Stiles Stilinski/ Teen wolf Masterlist
The Void series: season 3b rewritten!
Episode one: Anchors
Part One
Part Two
Episode Two: More Bad Than Good
Part One
Part Two

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Stiles Stilinski/ Teen wolf Masterlist
The Void series: season 3b rewritten!
Episode one: Anchors
Part One
Part Two
Episode Two: More Bad Than Good
Part One
Part Two
The Void
Summary: The pack races to save a girl from her own father
Warnings: swearing, blood, guns
Word Count: 4.3k
________________________________
Episode Two: Part Two
y/n Pov
Stiles and I were reluctant to give away what we knew about where the twins had been hiding. We haven't really found out on purpose, it just sort of happened when we were driving around one day. We saw the twins' bikes outside Derek's apartment. And then we drove by on purpose… more than once. The bikes were always there.
Stiles slid open the door to the large and simple apartment. For the amount of people that love there and come in and out, you would think it would have more stuff in it. Lydia walked down the steps first, scanning the room when she got to the bottom.
“They said they would meet us here.” Stiles and I stepped down to both of her sides. We didn't even have a moment to react before two shadows reached out from behind the doors, barely visible.
“Jesus! Scott, are you okay?” I called out when I saw that they had rushed him, punching him square in the jaw. Before he had a change ro respond they threw him in our direction, stiles pulling me to the side before he hit the ground. There was nothing we could do but watch helplessly as they beat him. As cocky as the three of us can get- especially when put together- we know we could never match the strength of a werewolf. When Scott was thrown against a wall for a second time I reached out on impulse and grabbed Stiles' arm.
“Stiles.” I pleaded but he shook his head and winced as Scott got hit again and again.
“Stiles, please!” I said, begging him now, tugging on his arm. Still we did nothing.
Scott dropped to the ground, curled up on his side. There was blood dripping out of his mouth, sputtering in bubbles when he winced. He opened his mouth to let out a cough before speaking.
“I thought you guys were going to teach me how to roar.” he had to spit blood out of his mouth after speaking.
The twins were hovering over him, giving him a merciful break from the hits. “We are. You do it by giving in.” Ethan spoke and Aiden continued, “giving in and letting go. That's how deucalion taught us control.”
Lydia flinched as Ethan leaned down and grabbed the collar of Scotts shirt, hauling him upright with barely any effort. I tugged on Stiles’ arm again, and this time he spoke.
“Hey you know, it's funny. I've actually tried something like this on him before. Except I used a lacrosse ball and a heart monitor instead of… ya know, my fists.” he grimaced and shuffled on his feet. “But you're right, beating the living shit out of him is probably better.”
Scott shared a look with Stiles before turning his attention back to the twins. “That's actually the plan?” he asked, “you kick my ass?” the boys nodded before responding.
“You're afraid to turn. We're going to make you.”
I scoffed a little, “Sure yeah, seems like a great plan you've got going.”
They started to taunt Scott. Flashing their eyes at him and circling him like predators as he bent in half from the pain. I tried to step forward but was stopped by a hand on my arm.
“You’ll only make it worse.” Lydia said to me, holding herself with her other arm.
They were pushing him back and forth so quickly it was making me dizzy, throwing and pushing and taunting him, over and over and over again. Finally there was a light in Scott's eye. He swung. But just as quickly as he had recovered, they were on him again, two punches for every move he made. Scott was back on the ground with Aiden standing above him.
“You need to become the monster. Become the beast. Become everything you're afraid of!” Scott got to his knees and swung again but it was too slow, too sluggish. He was just pushed to the ground again.
“Stiles I don't know how much more of this he can take.” I said, turning to him, “he can't turn right now, he isn't healing like he should be.” Stiles looked at me and nodded. In the background Scott was on his knees on the floor, coughing blood in large drops.
“I know, I know.” Stiles said, chewing on a thumb. “Fight back Scott, come on.”
“What if I can't control it? What if I can't turn back?” Scott was staring at the floor, blood covering his mouth. He was shaking just with the effort of not fully collapsing to the floor. After the twins responded there was a moment of silence. Scott looked to the floor and took a deep breath before forcing himself to his feet. He wiped the blood off his mouth crudely before charging at the twins. I had to look away.
“Stiles, this has to stop!” I said into his shoulder. He was shielding me from it, trying not to let me look. But I could hear punch after punch after punch. The sound of the blood hitting the ground. Still holding my head to his shoulder, Stiles extended a hand and shouted to them.
“Enough!” he paused, looking over at Ethan. “You need to stop him!” Ethan walked over to his brother and grabbed his hand mid punch.
“What? I thought we were helping him.” his brother paused.
“You help too much.” there was an unspoken message in his eyes, a conversation between the two of them that the rest of us were not privy to. But I didn't care. All I cared about was that this was over. It was done. And none of us were any better for it.
Stiles, Lydia and I slowly approached the table where Scott was laying on his back, still covered in blood. He turned his head to the side and spit out a glob of blood. Stiles nearly puked. I continued walking until I was at his head, slowly taking a hand and placing it under his skull.
“Scott?” I asked quietly. His eyes were open but not looking at me. “Scott, are you okay? Can you hear me?” he nodded slightly. “Okay, good.” I looked over my shoulder at Stiles who was leaning against a wooden post with his hands over his face. Lydia was still standing beside me. “Hey Lydia?” She stepped closer and I turned my head to look at her. “Would you mind standing right where I am for a minute? Just keep your hand right here-” I placed hers over mine behind Scott's head, “and don't move for a minute, okay?” I slipped my hand out from under her's and waited for her to shift positions.
I gently removed Stile's hands from his face. His eyes were a little bloodshot. “ We need to get him to the jeep, and I need to assess him a little.” Stiles nodded. “I'm worried he might have a concussion, I really don't know how fast he's healing right now.” Stiles nodded again and I placed my hands on his arms.
“Was that a really dumb thing that I just had him do?” he asked me, glancing over my shoulder to Scott and the twins at the far end of the room.
“You were just trying to help, Stiles. He’ll be just fine.”
“And Malia?” he said, eyes widening, “what if he can't do it? What if he can't turn her back?”
“Then we will figure something else out, find someone else to do it.” I rubbed both of his arms as he heaved a sigh.
“Come on, it's late and we need to drive him home.” Stiles nodded.
“He’ll be fine, right?”
“Yeah” I sighed “we’ll all be fine.”
~~~~~~
y/n POV
Eventually with the help of the twins we managed to get Scott into the jeep. At first we insisted we didn't need or want their help, but logistically we just couldn't make it work. After I cleaned the blood off and made sure he wasn't about to pass out we all decided that he was probably healing fast enough for it to be fine. I still insisted we drive him home.
Stiles and I drove back to his place in silence. We were both so tired. And yet somehow I couldn't imagine sleeping. When we pulled in his dad was sitting on the couch, badge and gun on the table in front of him, some old cop show on the TV. He barely looked up as we walked in the door.
“Hey kids.”
“Hey dad,” Stiles said quietly, heading right for the stairs.
“Woah, woah woah. Hang on a second” Stiles sighed and swung back down, throwing himself into a recliner by the couch. I perched myself on the arm and leaned my head against his shoulder.
“Where were you two all day? I thought I would have seen you hours ago.”
Stiles and I shared a glance before he responded. “Oh just, uh, trying to figure things out for Malia, you know.”
“Malia the coyote?”
“Werecoyote. But yeah, her.” The sheriff sighed and finally turned his head. “Hang on. Why do you-” he pointed at me, “have blood all over your sleeves?”
Stiles squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. I didn't even know I had gotten blood on me.
“Dad listen-”
“No no no, don't ‘listen’ me. If something happened you've got to tell me, it's the only way I can help!” He got up from his chair and squatted in front of the both of us. “Now, I know you've been tired and there are some not so normal things going on right now but-” he placed a hand on his son's knee, “you can tell me anything, both of you.”
“I know, dad. I know. We were trying something out, something we thought would help Scott. It didn't help him, he got a little hurt. Just a few scratches I swear, he'll be fine by morning.” The sheriff then turned his gaze to me.
“Is he telling me the truth?”
“As much of it as usual.” I replied.
The sheriff sighed again and rubbed his head, but moved back over the couch and sat down. “Alright then, good enough for me.”
Stiles and I got up and he took my hand as he led me up the stairs. Before we got to the top we heard his dad call out from downstairs.
“Get some sleep tonight. And no funny business.”
Stiles and I laughed, sharing a look before heading into his room. We went about our usual routine, closing the blinds, brushing our teeth. When I slid beneath the blue and white comforter a breath released from me. I spread out for a moment, taking up every inch of the bed before Stiles stepped in the room. He sat on the edge and pulled off his shirt and sweatpants.
“Move over, starfish.” I rolled my eyes, but moved to the side so he could get in. I was only on the other side for a moment before he reached over and grabbed the hem of my shorts, dragging me by the waistband to his side.
I nestled into him, resting my head on his warm chest and throwing my leg between his. He brushed a soft kiss to my head, running his hand in circles over my back. We stayed like that for a minute, just feeling each other until he stopped the movement on my back.
“What?” I looked up at him as he asked me.
“What do you mean, what?” I asked.
“Somethings wrong I can feel it. You're not falling asleep and your shoulders are all tense like you're thinking about something that's bothering you.”
I hadn't even known I was doing that. “I don't know. I mean- I just-” I huffed and continued, “there’s a girl in there, Stiles. A young girl who got trapped in that body. Not only do we have no idea what she's going to be like if we get her out, but we don't even know if we can get her out.” I moved my head to look at him. “What happens if we fail? I can't be the cause of some poor girl's death.”
Stiles looked at me for a minute, thinking. He resumed the movements on my back just as he opened his mouth to speak. “First of all, even if we fail, that doesn't mean she dies. And even if she died that in no way means it was your fault”
“I-” he cut me off before I could start
“Nope, you can't argue this one. None of this is our fault. We didn't ask for this, and we are only trying to help.” he moved his hand to my hip and squeezed. “We are going to figure this out, y/n/n. We are going to make it work.” I didn't respond
“So we make it work. Then what? What about you, what about Scott and Allison?”
“We find Derek, we find a way to close the door. One step at a time okay?”
I relented. Mostly from pure exhaustion.
“Hey.”
“What?” I whispered back
“I love you.” He smiled sleepily at me and I returned it quickly.
“I love you too mischief”
~~~~~~~
Stiles POV
I don't remember if I slept. I never seem to these days anyway. When I finally decided it was morning I let y/n sleep for another hour while I lay there, head twisting around itself. If something goes wrong today, if one of us doesn't do our part, a girl could end up dead.
I lightly shook y/n awake. She mumbled incoherently and nuzzled further into my chest.
“Hey.” I whispered, moving the hair out of her face.
“No thanks” she whispered back.
I laughed and turned over, leaving her alone in the center of the bed as I slipped out on the other side. She groaned for a little while but eventually sat up, the night shirt I gave her riding up over her stomach.
“Is it really time to go already?”
I nodded, throwing on a shirt from my chair. “We want to get out there early, before the joggers go out. If he actually put traps around someone could get hurt.”
She siged and rubbed her brows, “we could get hurt”
“Yeah, we could”
She got out of bed anyways.
Our plan was to all meet up in the middle of the trail behind the highschool. We were hoping that as early as it was there wouldn't be any joggers on the path just yet. The sun was barely up. Scott, Issac, Allison, and Lydia had already made it to the halfway point when we arrived at the parking spot. The dew was still fresh, goosebumps raising on my skin as we started to walk.
“Took you long enough.” Issac called out when we got into sight.
“Someone was a little hard to get out of bed.” I said, rolling my eyes in his direction. y/n took a long swig out of the coffee mug in her hand and shrugged.
“I still think this is a bad idea.”
Allison was standing quietly beside Issac, chewing on her cheek. Lydia and y/n had a silent conversation with their eyes before walking over to her, each girl standing at her opposite shoulder. Lydia looked around and shook her head slightly.
“Anyone else think we might be doing more harm than good?”
Scott turned to her in seconds. “We are trying to keep a father from killing his own daughter.”
“Actually, we are trying to keep a guy from killing a coyote. Who is actually his daughter, who we don't know how to change-”
“Do you ever think before speaking?” y/n gave him a stare I did not envy. He stopped talking in the middle of his sentence.
“Did you bring it?” Scott asked Allison. She had stopped chewing on her cheek, the girls at her sides steading her. Allison reached put a hand behind Lydia to open her trunk, pulling the rifle out smoothly. I flinched a little. The girl still kind of scares me. She finally put the gun down at her side, still too close for my comfort.
After Allison pulled out the rifle form her trunk we all split off into groups to look for the coyote as well as the traps set by her father. y/n and I were sent on the walking path, doing a full circle as far as we could until either we find her, or someone else does. It would have been a nice romantic walk if it weren't for the whole, ‘looking for a murderous creature’ thing going on.
We had only been walking for a few minutes when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I was still so on edge that it made me jump and look around before I realized what it was.
“It took the doll again? What the hell is so important about that doll?” I asked my dad over the phone, speaking loud enough that y/n could piece together the information.
“I don't know, but listen to me, there are traps all over those woods. Near the trails, probably near the crash, and Tate is out there with a rifle. I want you to stay out of those woods you got that?”
I stopped fidgeting and looked up from the dirt beneath my feet.
“Stiles?” my dad and y/n asked at the same time. I locked eyes with y/n/n as I responded to him. Everything came together all at once. The crash site, the clothes, her father. The doll. That goddamn doll.
“Its the doll.”
“Stiles?” they both asked again. I hung up the phone, staring at y/n who had taken another step close to me when I stopped responding. I tried to explain to her what I meant, about it being the doll, but we both quickly realized that I actually hadn't put it together as well as I had thought. I kneeled down on the ground to think while she paced back and forth behind me.
“All right, but why would it go all the way to the school, and then all the way back to the house just for a doll.” I paused shaking my head. “One that was in the crash to begin with. We didn't even find it in the den.”
“So she likes the doll, what do you mean?” she asked me. I didn't really have an answer.
“Yeah, she likes the doll a lot.”
y/n paused her pacing, stopping directly behind me. I twisted around to look at her.
“What kind of doll was it?”
“Its a- I don't know- its a doll, you know? Creepy looking, dead soulless eyes?” she sighed behind me. “Actually I took a pic.” I got up to show it to her. She looked at it for a minute, pointing at Malia and then tracing her finger back to the girl beside her. The girl holding the doll.
“Stiles, she's not holding the doll. Her sister is.”
“I know what she's doing. I know where she’s going.”
~~~~~~~~~~
y/n POV
Stiles didnt take the time to explain to me what he was thinking before he picked up his phone again and dialled a number. I resumed by pacing nervously behind him, chewing on my fingernails as I tried to over hear both sides of his conversation.
“Scott, its me, you need to call me back as soon as you can. It wasnt Malia’s doll, it was her sisters,”
I stopped paying attention as he began to walk quickly down the path. I followed behind him, trying to keep up the pace with the coffee in my hand. I didn't even notice the metal in the ground in front of me until it was too late.
“The car wreck, she's headed to the car wreck.”
There was a terrible sound as the metal under my foot groaned. I finally looked down, my heart jumping into my throat. “Stiles?” I called out, my voice shaking.
“yeah” he shoved his phone back into his pocket as he turned around.
I was holding my breath, staring down at the tap that mercifully hadn't snapped shut on my leg. I watched as his eyes dragged down to where I was looking, finally seeing the glint by my foot. He rushed forward as I started to panic.
“Stiles!” I wanted to step off. I wanted to jump and run and get out of here. He threw out a hand as he rushed over to me.
“y/n do not move.”
He was standing right in front of me now, his shoes almost brushing the edge of the trap. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I needed to calm down. I needed to get myself out of this.
“Look for a warning label.”
Stiles shook his head at me, confused. “A warning label? Why would they have a warning label on this thing?”
“Because animals can't read.” I said, closing my eyes again to calm myself.
Stiles got down on the ground, holding my calf with one hand and placing the other beside the trap on the ground. He was whispering to himself as he searched until finally he found it. He stared and stared at the one spot of color until he finally looked up at me.
“y/n/n we've got a problem.” The sweat dripped down his brow. “I can’t read either.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
y/n POV
My breath was shaking. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay. that's okay.” Stiles sat back on his heels, rubbing his face in his hands.
“Okay? What do you mean okay? Nothing about this is okay!” I held out my hand for him to grab.
“Stiles, you need to breathe. We can figure this out.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting go of my hand to kneel back down on the ground. “You don't need the instructions. When is the last time you ever used instructions, right? You don't need them because you are too smart to waste your time with that. So you can figure it out. Just figure it out.”
He didn't look at me as he wiped the sweat off of his face. I continued to breathe as slow as I could with my eyes closed. I could hear his ruffling the leaves around the trap, running his hands along all it's edges until he stopped.
“Okay. okay, here we go” My eyes flew open. He was still kneeling on the ground, his hand on something that looked like a little wheel. “You ready?”
I nodded. “I trust you.”
“Okay. here we go.”
In seconds I was off the trap, being pulled into his arms and away from the metal. A gasp made its way out of my lips as I realized I was still fully intact. Stiles arms were wrapped around me, my hands clutching the edge of his sweatshirt. I pressed the side of my cheek against his as we both stared at the now shut trap. Breathing heavily we turned and looked at each other.
“Lets not do that again, huh?” He said, holding the back of my head. I nodded, mumbling as I dropped my head to his chest. There was a sudden rumbling in the woods. The trees shifted and shook, the air seemed to hum. Until all of a sudden a sound reached us. A howl. Scott.
Stiles looked at me, smiling. “Now that's what i'm talking about.”
