Title: A Voice
Rating: PG
Word count: 2,355
Prompt: Light’s plan goes awry, and he never gets the Death Note back into his hands. He begins to discover that he really was Kira and has to cope with the fact that he is a serial killer and doesn’t know it.
Author notes: I'm sorry if this is ooc for Light but I got so into it that I couldn't help put little sneaky comments in which he wouldn't say! anyway, hope you enjoy it!
I remember when we were on the move. The helicopter which I, L and Watari were placed in from the wind whistling within my hair to the cold harsh atmosphere that followed. We were re following the suspected and appointed third Kira. This was finally it; we were eventually going to find out how he killed his victims. I had begun to feel a little less unsuspected by the detective who went by the name L. I was convinced – no, I knew that I wasn’t the one of the other Kira’s. With all the open opportunities I had had, I didn’t dare touch the notebook just in case it was to lure me into its demonic ways which I clearly didn’t understand by the perspective of this said sadist. All I wanted was justice; surely there was no price to pay in wanting to uncover the truth?
When I and L had seen Kyosuke Higuchi arrested it was a mere blur. L had tried to hand me over the Deathnote but something which nagged in my mind was that if I did, something incredibly horrifying would happen. My brain was telling me to simply take the book but my heart was stopping it – clearly I was meant to take it. Becoming more resilient to the evidence we were gaining I shook my head.
“No, you keep it, L. It’d be best, and then you won’t suspect me even more, right? Plus this is not worth scientifically analysing, it’s beyond that.”
L merely looked at me with his earphones on and simply nodded his head once in agreement. We didn’t say much when returning back to the headquarters but I knew then that that was the moment I knew that I was slowly gaining his trust.
Within the present, it was just I, L and the rest of the Japanese Task Force within the building I was once confined it to see whether or not I was Kira. Of course, they found out nothing due to the fact that I wasn’t but that doesn’t matter, now that L – I would’ve thought – thinks of me as a worthy ‘detective’ I could focus on mainly capturing this serial killer. We’d already taken out the third Kira so it was only a matter of time until the others would slowly slip into their rightful place behind the bars of justice. My father and the rest of the task force gathered around a large table waiting for the Death Note to be observed. The place we constantly lived in was a large open space which allowed us to rack our brains over the smallest of details. I and L however felt the need to go to the multiple screens which were directly in front of the elevators. It seemed like a simple comfort to know that we had this many screens and a high tech computer, I’d always been fascinated by intelligence and the possibility of the new – perhaps a new world wher- no. Clearing my mind of such thought I turned my chair around and detected quietly.
They’d all seen the ‘Shinigami’ which took the name of Rem. Apparently she was fairly terrifying by the shocked and repulsed faces which followed each time one of the member’s would touch the book. Each of the men within task force began to search within the book, my curiosity would’ve gotten the better of me if it weren’t for the constant reading out of the rules which ensured my safety – they’ll just simply read it to me.
“This human whose name is written in this note will…die.” Aizawa read out in amazement and continued whilst we all looked on intrigued, “unless the writer has the persons face in mind when writing his or her name, therefore people sharing the same name will not be affected. If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of writing the person’s name it will happen…”
That guy could drone on about one of the most exciting things and it would still be boring. Looking around I glanced at L who was silently stacking containers into one large tower. Though I know it wasn’t his fault – it’s his job after all- I couldn’t help feel slightly resentful towards this kid. Accusing is one thing but giving percentages as to how much he suspects me? I would’ve thought he was a lunatic if I hadn’t known him for quite this long.
“-IS THAT TRUE AIZAWA?!” Matsuda suddenly screeched after hearing of the Deathnote’s capability.
I found it strange that I weren’t shocked by these ‘instructions’, it was as if I had heard them before in a distant dream or subtle conversation I overheard. No matter, I quickly shook my head and concentrated on the computer which was in front of me. If they were going to suspect me even further would they not have said something already? Of course they wouldn’t, probably waiting for Kira to slip up so I am not suspected again. Aizawa continued to read the book -
“If the person using the note fails to consequentially write names of people to be killed within 13 days of each other then the user….will die.”
Matsuda once again felt the need to butt in, but I must say that it was for my cause so I could reprimand him for that.
“Wha-? Which means that Light and Misa-Misa are completely cleared!”
The entire task force sighed in relief apart from the obvious who was too busy looking at his own computer with shell shock. His constant composed face was now full of fear. Sometimes it was hard to read L but when something major did seem to happen he would be the first person to react in an over dramatic way. However, I wasn’t focusing on him, I was focusing on the cold hard facts which were discovered today - another piece of the puzzle which has been put together, and this only ensured me my safety even more between these people.
“Yes, indeed, Light and Misa were detained for more than fifty days and are still under surve-.”
Psst, did you hear that Light?
What?
They locked you in for 50 days, you remember that well don’t you?
Confused, I looked behind my head to observe the person who had said that.
No one?
I was always the one to listen to my thoughts but this time it was different. It mustn’t have been who I thought it could be. I put all of my concentration on Aizawa and into what he was saying – however that a small voice at the back of my mind was still persistent in calling out crude lines whenever he could.
You should have taken the book whilst you were in the helicopter, that’s what you should’ve done.
Simply dismissing whatever the voice said I continued to spectate.
