CW: Punishment, masochism, petplay, semi-deep emotions, slight omegaverse and a/b/o dynamic mentions
On Monday, Master casually mentioned He was free to call if we wanted to- but that He was taking care of his morning wood~ I offered to assist in such matters, being a dedicated pup, and He agreed though said we'd be in for a short session.
I asked if He didn't want to spend the time, i.e. needed to be quick, would it be okay if I used the machine with the red knot on it. He instead said we could use it then and there. We didn't have much time for prep, but at the mention of it I begged my Master:
"Please just breed me Sir. My vibrator isn't charged anyway. I've been missing you all morning. I woke up at 3:30 and spent the last nine hours just thinking about you, aching for you"
So, we set about the machine- I did use plenty of lube just to be safe, but even so the first time hurt unbelievably. Partway through I was crying into the pillow beneath me, but by the time I came... I was well used to it.
The second time around I was fiending for it, and I managed to take the knot on it without even needing any extra lube. I was barking, whining screaming. The only words I had were repeated over and over on loop between groans: "Master" "Alpha" "Breed me", over and over until eventually all I could do was whine. I came until I couldn't function for a solid minute or two, panting and drooling like a good little bitch should.
A greedy bitch, unfortunately.
I asked Master if I could continue with the machine since He had to leave. He said I could, but since I was being so greedy I wouldn't be allowed to get off it until He said so.
It took a few minutes to actually get on the thing, and when I did I regretted it almost immediately. I came twice, and the second time ended up actually physically hurting myself somewhere- I jumped off the machine in pure agony, curled up on my side screaming for a solid minute. Thankfully it doesn't appear I did any lasting damage to myself, but it was... incredibly painful.
Before my Master could respond to me, I asked my wife to come and use a crop on me. My head was still spinning from the machine, but I just kept wanting more. It wasn't a smart move.
I managed a handful of spanks with two different crops, the result was a very sore arse and an even sorer sense of guilt.
Master asked if I'd learned anything about over indulgence from the experience. I said I learned not to listen to my cunt when it's greedy, and He corrected me far more eloquently:
"You learned that what Master gives you is enough. Your master knows best. You aren’t good enough to take care of yourself. Over indulgence is a better teacher than denial."
He then gave me options for my punishment: "Now your options are to go fill a page with lines- “He gives to me plenty”, or to hop on the machine and finish what You started. You decided to ask me for a very gracious blessing and even denounced me for something ‘stronger’. As if a demon could compete with a forest spirit.. I gave you what you asked for in great abundance. Pay me in blood, tears, or devotion."
Getting back on the machine wasn't going to be an option- I was... in far too much pain, and genuinely worried I was going to do some serious damage, so I opted to fill a page with lines.
In the past, I never understood writing lines as a punishment. It seemed... pointless. With Him however, I've learned it's true purpose.
It gives me time to think. Time to consider. Time to regret; to sit and stew on my actions and not only how they affected me, but my Master as well.
My Master is a spirit of over indulgence and lust. He is a deity of the depraved. By not only wanting to continue on after our session, but going to someone else for even more was jarring to His headspace. He's made clear He's happy for me to do things with my romantic partners, but, as He so keenly put it, "I am unfazed by your pain. It’s supposed to be mine... I’m not a very good god of abundance if you need someone else to fill the gap."
I hadn't considered His perspective at the time. I was just seeking my own high. But, as I continued to write my lines in the smallest handwriting I could, I came to realise that I'd been completely inconsiderate of my dominant in that moment. I hadn't shown Him the curtesy and respect He shows me.
I felt... deeply ashamed.
I felt so ashamed, I filled the page twice- in two directions, with two different pens.
In the end, Master forgave me. We discussed the situation further, set in place more boundaries. Two days later and I'm still feeling the physical consequences of my actions as much as the emotional ones.
I appreciate His punishments. They give me the perspective a dumb mutt like me needs sometimes to appreciate my situation. I need to remember just how good He is to me. After all...