~~~~~~~~~
Stiles POV
Not too long after Scott's call we made it out of the woods. I made y/n jump on my back as we walked. She made fun of me and joked about being heavy, but there was simply no way in hell I was letting her feet touch the ground after all of that. If someones getting their leg stuck in a trap again, it'll be me. At least she could read the warning label.
We found Scott and the rest of the pack by the cars in the middle of the woods. My dads cruiser was there too, off to the side. No other police cars were there. I could faintly see him over at the back, grabbing his extra jacket and draping it around a girl.
I stopped at stared at y/n. A girl. “It worked.”
“Oh my god it worked.” she said back. She flung herself back into my arms and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. The rest of the pack made their way over to us. Issac's legs were covered in blood, but other than that we were all relatively unscathed.
“You got her back.” I said to Scott, bumping him on the shoulder. He didn't say anything but just nodded, staring off into the woods behind the police cruiser. y/n, Lydia, and Allison had walked a little ways away, alternating between giggles of joy and raised eyebrows from what I can only assume is the trading of stories from our time in the woods. I walked over to my car, waving a hand at my dad who gave me a smile and a nod. We would be talking about this later I'm sure, but for now, we are alive and so is that girl. A girl who can go home to her father thanks to us.
y/n stepped into the passenger seat just a few minutes later, leaning her head back against the leather seat and closing her eyes. I looked out the window for a moment, watching everyone else get in their cars and leave. Finally, once everyone else had gone I put the car into reverse. And then I sopped. I sighed and shook my head.
“What?” y/n opened her eyes to look at me with confusion all over her face- as well as some dirt.
“Of course now i can fucking read.”
The Void
Summary: The chase to find the werecoyote becomes even more dangerous
warnings: mentions of death, swearing, violence, blood
word count: 5.1k
____________________________________
Episode Two: Part One
y/n POV
Stiles and I stood in the clearing for a minute, hoping that we would hear Scott call out for us farther up the hill. When there was nothing but the sound of him disturbing branches and then no sound at all, we exchanged a glance. And then both started running up the hill.
“Dammit Scott!” I shouted as I pushed branches and leaves out of the way. Stiles and I were two of the most uncoordinated people on this earth, running around in the woods at night was just a set up for disaster. Stiles tumbled to the ground after tripping on a root that I had narrowly avoided. I stopped to haul him off the ground before we continued running.
I could see a light to the left of us so I veered in that direction, hoping that Stiles would follow behind me. He finally reached my side just as a shadow moving quickly fell right into us.
“AHHHH”
I was sitting in mud on the ground with the boys crushed on top of me. That terrifying shadow that had the two of us screaming was in fact Scott. Looking very human and very much like we just shared the literal shit out of him.
“Oh thank god, it's just you.” Stiles said breathlessly as he helped me up from the ground. He glanced behind us to where the two of us had happened upon the den.
“We found something.”
Scott inclined his head.
“So did I. ''
He explained how he had seen the coyote- Malia- as we led him back to the den near the crash. It was only about ten meters from where the car was lying on its side, hidden to us at first only because of the dark. The three of us had to crouch or even crawl to get in the den fully, the rock around us cold and pitch black. When Stiles moved the flashlight back and forth we could all see the various things Malia must have taken from the car. A doll, a jacket, a shoe. All kids sizes. Looking at them made me realize just how young she was when it happened.
“It's her den.” Stiles crouched down and grabbed the plush jacket laying on the dirt, holding it up in the flashlight for Scott to see.
“It's Malia’s, I recognize it from the pictures in the house.”
“We shouldn't be in here,” Scott said, turning slowly toward the entrance.
“What do you mean?” Stiles shared a quick glance at me, turning back to Scott just as quick.
“She's not going to come back here now, we’ve invaded her home.”
“Our scent must be everywhere” I added, thinking of all the things we must have touched.
“If she won’t come back here then where is she going to go?”
“That's the problem, isn't it?” I asked turning to Scott
“Could you track her now? With that?” I pointed to the jacket in his hand.
“Maybe, but I'm better at this when I’m a full wolf and right now…” he trailed off, refusing to make eye contact with either of us. Stiles finished for him.
“You don't know if you would be able to turn back.” Scott nodded, still facing down in the darkness.
“The door is still open.” I said, placing my hand on Stiles' shoulder to guide him out of the den.
“For all three of you.”
“We need to find Derek, or if not him, someone - anyone- who can help us.” I turned to Stiles who was staring up at the sky.
“Stiles. This is basically a crime scene right?”
“And it's a little out of our league.” Scott added
“More in my dads” he finally looked at us and pulled out his phone, stepping away to make the call.
Less than thirty minutes later the full force of the Beacon Hills police department had arrived on scene. We showed them to the car first and then over to the den, guiding up the rocks on the side of the hill. Stiles' dad had so far only said two words to us at all.
“Stay here” he had pointed to his squad car that still had the lights running and his jaw was clenched so hard I thought it would shatter. Eventually he came back out of the woods to where the three of us had obediently been waiting. He stepped in front of Scott and lowered his voice.
“You’re sure it was her? It was Malia?” Scott nodded
“I looked her right in the eyes. They glowed just like mine.”
“It makes sense dad”
“But it wasn't actually a girl. It was a four legged coyote, right?”
“Well yes, but-” he cut his son off with a wave of the hand only for Scott to take up the same thought.
“Okay, but if it happened on a full moon and she did change while her mom was driving then anything could have happened.”
“Even if Malia didn’t cause the accident itself, she still could have run off and changed later” I said, trying to support the boys as best I could.
“Or horrible things could have happened.” Stiles joined back in “Ripping, tearing, shredding things.” I slapped him in the arm and shook my head.
“Okay, think about it. They’re driving, Malia starts to change, she goes out of control, the mom crashes and everyone dies.”
“Everyone but Malia.” I say
“Who was left alone in the woods, she blames herself for the accident and runs off, eventually becoming trapped as a coyote because she doesn't know how to change”
Noah’s face fell into a scowl. He sighed deeply.
“Right. Because that makes sense. In a Chinese folktale!” he raised his voice and then lowered it just as quickly. “This, this is just insane.” He shook his head. The three of us kept quiet, knowing that the damage had already been done.
“I need this kept quiet.” He said, pointing a finger out at us “Not a word from the three of you to anyone. I do not want anyone hearing about this, especially Mr.Tate.”
We all nodded, staring off into the woods to avoid the scathing look he was giving. Another squad car pulled up behind him, the lights blinding us as we turned to see who had arrived. The car wasn't like the others, it was unmarked, and as it parked I realized why.
Mr.Tate and Scott’s father both stepped out of the car.
“Oh, Hell” Noah said before trudging off in their direction. The three of us stayed behind as they made their way to us. I linked my hand with Stiles after his dad walked away, starting to feel the exhaustion of being up this late. Not to mention the stress of everything going on right now.
“Mr. Tate.” Noah said in greeting as they arrived in front of us. Tate latched his eyes onto the coat in Scott’s hand, still hanging limply by his side. When we realized what he was looking at Scott passed it over to Noah who handed it gingerly to Mr.Tate. I had to look away from the man's face when he took it into his hands, staring at it as if it were the body of his daughter and not just a bit of fabric.
“It’s hers.”
Scotts father turned to us. “Alright wait right here”
“Dad” Scott protested, grabbing his attention before he could go up the hill. His father turned back to him slightly. “I’ll talk to you in a minute.”
I could see Scott's face fall as it always did when his dad dismissed him. It made me want to punch the man, but instead I just tightened my hand around Stiles.
“I wouldn't mind hearing how your mom is okay with you running around in the woods this late” he didn't allow a reply from anyone as he turned fully and stalked off into the woods. If there's one thing that makes Scott angry it's his father. And something to make that even worse, would be his father blaming anything on his mother.
The three of us stayed by the cars as we were told, Stiles' dad following after Scott’s as they headed back into the woods. We could hear them arguing in the distance about why he brought Mr.Tate. To me it just seemed cruel. Telling him about it is one thing, but making him see in person- something entirely different.
“Hey, you still awake?” Stiles nudged me with his shoulder after I had been quiet for a while.
“Sorry, yeah, just thinking. Tired though.”
both of the boys sighed
“Yeah, me too.”
~~~
Stiles POV
After the night Scott, y/n and I had, it was no surprise that y/n/n decided to stay home for a little longer. She fought me on it at first, insisting that if the rest of us were going into school that she would just come too. Eventually I broke her down by stroking her hair until she fell asleep and then escaping with the car and leaving a note for her with my dad. She’ll definitely be pissed as hell once she wakes up. But at least she can sleep without worrying about me for five minutes.
Scott and I had just sat down in history. Of course I wasn't listening or paying attention as Mr.Yukimora outlined what we would be doing for today. Nothing until suddenly I heard my name being called.
“Mr.Stilinski, how about you?” I looked up from twirling my pencil around my finger “Oh, uh, maybe someone else could?” I gulped after asking, feeling my heart rate already pick up. With how the past few days had been lately there was no telling if I would be able to do this.
“Everyone participates in my class, Mr.Stilinski”
I stared down at my desk again before resigning myself and sliding out of the chair. It was only a couple of steps to the front where the book was sitting flat on a podium but for some reason when I got there I was already out of breath.
I looked down at the textbook, briefly relieved that I could see the words on the page.
“Okay, okay” I whispered to myself. Then, without warning the page blurred in front of me. Only for a second, but enough that after I blinked harshly and reopened my eyes the words and letters were back. But none of them made sense.
“No. no no no. Come on, come on!” My grip on the podium tightened, white knuckling the wood as I squeezed my eyes shut again. I did it so hard that it hurt. My breathing was still picking up. I still couldn't read. Suddenly I was dizzy, I felt- I felt like something was wrong. All of it just felt wrong. I couldn't take a breath, I couldn't step away, my vision blurred even more, the non distinguishable words blurring together until there was nothing left for me to read at all. Then suddenly there was a silence in my mind.
I'm not even awake. God, was it all a dream?
I looked back up at the class. All of my classmates were staring up at me, waiting for me to read or to step away, waiting for me to do something.
No. no, they're not. Because they aren't real. None of this is real.
“It's not real. None of this is real” I whispered. I looked over to dream Scott who had just looked up at me. I could hardly see him as he got out of his seat, walking to where I was doubled over at the podium. When did that happen?
“Stiles? You okay?”
I couldn't get the breath out to respond to him. Not just that. I didn't want to. Whenever I engage in my dreams something always goes wrong.
I tried to take a step away and stumbled. Scott was there to grab me by the arm and steady me.
“I should take him to the nurse” he said quietly while taking hold of me and dragging me out of the classroom.
I didn't fight it as he led me out. I almost stumbled with him, aiding him in getting me out. Even if none of it was real I still didn't want to stand there with all of them watching me. He brought me into a bathroom nearby, not one I could ever remember seeing in real life.
As he opened the door for me I launched myself inside, trying to get out of his grip. I fell into the doorframe, feeling the pain run down from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers. Finally I stopped my fall at the sink. I gripped it just like I had the wood in the classroom, this time staring into a foggy mirror in front of me.
“Stiles, look at me, man, is this a panic attack?”
I shook my head, trying to wake myself up. It all felt so real. But it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. I needed to wake up. I needed to get out of here I couldn't-
“It's a dream. It's a dream.” I chanted to myself, trying to close my eyes and say the words. Sometimes if I say it enough eventually it becomes true.
“No it's not Stiles. This is real. You are real, you're here with me.”
no. no, he's lying. They always lie. They always try to keep me here with them but I wouldn't stay. No. I stared into the mirror, looking for any way to bring myself back. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my body.
“Shit!” I heard him curse from behind me. “Pick up, pick up, pick up!” He was madly dialing someone's number on his phone, again and again and again. “y/n, goddamnit pick up!”
y/n. She would wake me up. She always wakes me up.
“y/n we need you at the school, somethings happening with Stiles! Just- if you get this just come here, please!” He hung up the phone and then dropped it in a corner where his bag had been tossed.
“Stiles what does she do?”
I flung my head around to look at him.
“What does y/n do when she needs to help you?” he asked again. It didn't make sense. Something about him just wasn't fake enough. It was too real. I didn't understand. It was all too real. But I had to try. Maybe it would help, maybe this would help.
“F-fingers, count your fingers.”
his eyes widened like he was surprised to hear my voice. To be honest I was too.
“Okay, okay. So how many do I have?”
I turned back to stare into the sink, feeling like I was losing myself.
“Stiles! Look at me!”
I just couldn't catch my breath, I could understand, I just-
“Count with me Stiles!” His hands were blurry at first when I turned around but I managed to focus on the one digit he held up for me to see.
“One. Stiles?”
“One” I repeated to him.
With each finger I counted I could breathe a little easier. Once we got to five some part of me started to believe that maybe this was real. But if it was then what was happening to me?
His phone rang from the corner of the room. I think it might have been the entire time but I didn't realize how loud it was until now.
“Seven. Eight. Nine.” he held up one last finger as the ringing from the corner stopped. It was so quiet.
“Ten.” I finally looked into Scotts eyes. Real. His eyes were real. I was here.
I slid down the wall behind me, exhausted and terrified of myself. I heard someone screaming in the hall.
“Where is he! Did you see where they went?”
the door slammed open just as I hit the floor. Scott kneeled down beside me as y/n came into view. It was almost laughable to see how she towered over Scott and I even though when the both of us are standing she's about a foot shorter. I was tired and sweaty. I could feel the cotton of my shirt sticking to my skin when I rested my arms on my bent knees.
“What the hell is happening to me?”
y/n kneeled down beside Scott and placed a hand over mine on my knee.
“We’ll figure this out okay?” Scott said, standing up and heading towards the door. “You're going to be okay.” the door swung closed behind him. I could hear him telling a group of kids to walk away.
I couldn't look her in the eye. I couldn't let her see the terror and pain I knew was there. Finally when I did, a few tears mixed with sweat made their way down my face to my chin.
“Am I?”
she frowned but waited as she could tell I wasn't done.
“Are any of us?” I gestured at the door,“Scott can’t transform, Allison is being haunted by her dead aunt. And I’m straight up losing my mind.”
At that she moved closer to me and put my face in her hands. She held me so that I couldn't look away from her. Still and calm. Her hands were cold against my skin just like they always are. Something about it broke into me. I knew I was finally safe and yet somehow that feeling I had before of something just being… off, was still there.
“We can’t do this. We can’t help anyone.”
“Hey. stop.” she shook her head at me. Tears were welling in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. “I'm all for a moment of doubt, okay? I'm all for the need to just collapse every once in a while and you know that I will be here for you every single time okay? But never, never, let me hear you say that you are crazy or that there's nothing we can do.”
She let go of my head to pull me into her for a hug. With my face laying against her chest she rested her head atop mine.
“We might not be winning right now Stiles, but we haven't lost just yet.”
~~~
y/n POV
Stiles and I sat on the floor of the bathroom for another thirty minutes. We didn’t talk anymore or try to get up and leave, just sat quietly, waiting for a reason to get up. Eventually we heard a commotion outside the door.
“Do you think Scott?” He asked, thinking of Scotts current Alpha issues.
“Shit.”
we both dashed out the door to find a small group of students running for the main entrance. Stiles snagged one by the shirt.
“Hey, what's going on, why is everyone running?!”
the poor kid looked panicked but he answered quickly “Coyote, lockers” before running again towards the doors. Instead of following him and all the other kids like we should have, we of course headed in the opposite direction.
“Why is it that we always end up running towards danger?” I asked as we slowed in front of the locker room doors. We heard a loud crash come from inside and a growl before Stiles shoved me back into the hallway. Standing in front of me I couldn't see anything but a gray brown blur as the animal-girl- ran past us and out of the closed school doors. I gulped down a breath and looked at Stiles.
“Was that-”
“It was Malia,” Scott said, leading Kira out of the locker room by one arm and in the other holding Stiles black backpack, the front was ripped off, revealing the doll lying within. “Did you see where she went?” he asked, holding the bag out for Stiles to grab.
“Nope, we were too busy trying not to be eaten.” he replied, glancing up at Kira and then back to me. I nudged him with my shoulder.
“We should probably go out there, I bet someone already called your dad.”
Indeed the second we walked out into the hallway we could see Noah and a few deputies at the other end.
“Stiles!” He called, raising his eyebrows in what we have become well acquainted with as the what the hell happened look. He put a hand on the back of Stiles' neck, narrowing his eyes when he undoubtedly felt the remains of a cold sweat and first from falling onto the bathroom floor.
“Some students called us, said they saw a coyote running out the back doors and across the baseball field.”
Stiles worried his lip a little, walking back towards where me and Scott were waiting for him.
“Thank god no one got hurt.” his father finished when they reached us.
“What happens if someone does get hurt?” he said to his dad.“What if she hurts someone?” he said again, more urgently.
Noah shook his head and sighed. “Then we’ll have to put it down.”
“Put her down. There's a girl in there, dad.” Stiles was raising his voice, looking at his father incredulously. “A girl that you’d be killing.” he finished, huffing a breath and stopping to stand beside me.
I skimmed a hand down his arm, trying to get him to take a breath. He did, but still continued as his father did not respond.
“Come on. You aren't back to not believing are you?”
Scott had walked off with Kira a minute ago, now stopping his conversation with her as he no doubt tried with his wolf hearing to listen to this instead.
“I believe that there are a lot of things I still don’t understand.” he paused and waited for a deputy to walk by.“But that doesn't mean anything imaginable is suddenly possible.” Stiles' face fell before he looked up to find Scott. Now without Kira nearby, he was fully listening.
“Are you 100% sure that this is a girl and not an animal?” He asked when he saw Stiles looking away. He wasn't responding fast enough so I jumped in for the first time since they had come over.
