I'm going to cover a very basic and plain overview of facets of Patronage for those who are looking less for UwU practise and more for authentic and sincere traditional experiences.
Patronage is a wonderful experience. It is a very intimate and personal part of life that provides as much as it does take away.
Patronage, for me and ours, I suppose, has provided a particular type of tether that remains consistent throughout my time with my patron. There are other "types" of "tethers" that you can have with a being that are not "Patronage". But patronage provides a particular branch of connection depending on how you engage with it.
At least within my Tradition, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, no matter the circumstances, you will have a connection to your patron.
Time, place, and location cannot impact the connection you have with your patron. In a way, this feels often like a nice security blanket. Sturdy and reliable, there is an infallible bond. That often can feel empowering. But it is not without its drawbacks.
Often, a being's ward is their responsibility. This responsibility means that your connection and engagements may feel like your own responsibility as well. In many traditions, Patronage is a high demand relationship with long-term commitment. It is not just a glittery "My god/spirit/force looks after me" kind of relationship. This is a binding relationship and to accept that kind of aid carries a lot of weight and expectations.
Depending on tradition and structure, your patron has a lot of say in what you do and what you do not do. They will barricade certain paths from you and open others. They may put you into situations that are uncomfortable. Or they may force you to make changes in your life that you do not wish to.
Often, in most traditions, there is some loss of autonomy. Your choices and options are shaped by your patron, whether you agree with them or not.
Examples of experiencing a loss of agency and/or autonomy may include dietary habits, sleeping patterns, who you are friends with, what you wear and when you wear it, or who you are allowed and not allowed to speak to regarding various matters. You may become a “Holder of Covenant" in which you may be barred from speaking on many matters regarding your Tradition and Path.
The first years are often rocky. There is not as much "balance" in the reciprocity as you may really think. The path is not as smooth and gilded as people often imagine it to be. In most traditions, you will need to be trained, honed, and cultivated to become attuned to what your patron expects and desires from you. This is part of building harmony. But this is also you losing your own agency.
Especially in my particular Family tradition, failure to do so will result in dissonance between you and a being you're supposed to be considering an intimate and sacred part of your entire being.
This dissonance will not allow your relationship to survive. You have to sacrifice agency to have the harmony needed or else you may suffer deeply from disharmony. This suffering can be physically, mentally, or spiritually and emotionally.
Depending on what you have going on, they can cut you out of relationships and connections you may have. If they deem a relationship ill-suiting, then expect to either end it yourself or they will end it for you.
Depending on tradition and belief as well, your patron may deem it fit to dish out penance for ignoring or otherwise disregarding their authority and direction. When taking on a Patron, you are often pulled into their moral compass as well. This causes your own idea of morality to become blurred as you operate and engage with people under their discretion and not your own.
There is always the puppy-love stage of patronage. And often, across those that are not properly exposed to the sacredness of patronage, "forget" or "drop out" of "patronage" before they hit year five-and often even before that as well. I've seen it a thousand times and I will see it a thousand times more.
It's work. It's not just "oh you have a "patron"." and then you do fuck all. It is work, consistent communion, regular engagements and meditation. It is commitment.
It is also trust.
You have to trust, listen, and communicate.
When you have a patron, you're entrusting yourself to that Being. There is a degree of surrender that has to be acknowledged and accepted. This, I find, is one of the critical points that is missed by people who enter patronage without knowing what it may actually entail.
At least in my particular tradition, our structures hold immensely intimate value. You decided to accept the protection, care, shelter, and resources of a Being that has immense power- but because you're sheltered under their roof, you are also subject to their rules, appetites, and desires.
It is these kinds of oversights that will cause a lot of difficulty in the future.
Additionally, in many workings and paths or traditions, there are often "trial periods" for patronage you may attempt as well. This is also something people often forget. These may last for several months or a few years. For many people who experience critically rooted and intimate traditions, paths, and belief systems, a two or three year trial period is child’s play.
They may work with and engage with a Being for a year or two, maybe three or four and think that they've spent a lot of time with that Being. That may not really be the case. The idea of "time spent" versus "harmony" is not always present. People often enjoy the idea of something without understanding the less comfortable aspects that go into it.
Patronage changes you. It will reshape your psyche, personality, habits, even your body and your circumstances. Your own agency and autonomy is leased as it is then being tailored to suit the agency of the Being you have as a patron. It can strip away parts of you that you thought were "you" until they are entirely gone. You are not your own person in many ways and this is often forgotten.
This is why surrender, trust, and commitment are critical qualities to having a patron.
