continuation from x // @offcolord
Being back home was surreal – and confusing, to a point. Himself and the Off Colors had fought so long, and so hard, to get to Earth… and now that he was here, he didn’t know what direction to go in. The Gem War, the one that he had been tethered into because of everything that had happened with Steven, was effectively over – The Diamonds had had sense talked into them, came to Earth, and had fixed the corrupted gems. What else was there? For Lars? Or for the Off Colors? Perhaps – the Off Colors could just live; enjoy life without hiding. But Lars? Would he go back to the Big Donut? What would he do, truly, now that he had achieved his goal of returning home? And not only returning home, returning home different than the way he had been before – he didn’t feel that different, but he knew that he was. Just as Beach City was different. He jerks, slightly, when he hears Sadie’s voice on the other side of the door – scrubbing a hand through cotton candy locks ; narrowing his eyes at his own reflection in the mirror. And even Sadie –.. he had had so much he wanted to say to her, so much planned; he had had so much time to plan it all… But none of it had effectively came out when he had seen her again on the beach during her show. He had gotten afraid, all over again. “I … - yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s fine, Sadie…- I’ll be out in a minute.”
Everything’a changed and nothing has. Standing on the other side of a closed door, dread tinged deja vu blocks out all the good. Because despite all that’s happened , Sadie’s still on the outside and Lars is still light years away. How can she be Sadie Killer everywhere , but here ? Where it’s most needed ? Maybe that’s her curse -- a real one , not the red eyeliner and strawberry donut effect. She may be a “ rockstar ” now , but how can she ever begin understand a space captain ?
Sadie never claimed to really understand Lars , but now there’s a whole second life she missed. Daring adventures in the stars while both her feet were planted firmly on the ground. How small she must look to him now. No wonder he’s locked me out. But even as she thinks it , she knows she’s wrong. Because there’s a familiar shade of pain in his new rosy hue. Because you don’t lock yourself away when things are okay.
“ Yeah , sure. ” He doesn’t sound fine and Sadie sighs -- maybe a little too audibly. Back to the wall , she slides down , arms wrapping tightly around her knees. “ I’m not. ” She’s talking to a closed door , to someone a million years away , and maybe that’s why she can say it. It’s easier than saying it to his face. “ I’m not fine. ”