“There’s no way they’d still be alive…”
Haha, what idiots. You should take notebook out of his hands, Light. Go on, do it.
Was this voice egging me on to touch it?
It wasn’t as if it was a normal voice from a person whom I had known. No. This was my own voice but somehow it seemed…different? It was as if it was cold, cruel. Clasping my hands and scrunching my eyes up I concentrated on removing it.
You think that’s really going to stop me? Stop us? A simple mind block? Ha! I was such a fool.
What was this guy’s problem? No wait, what was my problem? Was it normal to have an argument with yourself?
“-uzaki, Light and Amane are cleared. Their surveillance is over.”
Back to the conversation and already I had started to have my name yet again cleared.
“…you’re right…”
I looked back at L. We had become closer when I had started to become more willing to accept the role as a detective with my father which meant putting my 100% efforts into it all. I had even considered him my friend though the chain and lock didn’t help.
We’ll win him. For justice.
Win? Win who? Racking my brains around I could only put the possibility that the voice meant L. But funnily enough the only person to have said that they would ‘win’ over L was…Kira.
“I’m very sorry about everything that has happened until now.”
It may have been a faint whisper on L’s part and that made me become ever more suspicious on what he thought about me. Due to these feelings, I found myself engrossed by the thoughts of knowing that I wanted L to believe me, he was my ‘friend’ and determination to end Kira just to prove him wrong fuelled me.
I felt a hand hold onto my shoulder.
“Thank goodness.”
This won’t be as bad as I thought…this could become an advantage on your behalf. Now if only you would touch th-
Interrupting the voice inside my head I urged myself on to reply to my father.
“Yeah, but we still can’t say we have solved the case” I dragged my body upwards staring towards my fellow co-workers and friends.
Tell them to take your handcuffs off. You’re not a prisoner to them now, surely?
I suppose the voice was right about that one, it would make it much easier to capture Kira without having to be with L all the time. The thing is, would that mean that I would top the investigation on Kira. If I asked them I’m sure they’d all agree, they need me.
“I want these handcuffs removed…but can I continue my investigation here?”
Not a second past and L told me the ultimate answer I’d been wanting to hear.
“Yes.”
That’s right, befriend him even more. Get closer to him, hahaha, you’re doing well I must say. He even believes the fake rules of a God. I don’t think he understands the concept of when a whole new world is created; all people must follow the rules of a God. We’re clear.
This malicious voice in my head just got worse. A fake rule…was he really talking about the death of the user dying in 13 days? An inclining in my mind felt that this was slightly true – no – it was true. I did not want to believe that I knew such a fact.
Misa was organised to leave because of being cleared. All of the task force had begun to say goodbye to her. She hugged me and looked around to the cameras only to sigh lightly, all the other members had decided to leave us alone which meant I could potentially let go of Misa to have some time on my own. Turning around, she went past my eye sight. Now that she was gone, I was allowed to do what I wanted for the time being.
I proceeded to go up the stairs. My legs followed each other one by one as if I was a drone but I simply didn’t have the energy to run up and have some peace and quiet to myself. This voice. This reoccurring voice was just stuck there.
She was meant to also hold the book; this was part of my plan. Ryuzaki was meant to die today.
“No.”
I held my head between my one of my hands, whilst the other was still holding onto the bannister which led me up to the room. It was supporting my body as I crumbled down onto one of the stairs shaking.
“Just go away! I’ve had enough of you!” I replied to the solemn voice.
You do realise who I am don’t you? It just loved taunting me with its knowledge. The feeling of dread and reluctance to know fuelled by body to get up.
“I-I don’t care!”
Aha. But you have a sense of who I am – who you are, don’t you? Don’t deny it.
My legs were shaking immensely now as I tried to pick myself off the stairs and once again to my room. I had to get to my room before I started looking like a crazy psychopath to everyone else.
“No. No. No.”
Slowly making my legs move up the stairs, I eventually came to the door which leads to the corridor my room was placed within. Pushing it open and stumbling inside, I closed it and readied myself for yet another painful journey both physically and mentally.
I hope you trust my judgement as to why I’m doing this to you. It’s for your own good, I’m lucky to be here at all.
I had just reached the 3rd to last door towards my room when I started to keel over. Yet again holding my head in my hands I begun to shriek.
“GO AWAY! I DON’T WANT YOU HERE, YOU’RE PREVENTING JUSTICE!”
I AM JUSTICE!
“NO. NO, YOU’RE NOT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE BUT GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”
I stared to push myself onto the walls. Bang my head. Anything to get this voice out of my head. It wasn’t going to control me or my actions.
“STOP. SAYING. THIS. WHO ARE YOU?!”
“S-sir are you okay?” A cleaner appeared before me in her uniform and moving table looking terrified, I assumed no one would be out here when it was close to dawn. She had evidently seen me struggling and thought it was going to help to see if I was okay. But it wasn’t. She doesn’t know.
“Y-yes, I’m fine thank you!”
I tried pleasantly to say but it came off as a growl, trying to get to my door which was now only a few footsteps away from me.
Putting the card within the sensor I enabled myself to step through the doorway. Slamming the door and sighing with relief I pushed myself against it and slid down to the flood. Inevitably I knew which answer I was going to get from the last question I had asked.
Light. Listen to me.
“….”
You are Kira.
“No.”
