Rumor has it that war veteran professor Riley from War Studies and the Literature professor are definitely sleeping together.
Or : where you and Simon are definitely NOT dating— but somehow, the entire student body is convinced you are. There's even a fan club for it. On Telegram.
Pt2 🐙
[anonstudent4ever]: guys i just walked past riley's office and guess WHO was in there again.
[bookedandbusy]: let me guess. the lit prof in her lil trench coat and smug aura???
[anonstudent4ever]: BINGO. door wasn't fully closed either. risky little freaks 🏃♂️
[chaoticneutral]: they are so obviously boning it's killing me. my tuition is paying for them to make heart eyes over WWII artillery maps 😫
[hotgirlwithacitation]: update: they sat next to each other at the faculty mixer. she laughed at something he said 😧☕
[jeremyonice]: They shared a coffee in the faculty lounge. We have EYES 🕵️♂️ Stay sharp, team
[tenurethirst]: what could Simon Riley possibly say that's funny. like what's he gonna do. war joke?? "haha remember the Geneva Conventions?"
[hotgirlwithacitation]: ok but she did laugh. she did the head tilt and the arm graze. she TOUCHED HIS ARM.
[proseb4hoes]: You think they trauma-bonded during committee meetings?
[bookedandbusy]: Absolutely. Probably over faculty budget cuts and unresolved PTSD.
[proseb4hoes]: God, I wish that were me😩
New Message from @tenurethirst: BREAKING: Someone in Professor Riley's Tuesday 9AM asked him what he thinks of literature 🫢
[hotgirlwithacitation]: WHAT DID HE SAY
[anonstudent4ever]: "I don't have the patience for fiction. I prefer the truth. But... some people make poetry worth tolerating." 🫢🫢🫢
[chaoticneutral]: HANG ON HANG ON BACK UP!!! BACK UP!!!!! SOME 👏 PEOPLE 👏 MAKE 👏 POETRY 👏 WORTH 👏 TOLERATING 👏
[bookedandbusy]: he meant her. HE MEANT HER. professor y/n, literature dept, first of her name 🗣️🗣️🗣️
[tenurethirst]: Do y'all think he's annotating her poetry like "p. 47 - is this about me?" i'm going to combust💔💔
[hotgirlwithacitation]: i bet she writes vague lines like "a man who speaks in silence, who walks like guilt, who smells like ash" and riley's in his apartment like: fuck
[bookedandbusy]: they're literally literary soulmatesss 👏👏 she gives lectures about metaphors for grief and he is the metaphor for grief
[mutualdestruction]: that's why they work. she's the novel he never thought he'd read. he's the war she keeps writing poems about.
[spiteandprejudice]: Bro.. that was so poetic what the fuck 🥶
[whoiselena44]: do y'all think she calls him "Simon" when no one's around 🥺
[Jeremyonice]: Obviously dude 😵💫
[notyourvalentine]: no. she calls him "riley" like it's a challenge n he calls her "professor" like it's a sin 👀
[proseb4hoes]: imagine he says "say it again" and she's like "Simon" and he's like "no. 'sir.'" ok bye logging out now
[bookedandbusy]: y'all have FICS saved in your drafts don't you?!??
... actually based on my own fucking class 😭 anyway wtf