And yet, for those who thrive in it, patronage offers a form of guidance, intimacy, and transformation that nothing else replicates. The cost is high, but the depth of connection is incomparable.
Bullying, Mean, and Honest Truths About Spirituality
Under the cut is an honest and crude description based off of my own bias and opinion of new people joining Spiritual practises, the occult, or seeking magic and mysticism.
So you want to start practising the Occult.
You are drawn to the idea of Mysticism, Magic, the Occult, and “Witchcraft”. Let me say that again, but louder.
You.
Are Drawn.
To the IDEA
Of Mysticism, Magic, the Occult and “Witchcraft.
A lot of people like the idea of pets.
Pets are fun! You get a cat or a dog and they hang around and you imagine yourself going for long walks or hikes with a canine companion, or sitting at home and enjoying the company of a furry feline. Maybe it isn’t a dog or a cat or a common household pet. Maybe you want a bird! They are fun, right?
You see people on the internet through videos on whatever platform you’re wasting your hours on. You fantasize about what you would do or have. You spend hours entertaining this fantasy while looking at everyone else’s lives and situations.
You are drawn to the idea of something.
And then you ignore the important detail that these things require work, time, and dedication.
The Occult is just like people and pets.
There’s more people that i know that should not have pets than people that I know are responsible pet owners.
This, for me, is the same with the occult. Only, if you choose to neglect the Occult practise you claim to be drawn to, there isn’t really a penalty like a vet bill or a dead creature that you were supposed to be responsible for, for your negligence.
“Oh, I’ll just pick a “class” like an RPG and I’ll roll with it.”
Will you though? Will you dedicate the time and energy to do research on the subject matter you claim to be interested in? And not only will you give it the time and energy to just begin with the research, but will you also put in the dedication to put it into practice?
Be realistic with yourself. What are you actually going to do? Are you capable of maintaining routines and managing yourself and keeping up with the demands of the occult? Or are you just whimsically interested in it because it sounds “cool” and you had some friends in school that played with some tarot cards so now you think you’re a witch.
Let’s pretend you do actually have the self control and discipline to dedicate yourself to a spiritual path and practise. Let’s pretend you have that kind of integrity (but let’s be honest, you and I both know that’s a load of wash.)
Most likely, you’re coming from an Abrahamic Background, aren’t you? In the least, you’ve spent a lot of your life surrounded by vaguely misshapen ideas of “some sort of binary system where there’s good and bad spirits” or something or another and demons might be a thing? You don’t really know. But you took a class once that talked about Greek and Roman gods or maybe the Norse and Celtic gods, so you know there’s Gods out there! So that’s a START! Let’s go!!!!!!!!
You can just pick a god and run with it, right? Like, who cares? Just pick what makes you go “Yeah that’s neat and cool. I’ll take this out for a spin.” and pretend that you’re somehow deeply connected to this being. You read something or another about this deity or this pantheon at some point or another (or something like that). Just google search and read the Wikipedia page and waste a few more hours on it till you’re a Reddixpert on it! You have everything you need and a few days later you throw down a candle and incense and you’re blown away by feeling a strong connection to this god! HOLY COW! It’s working?! Let’s face it, you’ve not been connected to anything at all in your self obsessed life for a long time. So you think it’s “Special” when you get an answer. It’s not.
Sorry, sugar. You’re not special. You’re not a little special little sugar plum fairy that is adored by the gods. Because, believe it or not, you have to build relationships. But not just that, you’ve just pulled a “White Person” move. Most likely, you didn’t consult with or have any discussions with practitioners of the ethnicity and belief system you are interested in. Nor did you research the culture and how the religious and spiritual beliefs of those people manifest. I would suggest you learned some or a little bit or even all of the language of the people that the religion belonged to, but let’s be honest again with one another, you don’t have that in you for sure. You chose to take a God from a Pantheon and chose to take it entirely out of context. Congratulations! You pulled a White Colonialism Move so good that you took it to a spiritual level!
What? You thought you could just pick whoever from wherever and just rip them out of their culture, place, language, and people and water it down till it suited you? What is this, Wicca?
It might be! If this sounds like your idea of fun, check out Wicca. They’re full of it. You have gods from across all seas (Except for some reason the Pacific? Not sure if it’s a weird Asian racism problem or if they’re just focusing on everything the British Empire stole from) being Shipped together like smutty fanfiction. It’s insane. Anubis and the Morrigan are having babies every year, I guess, and their child, who’s always a Son, is the next Cernunnos who is also Pan but also Hades and also is Thor every third life (or something, I don’t know I’m not Wiccan).
What, you didn’t think that you actually had to respect a culture and the people that a religion belongs to? What are you, a pilfering bandit? There’s a right way and a wrong way to do these things. But what’s important is that you have to be honest.