“Yes. 100% yes.”
Stiles turned his face back to his father.“Because Scott’s sure.” he said, waving a hand toward where Scott was listening at the end of the hall. Noah turned as well, looking to Scott. Stiles lowered his voice to a whisper, barely audible to me right next to him.
“Scott, you been listening?” Yards away, Scott nodded, locking eyes with Noah as he did so.
The sheriff rubbed his face with his palms. “Alright, let's get this figured out, come on.” he took Stiles by the shoulder again and led him back towards the locker room. The doll that had been ripped from Stiles' backpack was laying on the ground in a heap.
“Stiles. You took the doll from the car?” Noah sighed again
“Yeah- I thought Scott could like use it for her scent or something.” He said sheepishly, still holding the doll up with one hand.
A new hand suddenly flew into view and grabbed the doll from Stiles. When I looked back I saw Mr.Tate’s angry face standing inches behind me.
“Where did you get this!” his eyes were wide, and his voice loud enough to call in a deputy from the hall. Stiles took a step forward and placed a hand on my arm, leading me a few steps away from Mr.Tate and then between him and Scott. Noah stepped forward to speak.
“This belonged to my daughter.” Mr.Tate said, cradling the doll.
“Mr.Tate, I don't know how you heard about this- if you have a police scanner or what- but you can't be here.”
Noah was now standing between the three of us and Mr.Tate who still had the doll in his hand, but it was now by his side. The sheriff placed a hand on his front, applying a gentle pressure to get him to turn around and leave the room. Noah suddenly flung one hand back towards us, making sure that we kept back. Mr.Tates face had gone red and understanding came to me suddenly when Noah opened the flap of Tate’s jacket to reveal a small gun hidden by his waist.
Stiles threw a protective arm out in front of me, his hand settling on the opposite side of my waist. I rolled my eyes, but stayed where I was.
“I have a permit.” Mr.Tate ground out.
“California schools are gun free zones- permit or no permit.” he was firm and kept his hands and eyes on Mr.Tate, waiting for his next move.
“You need to leave Mr.Tate. Now.”
The deputy from the hall took one of Mr.Tate's arms after hearing the sheriff, pulling out into the hall while he started and insisted, trying to stay in the room.
“You find that animal! You find that thing!”
we could hear him yell from the hall. Stiles finally let out a breath I didn't know he had been holding. He looked over at me and practically patted me down with the arm that hand been flung across me earlier.
“Are you okay? Did he touch you?” I rolled my eyes again and gently shoved him off.
“Stiles calm down, I’m fine, be barely got within a foot of me.”
“A foot too close.” he mumbled under his breath
“Stiles is right to be worried, he was too close and had a weapon on him, besides we don't know what he could have planned-” Scott cut himself off as a look of realization came over his face.
“He’s going to go after Malia himself.”
~~~
Stiles POV
After a ten minute fight between y/n, Scott, and I about what we should do, all three of us ended up in the jeep, heading to Deaton’s for help. We had sort of decided on a plan along the way. Well, less of a plan and more of an end goal. We needed to get Malia to change.
“I still don't think we should even be thinking about sedating her.” Sophie said, feet up on the dash, and arms crossed in a pout.
Scott tried to reason with her, “It's the only way we know we can keep her safe for a little while, if we sedate her and get her to Deaton then Mr.Tate can’t go after her for a while at least.”
“It gives us time to figure out what we need to do to fix Scott and turn her back into a human, that's all, okay?” I tried to comfort her, leaving out the part that if we do succeed in getting her tranked then we have to take her to Deaton and we have no idea how long we would have to keep her like that. Or if we could even find a way to change her back at all. But I kept that part to myself.
The three of us loaded out of the jeep and into the vet office. It was almost laughable how well I knew this place by now. Practically once a day I find myself jumping over the little gate to get into the back, ignoring the “closed” sign out front.
y/n stepped out in front of us, her jaw still clenched in indignation.
“What are you using?” She asked Deaton who was walking in from a room far in the back of the clinic.
“Xylazine. It’s a tranquilizer for horses.”
I didn't envy him when I saw the look on her face.
“For horses?” She raised her eyebrows. “She is barely seventy pounds!” Deaton calmly placed three vials in front of us and turned to her.
“Exactly. For a werecoyote it should work in seconds, not minutes.”
“Yeah, if it doesn't kill her first.” He ignored her and looked to Scott as he continued.
“I only have three. So whoever is shooting better be damn good.” Scott didn't hesitate
“Allison is a perfect shot.”
“She used to be.” All of us sent a glare toward Isaac.
“Thanks man. I’m sure that's really what all of us needed to hear right now.” I said, looking over at him and sarcastically nodding my head. The guy just gets on my nerves. Such a downer.
“She can do it.”
“If we manage to find the thing.”
“Her.” y/n interjected. “If we manage to find her.” I took a step closer to her and point to Issac.
“Okay, seriously, what is the point of him? Like really, what is his purpose? Aside of course from the persistent negativity and the scarves.” I could feel y/n/n rolling her eyes at me but I continued, “what is with the scarf anyways? It’s 65 degrees out.”
“Look, maybe I'm asking a question no one else wants to ask. How do we turn a coyote back into a girl, when she hasn't been a girl in eight years?” we were all silent.
“I can do it.”
“You can?” I asked Scott.
“Do you remember that night that Peter locked us in the school?” he asked, turning to look at me and y/n by my side, “in the gym, he was able to make me turn just using his voice. Deucalion did the same thing in the distillery.”
“This is a werecoyote Scott. No one knows if that would work.”
“That's why you called Derek first.” I said to Scott, trying to ignore all of the eyes at my back.
“Yeah. But right now I'm too scared to turn into a wolf.”
I tubbed a hand over my face, sighing deeply. “We need a real alpha.” y/n hit my arm. “You know what I mean, an alpha who can do alpha things!” She hit me again. “You know, an alpha you can get it going. You know get it-”
“Up?” Issac interjected and for once I felt like we were almost on the same page. I nodded and waved a hand at him.
“Great. So I'm an alpha with performance issues.” he sighed.
We discussed for a few more minutes, y/n quiet by my side as the sun started to go down out the windows. Eventually we realized that the twins were what we needed. Even if they weren't alphas themselves anymore, they knew how to be one. The only problem was where to find them. I took a glance at y/n, wondering if we were thinking the same thing.
“No one knows where to find them.” Scott said, his head hanging low over the metal table. y/n and I shared a look. Held it for a second too long.
“Actually, that's not true.”
The Void
Summary: y/n’s stress takes on new life as the pack looks for answers
Warnings: talk of death, lack of sleep, swearing
word count: 3.7 k
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Episode One: Part two
Stiles POV
After school that day we all went our separate ways, me and Allison and Scott promising y/n and Lydia that we wouldn't kill ourselves, or anyone else. Allison and Lydia went to the woods, something about target practice that I hear went horribly, especially when Scott found out Issac was in the woods with them. y/n went back to her house to shower and study, informing me that she would be over at my house by seven to force me to study, make dinner for me and my dad and go to sleep. “I'll be there at seven, oh and make sure you have plenty of eggs, you know how I like to stress bake.”
I dropped y/n/n off at her house and then drove over to the police station, stopping by a florist on the way. Every once in a while dad and I like to get flowers for mom's grave. Most of the time they wilt or get stolen, but as he reminded me when I popped into his office, “it's the gesture that counts”. I was only in his office for a few minutes before I left, but the piles and piles of files stacked higher than his desk from the floor worried me. At seven sharp I heard a knock on my door- bedroom, not front of the house- and opened it to find my girlfriend standing there holding a tray of cupcakes and her bag on her shoulder.
“You were only home for like two hours, how did you-”
“You'd be surprised how productive I can be when I'm worried out of my mind.” I laughed and took the tray from her, opening my door wider so that she could walk in beside me.
“I'm going to put these downstairs where my dad will see them. Oh and, I need to talk to you about something” I knew I messed up my wording the second it came out of my mouth. Her eyes practically bulged out of her head.
“Not what I meant, not what I meant! I just- oh god what have I done. I mean about my dad! Okay I'm putting these downstairs, just try not to stress organize my entire room while I'm gone, would you?” I ran down the stairs as fast as I could while holding a full tray of cupcakes and when I got back I found her standing by my desk moving the crime/supernatural photos off of it and placing my textbooks there instead. When she heard me enter the room she turned around sheepishly.
“What did I tell you, productivity.”
I placed my hands on her shoulders and dragged her away from my desk, sitting her at the edge of my messily made bed and then moving to close the door with my foot.
“So what did you-”
“I think my dad is about to be fired by Scotts dad and I want to be mad and Scott because his dad is doing this but I know that Scott didn't know anything about it and is just as angry as I am and I think my dad also might be really depressed because he has stacks and stacks-”
“Okay, okay. Just sit down and take a breath, please. I swear you were talking so fast you made me lose my breath in sympathy.”
She patted the bed next to her and I sat down. I rubbed my hands together and stared at the floor until she placed a hand on my leg and one on my back, rubbing small circles into it.
“Okay, start at the beginning, what's going on?”
As I told her the whole story she kept any emotion but kindness from her face. No anxiety about me or the pack, no school night panic, no sarcastic eye roll, just pure understanding. She knows what it's like to be exhausted. She knows how when you're tired every little problem turns into a godzilla sized issue. How suddenly you go from a calm, competent human being to a jumbled jumpy mess. And I was both tired, and a jumpy mess.
“You're right, it sucks. But there's nothing that you and I can do anything about right this second. So, right now what I need to do is make dinner, and what you need to do is take a nap.”
I chuckled and rubbed a hand over my eyebrows.
“Dinner sounds nice.”
“Stiles, you need to sleep. Most times you don't dream if you are asleep for less than two hours, so please, for me, take a nap.”
I submitted no matter how much I hated the idea and within five minutes I had fallen asleep. It wasn't for long, but in the long run I think it helped because that night I didn't sleep at all. Not even falling asleep and having nightmares, just nothing, no sleep. At first y/n tried to stay up with me, she studied and did her homework, and mine, and then she got in bed alongside me and stroked my hair and did everything she could to help me fall asleep. But in the end, my fear of having another nightmare was bigger than her ability to keep her eyes open. I didn't mind though, even though I was exhausted and afraid, watching her peaceful face as she slept was comforting, almost normal.
~~
y/n POV
When I woke up in the morning I was alone in Stiles' bed, tucked in carefully with a pillow in my arms. I got a grasp of my surroundings and looked for Stiles around the room. He was sitting upright at his desk in a chair, staring at the wall with dark circles under his eyes.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” he shook his head at me and rubbed the back of his neck. My heart sank. I knew I tried all I could to get him to fall asleep, but in the end it's pretty much the will of two against my own. Seeing him so stressed and exhausted broke my heart, Stiles has been through so much already and he just doesn't deserve this.
“Alright, well, school starts in twenty so I'm going to make us both some coffee and then we should go.” he nodded sleepily at me and I placed a kiss on top of his head before dashing downstairs.
I came back up fully dressed with two to-go cups of coffee in my hands and found Stiles sitting in exactly the same position as when I left. Not a good sign. Usually his hyperactive ass wakes up ten minutes before me, places a pillow in my arms where his arm is supposed to be, makes coffee, gets our school stuff, and is still left fidgeting for ten minutes before I'm ready to go. His stillness was what bothered me more than anything else, if there is one thing about Stiles that everyone notices, it's that he's always moving.
“Maybe you should stay at home Stiles, I can get a ride to school, and you can try to sleep.” he flinched slightly at the word “... or, maybe I should stay with you.”
On second thought, I should definitely stay with him. No matter whether he stays home or goes to school, leaving his side today seems like a bad idea.
“No, no, I'm coming I wouldn't be able to sleep if I stayed here anyways, might as well do something while I'm awake.” his voice was slow and thick, like he was asleep with his eyes open, but a response was better than I was hoping for at this point.
Luckily for the both of us, the whole pack has our first class of the day together, a good chance for me to warn everyone that Stiles is practically a zombie. We all sat down in our usual seats and coach per usual was ten minutes late. We used those ten minutes to talk as much as we could.
“He's so… still” Lydia looked at me while I explained how I found him at his desk this morning and glanced over at him.
“I'm worried, Lyds, you know Stiles as well as I do, I don't think I have ever seen him this still, like ever.”
Scott nodded from behind us and then looked back at Stiles.“Uh, guys, he's writing something.”
I whipped around in my seat to look at Stiles who was sitting directly behind me.
“Scott I can't really see it, what does it say?” Lydia asked from next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me as she could tell how worried I was. Before Scott could reply, coach suddenly laid on his whistle at the four of us, continuing on with it after screaming Stiles' name a few times.
“STILINSKI”
“W-what?! Sorry coach, what did you ask?” his head shot up after coach laid on the whistle for the last time and he responded quickly to get him to turn around.
“Stiles, I told you we should have stayed home today.”
“Im fine, i’m fine, I just fell asleep for a minute, that's all” Scott looked at me and then back at Stiles.
“Dude, you weren't asleep.” He pointed to Stiles’ paper, his dark pen marks all over it. Finally after a second I could tell what it said, though I'm not sure Stiles could. It said the same thing I had said, his dad had said, even what Stiles himself would say during his nightmares. Wake up, it said, wake up.
Stiles POV
The whole day I constantly felt like everyone had their eyes on me. My little fiasco in coaches class at the beginning of the day had them, and me, worried. I could tell Scott and Allison were trying their best to be supportive, but they didn't really understand, plus Scott was not so discreetly staring at the new girl and Allison at Isaac. Finally the bell rang for lunch and the pack headed outside to our usual table, all of us squeezing onto the benches as best we could.
“I brought more baked goods.” y/n sat down next to me and pulled out two containers full of the cupcakes she made yesterday. Scott and Issacs' heads shot up at the mention but Lydia looked so angry it was hilarious.
“Are you trying to tempt me?”
“Hey, imagine how I feel, do you know how many times this week alone I thought I had diabetes” I chimed in and smiled at the both of them, showing them I was okay. Sleep deprived and with more anxiety than ever, but okay.
Scott looked up from his textbook and began talking.
“Okay, so what happens to someone who has a near-death experience and comes out of it seeing things?” Everyone at the table looked up from wherever they were doing as I chimed in.
“And is unable to tell what's real or not.” Allison nodded after I spoke
“And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives.”
Beside me y/n sighed and reached in to grab a cupcake.
“Well, they're all locked up because they're insane.”
y/n reached across the table and snagged the cupcake from out of Issac’s hand. “If you're not going to be helpful you don't get to eat the product of my stress, okay? new rule.”
I laughed as Issac put his head down in defeat “Could you at least try to be helpful, please” I begged him with a pen in my hand before he looked back at me and responded.
“For half my childhood I was locked in a freezer. So being helpful is kind of a new thing for me”
“We're still milking that?” I received a sharp slap on the arm from my girlfriend who handed the cupcake back to Issac.
“Boys please stop fighting, we have a guest” She gestured toward Kira and offered her a cupcake.
“I couldn't help overhearing what you guys are talking about.” We all shuffled to make room for her on the bench as she continued. Scott looked like he was enthralled with absolutely everything she said as she talked about Bardo and death.
“Hold on, wrathful deities, what are those?” I focused back into the conversion as she explained.
“Oh, like demons.”
“Demons? Why not?” I received another sharp slap to the arm by y/n who was trying her best not to offer her another cupcake as she explained the final stage. When she reached the word death I almost spit out my frosting.
“Death, really? First demons, now death, lovely, just great.” y/n flared her arms around as she said it and picked her bag up, placing it back on her shoulders. Kira left the table when her dad entered the courtyard and y/n looked over at Scott.
“I think It's time we see what Deaton knows.”
~~
y/n POV
As soon as I heard death and demons were on the table, I insisted that Scott, Stiles and I head over to the vet clinic. I may be a talented researcher, but I'd say this calls for a little more expertise. Stiles explained to us and Deaton what he saw while he was “asleep” in class this morning, how everyone there was using sign language.
“Well, it sounds like your subconscious is trying to communicate with you”
“Oh, of course, because that's a thing now too” I nodded and crossed my arms as we followed Deaton to the back.
“How do I tell my subconscious to use a language I actually know?”
“Do you remember what the signs looked like?”
“You know sign language?”
“A little.”
Stiles did the moves slowly, one by one. When is a door not a door.
“Oh, I know this one!” I shouted “When it's ajar, get it?” I turned around enthusiastically to see the boys nodding slowly. Well, that's embarrassing.
“My subconscious wants to tell me a riddle?”
“And not a very good one at that” I noted as Deaton tried to explain.
“...You essentially opened a door into your mind.”
“That sounds bad. Like, really bad.” Deaton nodded at me
“So, then how do we close it?”Stiles looked at me and then at Deaton.
“He's doing the same face you do when you're about to completely make up an answer in class that sounds smart but doesn't actually answer the question.”
I scowled at Stiles and rolled my eyes. I muttered under my breath, “I do not do that!”
“The only thing I know is that having a door like that open is not good.”
We left his office quickly and walked out to Stiles' jeep where there was another car waiting. His dad stepped out in his full sheriff's uniform and looked at the three of us.
“I need some help, well actually, your help” He pointed at Scott, explained and Stiles and I hopped into the jeep, promising to meet them there. When we were finally alone in his car with the radio playing quietly in the background I looked up and asked him,
“So, how are we planning on closing that door?”
~~
Stiles POV
Once we got to the Tate’s house we parked just up the road and met Scott there where my dad had dropped him off after explaining to him what we had to do. The house was on the edge of town essentially in the middle of nowhere, a beautiful little farmhouse in sad disrepair. Carefully we snuck up to a back door. With barely even a touch to the handle it was already creaking and groaning as if it hadn't been opened in years. Which, upon further thought, it probably hadn't.
