@ofunderdogs
THERE’S A DARKNESS TO HER GAZE, jaw locked and teeth grinding against themselves while she sat on the very edge of the bed – feet hanging freely over the edge. This was unhealthy, for both of them. The constant chop and change of their schedules, the no-strings mentality that kept telling herself still existed between them. But that was the problem. Strings had been more than attached, feelings had grown deep-rooted and had anyone have asked her off guard, she’d say they were an item.
But lucky for her, she was rarely to be caught in such a vulnerable manner. Only two people had seen her in a state she’d refer to as vulnerable since she had closed to door to her emotions. Those two people were her mother, and him. Sami. That was one too many people for her liking, hell, she didn’t even like the fact that her mother had seen her in such a state. But she was less concerned about the latter and more the former. So she began to ponder the thought of ending it. It wasn’t fair on Sami anymore, and she knew she couldn’t give the commitment needed in a functioning relationship. She was doing this for Sami, was what she decided. He deserved someone who’d give him the world ------ while she couldn’t even scrounge for a star.
Though she second she turned back to his sleeping figure, she had to force away from the smile that wanted to break through her composure. He was so innocent and pure; a person she knew only even had genuine intentions and would never take something, or someone, for granted. He was at the polar opposite end the scale to Paige. Everything that Paige wasn’t Sami was, and more. He practically radiated happiness and positivity, like the sun, he was always so warm – even to the touch. Paige was nothing like him, would never be anything like him and she knew of this. This is why she needed to put a stop to... whatever it was they had been doing. But the swirling feeling deep in her stomach wanted him. Feel the warmth of his arms cradling her, the sound of his voice while it was gruff with sleep saying her name with the first light of the morning. ‘ Dammit Sami. ’ He’d gotten under her skin, that was for sure. Gotten under it enough for her eyes to grow red and sting with the prosperity of tears bordering on the corners of her eyes just begging for a blink so they could be released. Dammit.
‘ hey, wake up. ’ She spoke soft, hand going to his shoulder with a gentle shove. Should she have waited until morning? Yes. Would this decision seem brash in the morning? Yes. Which is why she needed to tell him now before she’d side against it. Maybe, just maybe, if she told him aloud that she couldn’t be that person that something inside of her would change ---- but she highly doubted that. ‘ Sami... C’mon wake up. ’
