a/n: I'm finally back on track! here's another shortie with a slight bit of spice!
same universe, medic!y/n and today Lhh
1.6k short but sweet
fluff, based on the tattoo roulette one direction video, slight spice towards the end, super mild
tw: tattoos, sex alluded, slight pain kink alluded
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always love being on James' show. I of course am not actually on it, but because whenever the boys go on they always have a small performance afterward so I get to come along with them and sit in the audience while they do whatever they need before the show. James is actually friends with all of the boys and I have had dinner with him quite a few times, not to mention Harry and I have babysat for him on a few occasions. He is a wonderfully sweet guy and truly a comedic mastermind when it comes to things like making up games for his show or anything like that. It's always a treat to see what he is going to have the boys do for him.
I was with the boys backstage in their dressing room before they were about to go on stage, just grabbing Harry's ring to place on my necklace before I went out to my seat. Harry was looking very handsome tonight in his dark blue button-up (that was not really all that buttoned) and a suit jacket. His hair was starting to get so long that he was constantly moving it out of his face now.
“Haz do you just want me to put it up?” I noticed him flipping it out of his face as I was about to leave for my seat.
“No, no, it needs to flow!” I giggled at him but agreed and went to take my seat. I was right up towards the front with a wonderful view of the boys and James sat right in front of me. Paul and Lou were on either side of me watching as well and laughing at all of their jokes. A few times Haz would look over at me and smile, doing a not-so-discreet nose scrunch at me when he moved his hair out of his face, clearly regretting not letting me put it up for him before. Finally, they had finished at his desk and went for a break before the “game” section of the show would start. While the cameras weren't rolling James walked over to say hello to me with Harry following closely behind him.
“Looking lovely tonight, y/n, as always.” I laughed and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Such a gentleman James. What do you have in store for my boys tonight?” He smiled at me and wagged a finger back and forth.
“You'll just have to wait and see like the rest of them!” The crew called them back and Haz gave me a kiss on the cheek before he went back to the stage to join the other three boys standing there nervously. As James introduced the game I swear I almost thought he was joking. It was pretty unlike James to put himself in a situation where he could actually end up doing something as crazy as getting a tattoo, but it was clear he was not joking as the boys went to stand with their boxes on the other side of the room. I could see poor Niall's hands shaking from across the room, the boy hated the idea of getting a tattoo. Most of the other boys were unbothered by the idea, Harry, Liam, and Louis had all gotten them before and at this point (especially for Harry and Louis) it would just be another to add to the growing collection. I had been with Harry when he got tattoos before, as we have a couple of matching/corresponding ones we got together and I just go with him when he gets them. It's a whole event that we get to make a fun night out of. I wouldn't necessarily say that Harry has a “pain kink” but I will say this: getting tattoos turns him on. I don’t think it's actually the pain that does it, just something about that particular feeling is very enticing to him, it's similar to the high he sometimes gets after a big show on tour. The lighting turned to red on James as he was about to open his box, and he was taking a long time.
“James?” Harry was standing right next to him trying to encourage him.
“Harold?”
“open the box” after a minute James did, in fact, open the box, to reveal the blue “safe” on the inside. The only two left were Harry and Niall. Poor Niall was becoming visibly more of a nervous wreck with each box that was opened and declared “safe”. I got Harry’s attention and attempted to sign Niall's name to him, eventually, he nodded before walking over and giving Niall a hug, trying to calm him. He whispered something in his ear though I couldn't tell what as he went back to his own box and got ready to open it. Although before I hadn't thought about it at all, now I was starting to get nervous as the red lights turned to Harry.
“Very intimidating that light.” I heard him say and he moved his hair out of his face one last time before quickly sliding open the box. My breath got caught in my throat as Niall and James both erupted in screams and the buzzer went off to confirm that Harry was the one. He looked at me with a smirk on his face and shrugged before James opened Niall's box just to be sure and the show went into another commercial break. As they did the tattoo artist was brought back on stage and Harry walked over to me.
“You want to come closer to watch?” He still had that smirk on his face and I nodded but looked closer to where the artist was setting up, there were no seats anywhere near there.
“Haz, there are no seats over there.” His smirk got even bigger and I could see the little glint in his green eyes.
“I know. I want you to sit right next to me.” For a moment I legitimately thought he was joking but then I saw James ask someone to get me a chair and suddenly there I was, sat right next to Harry on camera praying to god I didn’t look too stupid. The cameras came on with me on the other side of them this time as James asked Harry where he was going to get it.
“I'm not sure, didn't really think about that before, to be honest, what do you think y/n/n, you get the final say.” I smiled at him and pretended to think for a moment.
“There's a bit of a blank space right below our heart” He took off his jacket and one of the cameras came over to do a side by side of one of our matching tattoos, our “heart on our sleeve” we got a couple of years ago together. Just as I remembered there was a little patch of no ink below the heart, right above the crease of his elbow. We agreed it was as good a place as any and the artist went to work with Harry's arm outstretched and his other resting on my leg, squeezing occasionally. The entire time he looked right into my eyes while he was getting it and I could see his pupils get progressively larger and larger with every passing second. Something else was also getting larger and larger with every second, though I prayed I was the only one who noticed. I raised my eyebrows at him and the look he gave back to me sent a nice chill down my spine. He was finished quickly, and to my surprise, I actually liked the little tattoo added in the blank space. It was small but fitting for the mess of little tattoos around that part of his arm. His pupils were still blown when he made a joke to the camera about being a little woozy before they turned away while the boys got ready to do a song.
He was in fact a little woozy so I handed him some water to drink while I helped him with his in-ear and mic. I was fitting the linear/mic box into the back pocket of his pants while he was taking little sips of water. Liam walked over to us and made sure his mic was all set before he leaned in close to me and said,
“not the first time I've seen Harry's eyes go like that you know.” He was referring clearly to the time he walked in on me and Harry in a hotel room (inevitable when you live with that many boys and your boyfriend for so long) and I swatted away at him.
“None of that Payno! It was one time!” he was walking away and dragging Harry along with him as he responded.
“And I'll never let you lot forget it!”. They went off to do the songs they had planned on and Harry and placed his jacket back on over the tattoo. He kept his arm out relatively straight for most of the first song even while he moved the other one around so I signed to him: how's it feeling?.
He signed back to me: arms fine, something else hurts. I could feel my cheeks go bright red. I could only thank my lucky stars that they weren't doing no control tonight as they had originally planned and that we would soon be done with no after-party until tomorrow. Just a few more minutes and Harry would be dragging my arm out the door and back to our shared hotel room, hopefully, this time with no intruding band members to interrupt our fun.