“Stiles!” Scott scolded me for the noise. Silently I held my hands up and continued to slowly open the creaking door until all three of us managed to get inside. As soon as I closed the door behind me I felt y/n/n grab onto my arm.
“Um, guys?” Scott and I both turned around to find a large rottweiler staring back at us.
“Nice puppy, good good… boy” I whispered to it
“Scott, do something!”
“What do you want me to do, it's not mine?!” the dog began to bark unexpectedly, backing up as it did so to a doorway leading away from the room we were in.
“You're the alpha here Scott you can certainly do more than either of us could!”
Suddenly a yell came from the kitchen, a deep low man's voice calling out to the dog. Within a moment the dog ran out, following the voice and ceased it’s barking.
“God. no wonder I can't get a scent on anything in here. It all smells like dog hair.”
Again on our way out we struggled with the door, somehow leaving without too much sound alerting the man we saw wave from his front porch as we all hid in a bush at the end of the driveway. My dad pulled over halfway down the street towards my jeep and jumped out of the car. My dad was always stressed. I mean he’s the sheriff of a town with probably the most supernatural events in the US, I mean not that I have data on that or anything. But now he was under a different kind, a more urgent kind that I hadn't seen in him since my mom died.
“Did you get anything?”
“No, sorry sheriff. Maybe if it had been more recent…” Scott trailed off as my dad put his head in his hands and blew out a breath.
“No, no, don't apologize, I shouldn’t have done it anyways. This poor man was hurting enough before I went in and ripped a wound back open for him.” he pinched the bridge of his nose “Thank you, anyways, for trying. I’ll see you two at home.”
y/n/n and I nodded as he drove away towards town, leaving the three of us with Roscoe.
“Is your dad okay? I swear I've never seen him this stressed about a case, he's seen plenty go unsolved.” y/n took my hand as we got back into the jeep, Scott taking his place in the normal passenger seat with my girl in between us.
“Yeah, I think he just wanted to solve one last one, ya know, while he's still sheriff.”
y/n looked knowingly at me and gave my hand a squeeze but Scott stopped and turned his body to look at me.
“What do you mean ‘while he's still sheriff?’”
~~
y/n POV
After what ended up being a rather quick explanation, Stiles and I dropped Scott off at his house before heading home.
“Well, considering everything, I think he took it alright.” we walked up the stairs to Stiles' room both thinking of the look on Scott’s face when we had to tell him his dad was back in town.
“I don't know. The look he gave when he saw the car in his driveway? I don't think it’ll be a smooth night for any of us today.”
The both of us collapsed on his bed in a heap, I put a hand on his arm to soothingly drag it up and down, hoping that eventually he would begin to tire out. Not tonight though. We stayed in our clothes from the day, laying there next to each other. I desperately tried to get him to at least relax in the bed, but every single part of him that wasn't touching me was taught and tense. Finally around one in the morning we heard someone coming up the stairs. The door to Stiles' room suddenly opened and the both of us picked up our heads to see Scott standing there with a flashlight in his hand.
“We’re going to go find a body. A dead one.”
Ten minutes later despite my protest that Stiles needed to sleep and his protest that I was being dramatic we again ended up in the woods outside the Tate house, searching for the car reck from nearly ten years ago.
“Scott, do you even know what we are looking for? No offense but I have been dragged out of bed at an ungodly hour and I would at least like it to be worth something.”
“No offense? Sounded like you mean just a little offense.” Stiles chuckled ahead of me.
“Well it should be somewhere right ahead-” he didn't get the chance to finish before we crested a hill and saw what lay on the other side. A car, almost half in the ground by now, metal and debris laying all around it.
“Why wouldn't they move it? Isn't this evidence?” Scott walked around the wreck, leaving me and Stiles lagging behind with the flashlight.
“I guess it was just too much of a hassle for them to bother.”
The three of us finally made it to the edge of the car. Rust was obscuring most of what used to be a fine model of sedan but now was nothing more than trash in a swamp. We held the flashlight closer to the door, finally seeing the claw marks that the sheriff had been talking about. Scott put his hand for comparison right on top of the marks.
“They match.” he said “Almost perfectly.”
We moved on to shining the light inside the broken windows and doors of the car, something catching Stiles' eye as he handed the light to me.
“What is that?” He reached his hand inside the car and pulled out an old baby doll, clothes torn and marks all over the plastic flesh. He held it up between us for Scott to look as I took a step back from it.
“God that things-”
“Mama! Mama!” suddenly the little devil doll spoke from Stiles hands and he tossed it so far that I couldn't see where it had landed. In the process he had also clearly hit Scott square in the face and jumped about a mile high.
“I think I just had a minor heart attack”
“Minor!? Stiles you just pushed Scott into a rock wall!” Suddenly Scott swatted both of our arms and out a finger to his lips.
“Quiet! Both of you, quiet!. Do you see that?” he pointed up toward the hill, but his vision was better than ours, it took us a second too long to find what he had been pointing at. By the time that second was over, Scott had made a dash for the top of the hill running towards the blue eyed Coyote, and leaving Stiles and I in the dust.
The Void
I am officially ready to share with you all my rewrite in progress of season 3B!!! I am finishing up the writing of all episodes at the moment but thought i should at least share a little of episode one.
Summary: A door has been opened and the pack struggles to find normalcy.
Warnings: sleep deprivation, nightmares, swearing, sci-fi
word count: 3.6 k
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Episode One: Part One
SCENE ONE
y/n POV
My morning began the same as it had the past couple of weeks, with a ringing of my phone at close to 2:00 AM. I didn't even need to look at the caller ID to know who it was. It was Stiles' dad. Every day this week he had called me sometime in the night, tired and scared, and upset that he couldn't do anything to comfort his son. Every night I would drag myself out of bed, throw on a big sweatshirt and jog over to his house that was barely a block from mine.
I picked up the phone quickly to hear the tired shariff on the other side.
“Hey shariff, need me to come over?”
“I'm so sorry to bother you again, I tried tonight, I really did but-”
“No need to apologize, it's not your fault, I'll be over in a few minutes” He thanked me and hung up.
So just like every other night this week, I threw on a sweatshirt and my crocs and jogged the block to Stiles house, taking the key out from under the mat and unlocking the front door. I closed and locked the door behind me swiftly and jogged up the stairs toward Stiles’ room. As soon as I got near the stairs I could hear him calling out in his sleep.
“No! No, don't! Please! Let me out!” As I got closer I could hear the sheriff too, shushing Stiles as best he could and begging him to wake up. I opened the door and smiled sadly to Stiles’ dad before taking a seat next to him on the bed. I climbed in behind Stiles and dragged him upright while holding him.
“Stiles! Stiles wake up, it's me! It's y/n.” I half yelled it while I held him, my muscles tensing in preparation for the response I knew I would get. His eyes flung open when he heard my voice and he started to thrash around, grasping anything he could and finally taking a firm hold of my arms around his shoulders. He stopped screaming but I could feel the cold sweat on his back and he was shaking badly. His dad looked at us both and patted his son on the leg gently.
“Looks like you got this, goodnight you two” He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and padding down the hallway to his own bed. I tightened my grip on Stiles as his hands fell from my arms and went to rub his head.
“It's not real. None of it is real. This isn't real.” I kissed his temple and looked down at him.
“I'm real Stiles, I promise. I'm here and I'm real” He was still shaking and started to get even more agitated.
“This isn't real. Wake up Stiles. Wake up Stiles!” He started to scream and thrash again, worse than before. As he broke from my grip I managed to snag his hand in one of mine.
“Stiles, look at me! Look at me! Remember what we talked about, remember how you know it's real?”
“F-fingers”
“That's right, that's right, fingers, you count your fingers” He stopped trying to walk away and kept his hand in mine.
“Y-you have extra, in dreams”
“That's right Stiles. So count with me okay? Count with me” He sat down on the edge of the bed as I held my hand up for him to see, lifting one finger at a time as he counted shakily beside me. When we got to ten he let out a big breath and pulled me into a tight hug.
“It's okay now, you're okay.”
After a bit of persuasion I managed to convince him to go back to sleep, with one condition, that I stay close. As if I would ever leave. He got under the covers first and I followed, both of us laying on our sides facing each other. After a minute of looking into his eyes I could see them cloud with exhaustion. He turned onto his back and I stayed on my side facing him, moving myself up a little so that my hand could reach his hair. I ran one hand through his hair while the other layed softly on his chest, feeling his breathing begin to slow. As he finally fell asleep I kept stroking his hair, kissing it softly and placing my head on his chest next to my hand.
“Goodnight, Stiles”
~~
Stiles POV
The last thing I could remember was her hand going to my head, stroking my hair and running it through softly as I began to fall asleep. When I woke up I had my arms wrapped tightly around her and my face buried in her soft brown hair. She was wearing a sweatshirt of mine that she must have thrown on before coming over last night. My dad knocked on the door lightly before opening it just a crack.
“Time to wake up kiddos, I know you had a tough night but you still have school to get to”
“Yeah, got it, thanks dad” He walked away but left the door open a crack, baiting me to get out of bed and close it.
I looked over at y/n, her mouth was parted slightly and her hair covered most of her face. She was clinging to one of my arms in front of her chest, hugging it to her tightly. I moved the hair out of her face and kissed her softly on the cheek.
“Hey, y/n/n. You gotta wake up.” She mumbled something incoherent and pawed at my arm dragging it so that it was back around her body.
“Schools not important, sleep on the other hand…” she trailed off and kept her eyes closed.
“Oh come on miss ‘B- counts as failure’ I know you never skip, plus, first period is your AP anatomy class and I know you love that one.” She shot upright and flung my arm off of her in the process.
“I hate that you know me that well. And where did you get my schedule?!” I laughed and hopped out of bed, moving over to my drawers and grabbing a sweatshirt for myself and a shirt of mine for her. I tossed it at her as I walked toward the bathroom.
“What am I supposed to do with this?!” I closed the door behind me and shouted from the hall.
“Be creative!” as I walked to the bathroom I saw my dad walking out of his room carrying a file box. When I looked at the side for a second I realized I couldn't read what it said. No, no, this is real, this has to be real.
“You okay?” I looked up at him and responded in a very unconvincing voice.
“W-what, oh, yeah, yeah fine. What's in the box?” He looked back at me skeptically but didn't press further.
“Just some files from the office.” I looked down at the box again, relieved to find that I could read it this time. It's real, it's real.
“It says do not remove.”
“Yeah, well, I'm the sheriff, so…” I nodded silently and edged past him to the bathroom. When I got back to my room I found that y/n had in fact, ‘been creative’. She was still wearing her athletic shorts that she always sleeps in, but had taken my shirt and somehow made one of those knot things at the bottom so that it fit her perfectly. Then again, I think she looks perfect in everything.
“Hey, you ready?” I nodded and grabbed both of our bags, throwing them in the backseat of roscoe and starting it up without issue. I closed my eyes for a split second before driving off, trying as hard as I could to convince myself that it was real.
~~
y/n POV
Throughout the drive to school I could see nervousness in Stiles. He wasn't going to talk about last night, at least not for a little bit. As we drove in silence he placed a hand on my thigh and tapped one of his fingers quickly on my leg like he always does when he's anxious.
“I think we should tell them” I looked up at him from my phone which was showing several messages from the rest of the pack, specifically Allison and Lydia. They both had texted up a storm with me this morning, coming to me separately for explanations of their own supernatural-ish issues. I hadn't told Stiles, but now that I know something is going on with all three of them, it seems like the right thing to do.
“Stiles, Allison and Scott are both having issues too, just like Deaton said you would.”
“He didn't say I was going to go out of my mind, y/n, he said that I would feel like something is missing.”
“And don't you? feel like something is missing?”
“The only thing I'm missing right now is sleep. For all we know this could just be normal teenage stress for once, right?” I looked back at him sternly.
“Stiles, I love you more than almost anyone else on this planet, but this is Beacon Hills. There is no normal teenage stress here” He laughed lightly and nodded at me.
“Fine, but just Lydia for now okay? We can tell the rest later.” I agreed and texted Lydia right away.
She responded saying that she knew at least some of the story already, Allison had found her as soon as she had gotten to school, asking for yet another opinion on her recent hallucinations. When I told her about Scott though, she was surprised, noting right away along with me that this could not be normal.
When we reached the school and parked I took Stiles' hand and squeezed it, trying my best to reassure him as we walked through the underpass towards the stairs. I could faintly see Scott glancing nervously over his shoulder as he ran down them. I called out to him but got no response and Stiles gave me a quick look before unlinking our hands and rushing toward Scott, catching his shoulder just as he got down the stairs.
“Are you okay?” I walked up from behind him and noticed the faint glint of sweat on Scotts face.
“You don’t look alright Scott.”
“You're seeing things too aren't you?” Stiles gulped and exchanged a glance with me before Scott continued.
“I'm okay.”
“No you're not. It's happening to you too. You're seeing things aren't you?”
“How did you know?” Stiles shrugged with a single shoulder as Lydia and Allison walked up from behind me.
“Because it's happening to all three of you.” I smiled at Lydia and Allison relieved that the two of them were finally here.
I love the boys, but to be honest they can be a lot to handle for one person, especially one person without her two best friends. The boys continued to look at eachother with confused faces. I linked my arm with one of Lydia’s and laughed a little.
“They’d be lost without us, huh Lyds?”Arm in arm we pushed open the doors to the school, the three others walking behind us somberly
“Well, look who's no longer the crazy one.” I laughed with her and continued walking until we got to our lockers, all of them next to each other mid way down the hall. Stiles walked up next to me again and raised his eyebrows.
“Could you two please stop enjoying this so much?”
“Stiles, do you really think I enjoy being bombarded with texts and constantly having to fix you three up? Honestly?” He rolled his eyes at me and kissed me on the head before moving to close the circle of our friends all standing around one locker.
“Well we did die and come back to life, that has to have some side effects right?” Scott looked directly at me as he said it, leading the rest of them to do the same.
“Nuh- uh. No way. Nope, I know that look, that's the ‘she knows all the answers and if she doesn't she'll find them’ look. Guys the last time I did that I almost failed my real classes. Oh yeah, and almost died too, remember that!?” Scott brought out his puppy eyes as did Stiles who made a horribly convincing pouty face along with it. “Fine. but you guys have to pay for my snacks.”
~~
Stiles POV
As the day went on I started to realize just how off everything was. It was like the one thing in each of us that was normally our strongest point, was suddenly a weakness. Throughout the day the pack group chat was flooded with messages, everyone either checking in to make sure no one had gone completely nuts, or reporting that they had already done so. Lydia texted about Allison not having a steady hand, Scott about how for a second he thought he saw red in his eyes. Every once and a while I would look at something only to realize I couldn't tell what it said. The only thing to convince me that I wasn't dreaming was the trick that y/n taught me. Every class we had together she would check in on me constantly, when we were far away she would mouth things to me or just hold up an open hand, counting silently as she lowered each finger. When the day was finally over all of us had started to feel like it was too late, like we had already gone crazy and there was nothing we could do about it.
“Maybe we just need a little more time to get back to normal” standing in front of my locker I tried to keep up my conversation with Scott as he stood on my left with y/n just next to me on the other side.
“Try not to forget all three of you hit the reset button totally and completely”
“Yup. on a supernatural beacon. In a supernatural town.” I finished her sentence as I began to unlock my locker.
“I'd say there's a pretty good chance nothing is ever going to go back to normal.” I looked up to Scott who may not have walked away, but was clearly not paying attention.
When I looked back down at the lock and tried to open it, it wouldn't budge. I looked closer to find that yet again I couldn't tell what any of it meant. I felt like I must have been reading a different language.
“What?” I said it faintly as I messed with the lock, staring at it intently and trying with sheer will to make it go back to what it was before. y/n put a hand on my arm as she noticed me staring at it.
“Something wrong?” I looked up at her and said nothing but when I managed to look down again the numbers had gone back to normal. Scott was looking off down the hallway towards the new girl from our class, Kira. All of a sudden y/n grabbed my arm and yanked it so I was facing directly toward Scott.
“Scott.” She said his name forcefully but he paid her no attention. I finally noticed what she was doing as I saw the red gleam in his eyes.
“Woah, dude, your eyes.” He shook his head slightly so he was looking at me. Oh god. They were red. Completely, and undeniably red.
“What about them?”
“Scott they are glowing like red, very not naturally glowing!” y/n blurted out from behind me and moved so that he was blocked from view. His red eyes widened
“Like now, right now?”
“Yes Scotty, right now! Stop that!” y/n and I exchanged nervous glances and forcefully covered his face with our hands.
“I can't control it!”I exchanged another look with the girl beside me before bending Scott over and covering him completely. She understood right away what I was trying to do and pointed to an open door across the hall.
“Alright move, everyone move. We got a puker over here!” she said the first part to just me and then raised her voice as she pushed me and Scott across the hall and into the room shutting the door behind us and closing the blinds.
~~
y/n POV
I pulled the door shut behind me quickly and shut the blinds. When I looked back I found Stiles hovering slightly over Scott, obscuring him from my view.
“Stiles, back up” As soon as I noticed Scotts fangs coming out I reached for Stiles and warned him. I was there at the beginning before Scott could control his transformation, and I remember just how dangerous it is to be too close to him. I yanked Stiles back by the arm and Scott began to straighten out and growl.
“Scott, it's okay.” I held onto his arm still as he talked to Scott and he tried to hide me behind him, pushing me closer toward the chalkboard.
“Stiles, he needs to focus. Pain, Stiles, pain makes him human.” A light went off in his eyes as I said it and still holding me back behind him he yelled to Scott.
