i would love it if my readmores worked
remembered that i felt (feel) sometimes that fuji never really loved me like i loved her and it kinda fuckin hurts i can't lie. i have all this fuji merch in my room and i kinda don't know what to do with it because sometimes i go between missing her horribly and sometimes i can't even look at her. often both. her formalwear banner should be live right now but i kinda can't bring myself to even log into uma rn because like. i can't look at her and know that i had to give up on her because i felt like i was too much for her to love. i cannot do that and feel okay. as i'm typing this i have 2 standees and a figure of her staring me in the face. i wish i could feel like she'd love me but like. i can't help but feel like she would either not see me that way at best or at worst be afraid of me, afraid of loving me and all my emotions. i wish i knew what to do. i wish i could find it in my heart to believe that she would ever be capable of loving me in the way that i want to be loved but i just can't believe that. i miss her so much but i . i don't know. i don't know how to do this it hurts