I love you sm for this! an adorable little fluffy blurb is here for you, I hope you like it!
1k
tw: none!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was never exactly a fan of PDA. More than just the “oh im single and I hate couples showing their affection for one another around me” kind of thing. It was more that I was never comfortable or close enough with someone where I could get to a point in a relationship to be casually touched and not have it make my skin crawl. That was the first thing about my relationship with Harry that my friends and family noticed. The weirdest thing was, I hadn't even realized it was happening. I didn't even think to call it “PDA” , that is, until the boys started to mention it.
We were sitting on the bus together all eating dinner, take-out from some Chinese restaurant we got on the road to our next venue. Per usual we weren't having a formal sit down family dinner, just lounging about in different parts of the bus, eating and doing work, looking at emails, watching tv, just hanging about in some of the only free time that we get. Harry and I were watching friends on the couch together, cardboard containers of food in our laps.
“You smell good” His head was resting in the crook of my neck and I could feel the muscles in his jaw clenching as he ate his food. I rested my own head on top of his.
“Because of the food or because I showered?” Idle conversation. Nothing of importance, nothing out of the ordinary. But that's how we like it. Even when we are sitting close practically whispering in each other's ear, we don't generally do anything but try and be together.
“Think a bit of both. What would you do if I started calling you noodle?” I laughed and placed my close to finished container back on the table in front of us.
“Um, I’m not sure, I guess it depends on why you would call me noodle”
“Dunno, just thought it might be cute” he placed his own container on the table and we nestled into each other pulling a blanket over ourselves.
“Oh god. No. Just no.” Louis walked in and squeezed his eyes shut at the picture of the two of us on the couch. For a second it didn't even occur to me what he might have thought seeing us like that with no one else in the room.
“What? Can we not watch Tv in peace?” I picked my head off of Harry's chest for a moment to speak.
“Only if you want to be tortured endlessly for all of enternity.”
“Okay you're just jealous because you don't have someone to cuddle with. And don't even try to deny it. I know a touch starved man when I see one.” I could feel the rumble of Harry’s chest under me as he laughed.
“You know what. I have had enough of the two of you. Goodnight, I hope you both wake up with bad backs and tingling arms.” The both of us said nothing and merely looked at eachother with raised eyebrows.
Eventually we fell asleep just like that and woke up the next morning to the sound of several boys around us. As soon as I got them to dispel I tried to stand to go to the bathroom but Harry's arm locked me down.
“Haz, I need to pee.”
“Cuddle with me”
“Harry, I’ll come right back okay I promise.” I kissed his forehead and tried again, still not even budging.
“Harry.”
“I want cuddles”
“You're a child” I gave up, ignoring the urge to pee and hoped that the boys heard every single word of that conversation, maybe with enough teasing and a little bit of luck, they could set me free from the warm prison of love I had been caught in.
“Really Harold? ‘I want cuddles’” Liam mocked as he walked into the room. Harry merely ignored him and nestled his face into the crook of my neck.
“This is giving me second hand embarrassment mate i'm not gonna’ lie to ya” Niall walked in as well and sat across from the both of us. Harry picked up his head again and looked at me with bug puppy dog eyes.
“At least one person won't make fun of me” Niall burst out laughing before I started a smirk.
“Well, I don't know that I would go that far, Love, and I'm so close to pissing my pants right now that I very well may break out of the cuddle puddle you have locked me into.”
“I thought you loved me.”
“Harry?” Louis asked from a corner
“What.”
“You know you look and act like a child with a new toy when she's around ya, right?”
“And?” they all laughed at him again
“You think I'm cute right? Coz that's all that matters to me.”
“I think you're absolutely precious. Not matter what they say I wouldn't give up my cuddles for the world”
You should write more about y/n having anxiety and ticking and Harry comforting herrrr!!
You ask, and I have such a long answer!!!!!
Welcome to part one of a two-part fic all about anxiety and panic. I would like to make the disclaimer that this is purely based off of my own experience and in no way should reflect what other people do in those situations.
part two coming tomorrow!!
tw: anxiety, OCD, Panic, past relationship abuse (very briefly mention and very vague, no physical violence), medication
4.3k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 1
We had only been in LA for a couple of days so far, the beginning of two weeks there for a few shows and a little bit of “time off” where the boys were having some meetings with the label and management while they were in the area. All of the boys have apartments in LA that they bought a while back when their management and label signed to be in LA, so, while we were here we all were back at our own apartments instead of in hotels by a venue. It was sort of nice to be at “home” for a little while, even if the apartment Harry and I were sharing in LA was not nearly as homely as the one in New York or our house in London. After two days of being in the house and going out or ordering in for all of our meals, I decided it was probably high time to get some actual groceries for the fridge so that we could cook something, or even just have a snack because there was not a single morsel of food in the apartment. I had gone out by myself to do the shopping, leaving Harry at home doing god knows what because we both did not feel like being mobbed getting groceries today.
While I was deliberating over the avocados I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I slid it out to check who had texted me. I had expected it to be Harry adding something to the list, or maybe one of the boys asking if they could come for dinner, but what I found was a name I hadn’t seen or thought of in about five years. I was lucky his number hadn’t been changed because it was still in my contacts from the last time I saw him. A picture of my Ex with his dog beside him made me freeze when I realized it was real. Five years of nothing, no phone calls, no visits, no texts, no emails, no cards. He sent me a single check for a thousand dollars after leaving me with only a note left behind: for that plane ticket you got.
Of course, I had gotten over him. I went to therapy and did the work I needed and then I found Harry and eventually I forgot all of the terrible things that I went through when I was with him. I took a deep breath and threw the two avocados that I had my hands on into a produce bag without thinking about it. I shut my phone off and turned off the ringer, deciding that now was not the time to force myself to look at whatever the hell excuse he had texted me. I moved through the store getting the rest of the items on my list, moving as fast as I could in anticipation of the text, and nervousness to get back to Harry so I could ask him what he thinks about the situation. After I checked out and brought all of the groceries to the back of Harry's black SUV I moved to the driver's seat and sat there for a moment with my hands on the wheel in silence until I brought out my phone. I opened the text without hesitation and saw the barely three-sentence message that I had been panicking about for the past forty-five minutes.
Heard from your mother that you were in town, sorry for not reaching out earlier. Would love to go out for lunch tomorrow if you have the time. I should explain.