“Scott, pain makes you human, if you can't control it, use pain!” Scott straightened quickly and held up both of his fists in balls, pressing his sharp claws into his palms, blood pouring from them.
“Oh god I think I'm gonna…” As Stiles trailed off his sentence he stumbled backwards towards me and then passed out on the floor.
“Honestly Stiles?”
Scott screamed out as the blood continued to pool on the ground at his feet until finally he crumpled to the ground, human. I shook Stiles awake and slid his backpack off of his shoulders.
“Stiles go grab my med kit from my bag. Pain may make you human, but being human means no speed healing.” I carefully walked toward Scott and kneeled on the floor in front of him. He was breathing heavily,
though I think more from the pain of his very human wounds than from the effort of keeping himself that way. Stiles came back to me with my med kit and sat down beside me, looking away as his face started to turn white again.
“It isn't in your head. Either of you.” I started to bandage up Scotts hands without saying another word.
“It's starting to get bad for me too” Stiles spoke up from behind me, finally looking back toward Scott as I cleaned up all the blood.
“It's not just nightmares anymore. I'm having dreams where either she-” he gestured back at me with one hand,“Is the only person who can wake me up, or I just have to scream myself awake. Sometimes I don't even know if i'm actually waking up” I could hear the fear and exhaustion in his voice, the weeks full of lack of sleep and keeping it from his best friend had finally gotten to him.
“When y/n was teaching me tricks on how to tell if it's a dream I found something. Apparently you can't read in dreams. More and more the past few days I haven't been able to read.” I stopped dead in my tracks and looked back at him. He hadn't told me.
“Stiles?” He continued on without explaining to me, but I kept my eyes on him.
“It's like I can't put the letters in order or something. Like it's a whole different language.” Scott looked up from his hands curiously.
“Like even now?”
“I can't read a thing.” Scott stood up and gave me a knowing look.
“I'm going to go talk to Deaton, maybe he knows something about what's happening to us. You'd text me if anything else happens right?”
“If he doesn't, you know I will. If he tells me that is.” I tried my best not to sound bitter or angry.
But I failed. A little. Scott nodded and walked out of the room, leaving behind only the packaging from his bandages. I bent down to pick them up and waited until I heard the door close to stand back up and look at Stiles.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“Well it only started happening a few days ago so…” He trailed off and looked uncomfortably down at his hands, fiddling with them and refusing to look me in the eye.
“Stiles, I've been to your house every night this week. Not to mention there hasn't been a day in the past month when I haven't seen or talked to you. So, really, why?” He sniffled and tried to cover the tear that fell down his cheek.
“I don't know, I just- you've done so much for me already, For all of us, and I just didn't want to put one more thing on you”
“I do all that because I love you guys. You're my family. I would do anything to keep you all safe and happy, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me.” He finally looked up from fidgeting with his hands and I could see the tears now freely falling down his face.
The dark circles under his eyes made it only more prominent and he looked like he could break at any moment. I gestured for him to come over to me and pulled him into a hug.
“It's been a hard couple of days, huh?” He nodded into the crook of my neck and sniffled.
“I just- I feel like I'm losing my mind!”
“Stiles, look at me.” He pulled his head from my neck but kept his arms wrapped around my waist as his hazel eyes found mine.
“Stiles, you died and came back to life in front of my eyes. So if you are losing your mind- and if anyone it’s more likely to be me- then we'll deal with it, just like we deal with everything.”
The Fight
Final
Summary: the aftermath of Jacob’s injury leaves them wondering where they stand
warnings: relationship hashing, fluff, injury, swearing probably
words: 1k
A/N: final part of this series!!!! Don’t you worry I have more in the works to come later on, for now if you like Teen wolf, stay tuned...
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Seconds later Carlisle opened the door of the house and this time no one tried to stop me as I bolted inside. I collapsed on the floor next to his bed, laying my head beside his shoulder. He was pale and gleaming with sweat, whole body shaking despite being covered in bandages and blankets. Carlisle stood at the door for a moment.
“He's been asking for you. I gave him some morphine to help with the pain but-” I lifted my head and turned to him.
“He’ll just burn it off.”
“I'm going to come back in an hour to set up a drip.” he turned to leave but I grabbed his hand.
“Thank you. Thank you for not leaving him alone.” he left with a smile and I returned to Jake's bedside. He was grinning stupidly at me through all the pain.
“God Jake, i'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean-” he moved his head slightly so that his feverish skin was touching my own.
“I know. I know. I'm sorry I went with her, I never should have left you alone.” I kissed him lightly and tore myself away to look at the damage done to his body. His good arm shakily reached out and grabbed my hand.
“You were right.” I left my lips resting on his forehead, whispering into his skin.
“What do you mean”
“Last night, you were right. I’ve known for months too. You can feel it, can’t you. Like a tether. I felt it. I've always felt it.”
“I knew that you were in danger, I could feel it. I could tell you were being hard on yourself too.” I told him quietly
“You idiot.” he looked deep into my eyes before pressing his forehead against my own.
“Yeah. I guess I am, huh.”
*several days later*
“Jake! Jacob, don't you dare-”
“I'm fine!”
“Jacob sit your ass back down right now or I swear-” I stopped yelling from the kitchen when I saw him standing. Too late now. The past few days we hadn't left the house at all. While I took care of Jacob and tended to the other injured wolves Billy had been staying with the Clearwater’s. Now that all the other wolves were healed it was only Jake and I in the house. I walked over to him quickly, seeing the sheen of sweat that arose almost seconds after he stood. The muscles in his legs were trembling with the effort of keeping him upright. They say doctors make the worst patients, I’d like to one up that. Werewolves unequivocally make the worst patients. Case and point, Jacob Black.
“Here, just take my arm.” I reached out to him and felt his warm hands grasp onto my bicep.
“I told you not-”
“I know, don't get up unless I'm with you. I know. I just want to be helpful.” I sighed as I helped lower him back to a seated position on the bed.
“You don't need to be helpful right now, Jacob, you need to heal.” Once he was seated I bustled around the room, grabbing trash and tidying up as I spoke.
“I promise, once you are all healed up you can help me with everything, but for right now just-”
“Tell me again why I can't phase and heal within minutes?” I sat down beside him with clean bandages in my hands.
“Because Jake, it's too risky. If you phase too fast, or too slow, or even inch the wrong way one of the bones could shift and then it would heal the wrong way and then we’re right back where we started. Okay? Just please listen to me and stop trying to do everything all at once.”
After being forced to stay in the house for days on end Jacob and I were beginning to get frustrated. We still haven't really talked about all I said that night. The both of us have been avoiding it like the plague, but-
“We need to talk.” I refused to look him in the eye as I trapped him into the conversation by removing his bandages and beginning to replace them.
“y/n/n-”
“Jake I cant keep doing this okay? I'm tired and I'm scared, and-” I started to choke up. He placed a hand on mine and then moved it to tilt my chin up so that I was looking at him.
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should never have made you feel the way I did. I should never have ignored… this. I was scared too, I don't know what to do or if we have to do anything. I know that's no excuse but-”
“Jacob all I wanted was for you to tell me. I didn't care if you didn't want it, I didn't care if you went with Bella anyways I just wanted you to talk to me.” He brushed a tear off of my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“We've known each other our entire lives, never once have you ignored me like you did.” He bit the corner of his cheek.
“I know. I know.” I continued changing the bandages around his ribs before he spoke again.
“It doesn't have to be so scary.” I looked up while I secured the bandage
“No?”
“Think about it. Some people go their entire lives never knowing if they’ll find the one. We might be young and this might all be new, but, I know I'll never ever let you go through anything alone ever again. And I think I might be right in saying you feel the same.” I took his hand,
“Of course I do. So what do we do now?” He laughed and kissed the top of my head.
“Now we live the rest of our lives together. And maybe, do some other stuff along the way.” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“Yeah alright macho man, let's get you to walk first, okay? Besides, I think you've forgotten one thing.”
“Yeah? And what's that?”
“I haven't even said yes just yet.”
Perhaps needless to say, I did say yes, just moments later. But now the hard part began.
A Normal? Day
Summary: A normal day in the life of Beacon Hills Favorite Couple
Warnings: unbearable Fluff, plot points that wont make sense just yet
Word Count: 1.6k
A/N: I realized I dont have any of my Stiles work updated yet! This is just a short little oneshot to show people what my stiles writing will kind of be like. I wrote it to be included in a season rewrite that I am doing but It didnt fit great so now im just giving it to you for fun!
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*somethings that wont make sense to you will be explained if you go read my series rewrite in the next few weeks!*
A normal day in a supernatural world.
Step one, wake up.
Waking up is a long process for me. My lovely hyperactive boyfriend did what he always does for me each morning, wake up about thirty minutes before me, sit there as still as he can (which is not very still) to let me sleep in, give up after ten minutes and then get out of bed. Stiles woke up at six this morning, playing with my hair as I slept before he finally got out of bed. Like every morning since we started doing this, he placed his pillow and a spare flannel in my arms so I wouldn't ‘get cold and lonely’, and then went to get himself ready for school. This was a relatively short process, throw on some pants, decide between a sweatshirt or a flannel, find the backpack and then he's pretty much done. For me on the other hand, it's a little different.
“y/n/n, I gave you five extra minutes. You gotta get up.” I groaned and moved the pillow that was in my arms to cover my face. To my disappointment Stiles took it off and started peppering me with kisses until I opened my eyes with a scowl on my face.
“I love you but I really hate you.” He gave me a classic Stiles grin as he moved backwards off of the bed.
“I know, you make sure to tell me that every time I wake you up.”
After walking out the door, and then back to it within seconds to make sure I was actually getting up, Stiles went downstairs to make some coffee and left me to get ready. I was running late, per usual, but by the time I made it to the car all of my things were there waiting for me, along with Stiles who held out a travel cup of coffee just the way I like it and forcibly handed me a banana.
“Eat.” I shook my head and motioned for him to drive.
“Too early, If I eat right now I'll actually puke all over your car.” He started the car and drove with one hand as he kept the banana extended.
“Babe, we do this every morning and every morning I remind you that-” I snatched the fruit from his hand as I finished his sentence.
“Breakfast is important and if you don't eat it in three hours you're going to come to me during class with a panicked look on your face telling me you think you're about to pass out. I know, I remember.”
I sound sarcastic like this every morning, but even through the snide remarks and the occasional unnecessary and undeserved insult, Stiles still looks at me like I'm the answer to the universe.
Step two, school. For this one I recommend that you don’t do what I manage to do every year, fill your schedule with all honors and AP classes, zero breaks or study halls, and more than three extra-curriculars.
I won't bore you with the rather slow details of a highschool senior. I will however give you this, classes are hard, I don't think I will ever be able to use a red pen in my entire life, and with each passing day somehow I find a way to be even more stressed than the day before.
The day ended with me sitting on a bench with Lydia and Malia, watching our boys play lacrosse from across the field and inevitably laughing our asses off whenever either of them would look over to make a face at us and get tackled or hit with something from the field. Ah the simple pleasures, you know? As we both waited for Stiles and Scott, Lydia and I spread our various school textbooks out on the bench in front of us, in all about sixteen heavy books set open as we studied. When Coach finally blew his whistle with one ear shattering blow after another the boys ran to us, practically dripping in sweat. Stiles bound up the bleachers, skipping some of the steps and leaned down in front of me, waiting for a kiss. I didn't look up from my textbook, and neither did Lydia as she responded to the boys while hovering over her calculus homework.
“Nice try boys, but before you even think about going anywhere but a dog kennel, you need to take showers.” There were a few mumbled protests but again without looking up she shooed them with her hands.
“Come on, off you go.” I giggled a little as they marched away in defeat, their cleats making a crunching sound when they reached the grass.
Step three, finally to get home, only to have to go to a pack meeting.
Like every other Friday the pack all met in Scotts living room, this time all agreeing to stay away from anything breakable. I promised Melissa I wouldn't let them destroy the house while she was out, and I keep my promises. At the moment there were no big problems. Though I still wince a little when I say it, it seems like everything in Beacon Hills is… normal. As weird as that sounds. But we still meet once a week, every week it becomes more of a group study/hangout than a real meeting, but spending time with our friends was more valuable than any solution we had come up with before. The only issue to discuss at this meeting was me. I wouldn't call it an issue exactly, but after finding out about my… species? People? Clan? I don't know what to call it, but after finding out about what I am, we still have almost no information about what that really means, for me or for them.
“Liam, as much as I appreciate the input, I don’t think being a truth seeker literally means that I can cheat on multiple choice tests. Even if it did, morally I will tell you again, cheating is a bad thing, and also none of my classes use multiple choice.”
They all tried their best to put Stiles and I at ease, telling us that in time we would figure it all out. But that was the thing, we didn't have time. We’re seniors just a few months from leaving this town for college, and once I leave I don't see myself flying across the country once a week just so that I can make sure I know the “truth” of Beacon Hills. The sun finally set and Stiles and I said our goodbyes, walking hand in hand out the jeep before heading to his house for the night.
Step four, stay up until three in the morning looking for answers about what supernatural powers you have. yeah , I know, that one's a kicker.
As soon as Stiles and I stepped foot in the door of his room we threw off our bags and changed into sweatpants. I took the flannel he gave to me this morning and placed it over my tank top as we stood in front of his clear board as if waiting for an idea to come to us by itself. The board was still blank, nothing there but a picture of me and Stiles together at the lookout in the woods. A little reminder that no matter what crazy ideas are thrown onto this board, we always have each other. We settled into our usual spots, Stiles standing and pacing in the middle of the room while I spread books and papers out over his bed, laying on my stomach and staring into the pages.
Finally, Step five, wait for the full frustration to kick in, and then once it's there, find a cute boy to calm you down.
I was laying flat on my stomach with four books in front of me, two from school, two from Lydia on the supernatural. I was hoping that in between my AP calculus homework and my college physics textbook I could figure out something new about my identity. News flash, it wasn't working. I groaned at the words in front of me, frustrated that for some reason the letters were swimming in and out. I took the books (all four of them) and slammed them shut before throwing them aggressively onto the ground in front of Stile’s bed and then taking the papers and just tossing them onto the air without any thought of aim or purpose. Stiles stopped pacing and stood still in front of his board, which now had a few red squiggles here and there along with the photo and a horrible attempt at drawing a wolf. He turned slowly to me with a marker in his hands.
“You good?”
“Not really.” He nodded and walked over, sitting beside me on the edge of the bed and putting the marker down. While I was still lying on my stomach he placed a hand on my back and rubbed it slowly.
“baby, do you know what time it is right now?” I placed my head in my hands and responded.
“No. Do I want to?”
“No, but I'm going to tell you anyway. It's three in the morning.” I said nothing and just signed into my hands. Stiles ignored my angry sighs and continued.
“Babe do you know what that means?” I shook my head.
“Well first of all it means that you are probably exhausted, which is why you're getting so frustrated with yourself, but more importantly it means that we have two hours before that night time diner downtown closes.” I looked up fast.
“Are you talking about the one with the pie, and the fries and the shakes.” He looked at me very seriously and nodded. Without another word I popped up on the bed and threw on a pair of crocs.
“Stiles, no matter what I say in the mornings when you wake me up, I love you so much I think you might even be higher on my list than eating pie at three in the morning.” He gave me a broad smile and kissed me on the cheek.
“Say no more, love.”
The Fight
Part Three
Summary: Jacobs injury throws everything off course
Warnings: injury, vampires, blood, medicine, swearing, violence
Word Count: 1.3k
A/N: part three!! Part four is currently in the works and should be posted by friday!
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There were sounds.
Ones that I think will haunt me for the rest of my life. Ones I thought were something that you could only hear in the worst of nightmares. As I watched the vampire close its arms around Jacobs body I heard every single bone in him snap. Not like a twig in the grass but like rapid gunshots in a silent forest. A sound that cleaved my heart in two as I watched his body slowly shrink in size until he was lying on the ground naked and back in his human form, writhing in pain. I barely even registered the rest of the pack grabbing and disposing of the vampire behind Jacob. All I could manage to do was scream his name as I bolted for him.
The noises he was making were not even screams. There was so little left of him intact that he couldn't really form words. A sheen of sweat and grime was over his entire body. The man that usually towered over me was curled in on himself, looking like nothing more than an agonized young boy.
“Oh my god. Jake, Jacob, I'm right here okay? I'm right here!” His eyes were fluttering, only half open at most.
“Sam!” I screamed while never tearing my face from Jacob.
“Sam, we need to get him out of here!”
“God Jake, I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry, I never should have said-” Sam and the pack along with Carlisle and the vampires ran over to me and Jacob.
“We need to get him back, I need to take care of him” I was babbling, not really coherent as I screamed at them all to get us out of there.
“You’re going to be fine Jake, we’ll get you home, okay? I'm so sorry Jake” Carlisle suddenly grabbed my shoulder and turned my body to face him.
“y/n you can't go with Jacob now.” I threw off his hand as the pack lifted a screaming Jacob into the air, everyone struggling to keep him still.
“I'm going with him. He's hurt, he needs me, I have to go with him Carlisle.” he grabbed my arm again and forced me to look at him.
“y/n listen to me, Jacob is going to be fine! I will get to him as soon as I can, I promise. But the Volturi are coming and if they see injured wolves they will kill them. If you leave with Jacob right now you sentence all of them to death! Do you understand me? They will die without you.”
I looked back at the two human boys lying on the ground. Boys I’ve known for their entire lives. Carlisle was right. I centered myself. Shook off the panic and fear that had its hold on me and wiped the tears from my face. Sam and the pack were still holding Jacob in the air, as I walked over to them they lowered him slightly so that I could see his face. I could tell that he was only barely conscious, his eyes starting to roll into the back of his head. I grabbed his face with both of my hands.
