Discover Top Posts Tagged with #onlyhappenstome

I replied to this guy instagram story telling him he’s cute and he goes like “you also” boy-

Hello tumblr. Some recent life updates. I am single again, abd I'm being mobilized (deployed) for a full year. So life super sucks right now.

#onlyhappenstome #sucks #deploying #navyreserves

Um. A cat was on my roof this morning while I was getting ready. Yep. A cat. On my roof. #onlyhappenstome #shessafe

#shessafe #onlyhappenstome

Tinder Tales - Date Ditched

So let's talk about the worst of the worst dating experiences. I'm talking about a date that was an EPIC FAIL. Mine would be when I was in Adelaide, South Australia. I had joined tinder because I was slightly bored with my dating life, and most of my friends used it. I had been on tinder for maybe a month or two at this point, and I was chatting with a guy named Dom. Now, we were supposed to meet up one night and his sister supposedly got back in town from in Sydney for an extended period of time. I didn't exactly buy his story, but I had met up with a few mates so I didn't care he had cancelled. He rescheduled for the next night, and, against my better judgement, I went to meet him after work. He arrived a few minutes after I did, and he seemed really cool. We spent roughly half an hour just chatting about life, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary or strange. After awhile, I suggested we grab a drink, and he offered to go in and get them (as it was a warm evening , we were sitting outside). He went inside and after a few minutes passed, he hadn't returned. It was a Monday night, so the pub wasn't very busy. I figured maybe he went to the toilet or something, but I had a bad feeling about it. I had a hunch and checked my phone. I noticed he had unmatched me on tinder and blocked me on snapchat. At that point, I knew I had been ditched. Since I was tired, I decided there was no point staying and drinking alone. I left and called my GBF on my way to the bus stop. At first, I was slightly upset...then, I was in disbelief that that actually just happened. After talking to my GBF for about an hour, I was laughing so hard I was crying. I mean seriously, I had no idea that actually happens in real life. I felt as though I were on some reality tv series or in a tragic teen movie. Anyways, thinking about it, I'm not ashamed that it happened. Some guy wasn't into me, and didn't have the decency to tell me to my face or at least make up an excuse so he could make a quick exit. Not every guy I meet will be into me, and vice versa. The truth is, several years ago that would have crushed me. Now, I am able to laugh it off and tell and re-tell the story over and over again, shocking and entertaining my audience. So ladies, here's to the dates that are a complete tragedy. Everyone has their preferences, that doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

#epicfail #dating #tinder #tindertales #onlyhappenstome

That awkward moment a VIP speaks and the screensaver of your laptop turns out. At least it's a nice picture of my son and I. #onlyhappenstome #weekofmicrocredit is on ! Picture posted on EC site 🙀 (at Microstart Antwerpen)

#onlyhappenstome #weekofmicrocredit

I decided to give up caffeine for Lent, and have started a bit early to help the copping for my withdrawal. Of course, Tim Horton’s roll up he rim is back now, and I still have an unused gift card from Christmas....

#onlyhappenstome #Lent #caffeine

The woes of online dating

I don't usually talk about my personal dating life on a public board but at this point it has become almost a comedy skit every week.

Sadly, we live in the times that meeting people in public doesn't happen anymore. We have to try a figure out a person you met on the Internet before you take the steps to meeting the in public. I never knew the block list on these sites can fill up the way they do.

You can write the most ridiculous thing on your page and I can guarantee that the person did not read that portion before messaging you. So, I have been out in the playing field for a few months and have been already entertained.

Let me entertain you now with just a few examples...

I had a guy write to me, went over how much he loved horror movies and the investigation discovery channel. Now, there is nothing wrong with liking these things but then there is a thing called obsession. It creeped me out. I don't wanna be with a guy that knows how to hid a body after watching the ID channel.....NEXT.

Then comes a message from a man that stated "would you be interested in tying me and tickling my feet?" ....WTF... Where on my profile does it state that I like to help people fulfill fetishes...BLOCKED...NEXT...

Another man messaged me for a little bit of time, we talked about all the usual stuff. He then asks the personal questions about what you want in the future. So, I give my answer and he proceeds to say he wants babies before marriage....um NO. I don't wanna play house with anyone...NEXT.

I had a guy start talking to me one morning. We were getting along pretty good. I was working OT that morning and I couldn't respond as fast as I wanted to, I didn't respond for 15 minutes and the next message I get is..."I will not be ignored, hope you find what you are looking for, take care"....seriously dude...I told you I was working, so I respond with that and get..."your lose, take care"...well it's not my lose buddy, it's yours I'm pretty fucking awesome...

And now I save the best for last...

I was talking to a guy for a few days when he asked me to be his girlfriend before I met him. I was kinda weirded out on that but thought well maybe he hasn't dated too many people. So, I just said lets met first. So, we went out on a date to a popular wing restaurant. He orders traditional hot wings. He gets the sauce all over his face and doesn't use a wet napkin or even go to the bathroom to get it off...guess I'm mean for not saying anything but it is what it is...we went for a ride in my car...and he said "I think I farted in your car"....WHAT??? How in the hell do you think you farted...or did you shit yourself...EW! Just not what you wanna hear. Then he tried to kiss me with his sauce face...barf...needless to say a train wreck... I thought that might have been nerves so I gave it one more shot...we go to a movie a week later, he mets me inside the place and says "I don't know how much I like you yet?" WTF... It's like keep your mouth shut dude. He orders food before the movie...we go take our seats at the movie...he sits the food on the floor....EW!! This is Lancaster county...there has to be shit down on the floor somewhere...yuck...he picks it up and eats it. Then proceeds to talk throughout the movie, then says to me "Stay beautiful, don't have children!" WTF AGAIN!!! I couldn't sit for this movie to end...credits come up, I'm ready to roll, he has to put on his jacket like a 5 year old... Finally I got out...and let's just say....he received a txt that said....this isn't going to work from me....then he says "I didn't see that coming"....WHAT! How did you not see that coming!!!

I'm sure there will be a part 2 coming to this post in the future.

#dating #seriously #onlyhappenstome #crazy