#occultist problems

[magic-study]

I wish we didn’t use so many different words for what are essentially the exact same concepts. It gives me a headache trying to remember it all.

Feminine/passive/gentle/left/negative/magnetical

Masculine/active/intense/right/positive/electrical

Body/Material/Physical

Spirit/Mind/Ego/Mental

Psychic/Soul/Astral

My brain is gonna explode.

[alicielalone]

My Christian Aunt: *points to pentacle necklace* Don’t you know what that means?

Me, an occultist/mystic/witch of more than 3 years: Yes.

My Christian Aunt: You need to do your research.

Me: I HAVE.

My Christian Aunt: ... When I read this Christian fiction series, I knew to take those symbols seriously.

Me: And after I did historical research, so did I.

[alicielalone]

Hi....

[hereticallyeverafter]

I'm wary of Christianity in general, that's nothing new. But what I really hate is when Christians will be all nice to me, knowing who I am and what I'm into- fully believing I am and am deserving of going to Hell for all eternity - and being nice to my face.

Maybe I'm taking it personally. It's not like they're trying to actively convert me either, I just hate the two-facedness of the interactions. I was raised Baptist and stayed that way up until my teen years; I know damn well that they know damn well they really shouldn't be associating with an occultist but they do anyway because they're nosy about my son. I hate having to be nice to them. I hate seeing their White Aryan Jesus on my Facebook wall. I hate that they act like I don't know how little I matter to them, spiritually, in the long run.

[agentskyhouse]

how hard can you bpvmt

Seemingly pretty fucking hard.

Did a massive and unplanned bit of work with Xolotl the other night after a visit in my sleep, immune system dropped out and went from 103 fever and rising while I was left to figure out what i needed to learn, learned it, accepted it (always the hardest part), and temp immediately started dropping. Ordeal lasted about 12 hours until I figured out the lesson and accepted it (took about 10 mins and it was that or go to the hospital for the fever) on Monday (1162017 - 17-2-17, aka right on time) and I’m still recuperating and it’s Friday. Lungs, Throat, and Heart are having the hardest time, but that was the focal point so who’s not surprised. Joys of having your solar plexus be a fucking barrier for 15ish years and finally opening up the flow more.

Last night was seemingly the next step in that entire energy upgrade in that we opened up to everything nearby and moved past the point of being able to be intimidated by anything that may attempt it anymore. Not because of insane power or anything ridiculous like that - because of the microcosm/macrochasm aka as above/so below rule that these things and I are all connected, my universes of self mirror all of them, and therefore I contain the multitudes that match their horrors, because I, therefore, contain the ability to be those horrors.

Because seemingly nothing levels the playing field like telling malevolent entities they’re stuck with you, it seems.

Elmira from tiny toons suddenly comes to mind.

This is the only night in my 6 months living in this apartment building, which is usually full of people fighting and screaming, that they were all silent. And not just silent - no one in the building was moving around at all. The moment me and all the energy around came to an understanding, horrible screaming started a block or two away (fighting? cats? I have no idea - it was a weird mix but not unusual on my block or either or both at the same time) and I told NVMBR to pull some of the stress from it, and the night went immediately silent again.

I think one car, all night, played loud music going by, which is unheard of here. Normally it’s constant.

I guess everything was being well behaved last night due to what was going on. Which I have curious feels about.

[agentskyhouse]

the thing no one tells you about working for chaos deities is that it’s some of the most logical, excessively progressive work you’ll ever be faced with. You take and make leaps and bounds that are horrifying, just flying over fucking chasms as if you’re on fucking speed, because you are, and the moment you are able to pull yourself to shore, panting and puking and passing out in your own fear and filth or babbling mania, the moment you start to slowly get back to your feet

you are kicked back in

or the ground gives way and you’re back in the drink

or the world inverses and the land becomes water

or you just pull yourself, cackling, back in anyway and it turns into land into a Porsche into an 8bit livingroom into a book into nothingness into a frog into the water again but now you’re the book the livingroom the frog the porsche and then yourself in your livingroom laughing screaming actually just sitting there blinking and going “... oh fuck you guys” while your deities high five over your head, giggling

[secretworkings]

I am proud of myself. I was able to exhibit some semblance of self control at the crystal shop today and purchased the crystals I really planned to buy.

The demon of impulse buying has left me…

for now.

[secretworkings]

Going broke from the crystal shop from buying a motherload of crystals for material manifestation. True story right here.