“Jake, Jacob look at me! You're going to be fine, okay? I’ll meet you there soon, I promise. I'm so sorry Jake, I love you, I love you so much okay?”
I released his head and the boys looked at me sympathetically. Sam nodded to me once before they ran off with Jacob. Every part of me was screaming to go with them. But I needed to focus, I needed to save these boys and get them out of here fast. Carlisle helped me as I rushed around the three boys left on the field. Two in human form, one as a wolf. The both of us were doing anything that we could but we were starting to run out of time. We knew that if the Volturi even scented them within a mile of here they would be killed. I had to move now or I would lose them all. Quill was the only one of the three able to walk, and thankfully was able to carry the one boy who wasn't conscious on his tall back.
“Carlisle i'll do my best to get them far from here but-”
“I know. I'll do everything I can to keep them away. And I swear the moment they leave I will go to Jacob. I won't let him be alone.” I nodded to him gratefully before turning to Quill and Paul on his back.
Hunter, the young boy who was still in human form clung onto me as I helped him up from the ground. His leg was broken but healing fast thanks to his wolf genetics. Even so, as I ushered the boys into the woods and began to lead them toward home it was clear that he wouldn't be able to make it far. None of them could. Not with the injuries they had sustained. We made it barely a mile before Quill collapsed, Paul tumbling to the ground from his back. I looked around desperately for any sign of how close we were to being back at the village, but for all I could tell we were still two miles off. Instead I began to search for shelter, for anything to hide us from view and hopefully from scent until the Volturi pass.
“Hunter, help me with Paul, we need to cover all of you with this.” Hunter dragged Paul over to me as best as he could, straight into the pit of mud that I had found.
If I couldn't get them far away then I just needed to hide their scents until we could move again. Slowly I covered all three of the boys and then myself in a layer of mud. For my human nose it was overwhelming so I could only pray that it did the trick for the vampires. Once we were all covered I dragged everyone behind anything that would work as cover and waited for them to pass. They got so close to us I could hear their whispering voices as they ran through the woods to the clearing. So close I could have sworn I smelled the expensive italian perfume on Aro’s body. I waited an hour after they passed to move the boys again, and this time I didn't stop until we were there.
It was dark outside when we finally made it to the familiar group of houses in the woods. Most of the pack was gathered outside of Billy’s house but they quickly extended arms to help when they saw us arrive.
“Jake, where is ja-”
just as I began to ask I heard his scream pierce through the air. I took off running from the edge of the woods, straight for the front door. Just before I reached it several strong and warm hands reached out and stopped me in place.
“y/n, no.” I struggled against them as I cried out.
“You need to let me in! Let me help him!”
“We can't, y/n/n, I'm sorry.”
“Please! Please! Let me go in!” I started to collapse against them as the screams continued, they lowered me onto the same step that I had waited just the night before.
“Let me in. let me in. please.” I sobbed as Sam came up and slung an arm around me with tears in his eyes.
“I promised him you wouldn't see this y/n, I’m sorry”
“Please. Please”
“I promised you wouldn't go in” I sat there sniffing and crying in his arms while Jacob screamed inside. Every scream tore a new fit from me. By the time we all realized that the screaming had stopped I was an incoherent mess, covered in mud and tears on the ground. Sam gripped my arm again.
“It stopped. y/n, listen! It stopped.”
The Fight
Part 2
Summary: The day of the battle is here and y/n is struggling to focus
Warnings: injury, vampires, blood, medicine, swearing, violence
Word Count: 1k
A/N: Part two!! this one is a cliffhanger (not rlly if you’ve seen it) so I’ll have part three up tomorrow!
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By morning all of the wolves that could fight were up and gone. Emily and I along with a few others from the tribe went back to Billy’s house to wait for the all clear. Now that the day had finally arrived there were no more doubts or thoughts of Jacob in my head. Only pure determination. He would live. They would all live.
We spent the hours waiting in Billy’s living room, continuing to set up supplies and beds. Emily stayed in the kitchen, nervously baking an obscene amount of blueberry muffins. At some points she came in to check on the rest of us, handed us some food and then disappeared back into the warm and sweet smelling room she came from. I knew exactly how she was feeling. The deep dread in her stomach that wouldn't cease, at least not until we could see them again. Not until we could all lay our eyes on them and see that they are okay.
“How are you so calm?” she asked me when I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water.
“Who says I am?” I responded by giving her a weary smile and closing the fridge.
“I have work to do. As long as I know there is something to do I won't panic. Thinking about Jake and worrying about him won't help him right now, besides, I can feel it. I know he’s okay”
Emily wiped her hands on her apron and slowly approached me with a smile.
“When did you learn to be so wise, huh?” I gave her a long hug before going back out to the living room. Waiting. That's all I could do for now. Wait.
Two hours later the door slammed shut as a familiar young boy jogged in.
“Seth? What's going on, shouldn't you be on the mountain?” We all raced to meet him in the hallway, scanning every inch of him for scrapes or bruises as he slowed.
“A lot happened, there was this red headed blood sucker and I tried to jump her and then Jake ran down to fight and now Sam's yelling and-” Emily went to his side with water and a muffin before leading him to a chair.
“Breathe Seth. Slow down. You can tell us when you're ready.” he devoured the whole muffin in silence before he could speak again.
“Victoria came up to the mountain. Somehow she figured out Edwards' plan but by then Jacob had already ran to fight. After he heard-'' he paused clearly cursing himself like he said something he shouldn't have.
“Heard what?” he wouldn't look me in the eye.
“Heard what Seth? What did Jake hear?”
“Edward and Bella are engaged. As soon as he heard he ran off for the fight, I tried to stop him I swear but-”
Suddenly my hearing died out until all that was left was a buzz deep in my head. Jake ran off. He ran into the fight. He was already upset, already prone to being reckless and stupid. Now he's gone into battle. Slowly I focused myself and listened back into the conversation.
“What's Sam telling you, Seth? Is he okay?” Emily was still crouched by the young boy's side, now anxiously asking him about her mate.
“He's fine, tired but fine. He told me to come get sophie. He said the fighting has slowed enough, he needs your help. The pack needs you out there.”
I clenched my jaw and nodded.
“What are we waiting for then?” I ran to the door with Emily and Billy in my wake, handing me bags full of medical supplies, a jacket, a flashlight, anything they saw that they thought might be useful. Finally Seth and I stood outside, he ran towards the woods as I looked back to Billy.
“I'll bring him back, Billy, I promise”
~~~
I clung onto Seth's thick fur as he ran for the clearing in the woods. I could see fires burning all over in an attempt to kill the newborns. He dropped me right in front of a gray wolf lying on its side on the ground. There was a small marking behind the wolf's ear. Quill. It had to be Quill. The gash through his side was bleeding heavily, he must have gotten stuck in his wolf form because of how badly he was hurt. I placed a soothing hand on his ribs and looked into his eyes.
“It's alright Quill, you're going to be fine” I worked faster than ever before, stitching up his side and when I was finally finished and the bleeding had stopped I turned on my knees to find Sam staring back at me.
“Where is Jacob?” I had wanted to look for him the second that I got here, but after seeing the level of carnage all over it felt too selfish.
“I don't know” I stopped breathing.
“What do you mean you don’t know Sam?”
“He was on the field a minute ago, he was fighting, but I can't find him.”
“Is he alive?” I still held my breath with tears starting to come to my eyes.
“Yes. yes he's alive.” I took my first shaky breath as I turned back to Quill, stroking his fur and placing bandages over his wound. I could hear Sam slowly walking away, phasing just beyond my sight to speak with the other wolves. Then came a sound I didn't recognize. It wasn't the sound of a wolf, or a human or of anything I had heard before. Just as I turned my head I heard Edward shout,
“Leah no!” Time slowed as I saw the gray wolf try to grapple with the bloodsucker and then another sound. This one I knew in my very soul. A howl that I could recognize anywhere as a russet wolf leapt from the woods beyond Leah. I spun in place and started to stand as I screamed for him.
“Jacob, don't!” But I was already too late. Leah was thankfully knocked out of its grip as Jacob landed a blow, but the vampire was too quick even for him. I could almost hear Jasper's words from earlier in my mind.
Never let them get their arms around you
Jacob Black Masterlist
A compilation of any fics I have written involing Jacob Black or characters from the Twilight books/movies. I will be linking here asap after posting!
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Key: Fluff ☁️, angst 💧, smut 🔥
Oneshots- Fics over 1k words with only one chapter
Blurbs- Fics with one chapter under 1k- None So Far!
Multi-Chapter- anything with 2+ chapters
The Fight: ☁️, 💧💧, Tw: injury, blood, crying, violence, vampires - a series of rewrites based on the plot/ending scenes of Eclipse, can be read as standalones or in the series.
Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Asks- none so far!
The Fight
Summary: The night before the newborn battle, tensions between Jacob and y/n come to a head, will he choose to stay, or to go?
warnings: Injury, vampires, medicine, blood
Word count: 1.6k
A/N: hey yall! i’ve decided to do a sort of re write of the ending of eclipse and a few other scenes from the movies with a y/n x Jacob plot! All of them will be part of a larger series but can be read as standalones if you like. More to come soon!
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I stood outside of Jacob and Billy’s little house with Jake's big jacket over top of me. I hadn't even realized I was wearing it until I was standing here outside his door. The cracked red and brown of the door slowly opened to Jake's face, brows furrowed, tilting his head down to see me standing at the bottom step.
“y/n/n? What are you doing here?” He held the door partially open and for a second I wondered if he might not let me in. That I even had to consider that told me I was right to be here.
“It's freezing, come on, get inside” He closed the door behind me and helped me shrug off the oversized jacket of his that I was in, layers and layers of sweatshirts and long sleeves underneath. I stood there in the hall waiting for Billy to roll up and say hello until Jacob grabbed my hand and led me to the living room.
“He's not here, I dropped him off with the Clearwaters so he doesn't spend tonight all alone”
I kept my head facing down and waited for him to ask me again what I was doing here. I may have made the initiative to come but for some reason I hated the idea of being the first one to speak.
“y/n/n? What are you doing here?” I could have sworn I heard the wind outside stop as if it were catching its breath, waiting for me to answer.
“I can't let you go when we're like this, Jake. I can’t let myself move on and plan a fucking battle when you’ll barely even look me in the eye. If we are going to fight then I need to know what's waiting for me on the other side.” I didn't wait for him to respond or question me but just plowed ahead.
“I don't want you to go with Bella, Jake.”
“y/n I have-”
“No. No you don't- and let me finish- If this is going to be your last night, do you really want to spend it with her? Do you really want to put yourself through the pain of watching her and Edward together when you could be with me, with the pack that needs you? With your family?”
“I have a duty to protect her.”
“Protect her from what? What could you save her from that Edward can’t!” I didn't mean to raise my voice. But there it went.
“For christ's sake y/n, from Edward. Alright? I have to protect her from him!”
“Jacob, she loves him! Can't you just be happy loving me? Is that not enough for you? Why can't you just let her go?” He stopped. Head bowed down as a single tear ran down my cheek.
“It is enough.”
“Then why won't you stay?”
“y/n, it is enough-”
“You know these past few months I have been tearing myself into pieces.” I let the silence sink in before I finally let out the secret I had been carrying with me for so long.
“I know we’re imprints Jacob! For months I have been agonizing. Making sure that what I was feeling wasn't fake, waiting for you to man up and come to me, tell me yourself. Waiting for you to let yourself be happy. Not all of the women in your life are bound to die and leave you heartbroken and alone! Some of us want to stay! Some of us are here and alive now and love you! why can’t you just fucking see that?”
The second I said it I knew it was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. I should have just let him go.
But what if he dies tomorrow? What if he leaves tonight and the last thing I've said to him is this.
A familiar old car pulls into his driveway. The engine sputters out. Jake is already heading toward the door, silently telling me exactly what his answer is. He doesn't look at me. Doesn’t speak as he grabs a bag and slings it over his shoulder, puts a hand on the door.
“Jake-” and just like that he’s gone.
Alone in a house that smells like him I began to sob. How could I have said that to him? After knowing what I do? After being with him through all of the heartache and pain? What had I done?
But somehow I moved. I dragged out the supplies from Billy's closet. The ones I had brought along in my car. I moved around setting up cots and blankets and basins of water. I didn't stop until I barely recognized the room I was in earlier. A different hand knocked on the door. This time I knew who it was and at least I didn't have to dread this.
“Hey pup” Seth Clearwater walked through with a small backpack hanging from his hand.
“I told you, I'm not a pup, I'm practically full grown!” for the first time in hours my heart lifted a little.
“Mhm, you can tell that to the baby blanket in that bag of yours.”
The rest of the boys slowly trickled in through the night, everyone gathering at our new homemade sick bay. We decided to go back to Emily and Sams place for the night, spend the night there as a pack- as a family- and those of us that were not fighting would head back up in the morning. I dreaded being with them all night. I knew that all of them had heard what I said to Jake. Probably hated me for it more than I did. But not Emily. Never Emily.
“Oh baby. Sam told me what happened.” The second I stepped into the house she was on me, gripping me so hard I could barely breathe. I had thought I was going to be able to hold it together. I had done so well with all of the boys, even when they stared and frowned like they couldn't believe what I had said. Something about Emily always made me feel loved. Known. Like no matter what mistakes I made or stupid shit I did she would always be there to help me out of it. And she had been, at least so far.
“I can't believe myself, Em. God knows what's going to happen tomorrow and now I've gone and made him think about that? What was I thinking? What if I was wrong?”
“Hey. No, none of that, he knows you didn't mean it.” Sam entered as Emily released me and took the bag from my arms.
“Really? Is he saying that or are you just trying to distract me?” He laughed and kissed Em on the cheek.
“Really. Of course he's hurt but he could never hate you. He knows that you were just trying to keep him safe.”
A little knot in my heart unraveled at that. Hours of crying and wondering put to a stop by just one sentence. Thank god for wolf telepathy.
“Thank you, Sam. thank you.” He gave me a curt nod before heading to the kitchen with the other boys, probably going to eat all of whatever Emily made for dinner. She stopped me before I could walk off to the guest bedroom.
“Eat with us, please. I promise after that I'll let you go be alone for a while, but just tonight, I want us all to eat together, okay?”
A few minutes later we were sprawled out in the living room, paper plates filled with chicken and rice and corn all over the various surfaces. Despite what Sam had told me I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something going on with Jacob. Not just that he was mad at me for what I said, but something beyond that, something weird was happening on that mountain right now.
“What is it? What aren't you guys telling me right now?” they all looked over at me for a second, but turned their heads to Sam almost in an instant. The alpha looked back and was clearly having a silent conversation with the younger wolves before he nodded and began to speak.
“Jacob and Edward are…at odds.”
“Okay? They always are, that isn't something new, what's going on up there, Sam?”
“Jacob’s in bed with her. Just keeping her warm, I swear to you, but he knows that it would kill you to hear that.”
Boy was he right. It did kill me. All of that tension Sam had relieved earlier was right back again. A heavy sinking feeling in my chest. I was quiet for a moment while I looked out the windows at the dark woods.
“I think I'm going to go to bed. Don't tell Jake please, okay?” they nodded as I went off to the room.
Once I was alone there was no stopping the trails of tears down my face. Still fully clothed I fell onto the bed and could feel the warm sheets beneath my head begin to dampen with my tears. I could hear the pack laughing and conversing in the living room.
I was alone here, and terrified. Knowing that I was tied to him in every way possible. Knowing that he might not want to be tied to me. What would I do if he rejects this? This feeling inside me that never seems to dull no matter how angry I was or how far he goes. I would be alone again, so alone. While Jacob was with Bella, keeping her warm and safe, I was alone and cold in this bed, wondering what the next day would bring.
Coming Home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Final
Summary: Spencer deals with the news he has received
Warnings: Anxiety, crying, panic, trauma, self harm, suicide, death (past), injury, stalking, swearing, angst
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
words: 1.6k
A/N: The final Part!!!! again this one is pretty dark, but not quite as difficult or long as the last one. I cried yall.
*I do not own any CM characters
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Part 10
Spencer~
I must have sat there in silence for at least five minutes. I kept my hand on her back and tried to keep my own breathing calm. I know it's cliche to say I never thought it would happen to me. But it's true. Even in my line of work, you never think it'll happen to you, until it does. I stared at the dirt beneath my feet and wondered what question to ask first. When I finally lifted my head, hers was down, refusing to meet my face.
“So, Ben?” It wasn't the first on my list, but I knew the story hadn't ended just yet. She only stopped it there because she was too afraid, and I knew that feeling all too well.
“He received an envelope the same as mine two weeks before he killed himself.” My brain switched modes as she spoke. I went from boyfriend to profiler before I could really stop myself. I mean, anyone would in that situation right? It can't just be a coincidence.
“Did you know that-”
“That he was going to kill himself? No. he sent me pictures of his envelope just like I did when we were in highschool. We talked on the phone hours before. I've talked to people on the edge before, I've talked people off the edge before. He wasn't planning it. That I'm sure of.”
I thought back to the first night she stayed at my apartment. Before we moved in together, I think it was after about a month of dating that she slept there for the first time. I remembered how guarded she was at first. How she would always wear something that went at least down to her knees. That first night she put on a sweater of mine and for the first time I saw her scars. Not just on her legs, but on her torso as well. Long intentional, surgical scars. I never asked.
“y/n/n, those scars, were they from-” she cut me off again, hearing me say it seemed to be too much for her.
“Some of them are from the surgeries. Some aren't” the pain in her voice was too much. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. What I would do if I could get my hands on the man that did this-
“Let me find him.” it came out before I even knew I wanted to say it.
y/n~
I finally looked up.
“What?”
