A little gift for my darling Palps ( @onehell-of-apilot ) and our boys !! A big thank you to the wonderful @klodwig for taking the idea for this commission and bringing it to life so beautifully !!
[ . . . ] Fighting your own demons. Something Ben knew all too well, he had been doing such thing through his whole life. Becoming your own worst enemy. That was what happened. But he wanted to believe that it had changed when he walked back into the light, when he let go of all his hatred but he soon realized that it wasn’t the case, if anything it got worse. On top of his self hatred, now there were the nightmares, the dealing with all the innocent blood staining his hands.
But there was something, someone, that ever since Ben was a small kid seemed to always be able to chase the darkness away from his fragile soul. Poe. His light during the darkest nights, the one person that, without even realizing it. was the sole reason for his trying to cling to the last shred of light and hope when his mind was filled with voices and nightmares. The one that despite everything that Ben did to him, despite the way he betrayed and hurt him, still looked at him like there was something worth fighting for.
Perhaps that was the reason behind his current predicament. Standing at the edge of the wreckage on Kef Bir, watching the ocean roaring under him. He could feel it, the kyber crystal still secured in the hilt of his old lightsaber, deep under the water, almost as if it was waiting for that moment; waiting to be picked up once more by him. It scared Ben, that much he could admit, afraid that by picking it up again, it would only bring more weight to the already constant reminder of his past. But there was a part of himself that seemed to think otherwise, and oh, if Ben clung to it as hard as he could.
Truth to be told, retrieving the kyber had been the easy part, it was what came next that tested Ben and his resolve. How many times he failed ? How many times he came close to give up and just destroy the crimson kyber in front of him ? One too many times. And yet all along, despite the failures and the frustration, he didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop. It felt like — no, it was the right thing to do. What gave him the strength to pull through was the thought of Poe having something that was so important to him, that was the proof of his journey, all of it, the bad and the good moments; his return to the light; the proof of his return to him.
He was right.
The realization came the morning after he gifted the newly purified kyber crystal to the pilot, when sleep was still heavy in their bones but neither of them wanted to give in and get back to sleep. When hazel hues caught a glimpse of the cracked white kyber resting against Poe’s chest, the soft gleam coming from it as the morning light illuminated the room. There was a familiar warmth spreading through Ben’s whole being as he held Poe close to himself just a little tighter. But what had him let out a soft breath was the sense of calmness that surrounded him, something he hadn’t been familiar with in a long while, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders; like the last shreds of darkness that were clinging to Ben finally dissolved; freeing him.
While he knew he should give himself some credits about his own journey, Ben knew that he wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for Poe, always believing that there was still some good in him, that deep down the boy he knew and loved when younger was still somewhere there, waiting for a hand to bring him out, and while his mother’s helped with that, ultimately it was Poe that managed it. The necklace with the kyber crystal was proof of it.
And for the first time, as Ben gently nuzzled his face against Poe’s shoulder, he finally felt at ease, at home.
[ 💬 :: @onehell-of-apilot ] I’m not saying I purposefully messed up a Yule log & set it aside if you wanted to come over & keep me company while I close up but well. A Yule log got messed up. & you should keep me company.
“You can tear out every wire and screw inside her, she’s still gonna be a bucket of bolts.” Corrine commented as she watched the pilot fiddle around with the console of her ship. She’d mentioned rather offhandedly that her ship was a terrible ride and it seemed to have sounded like a challenge to the young pilot. “I should set her on fire.” She muttered.
@onehell-of-apilot ; incoming transmission ⸻ [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like
→ texts prompts // accepting
→ [ 📱 — poe ] i’m impressed with the autocorrect if it made sense of your rambling
→ [ 📱 — poe ] but i have a lot of questions about your food of choice
→ [ 📱 — poe ] and the most important is why?
→ [ 📱 — poe ] i just came back in the city from a job early today
→ [ 📱 — poe ] so my night has involved my couch and a beer
→ [ 📱 — poe ] pretty uneventful
@onehell-of-apilot said: " i made some breakfast, if you're hungry? "
Ben glanced at the other male and nodded. He didn’t want to be too loud but he was starving and he wanted breakfast but he didn’t want to do more than what was expected of him. “I am, thank you. I appreciate you making breakfast, you didn’t have too.”
@onehell-of-apilot for a plotted starter with Poe & Jim!
“Okay, this is so not Federation air space.”
Jim couldn’t help but look around. He tried his communication system, but the signal wasn’t reaching back to Starfleet. He couldn’t see the glow that had made the stars look just a little funny before he ended up here.
“Great. Just great.”
And then he saw the other spacecraft. It wasn’t a design he was familiar with. He started projecting a message on all channels.
“My name is James Tiberius Kirk; I’m a student at Starfleet Academy. I believe I travelled through some kind of wormhole and ended up here. I mean no harm.”
"There’s something you must know.” Maker, this was easier in his head when he was still walking—rushing—away from the messenger to here. How would anyone go about breaking terrible news to unsuspecting minds? Worse, he could barely disguise his own shock; it was probably written all over his face. “Uh, you might want to sit...”
@onehell-of-apilot / liked a certain picture and I got inspired /
He should have just refused and stayed on the couch but Poe had offered and offered and Ben knew that now every small thing the other got to do for him was a way to make it up to him for the years they’ve lost, the betrayal when Poe had left. He didn’t have the heart to rob him of those small gestures... so he agreed. Agreed to stay the night, agreed to take Poe’s bedroon, agreed to let Poe help him put fresh bacta spray on the scratches and cuts he sported after his last jedi mission.
Staying in Poe’s room should have been it, though. But now that the other was about to leave the room... Ben hesitated.
