Thursday Thoughts: On multishipping and fandom toxicity
Ayoooooo — I'm back with the weekly Thursday Thoughts! Woohoo.
I got this Tell earlier this week. The anon's main question:
How do I separate the shippers (who are sometimes prone to toxic and offensive takes) from the ships themselves?
For context: I'm a fic writer, primarily for AOT/SNK and primarily (as of right now) for the eremika pairing. Lately, I've been expanding outside of that ship, even within some of my existing works. There tend to be a lot of shipping wars 🤷🏻♀️ — hence, why this person asked me this question.
I did my best to answer on Tellonym as succinctly and clearly as possible. But to elaborate on my (already lengthy) response, here's how I responded...
I separate the shippers from the ships by doing the following:
I don't participate in fandom the way I used to. I used to share a lot of my headcanons and actively engage with a lot of other writers, artists, readers, etc. I don't do that much at all anymore. I've gotten flak about it, have been told that I'm alienating other people. But this stems from me just recentering my focus on why I'm here in the first place: to write and (sometimes) share stories. My primary goal is not to make friendships (although I'm not necessarily saying I don't want to make friends, lol). I just have to protect my already limited social energy, and fandom is no longer a place where I can invest that much social energy into.
I view the characters as creative conduits for different ideas. That's it. First and foremost, I'm writing stories — most of the time, they are very character-driven. So I see these fictional characters as the means by which I can explore different themes and situations. Does that mean that (sometimes) I will reimagine them into situations that are different than in canon or even in some of the stories I've written? Yes, of course! Because these characters are the tools through which I tell my stories. Period. People have gotten really heated with me when I start to explore different ships and pairings (and even problematic situations in which I place these characters). And I recognize that's the source from which a lot of the ire comes from. But, just because I recognize why some people are triggered, that doesn't mean I'm going to change how I approach my writing and my craft.
I recognize that people are going to bring their own interpretations to characters and to texts — even if the author/creator intended the text to be read a certain way. It's kinda the beautiful part of literature — and, admittedly, one of the challenging parts too. Particularly if not everyone is coming to the discussion/interpretation with a (literary) critical lens. Bottom line: I know that literature (and I'm using the term broadly to encompass any type of medium or text that is consumed and to which someone can assign meaning) and the interpretation of literature can be highly personal. We are human, after all, so we bring our own lived experiences and thoughts to things that we consume — regardless of the intention of the author/creator. Yes, there is still the objective "truth" that the author tried to convey in the creation of their text. But, as well know, the "truth" doesn't necessarily prevent individuals from adding subtext. I think this is what happens when people conflate "headcanons" with "canon" — they are, objectively, separate things. That doesn't mean they're always treated as such, especially by people in fandom. Which brings me to my last (and most important point)...
I try my best to focus only on what I can control. In other words, I can't change how people interpret something. I can't change how people approach certain themes within what I write. I can't even control how my words and work impact other people — even though I always try to lead with the best of intentions and the goal to minimize harm. I can't control any of those things. But I can control who I interact with, what stories I write, how I use platform features (when appropriate) to protect my work and my energy from potentially harassing and toxic comments. Those are the things that I've re-centered my focus on. People are always going to call me a horrible person because some are unable to separate the stories I write from who I am as a person (that's not to say that parts of me aren't imbued in these stories — I'm just, you know, not going to waste my time trying to explain to randos on the Internet that my writing dark themes doesn't make me a "bad person"). I'm always gonna tell those people they're out of pocket and that they need to find more productive avenues in which to channel their anger and frustration, rather than harassing strangers on the Internet — but it's on those people to reconsider the harm they're causing. And it's on me to protect my energy.
And the last thing I'll say: I think it's also important to make space for my hurt. I acknowledge that, even if I do all the things I listed above to set my boundaries and protect my little corner of the Internet, I do still get bothered by a lot of things that I may read or come across — especially if the 'interpretations" are objectively rooted in something offensive (i.e. misogyny, racism, xenophobia, etc.). And I do still get weird, hateful messages every once in a while — anonymous asks and tells, comments on fics, etc. — that attempt to degrade who I am as a person because they don't like that I wrote a certain story or that I wrote a specific pairing...
Do I find that all weird? Yes. Do I get sad and hurt, even if those words aren't explicitly directed toward me? Yes.
Because reading these types of hateful words is hurtful. And it saddens me. Because I don't see the benefit behind spreading hate, and I don't like it and I try to avoid creating more harm. (Do I do that perfectly? No, because I'm human.)
Bottom line: I just have to keep doing me.
People take issue with that approach, I get it. But, honestly, I've stopped putting so much energy behind trying to understand why people do the things that they do, especially on the Internet and especially in fandom. Because I can't control them. But I can control myself.