“Let me find the man who did this. Give me the word and I will have the whole team looking for him. Or just me, I don't care about who does it. Let me make sure that he can't take one more thing from you.”
The tears that I had just gotten to stop came back. I knew he would do that. I knew he would do anything to protect me. But to be honest, I didn’t feel like I deserved it.
“After all the lies that I've told to you? My best friend killed himself because of someone that only wanted to hurt me. How am I any better than he is?”
My lips trembled when I looked at Spencer. Even in all of the pain that he has been in, all of the emotions I'm sure he felt as I told him my story, he hadn’t cried. Not until now.
Spencer~
I had kept strong for her. As she first saw me, when she first heard me speak, when she told me of all that happened to her. But hearing her blame herself. Her pain was so evident. It broke my heart more than I knew was possible. I took my hand from her back and put it on her cheek so she had no choice but to look at me.
“You listen to me. This was not your fault, do you understand? You did not lie to me, you kept strong to protect me, to protect everyone! There was no way you could have known that after all this man had done to you he was going to hurt someone else! None of this is on you! I love you so, so, so much, and I'm so-” My voice cracked as I cried and trembled. “So sorry that you thought you had to do this alone. So please, please. Let me do this for you.”
She stayed quiet as she sobbed and trembled but finally nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut and I pulled her into me. I would die before letting anything else get to her.
__________
Eventually, after the both of us had laughed and wiped the snot and tears from each other's faces we hobbled back into the house where her sister was waiting.
“So?”
“I promise the both of you, I will find this man.”
She looked back at me and nodded before reaching out to y/n and pulling her into a hug.
“Good, it's about time someone did.”
I walked to the couch and pulled my phone from the hospital bag before calling Garcia.
“Boy wonder! You don't text, you don't call! Where have you been!” her voice made me smile, she was always a little light in the darkness.
“I know, I know, I'm sorry, I've been dealing with a lot. Garcia I need you to do something for me,”
“Anything, what do you need?”
“Can you get the rest of the team on the phone?”
“Hah, can I, of course I can! Who do you think you're talking to. Hold please.” She paused and I heard several other lines connect.
“Alright and here we are, Reid everyones on the line now”
“Thanks Garcia. I need everyone's help.”
_________
(3 month time jump)
y/n~
I waited anxiously on the large bed in Spencer and I’s room. My phone sat beside my leg and I nervously checked it every few seconds waiting for the call that could change my life.
Three months ago Spencer called his team and told them my story. He explained to them everything leading from when I was sixteen to the moment Spencer was shot. The team agreed to help the both of us and gathered as much information as they could. About one week ago Spencer got a call from Emily just after we had arrived back home in DC. -
“So?” I paced around our apartment anxiously as he set his phone down on the coffee table.
“They think they found him.” I stopped walking around right as the words came out of his mouth and gulped.
“Do you think-”
“It's him, y/n. It's him”-
And Spencer was right. It was him. They left that night for Maine. I fought and fought, trying to convince all of them, but in the end Spencer convinced me not to. -
“Spence you don’t understand! I have to go!”
“Look at me. I know how much this means to you, I do. You can not come with us. I can’t put you at risk like that!”
“Spencer the last time you were there you were shot! Five goddamn times!” He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed my hand from where he sat on the couch. He pulled me into his lap and looked me right in the eyes.
“I will get him, I promise. I will call you every hour and I will even stay with your sister if it means you don't come. Trust me, I want you with me every moment! But I want you alive more.”-
So, I stayed. He kept his promise to me. He called me every hour and never once did I hear the dreaded dial tone. He stayed with my sister and her husband and kids, and every time he came home, Lu would send me a picture of him with my nieces and nephews. A couple of hours ago he called me, one of his hourly check-ins but the tone of his voice was different. He was trying to hide something from me. -
“Spencer what's going on?”
“Nothing I promise!”
“No, there's definitely something happening! What's going on Spence?”
“We found him.”
“Yeah, I know that, that's why you're in Maine, what do you mean?”
“No, y/n, we found his house. He’s in custody right now.” My heart stopped for a moment.
“y/n/n? You there?”
“Im here, i’m here”
“All we need now is a confession. Emily and JJ are working on him right now.”
He reassured me that he was okay, and said he would call me soon. He texted me at his next check-in saying he was fine but that he needed to work on the confession, that he would call me when they got it, when they were leaving. And just like that my phone rang. I almost fell off of the edge of the bed to grab it, dropping my phone in the process.
“Spence?”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s me babe”
“So?” My heart rate sped up and I felt light headed
“We got it y/n/n.” I cried and put a hand on my chest. Years of pain. Years of being paranoid. Years of never seeing my family out of fear that it would hurt them. Years of thinking that my best friend's death was my fault. And just like that, the man who caused all of it. All of my pain and my fear and my panic and my trauma and my scars. Just like that, it's gone.
“y/n are you still there?”
“yeah, yeah, im here, sorry, it's just-”
“I know, I know. It’s okay now” I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me.
“y/n, I'm coming home”
With three words he saved me. With three words he made all of my fear for him worth it. He made every second worth it. He made coming home worth it.
Coming Home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9
Summary: While Spencer recovers at y/n’s old home, she is forced to tell what happened to her there.
Warnings: Anxiety, Trauma, Injury, hit and run, stalking, swearing, angst, panic, suicide (past)
pairing: Spencer Reid X reader
Words: 2K
A/N: this ones suuuuper dark people, i’m not gonna lie. Its longer than usual because I am hoping to finish this series with the next chapter! If criminal minds style plots trigger you I wouldn’t recommend this chapter is pretty dark.
*I do not own any CM characters
~~~~~~~~
Part 9
Spencer~
For the days that we stayed in her house, I never once saw a sign in her parents, or even her sister for that matter, that would tell me about what happened to her here. Not that I was looking so hard. It’s difficult sometimes, to keep myself from looking at all the little moves people make. It's difficult to not immediately think the worst of everyone around me after all of the horrible parts of humanity that I’ve seen. I had been in situations similar to hers before. I knew the pain of thinking that your trauma is something for only you to handle. The terrifying feeling that maybe it won't go away, thinking constantly that I’m just a burden. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone, especially not anyone I love as much as her.
I looked up from my seat at the counter to where y/n and her sister were talking in hushed voices. Every once in a while I would see the both of them look at the pictures adorning the walls of the house. At some of them they would give a faint smile, while at others a small grimace. I heard little bits of their conversations sometimes, slowly putting together what I missed.
“We promised not to talk about-”
“Well we also said we wouldn't-”
“Have you seen-”
“No, I assumed they were-”
It was that moment, that I'm sure of. The moment none of them would speak of. Something that not only made the three siblings closer than ever, but also more afraid of losing one another than they ever had been. Something big enough to scare two of three of them out of the state the same year, to never come back. Something so terrifying to all of them that they would never even talk about it.
y/n~
Spencer sat at my kitchen counter slowly eating the soup I had made for him the previous night. Lu and I were in the doorway to the living room talking as quietly as we could.
“If you would just tell him we wouldn’t have to-”
“No, not yet, I don’t want to have to bring him into this!”
We were talking about that night. The night that the three of us would keep guarded forever. Less than two months after that night I left for college and never came back. That is, until now. I knew I had to tell Spencer. I was waiting until we could go home. When I wasn't here anymore, then maybe, but it seemed that we wouldn't be leaving for at least another week. I didn't want to keep dodging his questions. But the fact of the matter is, not only does this change everything for him, but for me as well. And I am notoriously bad with change. After keeping this to myself for all these years, the prospect of telling someone else terrified me. Even if that person was Spencer.
“y/n, I love you, you know that. We both know what happened wasn't our fault. But not telling him doesn't make it go away. You have to do it. Staying here without him knowing just puts him and you more at risk than ever.”
Spencer~
Now that, I heard. Loud and clear even though my brain was hazy from pain and sleep. What risk? If something happened to her I don’t know what I would do. Another loss in my life would be too much. I only had her left to lose. She's all I have left.
“y/n if you're in trouble you know I would help you, right?” I attempted to stay quiet but the thought of her trying to do this on her own was one step I wasn’t willing to take.
She quickly turned around after hearing my voice and rubbed a hand over her forehead.
“If somethings wrong you need to tell me. I can help.” she put her hand down and walked toward me.
“I know, Spence, I know” she sat down on the stool next to me and took my hand.
“How about we take a walk?” Her eyes pleaded with me not to say anything more for the moment, and I complied. She helped me up from the seat and kept her hand on my back as she walked me out of the house.
“There's a place, out back, I used to go there when I was upset, it's quiet so we can talk”
Her voice rang with sadness and defeat but her eyes stayed looking toward the ground and she walked with me on a small gravel path leading behind the house.
y/n~
This is not how it was supposed to happen. I was going to take him back home, I was going to put on the tea kettle and make us both peppermint tea. I was going to sit beside him on the couch in our living room and tell him about that night. But here I am, walking with him back to the place I used to come to cry when I was young. Preparing to tell him something that would change everything.
“Right here, Spence. Sit.” I sat him on a log bench overlooking the ocean behind my house. I stood before him for a second, contemplating how to tell him before sitting beside him on the bench.
“It started when I was sixteen”
I laughed and opened up my car door, throwing my backpack in the backseat before moving to the front. On the front seat was a little envelope, presumably slipped through the little crack at the top of my window. It was addressed to me in dark bold lettering, but handwriting that I didn’t recognize. I sent a picture to my best friend at the time, Ben. He responded almost immediately:
B: wasn’t me, I promise! Where'd you find that?
Y: my car, it was just sitting on the driver's seat, should I open it?
B: ummmm, Yeah!! But send me a picture of what it says!
I carefully opened the envelope, trying my best to not rip-
“Wait, wait, wait.” Spencer stopped me in my tracks and put his hand out in front of him like he was stopping a car in the road.
“Ben? Isn't he-”
“The one that killed himself the first year we were dating” I stopped him in his tracks and gulped after I said it. It was never an easy thing to talk about, even so long after. But he comes in later, and I have too much of the story left to start crying now, so I continued.
I opened it to find a badly folded bit of construction paper with a note saying “I always love it when you wear braids” behind the paper was about six or seven pictures of me. All of them were in color and taken from afar, usually at my back, with the braids that I wore so often circled on each photo in red sharpie. I took a few photos to send to Ben but didn't wait for a response before securing the envelope in my glove compartment and locking my doors. I right away texted my sister the photos as well and drove off as fast as I could from the school parking lot.
“So you were being stalked?”
“In short, yes. It got worse and much more frequent. After that I stopped wearing my braids as often. I figured, if that's what he wants I'm sure as hell not giving it to him. But the pictures kept coming, until one day a few months after the first envelope my mom found one on my doorstep.”
“Oh, y/n, I forgot to tell you, I put a letter for you on your desk, I found it on the porch.” my heart stopped when she told me. He had never left them at my home before. He had left them in my car, in my locker, in my school bag even, but never once at my home. I never told my mom, only my siblings and Ben. I faked a smile to her after I could calm my breathing enough to speak.
“Thanks, Mom, I'll look at it a bit. It's probably just an invitation or something” I couldn't bring her into this, especially not now that he knew where I lived.
I took photos of the new envelope. The same handwriting adorned the note and my name written on the outside. Again the note was written with a red sharpie on badly folded construction paper. Again six or seven photos with markings all over the pictures in the same red sharpie as on the note. This time, the pictures were closer. Some still far away, but those taken from afar were through windows. Some even into my bedroom.
“And you didn't go to the police?” Spencer's voice yet again interrupted me from the memories that were so prevalent in my mind.
“No. The new note said I couldn't. I was a young woman, in Maine, Spence. No one would have taken me seriously even if I had. Besides, in that same note he wrote the address of all of my friends and family. He promised to kill them If I told anyone.” Spencer said nothing but his eyes and shoulders sank. He put a hand on my leg and rubbed as he saw me shake. Even all these years later the very thought of it scared me so bad that I could barely breathe.
It continued like that for two years. Once a month at least I would get an envelope. I never saw him. After I graduated there were a few months where I didn’t get a note. I thought it was over. My brother and my sister came back to Maine for the summer. I was accepted into an accelerated MD program at Tufts and was leaving in a few months. Then, three months before I was supposed to leave, the notes came back.
“Lu, I don't know what to do!” I sat on the couch in our living room and cried to her while my brother stood by the wall reading the note. After he was done reading, he grabbed my hand and looked me dead in the eyes.
“We’re going to the school” He helped me and Lu up from the couch and we all got in his car.
“Dominic, we can’t! You saw the last one! He knows where we live!”
“He said we couldn't go to the police, he never said anything about the school”
And so, we went. He parked in the back and locked the car with the windows rolled up even with the summer heat. He walked in front of me and Lu behind me. And then we went in.
“So you told the school?”
“We tried. It was already dark by the time we had gotten there. There was no one in the building, so we left.”
Defeated, Dominic promised me that we would go as soon as we could the next day and he and Lu walked out of the building towards the car. I swear before it happened I felt something was wrong. There was nothing that could have told me that, I know. But as I stepped off of that curb in front of the building, chills went up my spine. I looked up to see the face of a boy in my class. I didn't even know his name but I recognized him. He was driving a car. A red Ford truck. As I smiled up to him I didn't even notice his engine revving. He hit me full force and drove off without a second of hesitation.
I was sobbing now, remembering the pain that I felt before I went unconscious. I was barely conscious for a minute before I passed out. But still that was the worst pain I had felt in my life. Spencer rubbed my back and coached me through breathing as best he could. His face was a mixture of panic and sadness but he said nothing as he helped me breathe.
“I should have died that night, maybe then he would have left us all alone”
~~~~~~~
Next Chapter
Coming Home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
Summary: y/n struggles with the trauma from her past while staying with her family.
Warnings: Trauma, Swearing, injury, anxiety, death (past), general angst
Pairing: Spencer reid X reader
Words: 1k +
A/N: I think this is the last update for the day! not positive but hoping so.
*I do not own any CM characters
~~~~~~~~
Part 8
y/n~
Coming home was one thing. Seeing the roads and the spots that I knew from my childhood was another thing. But hearing that voice, before I could even steel myself enough to leave the car. That was another level of difficulty.
“Well, look who finally came home”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hear it. I had missed it, all of it. Of course I did, I mean for a very long time that voice was all I knew. It was my sanctuary from anything scary in this world. But it was also the voice that reminded me of my worst moments here.
“What do you mean she's dead” my face was stone cold and unwavering.
“It was just a few minutes ago, they called me.”
“no, no that's not right. That can’t be right. I was there just a minute ago. She was fine. She was fine!”
Spencer’s hand squeezed mine when he noticed my eyes were closed as I began to lose myself in panic inducing memories.
“Hey, you back with me?” After hearing his voice I took a shaky breath and nodded.
“I’m here.” My door was open, as was his, and I unbuckled myself but waited just a minute, unsure of how I would feel getting out. A few tears escaped and I quickly wiped them away and shook my head, attempting to force myself out of my thoughts.
“Are you going to hug me or what?” that voice again, the voice I knew, a voice I could never forget as it's so close to my own. I ran towards her and failed to notice the tears that went down my cheeks as I ran.
Her embrace was warm. The embrace only an older sister can give. Close to that a mother but almost with more understanding.
“Spence, this is my sister-” I stopped to wipe some tears from my cheek and to turn towards him where he was still sitting in the car, staring at me and Lu.
“Lu, this is Spencer.”
Spencer~
Even from the car with my eyes half closed I could tell they were close. Even after she broke away to turn to me, they stood shoulder to shoulder, clearly missing the others comforting touch. I waved from my seat and looked at y/n’s face. It was contorted into a look of pain forced into a small smile. I don’t know where her mind was, but one thing for sure, it wasn't here. Not in this moment. Maybe not even in this place, but I had a feeling that it was in the one moment she wouldn't share with me.
“It's uh, nice to meet you, finally. I’ve heard lots about you” not quite a lie. She would tell me stories about her siblings, mostly her brother whom I have met a few times. She would tell me stories from when she was young, always seeming to leave out details that would leave any of them too vulnerable. Her brother lived in DC, he was older than the both of us by seven years. I had come to know how close he was with her only after I saw them together the first time. The way they looked to each other was like they were constantly afraid of losing the other.
“So, someone want to help me out?” I unbuckled myself and the both of them walked over to me to help. I looked up after they had half carried me out of the car and opened my mouth to start small talk, but was cut off by a tiny shake of the head and a glare from y/n. Enough to tell me that “now is not the time” so I kept my mouth shut, choosing instead to watch the microexpressions on the two of their faces. The little moves they both made were practically identical. The little flares of the nostrils that I knew y/n/n always did when she was about to cry, were mirrored exactly in her sister.
“Thanks Lu, but you can uh, head home. I got it from here”
“You know I’m not leaving, not until-”
“Please. Not today. Please.” I stayed silent as I sat on the couch in their large living room. There was something she didn't want to discuss, that I knew for sure. With every second that she stayed in this room she stiffened. The room was filled with happy looking pictures of the five of them. Some when they were little but also pictures as recent as a few months ago when y/n and I met with her brother for lunch.
“Fine. not today. But I'm not leaving. Matt can take care of the kids for now, I'll stay in my old room. You’ll need the help anyways”
The look on the both of their faces was one I recognized from living with y/n. Her stubbornness reflected back to her from her sister. Both refusing to move from their stance until the other submitted to defeat. Finally y/n sat on the couch beside me and nodded her head without saying a word. Her sister left the room and walked down the stairs, presumably heading to her room.
y/n~
I knew she'd push me to talk. But I couldn't. It was taking all I had in me not to jump up from the couch and run as far as I can from this place.
“So, you going to tell me what that was about? Or am I just going to have to put it together myself?”