No explanation, no apology, no personal message or nickname. From the absolute lack of care or emotion in it, I would not be surprised to find out that he had told an assistant to send me something while he was running out the door to some corporate meeting. Don’t know why I expected anything different from him. I opened a text to my mother who had apparently divulged my location to the man in the first place.
y/n: Care to explain why y/e/n knows I’m in LA?
Mom: Whoops, forgot to text you about that, he heard the band was performing and wasn’t sure it was you, I merely confirmed what he already suspected.
I sighed and placed my phone on the seat beside me. No use in being mad at anyone for this, it was bound to happen eventually anyway, besides I might as well get it over with. Most likely what will happen is I’ll go to the lunch and if he decides to grace me with his presence at all, he’ll get a salad, ask polite questions, make a few misogynist jokes, pay the bill and I won’t speak to him again for another five years.
y/n: tomorrow sounds fine, I know a lunch place in midtown, I can text you the address. If you give me a time I can make the reservation.
Ex: glad you got back to me, one would be perfect for me
This time when I started the car I didn't even bother to play any music for the drive. Not like I would be able to enjoy it or sing along with all the questions now swimming in my head. Even with LA traffic the drive back to Harry and I’s apartment didn’t take much time, I had worried before that anything frozen I got would melt from the mixture of the hot LA sun and the horrible traffic that never seems to let up. When I parked the car in the garage and went to inspect the Ben and Jerrys from a bag in the trunk I was pleased to find that it was still solid in all of its glory. Usually, I would have gone in and requested Harry's help bringing things in from the car, but there were only a few bags, none of which were all that heavy. With two bags on each arm and one in my hand, I managed to walk in the door and set all of the bags on the kitchen table without too much trouble. Upon hearing the sound of the door closing behind me and the rustling of the grocery bags on the counter Harry called out my name from the couch.
“Hey baby, how was shopping” He was writing an email with his computer on his lap but reached out behind the couch to grab mine. I gave it to him and ran my hand through his hair for a second before walking back to the counter to unload all of the groceries.
“oh, it was fine. y/e/n texted me while I was there, he wanted to meet me for lunch tomorrow.” I dropped the information causally while opening and closing the cupboards in the kitchen. I must have done it well, too, because it took Harry almost a full minute to practically slam the lid of his computer down and turn 180 on the couch so that he was facing me.
“he did what?” I shrugged, avoiding eye contact and placing the bananas in a bowl on the edge of the counter.
“asked me to go for lunch with him tomorrow. Said he wanted to ‘explain’”
“and what did you say?”
“I told him yes.” He was quiet for a moment before he placed his computer on the couch cushion next to him and rose from the dark grey square he was sitting on, sauntering over to me and standing directly behind me, trapping me against the counter. What I expected to be a look of jealousy or anger was nothing but a calm and worried stare. Once my belly was pressed into the white granite of the kitchen island he came even closer and wrapped his arms around my middle, arching his back slightly to place his head on my shoulder right at the crook of my neck. I took both of my hands and placed them over his crossed arms around my stomach, not trying to pry him off, but just resting them there for some show of what he was doing. He kissed my neck once tenderly before moving his head up to be resting on top of my own.
“are you sure that’s a good idea?” I knew what he was talking about but a part of me felt like playing the long game.
“what do you mean?” He was patient and still while he responded, not a hint of annoyance at my unwillingness to get to the point of the matter.
“going to lunch with him, are you sure that’s a good idea, especially after what happened the last few times you saw him.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” He groaned by my head and flipped me around so that his arms were still around me, but now my back was pressed against the island and my hands were resting on his forearms.
“y/n/n… at least let me come with you.” I shook my head adamantly and tightened my grip on his arms.
“no. no, this is something I need to do by myself. I need to show him that I’m not some weak little girl he can push around anymore.” Harry brushed a stray bit of hair from my face and tilted his head down so that he could look me in the eye.
“baby, you don’t need to prove anything to him. If anything he is the one that should be proving something to you. He practically pushed you into a nervous breakdown love, just after-“
“I don’t want to talk about that.” I wrenched myself out of his arms when I started to feel myself getting shaky and nervous at the mere mention of what had happened the last time I was near that man. Normally I can talk about anything with Harry. He makes me feel safe and loved, and he has never once pushed me past what he knows I feel uncomfortable with. He waits and pays attention until he knows that I can talk about something without it being scary or nerve-wracking. But this was the one thing. This was just something I didn’t talk about, hell I tried not to even think about it after it was finished. I stormed off into our bedroom knowing that he wasn’t far behind. The second I got there I couldn’t help but think about the event Harry had unknowingly brought up. I had told him once in passing what had happened that day, but I never really explained how much of an impact it had on me. I crumbled on the floor just in front of the bed and slid until my head was in my hands which were resting on my bent knees pointing towards the sky. Tears started to fall down my face and dribble all the way to my crooked elbows. I could faintly hear the distant sound of Harry's footfalls coming up the stairs and down the hallway to our room, but I was too lost to the world now to think about what that meant or do anything to change how I looked or felt. Our oak door creaked as he pushed it open, I hadn’t even latched the door closed when I came in so quickly and fell to the floor. He took one hesitant step into the room and then stopped.
“I’m sorry” he whispered, sounding guilty, it wasn’t really his fault, I think he just wasn’t sure what happened. In Harry's mind, any time anyone cries near him or in front of him, it’s worth an apology. Maybe not one on his behalf, but on behalf of whoever hurt them.
“it wasn’t you.” I sniffled out and kept my head in my hands, nervously running my hands through my hair in an effort to keep my frantic fidgeting at bay. He took a few more steps into the room and then slid down onto the floor next to me, careful not to touch me just in case it would make things worse.
“Do you need me to do something?” I shook my head and tried to focus on the movements I could do, tapping my leg, cracking my knuckles, running my hand through my hair. Any little movement that I could do without actually standing up to move and alarming Harry was what I was doing.
“Can I give you a hug?” I shook my head again. I tried not to feel bad about it, I’m sure he knew and understood why I couldn’t have a hug right now, but still, I felt a little bad for rejecting something I normally craved so much. When I’m panicking within myself so much like this, trapped within a flood of thoughts and emotions in my own mind, the feeling and even the thought of being physically trapped in someone's arms is nauseating.
“Do you want to try taking a walk?” He had started to notice how I was not just shaking with nerves but shaking with a need, an intent.
