❝ nobody needs to know. ❞
THE LAST FIVE YEARS // accepting // @offprescriptions
❝ i know you don’t.... that it must be hard, after everything, to open up about all o’ this. but Josh, i think maybe it’d be a good thing to TALK to someone, other than me. ❞ it’s quiet, so very early in the morning and they’ve been talking through the phone for hours - laughing and swapping stories of their days, at first. but it inevitably reaches that point of no return, where past anguish claws its way up throats and clenches cold hands around hearts. it always comes back to that night. that vacation in the mountains. the twins. it’s hit Josh the hardest of them all, obviously, but it’s been a solace, a balm against the pain to be able to talk with him each night the guilt and depression grew too loud in her head to sleep. they soothe each other. become comforting voices in the night to chase away the nightmares. but it’s not enough, not for the depth with which Josh feels.
Sam doesn’t feel like enough, not good enough never good enough, to keep his head above the water, and it hurts each time to hear him breakdown and whisper rage and anguish into the receiver of his phone. she wants to desperately to help ( so scared that she can’t cope, doesn’t want to see him drown himself, hang himself in the depths of his emotions ---- not qualified to deal with his issues no matter how much she WANTS to ). she can’t give him the help he needs, but she’ll always be there to offer conversation. and she’s been pressing this issue for the last week, pleading and almost begging him to at least talk to his parents, his therapist, about the quiet things he admits in the darkness of his own room ; into the secrecy of their conversations. ❝ i can be there with you, when you do. if- if you want? i just want you to be OKAY Josh. ❞