“You're the profiler here remember? How ‘bout you guess?”
“Okay, I’ll leave it alone. But only if you promise me that you don't beat yourself up about whatever it is. Okay?”
“Okay”
I stopped talking and pulled my knees up to my chest hugging them with my arms before releasing them to lay sideways on the couch, my head resting gently on Spence’s good shoulder. I focused on his breathing. Remembering the first time I saw him after he was shot. His breath was even now, so unlike then. That first night seeing him struggling to breathe took my own breath away.
He took his one hand and rubbed my back. Knowing he was the only thing keeping me from a massive breakdown, I'm sure.
“Hey, it's going to be okay.”
“How? How? If I can't even talk to you about it, the one person who I trust to keep me safe? To keep me happy? If I can't tell you, how am I supposed to live with that?”
He was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say.
“You won't have to be alone anymore.”
A simple answer. An easy one. But he's right, I’m not alone this time. But that won't make it any easier.
~~~~~~~~~~
Next Chapter
Coming Home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
Summary: After leaving the hospital Spencer and y/n head to her parents house.
Warnings: Injury, hospitals, anxiety, swearing, death (past)
Parings: reader x Spencer Reid
Words: 1k +
A/N: going crazy with updating today sorry!
*I do not own any CM characters
~~~~~~~~
Part 7
Spencer~
The first few days after I was shot I slept more than I probably had in months. I would wake up every half an hour for a few minutes sometimes managing to eat a few bites of jello that Garcia bought for me before falling back into a hazy sleep. You would think that after being shot the first couple of times, this would all be routine for me, but this was different. It wasn't just different because I really had someone to worry about this time, but even I knew that this was worse. Much worse. The looks on the faces of just about everyone that walked into my room told me how horrible I must have looked. y/n’s sobs from the first time I was conscious play over and over in my head, reminding me to never again forget how lucky I am to live everyday knowing her. To hear someone cry over you is one thing. But to hear your biggest love cry as if they are already mourning your death? That's something I doubt even someone without an eidetic memory could forget.
“Spencer, I'm not letting you leave AMA!” I looked up from my daze to find my angry girlfriend standing at the end of my bed.
“Are we talking about their AMA or your AMA?”
“Both! You were shot, for christ's sake!”
“But I have you to help me! You’ll know better than any of them if there's something horribly wrong with me and then we can take care of it! Plus, studies have shown that patients being cared for by loved ones in their own homes recover more quickly than patients in any other environments”
She crossed her arms and tilted her head at me.
“Fine. but you are not getting in a plane. We’ll stay in Maine until I clear you to fly, cappice?”
“I thought you wouldn't want to stay here-”
“Spence, don't worry about that, okay? I can survive a few nights with my mother if it means you don't do anything more to hurt yourself.”
y/n~
So, I lied. Just a little lie, but nevertheless, a lie. Truthfully, I want to get out of this place more than Spencer could ever know. But if staying here means that he is at less risk, what choice do I have?
“Hey mom, I'm sorry that I haven't called you back, things have been a little hectic”
“Sweetie I'm not angry, I'm just confused! What’s going on with you?”
“I'm here mom. I’m at the Portland hospital with Spencer, and we need a place to stay until he's okay enough to fly.”
I stood in the corner of the room by the windows whispering in hopes to not wake the now sleeping Spencer, but failed. He looked towards me and furrowed his brows like he does whenever he is trying to piece things together. I attempted to mouth to him- all good, my mom, go back to sleep- but with the puzzled look he gave back to me I'm guessing I didn't do such a great job.
“Look mom, he just woke up so I have to go, but should I call Lu or can I bring him there?”
“Of course you can come here! There's no need to bother your sister, besides you know how she is around blood and that poor-”
“Okay thank you goodbye mom” I hung up my phone and made my way back to the chair beside the hospital bed where my computer and my blanket were messily thrown on the cushion.
“Once you are good to leave we are going to my house.”
“Your house? Am I about to meet your parents for the first time?”
“Yeah babe, you are. Got a suit?” his eyes got really wide and I laughed while shaking my head.
“Im joking, Spence, I don't even know if I remembered to bring you pants, never mind a two piece”
And so with a simple exchange and a lot of paperwork, we signed him out, found him some pants, and left the hospital.
Spencer~
Oh my god. You would think that my greatest shock of the past week would have been being shot multiple times, but no, oh no. My biggest shock of the week is that now, barely dressed, my torso covered only with the slightly bled on bandage the nurses applied to me, I was about to meet my girlfriends parents. You would think that for such a short distance and for knowing each other for so long we would have at least corresponded a few times with her parents, but no. That was yet another topic that was a little too raw.
With an orderly pushing the wheelchair that I was in and y/n walking briskly beside me with her hands full of medical supplies and various personal belongings, we made our way out to a big black dodge van. A man slightly shorter than me stepped out of the driver's seat, and a woman a little taller than y/n stepped out of the passengers side. I could recognize them both from pictures around the apartment and her phone. If I could stand I would have shaken their hands, but in my current painful state the most I could do is try to look even half awake.
“Mom, dad, this is Spencer” I smiled through the pain and looked up at them. Both were smiling back but with a little apprehension, like they weren't quite sure what to make of me.
Our introduction was brief and very few words were said before y/n/n ushered me into a seat in the back and opened the opposite door to enter the seat beside me. As soon as she got in she quickly reached out to grab my one unrestrained hand and squeezed it so hard I thought she would have to wheel me right back into the ER.
“Hey, it's going to be okay, baby” I tried my best to reassure her, but without knowing why she was this scared in the first place, I wasn't sure how well I could help.
The car ride was shorter than I expected it to be. Although I am certain that I was asleep for the majority of it. When the car stopped I woke up and squeezed y/n’s hand which still rested in mine. The house we stopped in front of was a light purple with a navy blue trim. The driveway was long and unpaved, passing a big pond on one side and a forest on the other. There were two other cars in the driveway and I could hear dogs barking from within the house. It was so unlike where I had grown up. It was beautiful, I couldn't understand how someone could hate this. A woman who looked almost exactly like y/n approached the car and opened y/n/n door.
“Well, look who finally came home”
~~~~~~~~~
Next Chapter
Coming Home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
Summary: As Spencer recovers in the hospital y/n struggles with being back home
Warnings: Injury, hospitals, anxiety, swearing, angst?
Parings: y/n x Spencer Reid
words: 1K +
A/N: still behind on updating so i’ll probably spam today. also, definitely lmk if there is something you want me to put on my warnings or tagging lists, i’m kinda new with all that.
* I don’t own any CM characters.
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Part 6
Spencer~
Even in her sleep I could tell how uncomfortable she was being back here. Whenever I used to ask her about why she hated Maine so much she always brushed me off - “i have a history there thats all”- after a few months I decided not to push it anymore. I knew better than anyone that pushing would get you nowhere, she would tell me, in time. Penelope sat in the chair next to my bed with two laptops and her phone out as she tried to communicate with the team from the room. Every few minutes she would look up at me and give me a wide eyed smile before handing me another Jell-o. My favorite.
“Hey Garcia?”
“Yes my dear boy?” I laughed weakly before and looked over at my sleeping girlfriend.
“How hard would it be to convince you to help me sit up?” she laughed at me before stopping abruptly.
“Are you being for real? Oh no. no way. Yeah no way. I don't want to get killed by the sweet baby angle that is about to be my newest best friend. No thank you.” I gave her a pout but agreed. For now I would just have to live with the short glances I got of her when I could get enough strength to briefly lift my head.
“Hey Spencer?” Penelope shut both of her computers to look at me.
“Does she usually do that in her sleep?” immediately I started to panic. The cot was directly across the room from my bed, and with the way my body was positioned I couldn't see whatever the “that” Penelope was referring to was.
“What do you mean? Is she alright? Help me sit up!”
“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a second, no need to panic, she's not like dying or anything, just twitching. Weirdly.”
“What do you mean weirdly! Like a seizure kind of weird or a muscle twitch Garcia?” I scrambled trying to sit up but the wave of pain that I immediately felt discouraged me.
“Garcia, if you help me sit up, i’ll- i’ll tell you every single detail of how I first met her, and I’ll throw in a new glow in the dark piglet for your desk!” She did a classic sounding ‘Garcia Groan’ but finally grabbed the remote for the bed and tilted me up just enough to see the cot across the room.
I had seen her do this before. We called it her, ‘Holy trinity of anxiety’ -
“I was doing it again last night wasn’t I?”
“don’t worry about it y/n/n, it's not a big deal okay?”
“will you at least tell me what it is?”
“It's just something your body does to cope with the anxiety that you feel even when you are asleep. You only do it when something is really really bothering you, that's how I knew I needed to make you pancakes today”
After the first time I noticed her doing that in her sleep when we started dating, she had done it maybe three times total. The first was when I had just come home from the first case I had taken while we were dating, the second, was the night after she found out her childhood best friend killed himself. Her personal ‘Holy trinity of anxiety’ was when she combined three of her worst nervous tics, all at the same time, while she was sleeping. Her three worst are common ones, but also the hardest to control, leg tapping, cheek biting, and either picking relentlessly at her fingers, or digging her nails into her palms.
This wasn't just because I was shot, this was what she did whenever I mentioned her home here when she was awake. Something happened here. Something so bad that she wouldn't tell me what. I hated it. The not knowing. It was something that I rarely have to deal with. One of the reasons that I constantly like to read and learn is so that I never have to be in a situation where I don't know anything. The only two areas that I was constantly stumped by were social interactions, and my girlfriends past.
y/n~
When I woke up on the cot in Spencer’s hospital room my first thought was that I must have dreamt it all. As soon as I shook that off after seeing the docks of Portland out the window, my second thought was to really check on Spencer. I had been in such a panic all of yesterday the only real information I was able to retain was that he was shot, but he was alive. Now was time for my medical degree to come in handy.
“Why are you all looking at me like i’m a lost puppy?” As soon as I sat up Penelope closed her computers and Spencer slightly tilted his head and smiled.
“Wait. a damn. Minute” I immediately noticed that Spencer was sitting up and Penelope was trying to cover the bags of dum dum wrappers and empty jello packs at her feet.
“Spencer, who helped you up?”
“Ummmmm, I don't know what you mean?”
“Spencer Reid. For a profiler you are the worst liar in the world. And Penelope, I know you did it, but I don't blame you because I know exactly how persuasive his puppy eyes are” she sighed and gave me a big smile.
“Right? I mean look at them, it's a crime!” Spencer blushed and looked back at me with a face I had seen plenty of times. It's how he looked at me whenever he promised he would be there for something and had to leave. It was his guilty face.
“Spence, what’s up?”
“I'm just sorry.” my shoulders dropped in response to hearing his voice, much louder and much more normal than last night.
“Baby there's nothing you could have done, we all know that.”
“I know its just, I know how much you hate it here, and I never wanted to worry you so much that you did a sleeping holy trinity, and now i'm afraid that you'll never not see me as hurt, and what if I just become a reminder of the pain you feel, and-” I shut him up by placing a very gentle kiss to his lips as I sometimes did when he went into rants.
“Well, looks like you two have things covered, i'm going to the cafeteria to give the team some updates” Penelope grabbed her purse and phone and left the room with a few excited glances back at us.
“So I was doing a sleeping trinity?”
“Yeah, a bad one”
“Did you tell Garcia about-”
“No, I would never, not unless you want me to.”
“No, the only person who knows i’m here so far is my mom so-.”
“Will you tell me what happened now?”
“Later. I just need to adjust for now” I didn't want him to be disappointed by me not telling him. But I needed time. Well, more time. For now I needed to focus on him, and get both of us out of here. He moved toward the clothes bag I bought for him that was hanging on the edge of his bed.
“And what do you think you're doing?”
“I hate these gowns you know that”
“That does not give you a free pass to move around, here let me help you” I could tell that the slight movement toward the end of the bed was enough to make even Spencer (who always refused pain medication because of his past addiction) want double doses of morphine. He groaned when I helped him take the loose gown down from his shoulders and I expertly guided the large sweatshirt over his head.
“I can do it-”
“Hey, baby, I’m here for a reason, and I've looked at your chart enough to know how bad that shoulder must hurt. No more of your trademarked ‘I'm the brilliant Spencer Reid and I don’t need anyones help’ crap, okay?``Eventually he relented and seeing him in his own clothes again brought me a new level of peace that just a few hours ago I thought I would never feel again.
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Next Chapter
Coming Home
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
Summary: y/n reunites with wounded Spencer.
Warnings: Injury, hospitals, anxiety, swearing, general angst?
Parings: y/n x Spencer Reid
Words: 1k +
A/N: im soooo behind on updating so expect a spam today!
*I do not own any Criminal Minds Characters
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Part 5
y/n~
The moment that Spencer looked at me with his Hazel eyes clouded, I knew exactly why he didn't want them to tell me where he had been shot. It wasn't just because he didn’t want me to worry, it was because he knew that I understood how terrifying it was. He was shot three times from what I could see, though I had a feeling that there were probably more wounds under the bandages on his side. One in his shoulder looked bad, probably shattered his bone, but the rest of his arm looked pink and healthy so at least his blood flow was intact. One right on his side just barely above his hip, could have hit countless abdominal organs, but he didn't have an NG tube so at least his stomach was intact. And the last I could see was just at the edge of where his vest must have been, so close to his heart that it made mine stop for a second when I saw it.
“Oh, my god” I let out the first coherent words that I had in probably three or four hours. He didn’t speak, not that I think he should or could right now, but he squeezed his eyes closed for a second and when he opened them again I saw a tear fall down his cheek.
“JJ, could you hand me a tissue?” I laughed a little, feeling strange at requesting something so small, but I felt like if I even attempted to stand I would pass out. She handed it to me and I lightly dabbed his face before bringing his hand up to my mouth to place a kiss on it. That took longer than I would have liked because of the very persistent shake of my hand.
“Thank you for not telling me” I looked back at Derek and Emily who both gave me sad smiles and nodded.
“Of course. Plus we knew Reid would kill us if we did.” I laughed for what felt like the first time in my life. Seeing him didn't make the worries go away, not even close. But being in a setting that I understood, one that I worked in and saw all the time comforted me greatly. I knew exactly what would happen now, everything that could go wrong, but also everything that could go right.
Spencer~
When I first heard her speak I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. The pain of not being able to apologize to her, to my team, to everyone that I could, made my wounds hurt even more. She dabbed a tissue at my face and attempted to kiss my cold hand even though the one holding it was shaking uncontrollably. The way she looked at my friends, my family, even though she had never met them before was like she had known them as long as I had. They had that effect on people, a way of making just about anyone comfortable, and so did she.
As I laid there silently drifting in and out of sleep I never once felt her hand move from mine. Whenever I was even slightly conscious I would think of what I wanted to say to her first. Hi. no, lame. I love you. True, but not grand enough. But when I finally really came too, and could even move my head to look over at her, I could only muster,
“How long has it been since you've eaten?”
“Are you joking! Spencer Reid! You asshole! You almost fucking die and you’re asking me if i’ve eaten!” I started to laugh but the action hurt much more than I was expecting so I decided I would stick to words for now.
“Well, it's a valid question. You're shaking like you're on the verge of a diabetic coma” I heard a loud laugh from the corner where I looked over to find Derek laughing hysterically and trying to cover it with his hand.
“Pretty boys back” he said into his phone and hung it up before walking to the end of my hospital bed.
“And he’s also right, i'll go get you something to eat, let you two catch up.”
I looked back at the beautiful woman sitting beside me and attempted to sit up before being scolded.
“Don't. Even. Think about it. You move a single muscle and I will fill that IV with Propofol myself”
“Alright, alright. No moving I get it.” Her lips started to tremble and the angry facade she wore quickly fell away.
“Spence-” She started to cry and stopped talking to squeeze her eyes shut and place her one free hand over her mouth.
“Oh, baby, i'm so sorry” what hurt me more than seeing her cry, was not being able to move to her.
“Will you come to me, so I don’t get in trouble?” she nodded and scooted her chair a few inches closer to me.
“Baby, a little closer? I have one arm to work with here” finally she opened her eyes again and put the guardrail down on my bed before resting her head gently on my chest.
“I can hear your heart. I didn't know if I would even be able to-” she stopped herself and cried again as I brought my working hand to her head and ran in through her hair.
“I’m here okay? I promise”
y/n~
Even with me laying my head on his chest and him running his hand through my hair it took me hours before I could breathe normally again. Derek walked back in a few minutes after I first put my head on his chest and placed some food on a table next to me before apologizing to us both for having to leave. Now they didn't just have the first unsub to deal with, they had everyone who shot Spencer to add to their list. He left along with everyone else after Spencer promised that I would be okay.
“You need to eat, before you pass out, y/n/n” I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.
“I'll eat when you eat”
“Please, y/n, just a little bit. Or at least a juice, just something” I gave in and made a big show of me opening a bottle of orange juice in front of him before sitting up in my chair and grabbing a few crackers from a tray.
“Happy?”
“Very much so” I laughed and placed a gentle kiss on his head before a bright bubbly blonde walked into the room.
“Oh, my god. I'm interrupting, I'm so sorry. I'm Penelope, it's really nice to meet you!” I laughed
“Of course, Spence has told me so much about you!” from what Spencer had told me she was the light of the team and was always dispatched to the hospital when the team got hurt so they could keep sane.
“Well i’m here so you,-” she pointed to me with a smile, “my sweet girl wonder, can take a nap and a shower, and for you-” she pointed over to Spencer who looked back expectantly, “I brought Jell-o, and lots of it, let's settle in, people!”
I let a sleepy smile fall onto my face as I was forcibly removed from my chair and brought to a cot across the room. I guess sleep would be nice.
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