Soooo, we made Tokuchi and Kojima on my friends island xD
They fell in love immediately and after INTENSELY yearning for over 3 weeks (they had already moved in together) Toua finally confessed (Zoro didn't have a chance lol) and now they are a couple :)))
Toua also really likes laying around and staring at random things (toilet paper, panda, watch) and Kojima poses a lot xD
gn! reader and gn! ex - heavily inspired by ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’. I also don’t know what to tag this as other than ‘One shot’, it’s certainly not ‘Fluff’ but still.
You hear the murmurs, the laughter, clinking glasses and utensils. You continue walking around
occasionally greeting friends and acquaintances, the venue is quite nice, you admit.
Your friend had just gotten married, a sight to behold, you’re happy that the couple is happy, was the wedding something people expected? Not really, but truly, you’re just glad your friend found
happiness.
Your mind may sound like it’s trying to convince itself, but the fault does not lie with the couple,
it is the fact that they had to invite someone you did not want to see again. Is it due to bitterness? Embarrassment? Anger? Pain? you are not sure.
Perhaps you do, but it’s neither here nor there, the only thing that matters is to not see that person,
to not speak with that person, because you’re not sure how you’ll feel. What if it undoes everything you did to heal? What if it makes you fall back to your own ruin once again? No, you’re done choosing to punish yourself by going back.
You feel a tap on your shoulder and hoped it’s not who you think it is… it’s not, it almost made you want to hug your friend, but you refrain, of course. “So! How do you feel? Have you eaten yet? I specifically included food items that I know you like!”, the sentiment made you smile, that is incredibly thoughtful and it affirms that you are cared for, you are thought of, you do deserve better treatment from others.
“I feel pretty good! Once again, congratulations, you look incredibly radiant, happiness definitely makes you glow” you answered, which is true, your friend knows that as well, you’re not one to really let out compliments that you don’t think hold true. If you don’t think something, you just compliment someone by mentioning something that you do believe in.
You feel a sudden shift in the moment as your friend’s eyes focus past you, you feel the urge to look back and see what it is, but deep inside, you already knew, and you decide to stay true to your goal. “Um… so! How do you like the reception? The music is about to come on for the party people, any song requests?” you try to think about your playlist, unfortunately, the knowledge of who’s behind you bothers you too much and most of what you can hear in your brain are songs that might ruin the mood.
“It’s your day! You should get to choose, don’t mind my music taste, I’ll enjoy the atmosphere regardless” you laughed, it felt forced but it’s the best you can think of as a response. Your friend feels your discomfort that you try to disguise with courtesy, the both of you suddenly found yourselves walking away, further into the venue.
You’re not certain who walked who, but you’re just thankful that you got far enough to not worry about accidentally running into trouble. As you chat with your friend, the room dims and music is heard, you see the other half of the happy couple approaching and you gently turn your friend’s body, the two then held hands as they walked away, reaching the center of the dance floor in no time. The tenderness of their embrace tugged your heartstrings but also produced a subtle ache, you don’t want to make the day about you, but thoughts gnawed at you, countless dialogues that you worked hard to calm down.
What if you were better? What if you were attractive enough? What if you were lovable? What if you were worthy? Would that be you and the person you loved? Would you be seen as enough? Would you have found genuine connection? Why weren’t you enough?
As the thoughts progressed into what you supposedly ‘lacked’, you decide that staying would only lead to more problems, your emotions are getting more intense and you don’t want that to affect such a lovely day. You slid away from the crowd, not looking at anything or anyone but the floor, your shoes, and navigating the way to the exit.
You reached the door and moved to leave when you heard a voice behind you, calling your name in a tone that almost seemed too light, too unaffected, the familiarity made you decide, it solidified your choice.
You walked out of the venue and walked fast, away from pain, away from the cycle, away from the chosen Hell you once looked right in the eyes and embraced because you believed it was better than to be alone, than to love yourself enough to respect yourself.
The building slowly gets smaller, the rear view mirror assists you in your awareness of this fact, the moment the door to the entrance opened from the inside, you avert your eyes and sighed.