Yeah that’s a big word. “Honesty”.
How honest are you with yourself? How true are you to what you think you can achieve and accomplish? Are you really going to read all of those books and write notes and document things? Are you really going to make a whole entire lifestyle change that surrounds and accommodates the culture, belief systems, and structures of a culture’s religion and beliefs? Are you? Are you really? If you make the change, are you going to commit to the change? Or, in a few weeks or months are you going to revert right back to the way you’ve always lived your life?
Again. This is the difference between enjoying the idea of something versus actually doing the work. And that is what the occult is. It is work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. It is putting you on the grindstone and making you both rethink, reshape, and re-evaluate your entire being. It is going to make you uncomfortable. It is going to challenge you. It is meant to help you grow and be better. And growth doesn’t happen when you’re being spoon fed off of a lace spoon. Your idea of what things are is going to be challenged.
That’s another word that has a tendency to throw people out of the Occult. Challenge.
If you’re new to the Occult, you’re going to have to learn a critical skill that, in my opinion, very few possess.
Everyone wants to be “right”. It sucks when you’re wrong. How well do you handle it when someone corrects you. Let’s be honest. It’s awkward. It’s embarrassing. Everyone wants to be right. YOUR PRIDE IS SENSITIVE DAMNIT!
You’re a sensitive snowflake and you need to be swaddled in soft cashmere and reassured that you’re perfect because of course you are, sugar-pie.
But we have to touch some grass and live in reality. Yeah, I know the occult feels like you’re indulging a fantasy, but it’s not. Spiritual practises and spiritual beliefs are real things that have real people of many different cultures and languages and walks of life. And these practises are not just little badges and stickers you can throw on a water bottle and make yourself feel like a “Validated Witchy Bitch, Baby! ‘Cause we’re Feminist and COOL.”
(And by the way, you are not “The Daughters of the Witches you Couldn’t Burn”. Get fucked, you uneducated slut.)
You are going to have to approach everything, and yes I mean everything, with the air of caution in your heart and mind that says “Maybe I do not know what I am talking about.”
This is almost impossible for some (haha just kidding it’s pretty much everyone. I’m guilty of failing at this sometimes myself), to approach everything that someone says with an air of “Maybe this person knows more than me.”
When you engage with other people and you give them the space to speak about a subject that they are educated in, always be open. You must be so open that you automatically assume that you know nothing about the subject that someone is going to educate you on. Assume you have no education at all. And then listen. Yeah, I said it. You have to listen.
Listening??? To someone else??? Telling you what’s what???? Are you kidding me? What is this, a Learning Experience?
Yes, Yes it is you poor summer child. It is a learning experience. And if you can’t be bothered to learn and to try and learn then you’re not going to make it.
And if you can’t be bothered to listen, to read, to do work, to give effort, and to re-evaluate yourself constantly, you are not going to make it.
So make the choice.
Commit.
Or walk away.
No one is going to think poorly of you for admitting that you’re not cut out for this.
But everyone. Everyone you interact with that is a real practitioner with a real lifestyle that encompasses their spiritual practise (because, surprise! The spiritual and the Mundane are intertwined in a very close and intimate way for practitioners) will be able to sniff you out from a mile away and know that you’re not worth your own salt.
It’s okay to be “casual” in some circumstances. It’s okay to be “subtle” or to follow paths that are more accommodating to your needs. That’s fine. Don’t get me wrong. This is a high energy and very taxing experience. There are paths that are accommodating to your needs and your degree or spoons, your laziness, or your life conditions. (I’m inclusive, dammit. Some people are disabled. Some are just fucking lazy. Some are kids with a fantasy fetish. I don’t know. I don’t care. Figure out which you are and make choices like an adult).
But don’t go picking a path or integrate yourself to a spiritual lifestyle that has high demands or you cannot adhere to. Not only is it disrespectful to the culture, the people, and the beings involved. But it’s not good for yourself, either. You will not benefit from the experience. You won’t make it anywhere and you’ll be left constantly feeling like a failure because you cannot accommodate the demands of a lifestyle and belief system that has expectations that are outside of your parameters to accommodate.