“no. Maybe. I don’t know” There were so many things happening in my brain all at once that I couldn’t figure out what to address first. All of the questions he proposed just added to the clutter and confusion even though he meant to help. He stopped asking me questions and just sat next to me for a minute. At first, I appreciated the silence he was giving me. It made my brain feel a little less cluttered like I had more room to figure out what thought to focus on first. That didn’t last long though. After a few minutes of scouring my thoughts to find something to start with, my own brain became a battle zone of crossing wires and half-finished arguments with myself that will never even come to fruition. My breathing picked up, as did my fidgeting. I was practically vibrating from all of my little movements and hyperventilation. I could feel the veins in my neck start to stand out from the strain of breathing, my head was pounding and the only sound I could hear was the rushing of blood in my ears.
“y/n/n?” He turned to face me dead on when he saw my chest rising and falling faster than I could control. I was so deep in my own mind and lost in the sound of the blood rushing to my head that I didn’t hear or respond to him. He moved, still being careful not to touch me, so that he was facing me, kneeling on the carpet half a foot in front of me. He could see my skin begin to get paler and paler with the lack of oxygen staying in my body.
“y/n you need to breathe” it went on like that for a minute. He pleaded with me to calm down, tried to count with me, name the things around us, played music, sang to me, anything he could think of to get me to even out my breaths in the hope that eventually I would calm myself down and tire myself out enough to fall asleep. But none of it worked. Half of the things he said didn’t even reach me because of how loud it was inside of my own brain, the other half just were slightly depressing attempts at distracting me for long enough to figure something else out. Finally, he gave up the natural tries.
“I really don’t want you to pass out so I’m going to go get the meds baby.” I couldn’t speak enough to protest so I figured he must be right. I hated being medicated, but I think I would hate passing out in front of him even more, so the lesser of two evils I suppose. He got up and walked calmly to the door, but the second he was out into the hall I could hear his footsteps become more frantic. Less than two minutes later I heard his feet on the floor again as he rushed back into the room. Again I heard his feet slow the second he got into the room, not wanting to scare me any more than I already was. He kneeled a little closer to me this time, holding a small pill and a glass of water in his large hands.
“Do you need help taking it?” I shook my head and held out a hand. He dropped the small white pill into my palm first, waiting for me to toss it into the back of my mouth before handing me the glass of cold water that I took a swig from. Once the pill was down and the glass of water had been drained I timidly held out a shaky hand while I waited for the medicine to take effect. Harry looked down at my shaking hand for a moment before taking it in his own and kissing it. He didn’t say anything, but continued to hold my hand in his much larger one until about ten minutes went by and I gave his hand three strong squeezes.
“you good? Is it working?” I nodded
“yeah. Yeah, it's definitely moving along” He let go of my hand in order to stand, and then once he was standing he handed me a pair of shorts and his t-shirt from his side of the bed. My hands were still a little shaky and the drug had almost taken full effect so he helped me slide my jeans and sweater off and then slide his giant shirt over my head and shoulders. Once I was dressed he held out both of his hands for me to take.
“mmm, nope, think you’ll need to carry me.” I mumbled sleepily and looked up at him with a sheepish smile.
“really? Worked that quick? All right then.” He crouched down to take me into his arms and did so with little effort. I slung my hands around the back of his neck and tried not to go completely limp in his arms. That was the thing I hated about the medication so much. Although it certainly calms me down enough to make the panic attack stop, it also means that it shuts down my body and brain in the process. He carefully lowered me onto the bed and helped me slide myself under our blankets. He took my glasses off of my head and folded them, placing them on the bedside table to my right. As he was about to walk away I grabbed his hand.
“don’t go. Please.” He smiled down at me and gave my hand a few squeezes.
“not going anywhere baby, I promise.” I reluctantly let go of his hand and he stripped himself of his remaining clothes before climbing into the bed beside me in only his boxers. Once we were side by side in the bed he pulled me into him so that I was nuzzled into his chest with his arms wrapped all the way around me.
“he really fucked me up, huh.” He gave an airy laugh into my head that was sadder than anything else.
“eh, maybe a little. Are you going to tell me why?” I waited a minute and listened to his heartbeat under my head, considering my options before spilling all my tales of woe. I could just stay silent, close my eyes and pretend that I had fallen asleep. Or I could change the subject ask him what he did today, but I doubt he would fall for that one. Or I suppose I could just tell him the truth. Maybe that was just the medication talking but for some reason that seemed like the decision I was leaning towards.
“Soph?”
“hmm?” I hummed into his chest, still considering my options carefully.
“are you going to tell me what happened with him?” I sighed. The third option it is.
“yeah, yeah, just don’t know where to start really. I guess it started when we first got together, I just never noticed how sad I was until he left. I guess a part of me always knew that what he was doing wasn't right, I just couldn't do anything about it. Until I started talking with y/bff/n again and realized how much of an idiot I had been to let him convince me that everything he did was my fault. I held some weird reverence for him even when he let me down time after time.” Harry started to run a hand through my hair. I felt weirdly distant from the story that at any other moment would have sent me spiraling into a panic attack, the joys of antidepressants I suppose.
“once I realized how fucked up it all was I tried to confront him about it. Not just him and how horrible he was, how much pain he caused me, but just how this one person managed to create some irreparable rift inside myself to the point where I was practically doing his work for him. When I decided to leave him I hadn't told anyone.Not that I didn't want to, just that I felt it had to be my decision, I had to be the one to leave, to take something from him for once. The first thing he did was refuse to leave. He said that I was being too tough and that he would never do things like that. I tried to explain how I had been feeling, I thought that maybe the part of him I had fallen in love with so long ago would understand. And then suddenly I couldn't breathe. Not because he had touched me but because he had gotten so, so close to it. I don't know what stopped him that night but I didn't care. Eventually he put his hand back down to his side. He slept on the couch but I was so shocked I didn't even think to call the police, or my mom, or anyone, I just went to bed. The next morning was strangely calm, I spent as little time with him as I possibly could, and then just before he left he started talking some shit in the kitchen within earshot of me and I sort of lost it.” He stayed quiet through my story, every once in a while moving his large hands to rub some other part of me, but just staying calm and still like he was afraid any movement would scare me off.
“I don’t remember everything that was said, but I do remember that I was crying, my hands were shaking, he was laughing at me, I called him an asshole to his face about three times, by the end of it I was shaking with what I thought at first was rage. But it wasn’t.” He spoke for the first time,
“it was a panic attack.” I nodded into his warm chest and took a deep breath to remind myself that I could.
