「 continued from here | @ofsteveisms 」
Bucky didn’t have a particularly good justification for his actions, and even if he did, there was no way Steve was going to see it that way. No, he had… fucked up, bad, and rather than using any sort of elegance, he had told him in the bluntest manner possible.
He hung his head in defeat, before the argument even began. He had thought honesty was the best policy, but clearly he could’ve gone about it different.
The whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing wasn’t going to fly. Though it was true, he hadn’t done it because Steve wasn’t enough, or had done something wrong. Barnes had just… made a big mistake and now was owning up to it. He let out a sigh that was heavy with regret, his expression nothing but a depressed scowl.
“I’m on a roll with the bad decisions…” He muttered to himself. A weak, exasperated chuckle escaping him as he looked to Steve.
He could see the hurt on him, see the pain he was causing and suddenly he wished he had just kept it to himself and lied. It would’ve been better, easier, maybe. Barnes let what little of his pride remained die, burning away as he tried his best not to make the situation worse.
“It wasn’t… no, it had nothing to do with you.” He countered, wishing that Steve would just hit him. It’d be easier. “I just…”
Was an idiot? Selfish? Fucked up?
He looked away, biting his lip as he fought down every emotion possible that was trying to surge to the surface.
“I’m just a colossal asshole.”