But back to YOU! Because let’s be honest, this is mostly about YOU. Everything is mostly about you and yourself. That’s just how a massive amount of people think. Which isn’t wrong, don’t get me wrong. But you have to be Self Aware. (I know most of you are not self aware. Get over it). When you set yourself up with all these fantastical expectations and then nothing progressive and fantastic happens with your practise, it is mostly because you failed to follow through with your own work. Something happened along the way where you struggled for some reason or another and you didn’t have the discipline and the integrity to keep up with something. And that feeling sucks. You feel “Let Down” by the Occult. But you let yourself down. In some way shape or form, you let yourself down. Because everything is about you, this means you have to be responsible for YOU. Yeah. I said it. You have to be responsible for yourself. No one’s wiping your Spiritual Ass for you. You have to do your own work and wipe your own spiritual butthole, and that also means cleaning up your own spiritual messes and doing the spiritual work and dedicating the time and dedicating the energy and making the changes to your life you need to make and then committing to them. It’s all Change, baby! And if you can’t handle change, then you can’t handle commitment to the occult.
And that’s okay! If you can’t handle some things, then DON’T FUCKING DO THEM?????
Maybe step away from that. And yeah, it’s okay to “try” some things to a degree. But please. For the love of fuck, approach them with the respect, dignity, and understanding that they deserve. Always approach a practise (And 99% of all practises have roots in SOME sort of ethnic culture!) with the respect it deserves. Do your best to adhere to those cultures and their beliefs and be as strict as you can while accommodating those traditions. They’re called “Traditions” for a reason. Treat them like they are sacred because they are. I shouldn’t have to explain to people that “Traditions of Spiritual Cultures are Sacred”, yet this post is being made because, quite clearly, this is a common issue.
I’m not “Gatekeeping” anything by saying this. I’m telling you to explore as much as you can. But when you do so, don’t explore different spiritual practises and traditions like the tourists that make the locals want to commit a homicide. Which is how so many people getting into the occult treat Traditions they are exploring.
You want to be a good and a welcome guest. You can’t just trample whatever you feel like because you’re too self centred with your selfie stick in Greece to be aware that you’re disrupting people trying to live their daily lives. The locals should want you. Try to connect to the people and their language and culture. Don’t just stand in their ways and think their society should accommodate you because you’re visiting.
It is okay if something turns out that it isn’t for you. Be honest about it. Be respectful about it. Thank the people and the culture and those gods for their time for being Gracious Enough to Host you. And then move on. A little respect goes a long, long way.
The Occult and Spiritual practises opens the way for you to re-think everything that you believe and to apply new ideas, beliefs and principles to yourself to help you grow and explore yourself and your connection to people and places with deeper understanding.
Be honest.
Be open.
You have to grow. And if you are interested in the Occult, Spirituality and Mysticism, get ready because there’s going to be so many growing pains.
Darlings. Stop. You don't need to need a pre-packaged Temu version of a Demon to connect to them. Please.
I know many of you are new to this whole field. Or you're barely getting started. Some of you are babies who have hardly gotten into the first five years. (Yes. That amount of time is literally child's play).
You have skills to be developed. Discernment. Clair senses. Reading comprehension and media literacy. (Yes those skills are important, too). You have a lot of reading and then actions. It's okay to not know when you go into things.
But don't be asking people for pre-packaged versions of the Demonic. If you don't do the work then you are stunting your growth. It's scary.
I love everyone who is interested in Demonolatry and wanting to come work with the Demonic. I don't care why. I don't care what inspired you.
However, the people that are drawn to the demonic from things like Helluva Boss(?) and Hazbin, I gotta pump the breaks for you. Please be mindful that Demonolatry and Demonic workings and the Demonic are not cartoonish caricatures. Your attraction to the demonic based on these things is fine. But your approach needs to change and your obsession that stems from fanfiction and your Ao3 history and fandom is NOT the Demonic. Please separate your expectations of Fantasy (Your pop culture media) and the reality of Demonic workings.
People coming from pop culture media that are obsessed with these cartoons? You are making it impossible to educate and help you connect to the Demonic. You are making it impossible for us (The practitioners who have been at this for years or even our whole lives) to help you. Because you have a preconceived idea as to what you expect and that expectation is based in fantasy and not reality of the occult. Please remember that.
Fandom is fine. But please understand that your own understanding of the occult should not be based on cartoon fantasy.
In one of the Discord Servers I am a Guardian of, I posted a list of Thriftcraft techniques and some pointers/tips that had been brought up. The Question of the Week was discussing Thriftcraft tips and ideas.
Here was my contribution that some people do not normally think about:
Charity Shops and Second Hand Shoppes are your best friend!!! Camden town, goodwill, etc. These are your best friends. So are the dollar stores.
Dollar stores nowadays will sell oil/wax burners. Wax cubes and oils. Incense. Incense sticks. Cheap swaths of cloth. Little stone collections. Shell collections. Etc. I can literally build an altar for 15 dollars at a dollar store.