“yeah. It wasn’t my first ever, but I hadn’t really thought it was in issue yet. So basically he ended up causing me to go into a manic state that I had no one to help me with and then he left. We didn’t talk again except for that note he left in the kitchen. Not until a few months later. He showed up at my college graduation which I was terrified of as it was, and effectively told me that it was my fault he left. I blamed myself for all of that anyway so him telling me that in my mind just solidified it.”
“you know that wasn’t-“
“I know, I know, but I was young and terrified and upset. I was dealing with OCD and Anxiety, and ADHD all on my own without anyone to help me, I was newly on my own, I didn’t have a boyfriend, I had maybe one or two close friends, I was barely speaking to my family, so I believed him because I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Then why would you go tomorrow? Why would you put yourself through that pain? When he has already hurt you just from the memory?” He was trying very hard not to sound upset, I could tell, but his words showed it anyways. I took a hand and stroked his arm while I explained to him.
“ I need to prove to myself that I’m not that person anymore. I need to show him that he’s in the wrong, or maybe make some peace with what happened.” He was quiet for another moment until he took my hand in his.
“Then at least let me come with you.”
“No. This is something I have to do by myself. I love you and I am so happy that I have someone like you to support me like this, but I need to learn how to be strong for myself sometimes. Besides, I made the lunch close enough to soundcheck that if anything happens I can just make the excuse that I need to get to work and I can leave and go straight to you.”
“I'm just worried.”
“I know. So am I. But I promise I will keep my phone on and I will text you every chance I get and then when I leave I will go straight to sound check so I can see you and the boys. I’ll be okay.”
“you promise?”
“promise” We were both silent for a few more minutes until my breathing evened out and slowed, my eyes closing from the toll of a panic attack and heavy medication. As I started to fall asleep with his heartbeat in my ears and my arms wrapped around him I heard his sleepy voice murmur in my ear.
could you do a blurb where harry gets bus sick and y/n babies himmmmn
Hell yeah, I can!!! thank you so much for being the first ask I have received, I hope you like it!!!
tw: vomit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Harry, we have a five-hour drive ahead of us, are you absolutely sure that you don't want to take something just in case?” He looked at me as if he were offended by my caution.
“Absolutely sure, I have not gotten car sick or bus sick since I was like a baby!”
-----
And boy did we both regret that choice later on. The drive itself was beautiful, the lovely English countryside and only a little bit of highway at all. The smell of vomit, however, was very much, not lovely.
“Haz?” I knocked on the door of the bus bathroom again but heard only the sad sounds of retching behind it.
“Harry? Sweetheart just let me in so I can help you” A muffled groan came out before a dramatic,
“I can't let you see me like this, I'm disgusting!” A sigh came from every single person on the bus. Paul walked up to the back and tried his hand at getting him to open up the door.
“Harry, I'll give you three minutes before this lock is coming off” another sigh, this time only from me.
“You wouldn't dare!” he mumbled still on the other side. Eventually, once the retching had quieted and the faucet could be heard along with an ungodly amount of gurgling, he unlocked the door, but still didn't come out.
“Soph?” I had been sitting on the couch just next to the door, waiting for him to say something for about thirty minutes now.
“Right here baby”
“You can come in now” I quickly gathered myself and all of the necessary supplies and dove into the bathroom before he could refuse me entry once again. He was sitting on the floor in the cramped space, knees up to accommodate his long legs and his head resting on them, facing me. I placed the large jug of ginger ale that I had brought underneath the sink and sank down next to him on the floor. Gently I scooted closer until our sides were touching and mirrored his image exactly so that we were face to face. I'll have to admit his breath was atrocious but all I cared about was that he was sick and had finally let me help him. Still with my head on my knees and facing him, I moved one hand to brush the sweaty hair out of his eyes.
“Thanks”
“Anything for you, rockstar” He let out a dry chuckle but then went silent again, a dark shadow passing over his face as blood rushed to his ears and-
“Out”
“Harry, this is not the first time that I have seen someone puke, just let me help you” I'm sure he would have responded with something embarrassing for the both of us in order to get me out of the room, but he had no time to speak before lurching forward and grasping the sides of the toilet with his clammy hands. Right away I was kneeling beside him, rubbing his back with on hand and frantically grabbing at the headband I had brought with me to hold his hair back. The second he gained reprieve from his heaving I slid the band on and pushed it up so that I could at least see his face. There were drops of tears in his eyes from the effort and an uncontrollable frown made its way onto my face.
“My poor boy” he leaned back again, heaving gone for the moment.
“I feel like shit”
“I know baby, I'm so sorry. But I'm here now, I'll make it go away”
“Do you still love me even though I'm gross and I threw up in front of you?” I laughed and sank back down next to him with a toothbrush in my hand.
“Always and forever, love” he began brushing his teeth as I pulled out a plastic cup with ginger ale and a small packet of crackers before he could take some medicine. With the toothbrush still in his mouth, he brought his green eyes into the perfect puppy dog stare.
“Even though I didn't listen to you and I should have?” I laughed again and kissed his forehead
A/N: I’m finally back!!! I had to leave for a while to focus on ending the year strong but I am now back and hoping to post every-other day until I am done with the requests in my inbox!
~~~~~
1.9k
Tw: sickness, slight angst, fluff at the end
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now anyone in or out of health care knows this one little fact. Men are absolute babies when it comes to being sick. By now I was used to it. The “y/n my stomach hurts, i’m going to die!!” and the *sniffle* *cough* “are you okay?” “oh my god, yes i’m fine why would you even say that!” To be honest most of the time I ignore fifty percent of their complaining, treat their symptoms and by the next morning they are fine. But every once in a while they aren’t being dramatic.
“Mhhh” Even from the opposite side of the bus I could hear him groaning in his sleep.
“Niall?” no response. It couldn’t be that he was sleeping and making those noises at the same time.
“Uhhh “ Alright so maybe he was. We had been driving for about ten hours when Niall fell to the bug. I had been doing my best to keep it from the boys but somehow despite my best efforts, it made it through. He was the first so far, but probably not the last. If one boy gets sick, the others always get it. The bug had been moving quickly through the crew staff, hitting at least three people a week. My once solitary and quiet med bus was now full to the brim with groaning patients. The other unfortunate side effect of this; I couldn’t no longer sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend. Well, at least not until this infection is out of the way and I’m not scared of him getting sick.
