Condolescence (Chapter X)
Pairing: Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive) x OFC Language: English Rating: M
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„Adam,” He hadn’t heard her coming upstairs again. Frowning, the vampire shot a brief look over to his old-fashioned clock on the wall next to his dozens of portraits of scientists, writers and musicians and brushed off his headphones, tossing them aside. So much for working on new music but then again, he hadn’t been able to concentrate anyway. It was eight am already, the sun fighting to shine through his thick black curtains but failing the battle pathetically. “I barely slept at all. All I was doing was thinking about… Adam, I need to talk to you.”
“Do you?” His tone was questioning, careful and suspicious. The stone wall he had built up around himself rose to its peak, protecting his dead heart at any cost. He couldn’t possibly let her in again after what had happened just a few hours ago. He had drunken almost everything there was left. Soon, he would have to go for a drive and obtain new supplies for himself.
“Yes. I may not be a psychiatrist but I can tell if someone is suffering and you… you are. I’m so glad you told me about your dead wife, Adam, I know it takes a lot of courage to do so but still, I feel like you’re trying everything in your power to stay away from me, as much as this is possible, considering I live in your house. You insisted on me moving here when I lost my job and my apartment and yet, I feel so rejected. No, you… you make me feel like I’m rejecting you. I…” She took a deep breath. Her whole body was shaking as she spoke, her voice so loud Adam almost flinched.
“I know I don’t know how much pain you’ve been forced to go through and I don’t know what I could do to make it better but I really want to help you. I want to give you something in return for letting me be here until I’ve finally found something new but no matter what I do, you’re so… cold, and I just… I just… I just can’t keep going like this! It hurts so much seeing you suffer like this and not being able to do anything about it! I told you I trusted you but right now, I feel like a prisoner! Not because I am in this house with you but because I’m unable to break you out of this unbearable silence and grief you surround yourself with! You saved my life, Adam, I am grateful for that but why on Earth would you—“
Tal didn’t get to finish her sentence, for the vampire had rushed forward so fast she didn’t even manage to blink. Within a matter of seconds, his lips came crashing down on hers, his hands pulling her fragile body against his. Words could not describe how much he longed for her, how much he was into her, for everything she had said was true. He was cold, unapproachable and withdrawn but what was there he could do without revealing his true nature to her?
He knew he needed to stay away from her, focus on his music instead of her sweet blood but those words, coming from her beautiful lips… he couldn’t help it. Not quite.
He kissed her passionately, her eyes falling shut as she gave in, ravishing the feeling of being so close to him. It was like they were magnets—drawn to each other and unable to move away. It’s why she, unbeknownst to him, hardly ever left the house when he was asleep, it was why she had agreed on living with him and it was why she realised that she had long fallen for the mysterious black-haired man with the English accent.
A silent moan escaped Adam’s lips. Tal’s flesh was delicious, as tasteful as her blood and so soft. He could kiss her forever, never let go of her pretty mouth again. Almost shyly, his tongue asked for permission to enter, sneaking between her lips and starting a playful battle with hers. He felt her digging her nails into his black shirt greedily, so he pressed her even closer to him.
It was then she pushed him away with a start, her eyes widening in shock as she looked up at him. What had he done? Had he been too greedy, too ungentle?
“Adam… Adam, what…” Her fear stopped her from finishing her sentence this time. It radiated off her like heat, luring his inner monster to pounce on her, to scare his prey until it would surrender and give in to its inevitable death.
His fangs had appeared, growing longer and longer during the kiss until they were ready to bury them deep in her sensitive human flesh, his eyes as brown and golden as they’d been back in his cellar where he’d devoured a week’s ration of blood. As for now, he was exactly what he had intended to hide. A vampire. A creature of night. A blood-sucking monster. He had ruined everything.
Tal’s hand flew to her mouth. Stumbling back, she almost tripped over some cables on the carpet before hitting the wooden threshold of the door.
“What… what in the…” She swallowed, forcing herself to speak. It seemed like every single word was a stab right in her chest, causing her to choke on her tongue. “What are you?”
Was lying an option? Pretending it was but a lame joke to ease the tension? No, she wasn’t going to buy it. He had messed up. For Fuck’s sake, he had fucking messed up. Anger and hurt rose in him, forcing him to his knees. Only with all of his willpower he managed to remain as still as a statue, not moving an inch to not scare her even more.
There was no going back now. She had seen it. All of it. His sharp canines, his eerie brown and golden eyes… every lie he could come up with would be ridiculous and raise even more questions, scare her away forever.
Adam closed his eyes for a second. Slowly, he breathed in and out to make sure his appearance normalised before he spoke again.
“I’m a vampire.”
Trembling, the girl released the breath she didn’t notice she was holding. Then, she shook her head, staring at him wildly and full of defiance.