Take a picture of your altars and your items that you have already. Know what you're "looking for". Write down the dimensions of the space you already have.
Bring a tape measure!
Remember that you can paint or embellish everything on your own! You can get plain things that are on sale.
Second Hand Stores are awesome but there are many antique shops that are actually cheaper than second hand stores. Look for "Antique Mall".
Antiques are fantastic because they sometimes come with Bonus People and Memories.
You can use old frames from Antique Stores!
A simple black mirror is "Gloss" Acrylic Paint. A dollar store picture frame. Paint the back side of the glass.
Boom. Black Mirror. Works well too!
White Vinegar removes most dusty/musty aromas from items that were abandoned in someone's attic for a century.
You can buy cheap walmart or dollar store moss and hot glue it to random shit.
Every item you like, try to see what it looks like flipped upside down or if there's a way you can re-position something outside of its natural position.
your blog has singlehandedly inspired me to get back into developing my practice again after lots of mental hardship, thank you :,-) it’s so reassuring to see someone with a very similar belief system to my own and your writing is so charming, so I hope it’s okay to ask, but do you have any recommendations for some little things you would consider helpful for getting back into the swing of things? if not, thank you for the inspiration regardless. may your morning coffee/tea be the perfect temperature always and the new day sunlight fall gently upon your face.
Hello! And Welcome! It's so good to have you and to see you!
This is a wonderful question, actually! I am so happy I could facilitate a revitalisation in your Practise and Faith. What an incredible experience for me to be able to inspire someone else! I am so happy you have come my way.
This is an incredible important question. And it covers a subject / concern that I feel isn't spoken about enough. It's understandable for fallow times to occur. It is even important at times to go on a hiatus.
Below the cut is a somewhat long bit of advice and suggestion for you. I hope it helps you on your path!
It's daunting, sometimes, innit? Jumping back into something. Well, you know, I like to compare a lot of Spiritual practises a bit like farming or gardening. It's cyclical. Whether or not you incorporate cycles into your working isn't necessarily a necessity. But I am a Necromancer, so naturally cycles and those similar themes play large roles in my work.
Death. Birth. Life. Death. Rebirth.
So when someone is starting to come back into their traditions and practise, I always like to encourage that person to begin with weeding.
I like simple "pound stores / dollar stores" because they often sell cheap little journal / notebooks. If you have one already? Incredible!
Give it a task!
Take time to go over everything you once knew. Everything you thought you knew. Everything you studied. Everything you understood. Go through it. Is that information still accurate? Is it up to date? Have you learned anything different? What previous attracted your attention? Why? Is that information also up to date? What is drawing you now? Why?
All of these are good thought exercises. If you'd like, you can throw some bones or draw cards for some divination to help guide the subjects and how these thought exercises help you move forwards.
I would not give any of these subjects or focuses any more merit. Just that. Acknowledge what your field looks like. What it has in it. What your skills and practise might have looked like previously. Just take stock.
Then, collect all of that up, and set it aside. Set all of that information and previous experiences aside. And then begin from the ground up.
Begin with your core basics: Banishment, Cleansing, Grounding, Discernment, Energy Perception, Shielding, Mental Skills (focus, meditation, study skills), Warding, Opening and Closing circles, Centering, Invocation (calling forth spirits and entities), Evocation (calling up your own inner power and energy), and familiarise yourself with commonplace ritual and magical tools.
Things like: Prayer Cords, Beads, Chimes, Bells, Bowls, Athames, Besoms, Bolines, Offering Bowls, Censers, Cloths, Divination Tools - you know the list, I'm sure.
Treat yourself like you are a neophyte just starting out. Let yourself be eased gently back into the waters. Don't rush it. Allow yourself to grow your work back from the ground up. As you become more comfortable and more at ease with the beginning materials, let yourself explore and expand into avenues that previously had been a facet of your work. But do not feel pressured to force them into your practise either. Sometimes things change. That is okay. Maybe your new path has different focuses and studies now. Perhaps you are better suited for something new in this new stage of your life.
As an individual, you are dynamic. You grow and you explore. Facets of your individual are not going to be the same as they once were. Allow that which has died to be lain to rest with comfort and dignity and move forwards with grace with your new and fertile field. The world and your heart is your oyster. Let yourself be lead by the thrill of exploration or revitalise old energies if that is your joy! There is no wrong answer so long as your practise both fits, suits, and makes you happy.
Make adjustments if you feel something isn't fitting right. It's okay. Just take it slow. And enjoy the process above all else.
I hope this has provided you with not only ideas but further inspiration. May every corner of your mind blossom with eager energy and whimsical delight in your future to come, my friend!