I walked out of the back rooms to see Niall passed out on the med bay couch, face down and groaning louder than a truck horn in his sleep. I had seen Niall sick before. Hell I’ve had to wipe vomit off of his face before, but this shit was brutal. And I won’t lie, the toll of not being able to escape it at all for the past few weeks has been getting to me. My sleep is constantly interrupted by alarms on my phone going off to remind me to check everyone on the bus, refill their fluids, check their temperatures, and administer medication if needed. I haven’t been able to talk to my boyfriend in weeks for longer than five minutes. At this point I was almost praying to get the virus just to have a week off. Except maybe without the fever, and then sore throat, and the nausea. So maybe not.
“Ni” I shook his shoulder lightly to attempt to wake him up. Nothing.
“Niall” Again, nothing. I could only be grateful that right now he was the only one sick. Finally with a big snort and a flip onto his back his cloudy eyes opened.
“Hey bud, how ya feeling?” He groaned once more and shut his cloudy eyes.
“Nope. None of that. I know you’re going to hate me but it’s time for more meds.” Nothing but another groan.
An hour or two later we finally found ourselves at a hotel, a wayside stop for a few days until everyones feeling better and the boys are able to perform. The second we got off the bus- me with several bags of medical supplies along with my actual suitcase, and Niall with a single backpack underneath the blanket he had wrapped around himself like a cloak- Harry came up to me with a frown on his face.
“Long time no see love bug” He moved in to kiss me but I gently placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back a step.
“I will not get you sick. Remember how bad it was last time? No way. I love you, but no.” He pouted like a child being told no and hung his head.
“Baby, I promise the second Ni is better we’ll be spending all day together, we just have to be careful, that’s all” while his head was still facing down I thread my fingers through his hair and gave his scalp a little massage. After I was done speaking I gave him a light kiss on his head.
“Now come on, let’s get inside so we can all get our keys and go to bed, Okay?” Still pouting, he nodded at me and continued in without saying another word.
~~~~
Once we were all inside Paul was standing at the desk waiting with keycards in his hands to give us our rooms. He started with the crew and then once they had all filed off to their rooms he gave the other boys their room keys. Lastly, he handed one to me. The last one.
“Sorry y/n they’d only give me one key for the both of you” Harry standing with the other boys around me walked forward.
“Don’t know what you mean Paul, I’ve got the other key right here?” I signed and turned to face him.
“Haz-”
“Oh. you’ll be sharing a room with Niall then, won’t you.”
“Yes. I need to keep an eye on him tonight make sure his fever doesn’t come back-”
“Whatever” I took a step back, feeling the lash of his tone on me. Did he really think this was fun for me? This is my job, the whole reason I get to be here touring with him in the first place, it doesn’t just suddenly disappear whenever he wants it to. I took a deep breath. It’s fine. He’s just frustrated, just like I am, that’s all. This cant be easy for him either.
“We might not be able to share a room tonight but I do hope you’ll still come say goodnight before you go to sleep?” I tried to reach out a hand and was coldy rejected.
“Maybe. I wouldn’t want to disturb the both of you.” I made a surprised scoff and looked over at Niall who was standing behind me with an equally surprised look on his face. Before I would even respond, he was off to the elevators without aso much as a look behind him.
~~~~
After a few hours of television watching and unpacking in our hotel room it was time for Niall’s least favorite activity. Taking his meds.
“Niall?” I found him again face down on one of the beds in the room, not asleep this time, just hiding from the light.
“No. I won’t do it this time.”
“Hate to tell you but I have dealt with non-compliant patients before and usually it ends up worse for them than it does for me.” He dramatically flipped over and layed starfish on the bed for a moment before slowly pulling himself up to a sitting position.
Twenty minutes after he had taken his meds, like always with Niall; he began to groan my name while I was attempting to take a shower for a moment of peace. Like any good physician I ignored the first two and after not hearing a third, went out to check on him.
“Ni? Are you okay?” He was in a fetal position with his eyes closed taking deep breaths.
“Puke. definitely going to puke.” I cringed a little and grabbed one of the anti-nausea meds from my bag.
“Here. Put it under your tongue, it should work pretty quick.” He did as I said and continued groaning. In a moment of pity I grabbed my book and hopped onto the bed beside him.
“What-”
“If you’re going to be miserable it’s the least I can do to not make you be alone” I moved up on the bed and patted my lap with one hand.
“Come on, you big baby” He placed his head on my lap and I opened my book, beginning to read from the page I had dogeared. Not twenty minutes later Niall was fast asleep and I left him laying with his head on my lap as I read my book in peaceful silence. Peaceful that is until a certain someone knocked on the door.
“You can come in Harry, it’s unlocked.” He stepped in and right away turned what looked like a sorrowful- even remorseful- look, into one of pure fire.
“Really, y/n”
“Haz- ” I didn’t get the chance to say another word before he was out of the room and walking quickly down the hall. I carefully untangled myself from Niall- who by some grace of god was still asleep- and chased Harry down the hall.
“Harry!” I grabbed his arm and he pulled away.
“Get away f’me”
He continued walking down the hall, and I almost let him until I snapped.
“Harry Edward Styles don’t you dare act like a child and walk away from me right now!” He stopped in his tracks at the tone in my voice but didn’t turn around.
“Do you think that this is fun for me? Not being able to see you at all for weeks, having to stay away from everyone and anyone just in case I could get them sick. Having to constantly be on call and working for days at a time?”
Now he turned around.
“While you have been out there, acting like a pouting child with the rest of your friends I have been trying to make poor Niall feel even the slightest bit better!” I paused for a breath. “So don’t you dare try and make me feel bad about comforting our friend. Dont. you. Dare!”
I realized then that a few tears of exhaustion and frustration had slipped down my cheeks. I swiped them off and waited in buzzing quiet as he walked toward me. His head was facing the ground when he finally got over to me.
“Im stupid.” he finally said in a small voice. He reached out and put both his hands on my arms, still respecting the distance I wished to maintain, but allowing some sort of comforting touch for the both of us.
“Yeah, you have been.”
“Does it help if I say that I’m sorry and I never should have acted like a child because you were just helping Niall?”
“Of course it helps Harry”
“Are you still mad at me?”
“I mean, a little. You acted like a douche.” he let out a disappointed huff, but still nodded in agreement.
“Are you mad enough that we should talk about it more before we both go to bed?” I thought for a minute but the second I looked up at his cinnamon roll curls I knew the answer. I let out a dramatic sigh and opened my arms.
“No. come here” after a hug that the both of us had been waiting for over weeks, he released me and gave me a short kiss on the top of my head.
“Goodnight love.”
“Goodnight.”
