Feeling sad about Arrow today. I mean, I’m medium high-key missing Arrow every day, all the time, but this is just a specific kind of melancholy.
I know it’s actually for a lot of reasons but specifically it’s because I just finished reading this fic - “He Deserves a Shot (At Being Happy)” by ChronicOlicity - and it left me with a strong sense of sadness and yearning. (But yes I do recommend it!)
It’s a season 2 reimagining - what if Tommy had lived - and (like the other things by the same author) it’s just so, so, soooo good. Unbelievably good, in that particular way that makes me angry all over again about what could have been on the show, if the writers hadn’t just flat-out sucked.
She started writing it in the summer after season 4 and finished it during 6b (!!!), so almost 2 years of writing (and over 500,000 words!!!), and it was such a ride. But I couldn’t help but feel (or maybe I’m just projecting) her exhaustion with the show as she wrote it - though she stayed fully committed to her own story - so that by the time she was done, I could feel her sigh of relief, a letting go not only of her story but of Olicity and Arrow itself.
And even though that was 2 and a half years ago now, it feels strangely present and personal, as if she’s just another person moving on while I’m still left here caring about Arrow and Olicity.
I guess I’ve always been prone to feeling this way, nostalgic for something I didn’t actually get to experience, since I joined the fandom so late - not until the day after 6x23 aired - long, long after Olicity’s and Arrow’s glory days were over.
Already at that point the majority of the fans had given up, leaving just a tenacious few of us behind. I have loved you all even more because of it, but lately I’m feeling like I’m still here while the rest of you have mostly managed to move on.
The show ended 6 months ago - and on top of that the world has much more pressing concerns than some TV show - but I still need it and want it and want others to want it too.
I guess a part of me feels like if I had been a part of the fandom all along, I would have more easily been able to let go along with most everyone else.
And also reading this fic just made me feel more inadequate as a fic writer. She (ChronicOlicity) was able to weave such a complex and impressive and good and well-written and (mostly) satisfying story, over such an extended amount of time, even while the show itself was sinking. Even while the fandom was hemorrhaging people. She just kept going, and that is both insanely impressive to me, and also makes me feel bad about myself because somehow I have been struggling to write lately, and I guess I have this fear (despite actual evidence to the contrary, in the form of kudos and comments that do keep trickling in), that it’s too late, that when I find my groove again, no one will be around to read anymore anyway.
Anyway, I dunno, I just thought I’d put these thoughts out there in case anyone else is still really missing Arrow and Olicity in a present, immediate way like I am.
I know I still talk to a lot of you all the time, even daily or hourly in some cases, but in those cases our friendship has kind of moved beyond Olicity (which I am glad for, of course), but I’m getting the feeling that with everyone’s busy lives, and the state of the world, many of you have moved on and I’m just wondering who’s still here with me? (or has everyone who still cares made the complete transition over to twitter? BTW I am on twitter now - https://twitter.com/allimarie_xf - just not very active. We all know brevity is not my strong suit.)
I kinda want to tag people but also I’m feeling like tagging you will only result in confirmation that you’ve moved on lol. Anyway hi! @1-crazy-dreamer @smoaking-greenarrow @tangled23works @babblingblondegenius @blondeeoneexox @cainc3 @ixxmcmxciv @theasianerd @stephswims @lucyyh @bookolicitynessa @booklove22 @ruwithmeguys @it-was-a-red-heeler @memcjo @smoakmonster @feilcityqueen @jules85 @swordandarrow @pleasantfanandstudent @andjustforthismoment @olicityotp-always