#oops a personal post

[deancasotp]

im going to be really trying to distract myself today, the void won this morning and so i didnt goto class bc i was so sad and i missed a test but dammit, im going to be semi productive today and try to feel better so im making a list of things to do today

email teacher 

queue 50 posts on slayercas

queue 100 posts on a-mongomery

draw something

write 1k of dcbb

take out trash

get mail

eat

watch the new minecraft lets play

watch an episode of something happy

queue/post to queerwitchlings

read a chapter of the night shift

read a chapter of stardust

pick up a 3 things around the house

take vitamin d

also ps feel free to send me a msg if you’d like, i like talking to you guys <3

[drjanetcarter]

so im going out of town for a week tomorrow but right now i feel nauseous and gassy 

[deancasotp]

my astro test was...................................meh. im frustrated about it but whatever tbh, at least now i know and ill know not to believe the teacher when he says he’ll provide the equations for us lmao

im. so. tired. though. like that test took a lot out of me? and ive just been tired in general a lot lately, and i have so much homework to do that it’s making me want to do absolutely nothing so *lays down forever*

oh and btw ill reply to the last of the birthday msgs soon!!!!!

[deancasotp]

emily got me (and her obvs) tickets to a taping of @midnight for my birthday and it was so fucking funny my voice is hoarse and im so tired but it was amazing and made my entire day :))) 

[deancasotp]

can you tell I’ve been feeling off lately because I haven’t even reblogged all the wonderful posts about the US passing the marriage law......maybe I’ll do that later today and set my queue up while I’m at it?

also I think I’ve said this on here before but I think I’m mostly going to focus on fanon (fics, art, etc) spn because canon makes me too sad (like the travesty that was done to human!cas :(((( ) and I’ll probably (like 99.9% chance) only watch s11 eps after they air so I can brace for any issues that may appear in the ep (overuse of gendered slurs, charlie’s death, - things like that) but still try to enjoy the characters and the story :)

[deancasotp]

I think I might take a little impromptu break from here, i may be around a bit tomorrow after class to see what misha said but idk for how long really, ive been stressed and sick and today i can feel myself start to disassociate and it’s frustrating because i can’t stop it and also because im disassociating i dont really care rn lol ((shrugs)) idk why i get like this, hopefully it’ll only last for a day or so

[deancasotp]

im just really sad again today. maybe reblogging some cockles will help. *shrugs* doubtful. but maybe.

[deancasotp]

I had like a complete mental breakdown earlier and now I feel so drained but also strangely not tired? Idk whatever, I guess I'll finish a lets play or try to read a fic maybe