#oc:lux

[tutterypuff]

I just feel like forsaken formalwear has to be a little punk if you're not going goth

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Twenty-Four

Freddie is sitting on a hill, morning dew soaking into his trousers, and watching the smoke rise from what’s left of the last town he and Lux had been through.

She’s laying beside him, eyes closed. She might be asleep, maybe just resting, but he doesn’t really care either way. They don’t have to move on just yet, no one left alive to come and chase them away.

Not that there would be much they could do even if they tried. This is only one of many towns that they’ve left a charred husk, and no one’s managed to stop them yet.

The smoke twists and curls up against the sky, blocking out the sun. Freddie can smell it, even at this distance, though perhaps it just clings to his clothes.

It isn’t unpleasant. He likes it, even. In a way it’s even comforting.

Lux doesn’t like it quite so much, wrinkles her nose at him and rolls her eyes, but she’s never complained past that, and he thinks she revels in the burning almost as much as he does.

He doesn’t know why they’re doing this, not really. It’s … revenge, in a way, for Alexei, and for Cas. Never mind these people had nothing to do with their deaths. They’re not getting the answers they want, and they don’t make empty threats.

It doesn’t help, really, with the grief and the emptiness. No amount of blood and smoke is going to fill the empty space in his heart where Alexei should be, and he doubts tears and death will ever replace Cas.

Still, sometimes it makes him feel a little better, if not for long. There’s a moment, when everything around him is fire and screaming and death, that he feels peace.

It’s gone in an instant, but he chases it. He wonders if Lux does too, or if its something else for her. If the death bolsters her power, if she plans, eventually, to take on the rest of the gods too.

He’d stand with her, if she did. Perhaps Trix was the one to end Alexei, to end Cas, but the others never once tried to stop him. They’ve always just pushed them further and further, all of them, until they couldn’t take it anymore.

Freddie would like to see the gods burn. He would like that very much.

He hasn’t asked, though. They don’t talk about it, don’t talk about much. Freddie’s grasp on sign is shaky at best, and even if they could speak freely he doesn’t think either of them would want to. They have curt conversations with the little sign he knows and sometimes pass notes, but that’s the extent of it. They don’t talk about their feelings.

Not that he even really has them, anymore. Just grief, and rage, and the freezing, all-consuming emptiness.

They don’t really talk about their plans, either. Just keep moving forwards, village after town after city left a smoking wreck.

He knows he should feel some sort of guilt over it. Most of the people who die in the blaze or to Lux’s power don’t deserve it, are just trying to live their lives. It isn’t their fault they don’t have the answers they’re looking for.

He doesn’t, though. He just watches the flames lick up towards the sky, consuming buildings and people, and he doesn’t feel anything at all.

Maybe it will come back to bite him, one day. Maybe it’ll hit him all at once and the weight of the guilt will kill him, as it would have before he lost Alexei, but for now he just can’t bring himself to even care.

Lux shifts in the grass beside him, propping herself up on her elbows and looking up at the smoke curling towards the sky.

For a while they sit there in silence, watching the smoke together, until she finally pulls herself into a proper sitting position, one that lets her sign.

“Time to move on.”

Freddie doesn’t know if she means it as a question. Just nods and pulls himself to his feet, offering her a hand.

She gives him a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes and lets him pull her to her feet.

Time to move on.

[zuggossh]

before and after pics. what a glow up.

[decaytriarch]

Just finished her lunch and now she needs her afternoon snack!

[decaytriarch]

Welcome to WcDonalds can I take your order

[decaytriarch]

At the phone store and I did a self portrait while I wait

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Fourteen

The man’s fist comes down hard on Lux’s face and she stumbles back, eyes stinging with the force of it. She’s pretty sure her nose is broken by now, but she’s giving as good as she’s getting, and one of the man’s eyes is swollen almost closed.

He says something, but she can’t be bothered to lip-read. She highly doubts it’s important. A taunt, most likely, and she can fill in the gap herself.

He swings again and this time she dances to the side in time, using the opening to slam her fist into his side.

It makes him stumble, and she follows the first punch with a second. For a moment he doubles over and the crowd cheers, but the punch wasn’t enough to knock him down. The second Lux lets her guard down he’s on her again. She dodges the fist aimed for her head and takes the second in the stomach. This time she doubles over, trying to catch her breath, and stumbles back towards the corner of the ring.

The man is laughing as she straightens herself up again, but he waits until she’s raised her fists again to advance.

