#ocscenarios

[dreamydarkblue]

time is the medicine but feelings are easy to forget

| ocscenarios, zane harris-xiao |

rating: T

word count: 429

tagging: @ravenadottir @aislinnstanaka @ariendiel @mistyeyedbi @moderarato @offtopicoverload @anotherbeingsworld

notes: this is something that just flashed in my mind the moment i heard this song. zane's memories from uni include the happiest and the lowest parts of her life. unfortunately this is from the lowest part. i hope to write about her uni years as soon as i can but for now i hope this little thing suffices. for the music suggestion, sen beni güzel hatırla by hande mehan.

Maybe it was in the way he kissed my lips. It felt different. He felt different. The red threading something through my veins as his passion. Maybe I should have been better at understanding things. I just lost all sense. He made me forget myself. Sometimes tragedy brought the best stories forward.

I guess my hands liked exploring him, something new, something to forget. I always swore not to use anything that could make me an addict, and there we were again. On the rooftop of the seventh club this week. I would never forget it, and he would never remember it.

Maybe it was in that one morning after, the sunlight on dark skin. Hugging him so close and yet feeling so far, almost like it wasn’t me in this moment. And it would all change in a few seconds, when he would trace my hands with his fingertips. Why did he have to make me hug him? I was gone.

He just liked me, and I loved him, senseless. We weren’t a thing and wouldn’t be anything at all, yet I wanted to hold him in front of everyone. Pulling him in hurt more than pushing him away. But he made me like the pain. I guess the leaves were falling and he didn’t care summer was ending. He would always have his hot blood burning at the edge and nothing would satisfy him enough. I could burn myself even more than he ever could.

Maybe it was in the cars honking and lights passing, 3 am on the clock it said. Was it tears down my eyes or just him? My lipstick on his lips, a lighter red than mine, made me want to kiss him again. And again and again and again. Maybe I was just stupid but everything faded away anyways.

The closest thing was him, to catching up to a lost feeling, forgotten on a Tuesday. He would promise to come back this time and I would believe him as a wish. Broken glass, screaming, shaking, pulling, hugging, looking at his eyes, kissing him. Again and again and again and again. I could be his best, I could be better, I could be what he wanted. A gasp and a tear, something different, something wild.

Maybe I needed to know myself. Wasn’t he the wildest I have ever seen?

I could have caught up to him if I was different, the way he couldn’t ignore.

How could I ever forget him, and how could he ever remember me as something other than beautiful?

[khisenarts]