So finally I made it back to my room, turned out the lights and settled into my own bed. It was colder without him in it.
~~~~~
“y/n/n” someone whispered in my ear and I jumped awake. Harry stood over me pale and looking half dead.
“Oh no. oh god no. you’ve got it don’t you.” he did a slight nod before throwing off his shoes and jumping into the bed with me. One part of my brain went warm, comfy. The other was screaming expletives at him and myself for not being more careful. He nestled up next to me and placed his head in the crook of my shoulder.
a/n: so this was definitely later than I meant it to be! Sorry, I totally disappeared for a while, but I'm back now and here to stay! I have posts scheduled for every other day for the next couple of weeks so stay tuned for some good times!!
same universe with Medic!y/n
1.4k (a shortie) fluff, comfort, humor, behind the scenes of Milan movie shooting
tw: headaches?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The planning of this tour and the filming in Milan had been in the works for a very long time. From before we had even left for tour we knew that one of the shows would be filmed and made into a short movie, it was about three months before we left for tour (fourth months before the concert in Milan) that we found out which one exactly was being filmed. Normally, while all the other staff gets worried when the boys are messing around during rehearsals I take it in stride. I never have any issue with them goofing around because I know that in the end they always get the job done and do wonderfully. That is, except for the week leading up to the filmed show. I hadn't expected it to be any different in my mind than any other, but the thing is, even if it was the same as any other show on tour in my mind, the reality was just so much different.
With the amount of extra work I had to put in so that everything was perfect, not to mention the amount of work I was helping everyone else with and my regular jobs on tour, I was starting to go crazy. The boys had noticed how busy I was a few days before we got to Milan. While they were all enjoying themselves like usual on the bus I was working the entire time. It wasn't too bad just yet though, I was still sure everything would be fine, I wasn't too stressed or concerned, more just busy with all of the different things I was trying to arrange. That all changed once we actually made it to Milan and had three days to set up for the filming of the show. My general busyness turned into sleepless nights staying up working and days full of more work and more stress. By the time we had gotten to the day before the concert, almost everything was set up, but I had barely slept in two days and had only eaten a muffin with my coffee this morning. The stress of it all was starting to get to me and suddenly even the large amount of caffeine I was drinking couldn't keep the raging migraine I felt at bay. I was chewing on my cheek in pain while everyone walked around the venue casually. There were no rehearsals or interviews or anything today, we all agreed that it would be better just to have the day “off” and hang out at the venue, fixing anything we needed to and living for the moment in the calm before the storm. Even though there was no real work to do I still was walking all around the venue through my migraine, looking around and triple checking every bit of equipment I found on my walk. Harry jogged up from behind me and snaked his arms around my waist, placing his head on my shoulder as I rubbed my head.
“You all right love? I can feel the stress coming off of you.” I moved my hands to be on his and turned around so that my face was in his chest.
“Stress? What stress?” He laughed and kissed the top of my head before holding me out at arm's length and taking my hand. He could see clearly in my face that I was in pain and his eyebrows knit tightly together.
“How about you and I go to the bus and take a quick nap, huh? You look like you could use it.”
“I don't know Haz, there's a lot I have to check and make sure-” he stopped me by pulling me along by the hand towards the bus.
“Haz really, I don't think-” He stopped pulling me as we entered the part of the venue where our bus is parked and turned around to look at me. He took both of my hands in his again.
“y/n, look at me. You've done great, you have already triple-checked everything and it's all going to go amazingly, now I can see by the look in your eyes you haven't slept and you probably have a raging migraine so just let me take care of you for once yeah?” I sighed but let him lead me onto the bus. He was right, I had checked everything dozens of times and I did have a migraine. I sat down on the couch in the main part of the bus and Haz went to get me a glass of water and some painkillers. By the time he got back to me with both in hand, I felt like my head was about to explode. All the stress and exhaustion and pain of the past week finally got to me. Seconds after I took the pills I let out a tear.
“Hey, hey, what's wrong?” I started blubbering like a baby into his chest.
“My head hurts, and I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and there is so much to do and-” I went on and on for a few minutes before I finally calmed down. I wasn't crying anymore, though I had practically thrown myself into Harry. My head still hurt horribly, the painkillers hadn't even made a dent.
“What can I do love?” he asked me softly and stroked my hair. I shrugged into him.
“I'm so tired Haz, but I can't sleep because my damn head hurts so bad.” he continued to run his hands through my hair and then he moved so that we were laying down on the couch, I was curled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, placing kisses on my forehead. He kept on stroking my hair for about an hour but still, I couldn't fall asleep because of how much my head hurt. I was crying again now, not dramatically like before, just a constant stream of silent tears because I was so tired and my head hurt so much. Finally, Harry decided to do his last-ditch effort at helping me go to sleep. He took off his shirt so that my face was now flush against his chest, he placed my weighted blanket over the two of us, had one hand rubbing my back, the other stroking my hair, and then he began to sing. It wasn't something I had heard before. Might have just been something he was making up on the spot. I couldn't tell you what the words were but it had a sweet soft melody. It still took a little bit of that for me to fall asleep but when I did he could feel the tension leave my body and my breaths slow. He still didn't stop stroking my hair or singing, he kept going just in case it would wake me if he stopped.
When the boys walked in an hour later to grab some things from the bus Harry frantically waved one hand at them, trying to get them off the bus. Finally, one of them saw me asleep under the big blanket, clinging to Harry's bare chest, and told the others to shut up.
“Took me nearly three full hours to get her to sleep!” Harry whispered to them as they all sat down on the couch opposite us.
“Jesus mate what was she on, cocaine?” Louis laughed and a few of the other boys along with him.
“Oi! She's been working her adorable little ass off so that everything goes good for our dumb asses tomorrow night.” Harry said louder than he meant to and then when I stirred a little though not waking up he hummed a little of the song from before.
“Just behave now, would you? At least until tomorrow night?” they all nodded at him.
“Sorry little las.” Louis whispered to me even though I was asleep. The other boys all left the bus quietly, promising to behave themselves and not cause any more stress for me. Eventually, even though it was early we didn't have to get up tomorrow Harry decided that my sleep just looked so comfortable he might try it himself. He pulled me closer to him and placed his head on top of mine and within minutes the both of us were passed out in the parking lot of the biggest venue we had ever been to. But it was still just the same old us, asleep on the same old bus, the only difference being a bit of a headache.
a/n: I'm finally back on track! here's another shortie with a slight bit of spice!
same universe, medic!y/n and today Lhh
1.6k short but sweet
fluff, based on the tattoo roulette one direction video, slight spice towards the end, super mild
tw: tattoos, sex alluded, slight pain kink alluded
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always love being on James' show. I of course am not actually on it, but because whenever the boys go on they always have a small performance afterward so I get to come along with them and sit in the audience while they do whatever they need before the show. James is actually friends with all of the boys and I have had dinner with him quite a few times, not to mention Harry and I have babysat for him on a few occasions. He is a wonderfully sweet guy and truly a comedic mastermind when it comes to things like making up games for his show or anything like that. It's always a treat to see what he is going to have the boys do for him.