“No. No, you’re not, you can‘t be, that’s… that’s impossible. Vampires aren’t real.”
“I am real, Tallulah.”
“Is.. is that… this is why it’s always so dark in here, isn’t it? Why you work at night, why you never go out, why you never eat. Why you could take out those men with a single punch… and my ex… and you… you… you drink blood!” She shrieked hysterically, realising with a start what kind of deadly creature she had standing right in front of her.
“And i-is… is that why you took me in?” Tears were streaming down her cheeks now, torturing him with every sob that escaped her lips in between. Whether it was from fear or grief, Adam couldn’t tell. All he wanted was for her to stop, to calm down so he could comfort her, assure her that her knowing about his true being wouldn’t change anything. He snorted mutely at that. Of course it changed everything.
“Is that why you keep me in your house? W-what am I to you, a… a snack? Something you can help yourself to in case you get hungry?”
Anger? Anger. It was anger flooding through her delicious veins now, her salty tears full of rage and fighting her fear for just a second. That was good. It meant she wouldn’t lash out and loser her mind from the scare.
“It’s not why you’re here, Tal,” Adam shot back, perhaps a little more aggressive than he had intended to. This time, however, the girl didn’t flinch. She stood her ground, her chin held up high to declare she wasn’t afraid of him.
Yet she was. He could literally smell it on her soft skin, radiating off her like her natural body heat he had come to enjoy so much.
Carefully, he took a step towards her, his bare feet almost gliding over the soft and battered carpet beneath him.
“No! No! Stay away from me! Don’t you… don’t you come near me!” Tal lifted her shaking hand, pointing a finger at him. It was a pathetic attempt to keep him off, for he was a thousand times stronger and faster than she would ever be and still, he stopped dead in his tracks, remaining where he was, watching helplessly how she grabbed the jacket she had left on his couch and put it on.
Was she leaving? Where would she go?
Only when she shot him one last cold glare and then stormed downstairs into the small bedroom to grab at least some of her other belongings—a mobile phone whose bills Adam was now taking care of, her wallet containing nothing more than her ID, driving licence and an old KFC voucher—the vampire finally awoke from his rigour.
Quickly, Tal stuffed her things into a bag, making mental notes to get replacements for the few other things she would leave back here and then started at the door.
“Tal, please wait.” He was so fast the girl hadn’t even realised his presence until his hand appeared on the metal door knob, blocking her only path of escape. How did he even do that?!
“Let me go. Let me go, Adam!” It was him who flinched now, for the high-pitched tone of her voice screaming at him was a literal curse to his sensitive ears. Still, he didn’t move away; instead, he went for another try. Just one more.
“Tal… Tal, where do you want to go?”
She hadn’t thought about it yet. Adam was right, where did she want to go? Technically, she was homeless. Technically, she had nowhere to be and technically, she didn’t even possess a dollar to her name.
No. She also couldn’t stay, not with him. It was the fact he had lied to her, using her for nothing more than… for what? — rather than him being… a… a vampire.
“I don’t know. Away from you, as far away from you as possible!”
After all, she had trusted him. She had trusted a stranger when straitened, her guardian angel right from heaven and now, he turned out to be a bloody-thirsty demon in disguise like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Images of him hugging her flashed before her eyes, memories of how he had protected her. Of how he had kissed her. Had it all been a lie? A trick? A scam to feast on her at night? What if he’d already drunken from her while she was asleep? And what about all those times he had pushed her away, acted strangely when confronted with a hug or the sight of her blood? How could any of this make sense?
No. No questions. She had to leave. Her face distorted as she tore open the door, pushing him away with him letting it happen downright defencelessly, though he followed her into the small room presenting itself to the both of them, with another, heavy piece of wood blocking her route.
“Tal, wait. I never meant to scare you like this, there was a reason I didn’t tell you, please, you have to listen before—argh!” His clamouring got interrupted by a sharp pain on his right hand as he tried to force the door closed again. The girl had opened it hastily, allowing bright sun light to flood the small room and Adam’s skin connected to the beams, scourging it and almost setting it aflame as his hand began to burn like a piece of meat in a stone oven.
For just a sheer moment, Tal turned around, her eyes glistening with concern as she stared at his carbonised hand healing within mere seconds. He was hurt, was he okay? The sun had burned him. Reminded once more of why she needed to get away from this godforsaken place, she legged it, not looking back as she ran off in the broad light of day.
She didn’t know where she was headed, nor was she aware she kept crying and weeping for hours until she passed a deserted café and checked her phone for the time. It was noon. Tal was hungry and tired but most of all, she was mad. Mad for trusting yet another man so thoughtlessly, a man she had believed to be so different. He was different, in a way.
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