In which I nerd out about PS and portal windows.
THE GREEN TEXT WAS ATTRACTIVE. NOW VIEW THE RED TEXT AGAIN.
Oh god we’re going back to TG again.
John is 1000% done with all these huge logs.
TG: when the film crew zooms where the presidents at
TG: im like if that dudes black ill eat my hat
TG: turns out he is, so we're all "damn, director's got gumption"
TG: like we'll all flip our shit he aint shining shoes or somethin
TG: its called freemancipation. if its not pres-election its god-ascension
TG: in bruce almighty. whoops, different bruce from the one i just mentioned
EB: aaaaaarrrgh!
Oh my fucking god TG was still going on and on with his reality-shattering godraps. That is amazing.
He is creating the perfect pop culture amalgam in there, too! I said it before but TG, you are a treasure.
TG: cant explain to me why this aint condescension to think ill shit a brick
TG: not even he can convey the intention with his quickspun wit
TG: rather defray all this tension, sit on his lap while he whittles a splint
TG: and some guy eyes what he does and patronizes: i guess negrocity's the mother of invention
I’m having an astral journey reading this.
TG, what in the actual fuck are you talking about??
You are the god of rambling I swear
EB: stop rapping for a second you horse's ass!
EB: i have something important to talk about.
TG: whats up
EB: rose is in trouble and she needs help. i was going to connect to her with sburb but i lost my copy!
TG: ok
Horse’s ass is a good insult.
Yeah I guess TG now has to bail her out after the car fuckup
EB: also she lost battery power. if she can get back up and running, she'll need someone with the game to get her out of there before her house burns down.
EB: so i think you should use your copy of the game to help her!
TG: my copy?
TG: thats going to be tough
Oh no what will the shenanigans be this time.
EB: why?
TG: i lost it
TG: its a stupid story and id rather not talk about it
TG: shit be embarrassing yo
Why are all the copies of this game getting lost so easily??? Take care of your videogames!!
What did you do to lose it, now I’m scared of whatever bullshit sequence of events transpired
EB: i thought you said you had two?
TG: well yeah
TG: one is my brothers copy
EB: ok, well get his then!
TG: alright
TG: but hes not gonna be happy about that
Is this going to be like a Dad situation where there is an interactive boss? That was really great so I hope it is!
EB: whatever.
EB: also you might want to read rose's walkthrough to get up to speed on this.
TG: oh man
EB: what?
TG: nothing really
TG: look all im saying is the girl tends to lay it on kinda thick you know?
EB: /ROLLS EYES
Embrace the purple prose TG! Let it envelop you in its glorious overwritten radiance!
Ooh we’re back with the purple lady herself!
She needs to find an alternative energy source asap, to help John and be able to stay communicated, before she burns to death!
Your LAPTOP is out of BATTERY POWER. There's only one thing left to do. Time to make your way to that BACKUP GENERATOR.
Yup, figured it would end up being relevant.
Rose: Knit laptop cozy to shield your laptop from the rain.
Time managment is not really your strong point it seems.
Oh you already had one made!!
The heart octopus is just the best.
I remember her inventory system to be an unholy nightmare.
That would be such a waste of time!
Besides, you already knitted one a while ago. You retrieve it from your KNITTING BAG and apply it to your LAPTOP.
You captchalogue the LAPTOP PLUS COZY.
Rose: Equip grimoire to strife specibus.
That could either result in getting arcane eldritch powers that man was not meant to know... or just a book to bludgeon people to death with.
I change my mind this just screams death.
That would be incredibly ill-advised!
There are some dark forces you just don't want to mess around with. You understand this better than most.
You put the book down.
I like the fact that Rose has an object with such dark and terrible powers even the inventory system and the narrator are advising us to put it as far away as possible from anything resembling a weapon slot.
Was I correct in the eldritch powers thing??
Rose: Recaptchalogue your items!
Oh hello again you terrible, terrible captchalogue system.
