The Tumblr app does this bullshit where if you write and leave the app for a prolonged period of time, it deletes your draft.
I had written this long thought out post about my last update and it’s gone.
I’m going to try to recreate it.
I didn’t want to write about things that made me sad, but that’s exactly what I did last week because writing is what I know best.
I was consumed by emotion and fear and hopelessness and it all spilled onto this blog.
I guess it happens.
Last week I made the decision that my pride was not worth the loss of this person. And so I told him that.
We worked through it. We are still working through it. I told him I felt insecure and would continue to feel it for a while and he told me he understood. It was his job to make me feel secure and he failed.
Anyway, I chose to fight for him. I don’t regret it. I’m happy and including him in my life brings me more joy than not.
I can’t envision a future where he and I are strangers. It doesn’t exist.
I’ve chosen to help us bloom like the new leaf on my calathea, a plant so beautiful, it hurts to look at it sometimes.
I have faith and hope that we will bloom and grow.
I came back home from the Thanksgiving weekend and found that my orchid flower had wilted, but these buds look promising, right?
I hope so.
And another happy update, here is my cactus who has another new pup.
