CLOSED STARTER | @onthestarsandsky
Tick. Tick. Tick. The sound of the clock in the very corner of the room was the only sound Dougie could hear. As well as the tap, tap, tapping of his shoe against the wooden floor as he continued to bob his knee up and down. He couldn’t focus on anything, wished he was anywhere but here. But he promised. He promised he would try and help himself. To get better. Better at what? He often himself asked that same question. Tended to deny that he even had a problem. He’d managed this long with little help, why did he need a support group? He couldn’t see the point in it but because he promised he would, he had to adhere to it. Not that he wanted to. In fact, the mere thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach. His heart pounded against his chest at a rapid rate, his fingers clutching tightly to the material of his trousers as he tried to steady his breathing pattern. The more people who entered, the smaller that the room felt as if the walls were closing in.
Distractions... Distractions... Dougie needed a distraction. A brief glance at the clock on the wall told him that it was precisely five minutes and maybe 23 seconds until the session began. In an attempt to take his mind off of the dread nestled in the pit of his tummy, to stop his thoughts from spiraling out of control, he turned to face the person in the chair next to him. Forcing a weak smile, he cleared his throat and decided to try and make some sort of conversation.
“So uh - have you... have you been here before? Or is this.. is - is this your first time too?” The words tumbled out, stammering a few as he tried to control himself from having some form of breakdown in front of the other people here. “Sorry, that’s an er - a...” Dougie choked on his words, looked up at the ceiling as if it would grant him ease, forcing away unshed tears of panic that blurred his vision. “It’s a random question, is what I meant to say,” He breathed out. “Sorry.” He added then, looking down at the floor, his head bowed in... shame? If that was the right word for it.