You grab the KNITTING BAG and the GRIMOIRE, in that order. It's always a logistical puzzle with your TREE MODUS.
The tree AUTO-BALANCES, leaving the KNITTING BAG accesible in the ROOT CARD.
Imagine having one of this in a real videogame.
Seems the kind of move Yoko Taro would do.
................That rithym minigame
Rose: Allocate knitting needles to strife specibus.
Eesh, that seems like a very nasty weapon by necessity.
You feel a lot more comfortable with this as a weapon. You're so handy with those needles, you feel like you could probably use them to filet a sword fish.
Damn, Rose could be fucking deadly with those.
Say goodbye to all the tender spots of flesh in your body.
John has it lucky with his captchalogue thing.
You lose the ROOT CARD in the process, severing the tree.
Hey, careful with all that stuff!
Yeah let’s not break the laptop. Or the Necronomicon, Or both.
Rose: Knit plush cuddle-cthulhu to soothe nerves.
...it’s the actual necronomicon isn’t it.
That would also be a preposterous waste of time!!!
Besides, you're quite sure you've never heard of this creature called "Cthulhu" before. There are however many other specimens of the ZOOLOGICALLY DUBIOUS you're familiar with.
Such as...
Or this universe’s version of it at least.
Rose: Consult the grimoire.
IT’S FLUTHLU!! WITH A BUNCH OF HORRIFYING BEASTS AROUND IT.
IN THE IMAGINARY CITY STREETS
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU GOT STABBED BY A VERY CHARISMATIC DETECTIVE AND BEHEADED BY A WINDOW PORTAL.
IN CASE YOU COULDN’T TELL, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE REFERENCE.
FLUTHLU, FOUL PATRICIAN OF MISERY. To hear his mammoth belly gurgle is to know the Epoch of Joy has come to an abrupt end
Oh god, we get to see even greater elder gods now!!
Nrub’yiglith.... is that a reference to Shrub-Niggurath? Seems the most likely one to me.
And NRUB'YIGLITH, SHAMEBEAST KING OF GROTESQUERY, WRITHE-LORD OF THE MOIST BEYONDHOOD. Hearing his melodious chirps and tongue-clicks causes one's bones to explode.
WRITHE-LORD OF THE MOIST BEYONDHOOD!!
These descriptions are fucking amazing.
Oglogoth....Ok, this is definitely Azathoth, the daemon sultan.
And of course there's OGLOGOTH, THE DEEP ONE. Whenever he grinds his teeth, all the children of a random galaxy somewhere will frown continuously for a nine thousand year span.
These fucking descriptions.... Holy shit give me 500 of these.
He is the first and smallest of the SMALLER GODS, appointed in servitude of a vile, unfathomable pantheon of MIDDLING GODS which caters to the whims of the NOBLE CIRCLE OF HORRORTERRORS, an omniscient, omnipotent order of the elite few, forever cloaked in the darkness of the FURTHEST RING.
So in the homestuck universe, Azathoth is just a scrub! There are a whole three tiers above him in power!
The noble circle of horrorterrors, cloaked in the darkness of the furthest ring...
Someone should make a story with all this lore, or use it in a DnD campaign. Some of this is legitimately really good.
THE WINDOW PORTALS. THEY ARE OUTLINED HERE AS WELL.
And then there's this strange page containing some rather mysterious notes on summoning procedures. You've never been quite sure what these diagrams are getting at.
.....of course they are the summoning rituals!!
They lead to the imaginary city and if you cut their power while you are outside an eldritch being appears!!
Flutulhu was summoned after a city-wide blackout, so I wonder what would be needed for oglogoth... I was going to say a planet-wide blackout, but the imaginary city is.....all that exists over there, alongside the four realms and the cathedral/brothel/sun and moon/GPI, and all the other cosmology.
Maybe if you were outside a window during the last supermassive black hole?? That is probably the most pitch black you could ever get while in the imaginary world....
