#odd requests

[from-me-to-kate]

Today was the day...

My roommate has been asking me and her daughter to brush her teeth for the last year

... so tonight I told the little one, go get the toothbrush. Not only did she put the paste on it, she wet it. It was electric.

I got a paper towel and had her sit back with a pillow. She geared up and as gentle as I could and I put the brush against her teeth.

Ow.

Lol! I WAS gentle....

It didn't go well and I think she will ask again, but we TOTALLY CALLED HER BLUFF.

[noahfuckingdies]

First Odd DA "Request"

This happened back in February, but it haunts me to this day. DA people are fucking weird! By the way, this is the first and only comment I've gotten like this (so far). Very concerning and confusing. Others have had worse though.

(I think that "message" next to the reply button was their response when I flagged the comment. I'm not being mean, just trying to get a weird comment off a request I did so I don't look equally as... I don't know? Creepy?)

Also, the person claims to be a "professional artist". They're art is worse than mine was when I started on DA.

This is the submission that the comment was under before I flagged it.

(It was for someone on PokéAmino, I don't normally do ship art and especially not for Pokémon because it just seems a bit odd. But you do you, gave me something simple to draw anyways.)

[officialleehadan]

Hallowed Halls Memorial

"So let's see," Charon typed quickly. "Buried face-down, head  pointing north, in a Mountain Ash coffin carved with Norse runes- I  assume you'll be providing the required text-"

"Of course," the man across from her- who introduced himself as Eton,  although it could be fake, assured her. "Your carpenter will be able to  follow them precisely?"

"Absolutely. Harry's great. He makes all our custom orders," Charon  said. "And the coffin is to be painted red, yes? Would you like any  special additives in the paint?"

She offered a list to him and he looked it over as she finished entering the required dimensions of the casket in question. 

"Do you have- ah, yes. Oxblood, please," the gentleman said and  offered the list back. "I must say, you are very well fitted to my  rather unusual needs."

Oxblood it is," Charon confirmed. "Well, when that funeral parlor  down the road opened- they're a chain you see- we were going out of  business. But there are always the more unique requests around and  business is business."

"Quite. Well, consider me a pleased client," Erin told her, and  handed over his bank card with no sign of distress at the frankly  shocking price of his selections. "I thought for sure I would have to  contract everything separately."

"In house is better," Charon ran the card and had him sign the in  once. "It will be three days before your order is finished, and you will  have the opportunity to check that everything is to your specifications  before we move forward."

"Marvelous."

He gave her a firm handshake and headed out the door. Charon sighed. Really, that was tame compared to her usual clients. 

"Jenny," I'm ready for the next appointment," she said into the  intercom. A minute later. A tentative woman in a long, flowing white  dress stepped in. 

She didn't look terribly human, but sometimes they didn't. Charon  tried not to judge. If their money was good, it was fine, and none of  them had tried to eat her yet 

"Welcome to Hallowed Halls," Charon said, and offered the woman a handout of their options. "How can we help your departed?"

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[asongbirdandanoldhat]

Anyone ever broken their nose? Wanna hmu and tell me what that felt like?

[snailqueen42]

If you have your wisdom teeth in a box somewhere and you don't want them… I would take them off your hands…

[ozhawkauthor]

Hello bae could you make a crackship with Peter facinelli and Amber heard ?♡

I don’t even know who Peter Facinelli is. But I do know that Amber Heard is a real person and I don’t do RPF. I only do Marvel characters. So no, I’m sorry. Won’t be happening.

[storiesfromtheregister-blog]

People keep coming into the bookstore and asking if we sell digital camera memory cards.

Bookstore.

Besides that, didn't you check to see if you had your memory card before you went on vacation? Either that, or how many fucking pictures are you taking that you need another memory card? Even a 1gb card holds a few hundred pictures....

I guess I find it weird because I'm the kind of person who carries their flash drives on a lanyard around their neck, and all my SD cards in my wallet.