I was with the boys backstage in their dressing room before they were about to go on stage, just grabbing Harry's ring to place on my necklace before I went out to my seat. Harry was looking very handsome tonight in his dark blue button-up (that was not really all that buttoned) and a suit jacket. His hair was starting to get so long that he was constantly moving it out of his face now.
“Haz do you just want me to put it up?” I noticed him flipping it out of his face as I was about to leave for my seat.
“No, no, it needs to flow!” I giggled at him but agreed and went to take my seat. I was right up towards the front with a wonderful view of the boys and James sat right in front of me. Paul and Lou were on either side of me watching as well and laughing at all of their jokes. A few times Haz would look over at me and smile, doing a not-so-discreet nose scrunch at me when he moved his hair out of his face, clearly regretting not letting me put it up for him before. Finally, they had finished at his desk and went for a break before the “game” section of the show would start. While the cameras weren't rolling James walked over to say hello to me with Harry following closely behind him.
“Looking lovely tonight, y/n, as always.” I laughed and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Such a gentleman James. What do you have in store for my boys tonight?” He smiled at me and wagged a finger back and forth.
“You'll just have to wait and see like the rest of them!” The crew called them back and Haz gave me a kiss on the cheek before he went back to the stage to join the other three boys standing there nervously. As James introduced the game I swear I almost thought he was joking. It was pretty unlike James to put himself in a situation where he could actually end up doing something as crazy as getting a tattoo, but it was clear he was not joking as the boys went to stand with their boxes on the other side of the room. I could see poor Niall's hands shaking from across the room, the boy hated the idea of getting a tattoo. Most of the other boys were unbothered by the idea, Harry, Liam, and Louis had all gotten them before and at this point (especially for Harry and Louis) it would just be another to add to the growing collection. I had been with Harry when he got tattoos before, as we have a couple of matching/corresponding ones we got together and I just go with him when he gets them. It's a whole event that we get to make a fun night out of. I wouldn't necessarily say that Harry has a “pain kink” but I will say this: getting tattoos turns him on. I don’t think it's actually the pain that does it, just something about that particular feeling is very enticing to him, it's similar to the high he sometimes gets after a big show on tour. The lighting turned to red on James as he was about to open his box, and he was taking a long time.
“James?” Harry was standing right next to him trying to encourage him.
“Harold?”
“open the box” after a minute James did, in fact, open the box, to reveal the blue “safe” on the inside. The only two left were Harry and Niall. Poor Niall was becoming visibly more of a nervous wreck with each box that was opened and declared “safe”. I got Harry’s attention and attempted to sign Niall's name to him, eventually, he nodded before walking over and giving Niall a hug, trying to calm him. He whispered something in his ear though I couldn't tell what as he went back to his own box and got ready to open it. Although before I hadn't thought about it at all, now I was starting to get nervous as the red lights turned to Harry.
“Very intimidating that light.” I heard him say and he moved his hair out of his face one last time before quickly sliding open the box. My breath got caught in my throat as Niall and James both erupted in screams and the buzzer went off to confirm that Harry was the one. He looked at me with a smirk on his face and shrugged before James opened Niall's box just to be sure and the show went into another commercial break. As they did the tattoo artist was brought back on stage and Harry walked over to me.
“You want to come closer to watch?” He still had that smirk on his face and I nodded but looked closer to where the artist was setting up, there were no seats anywhere near there.
“Haz, there are no seats over there.” His smirk got even bigger and I could see the little glint in his green eyes.
“I know. I want you to sit right next to me.” For a moment I legitimately thought he was joking but then I saw James ask someone to get me a chair and suddenly there I was, sat right next to Harry on camera praying to god I didn’t look too stupid. The cameras came on with me on the other side of them this time as James asked Harry where he was going to get it.
“I'm not sure, didn't really think about that before, to be honest, what do you think y/n/n, you get the final say.” I smiled at him and pretended to think for a moment.
“There's a bit of a blank space right below our heart” He took off his jacket and one of the cameras came over to do a side by side of one of our matching tattoos, our “heart on our sleeve” we got a couple of years ago together. Just as I remembered there was a little patch of no ink below the heart, right above the crease of his elbow. We agreed it was as good a place as any and the artist went to work with Harry's arm outstretched and his other resting on my leg, squeezing occasionally. The entire time he looked right into my eyes while he was getting it and I could see his pupils get progressively larger and larger with every passing second. Something else was also getting larger and larger with every second, though I prayed I was the only one who noticed. I raised my eyebrows at him and the look he gave back to me sent a nice chill down my spine. He was finished quickly, and to my surprise, I actually liked the little tattoo added in the blank space. It was small but fitting for the mess of little tattoos around that part of his arm. His pupils were still blown when he made a joke to the camera about being a little woozy before they turned away while the boys got ready to do a song.
He was in fact a little woozy so I handed him some water to drink while I helped him with his in-ear and mic. I was fitting the linear/mic box into the back pocket of his pants while he was taking little sips of water. Liam walked over to us and made sure his mic was all set before he leaned in close to me and said,
“not the first time I've seen Harry's eyes go like that you know.” He was referring clearly to the time he walked in on me and Harry in a hotel room (inevitable when you live with that many boys and your boyfriend for so long) and I swatted away at him.
“None of that Payno! It was one time!” he was walking away and dragging Harry along with him as he responded.
“And I'll never let you lot forget it!”. They went off to do the songs they had planned on and Harry and placed his jacket back on over the tattoo. He kept his arm out relatively straight for most of the first song even while he moved the other one around so I signed to him: how's it feeling?.
He signed back to me: arms fine, something else hurts. I could feel my cheeks go bright red. I could only thank my lucky stars that they weren't doing no control tonight as they had originally planned and that we would soon be done with no after-party until tomorrow. Just a few more minutes and Harry would be dragging my arm out the door and back to our shared hotel room, hopefully, this time with no intruding band members to interrupt our fun.