She swings and he dodges, he swings and she ducks, and for a few minutes that’s how it goes. Lux can see on the faces of the crowd surrounding them that some of them are getting bored, but that’s not her problem.

And then he feints and she falls for it, and he lands a heavy blow to her kidneys. She doubles over again, and this time he doesn’t hesitate before hitting her again. The blow sends her to the ground, hard, and she groans, rolling onto her side and trying to catch her breath.

She lost. Again.

She forces herself to sit up a little and he offers her a hand with a grin. She takes it, lets him pull her to her feet.

“Better luck next time,” he says, and she gives him a tired smile, nodding, following him over to the table where they left their things.

The crowd is swarming them now, and people pat her on the shoulder, giving her sympathetic smiles and saying things that she can’t catch.

He gathers up the coins they both left on the table and slips them into his bag. She sighs and goes through her bag for a bottle of water, half full. It’s all she and Cas have for the day, and she can’t afford to waste it, but she takes a few sips and puts it back.

Someone taps her on the shoulder and she turns to find the referee standing beside her.

“You fighting again?” he asks, and she considers, slipping her hand into the pocket of her coat. She still has enough to pay the entry fee again, and she could get back what she’d just lost.

The word no! rings in her mind for a moment.

Oh, fuck.

She pulls her hand out of her pocket and shakes her head, pulling her coat on and slinging her bag over her shoulders.

He’s disappointed, she can tell, but it’s too bad.

She turns towards the exit and finds Cas there, arms crossed.

You idiot, he says, and she gives him a sheepish smile across the room.

It takes her some time to push her way through the crowd, several of them exchanging winnings and losings from betting on the fight. Several of them try to stop her, but she waves them off and makes her way out of the room.

Cas has backed off a little and is standing in the corridor now, leaning against the wall, and he grabs her wrist as soon as she’s close enough, towing her away and towards the dorms, which are usually almost empty by now

You got back early, she says, silent.

Cas ignores her. He’s pissed.

He ignores her all the way back to the dorms, until they’re both sitting on the bed they share, and then he turns to glare.

You said you’d stopped.

I did stop, Lux protests, which is sort of true. But they’re running low on money at the moment. But we need the money.

It’s not really about the money, she just enjoys the fight, and she knows Cas knows that, but at least it’s true that they need the money. They’re spending almost everything they get just trying to survive.

You said you’d stopped, is all Cas says.

Lux rubs a hand over her face, winces as she touches her swollen nose. She should probably set that soon, or it’s going to heal crooked.

Fine, I lied. But I won more than I lost.

It’s not about the money, Cas says, and puts a hand on her face, assessing the damage. You’re getting hurt.

We’re both going to die in here if we don’t get the money to get out.

Cas shakes his head. It’s not worth it.

It is to me.

You enjoy it. It’s accusatory, even as she can feel his worry leaking across the bond.

I don’t do it for fun.

That’s … sort of a lie. She would fight even if they didn’t need the money, because she needs the rush it gives her. Cas doesn’t need to know that.

He can feel that it’s a lie, though, and he narrows his eyes. Yes you do.

We need the money.

You’re deflecting.

Lux sighs and rolls her eyes. I’m not going to stop.

You have to.

Are you in charge of me now?

Lux.

Lux glares at him. Either help me set my nose or go away.

Cas very clearly projects irritation across their bond, but he doesn’t say anything further. Just helps her get her face looking slightly less bashed up.

I’m sorry, she tells him, once they’re done and they’re laying awkwardly on the too-small bed, his head on her chest. She’s not going to stop, but she doesn’t mean to worry him.

You won’t stop.

No.

Then don’t apologise.

She sighs, but that’s the end of it. Cas doesn’t bring it up again, not tonight, and they have a tentative peace.

[jaysworlds]

Whumptober 2021 Day Ten

They’ve been on the ship for a few weeks, now. No walking around, not much moving at all, and Alexei doesn’t understand why his leg is acting up so much.

It just aches, all the time, and it’s bad enough that he’s been struggling to walk.

The others know. There’s nothing he can really do to hide it, especially from Freddie. He wishes they’d just leave him to deal with it himself, but while he’d never admit it it’s actually nice to be fussed over for once. He likes that they care.

Still, it would be better if his leg just didn’t hurt. He understands when it acts up after walking on it for too long, but he hasn’t been walking on it. He’s mostly been sitting around the ship bored out of his mind, the same as everyone else.

