Whats been going on in my life? Can you handle it?
Everyone knows the rules.... song choice first and foremost!
All My Life - Foo Fighters, damn this song gets me going.
The last 6 months feel almost like a blur. I think a lot of us can relate to this? Im certain I’m not the only one that had a crazy 2020. I’ve literally watch so many of you fall victim to job loss, relationships falling out, and just all around chaos. I’ve witnessed you guys experience this! Just like you’ve watched me, from a distance you’ve watched me.
You’ve watched as my marriage crumbled. You’ve heard about me moving into a damn shed. You watched me walk away from a well paying position. You seen me cry, you’ve seen me talk ill of people in a way not even I condone, unless otherwise provoked.. You’ve been there for me, and didn't even know it. I knew it though.
Starters, I lost my dad around Christmas in 2019. This man didn't take anyone's shit, even if they had him by the balls. He was sweet, loved his family, but absolutely took no shit. He was the fucking man, but as life goes. We all live to die. During this time, I was still with my wife. A time that I needed to focus, I needed to keep my family together. I was the man now, and it was time to act.
I had a hard time being intentional having my wife constantly hold me back. It was hard to mourn when I had a significant other who insisted the attention be on her over my parent I lost. This was the the beginning of the end for my marriage, sadly.
I married into what I believed was someone who had the same morals, same ideologies as me. I was sadly mistaken, and after learning the we were on two different wavelengths, the universe did it’s thing. In a matter of a couple months, after many disturbing dealing’s with my wife, I had to cut my losses. This simply was a bad investment and I had to get the fuck out of dodge.
I'm sure you’ve been there, hell, you may be dealing with this as we speak. Constantly asking yourself, “Is this it?” “Is this person really for me”?
Or maybe you are 10000% certain about what you have, in that case, I am happy for you.
BUT if you’re asking yourself those questions, there's already a problem. Run while you have a chance.
My dad died, god bless his soul. He was a dad, with shortcomings but still, a dad. Losing him crushed me. My marriage? Shit happens! It obviously wasn’t meant to be, and no it wasn’t a mistake! Never! I don't regret it for one second. It just didn’t quite pan out. It’s okay, I had bigger plans waiting for me....
One door closes, another opens! Always be willing to go where the wind blows you, never know where it could take you.
In the mix of a divorce, came leaving my well paying job. I really enjoyed the work I did, having worked in Manhattan for sometime was a huge accomplishment that not many people can say they’ve done. But frankly, It didn't fill me up anymore. It didn’t cut it for me.
As much as I love money, as most of you know. Some referring to me as even frugal at times, the money couldn’t buy my sanity. Everyday I fought the demon in my head to quit. I wanted to quit because I wanted to dedicate my life to making an impact, not just making money. This was hard for anyone to understand from the outside looking in, it was hard for even me to understand what the hell I was attempting to accomplish by quitting my job to pursue, what? Making an impact doesn't pay the bills? Know what I mean. But I stopped thinking, and one day I snapped.
I snapped, I was done thinking about my plans, and instead. It was time to start acting. Simple as that
To me, making an impact is and always will be more important then money. I hear from many of you everyday thanking me and praising me for writing, my vlogs, my one on one conversations. THAT SHIT MOVES ME!
You wouldn’t believe how full I am after hearing I made an impact in a strangers life.
That's what is important to me. Making a difference, one soul out of time. The money is nice but it doesn't move me the way it moves some. I have to know I helped someone at the end of the day or I feel empty.
This is how I’ve found myself. and these days, I'm not playing games. It’s crunch time, come along or get the fuck out of the way.
These last few months have been devastating for me though.. They have torn me in directions that I didn’t know were even possible. I can’t stress how hard life has hit me.
But guess what?
I am so fucking thankful for it. I literally couldn’t be more happy that my life has played out this way.
My dad passing hurt so bad, hurt. But his passing finally revealed to me what it’s like to be a man. He showed me, and since December, I’ve been a bull. Everything that was meant to break me, only fueled me.
Every set back only made me buck harder, every single day.
My marriage was important because my parents never got married, and I owed it to myself to get married and live a happy life. Being married doesn't necessarily bring happiness though, reality check!
No job? Whatever
You see, living amongst chaos is normal to me! I love this shit.
I literally strive off of the chaos. My best friend turned out to betray me, as I suspected he would. Never felt betrayal so great. I couldn’t be more grateful for his choice, as life has a way of revealing itself guys.
find solace in the hell you might be in. we all feel hell somewhere in our life. double down, get a plan together, and be ready to execute.
Don't be a victim, no one likes a sissy.
Next blog isn’t about whats happen to me this year, it’s alllllll about what is going to be happening!
#ONLYTHEFUTURE
Buckle up. Love yall