Lux is the only one he tells the actual story behind the injury. Maybe he’ll tell Freddie one day, but not yet.

She’s as sympathetic as she always is (in that she wrinkles her nose and makes a really bad joke about it which somehow manages to make him feel better than anything else she could have said), and he feels better for having told her. It doesn’t make his leg hurt any less, but it takes a weight off his shoulders.

“Can I help?” she asks, once she’s finished laughing at her own joke.

Alexei shrugs, picking at a thread on his trousers. “I doubt it. Usually I just rest until the pain stops.”

“Have you been resting?”

“I’ve been doing nothing but resting,” he signs, frustrated. “Freddie’s been … hovering. You know how he gets.”

He doesn’t actually mind, not so much, but it gets annoying after a while. He’s not an invalid, it just … hurts.

Lux laughs, nodding. “He means well.”

“I know.”

“He loves you.” She drags the sign for love out until Alexei smacks her hands.

“I know,” he signs, rolling his eyes. “I just … I can look after myself.”

She gives him a look he can’t quite interpret. “I know. But you don’t have to.”

Alexei’s not sure what that’s supposed to mean, but he’s not asking her for an explanation. She’ll just give him an equally cryptic answer.

He slumps against her instead, trying to ignore the ache in his leg. There’s not even any weight on it right now, it shouldn’t hurt. Nothing he can do about it.

She puts an arm around his shoulders, and for a while they just sit there, until the contact gets too much and he pulls away.

She doesn’t mention it. She’s good like that.

“Should probably go see what Freddie’s doing,” he signs, and she nods.

“Should probably go see what Cas is doing.”

It hurts, standing up, and she must see it on his face, because she stands and puts a hand out towards him, though she doesn’t touch him.

“I’m fine,” he signs, slow and deliberate. “I’m fine.”

She purses her lips, but doesn’t comment.

He limps his way back down the stairs to the room he’s sharing with Freddie and collapses on the bed. Freddie’s not here right now, but he doesn’t have the energy to go looking for him.

Alexei must drift off to sleep, because next thing he knows the bed dips as Freddie climbs in beside him, and he starts awake.

“It’s alright,” Freddie whispers, and Alexei forces himself to sit up, shifting up the bed to rest against the headboard.

“How are you feeling?” Freddie asks, and Alexei just shrugs. He’s feeling a little disorientated from being woken up unexpectedly, to be honest, and his leg hurts.

Freddie shifts over to sit beside him, offering him a plate of food, and he starts picking at it.

“I told Mercy,” Freddie says, fingers picking at the blanket. Alexei can tell from his tone he feels bad about it, but he doesn’t comment. “About your leg, I mean.”

Alexei makes a vague noise of acknowledgement and Freddie looks over, giving him a tiny smile.

“He gave me this,” he says, and presses a cup into Alexei’s hands.

It looks like water, and feels like water, and Alexei raises an eyebrow at him. “This is water.”

“It’s got a powder in it,” Freddie says. “It’s … a painkiller, apparently.”

“A painkiller?” Alexei says, eyeing the water. He doesn’t really trust it, but at this point he’ll take anything that’ll make him feel better. And he trusts Freddie not to hurt him.

“Yeah,” Freddie says, nodding. “I … Mercy knows what he’s talking about, I think.”

“Alright,” Alexei says, and drinks the water in one go.

It doesn’t help, really. His leg still aches just as much as it did before.

“Did it help?” Freddie asks, and Alexei shrugs.

“Not really.”

“It might take time to kick in.”

“I guess so,” Alexei says. He doesn’t exactly have high hopes.

Freddie seems at a bit of a loss as to what to do, and Alexei shifts closer, resting his head on his shoulder. He doesn’t know why he’s always a little more okay with contact when he’s in pain, but its nice to be close, just for a while.

Freddie puts an arm around him, pulling him a little closer, and Alexei feels him kiss his forehead.

They sit there for a while, until Alexei realises the pain really is wearing off. He shifts his leg a little, just to check, and it hurts a little less than it did.

“Are you okay?” Freddie asks, and Alexei nods.

“That … painkiller’s working, I think.”

“Really?” Freddie says. He sounds pleased. “Good.”

“Thank you,” Alexei says, gently, and leans up to kiss him.

“Of course,” Freddie says.

He’ll have to thank Mercy for this later, but not now. For now he’s going to make the most of it and try to get some sleep without the pain nagging at him.