Gotta love getting hit with the "medical people NEVER get sick normally and always have some sort of fucked up shit" curse early:
Randomly lose half of vision in the middle of the holidays, when zero hospitals work full time
Find out reason is blood; NO problems with blood or blood vessels ever, yet somehow have shitton of weirdly positioned blood in the eye
Find an additional vessel that's not supposed to be there
Get hospitalised, start therapy, stay in hospital over the holidays
Therapy works badly; start the new semester generally seeing black™
Get scheduled for "What the fuck" surgery because the doctors want to know why therapy didn't work
Plan for surgery: survive. No algorithm, no predicted time for how long it'll last, no guarantees whether it does anything or whether or not I will even see anything. Just me and an ophtalmology OR wilding out.
Surgery IMMEDIATELY goes awry when anesthesia DOESN'T WORK. I feel nearly everything. Yikes
Anaesthesia uses enough anaesthetic to kill a horse, it still doesn't work.
The operation takes three hours, leaving everyone exhausted. I drift in and out of consciousness the entire time, usually passing out from pain. Takes so long I forget I have two eyes by the time surgery is done.
I break down when they start stitching the eye up and start full-on sobbing because I feel EVERYTHING, including the needle going through the eye. That is NOT something you easily recover from.
Immediately after the thing ends everyone in the OR (including me) makes the simultaneous decision that, if we need to do this again, I'm being knocked fully unconscious because what in the actual fuck
Anaesthesia fully goes away after half an hour from the OR, I'm in so much pain I can't even get up to press the "call nurse" button
Hospital roommate calls the nurse, I get an anti-pain injection, wake up four hours later groggy af with 19502030962 missed calls
First text is to the med school groupmate chat: "Just to add a new medical fear for you all: sometimes, anaesthesia doesn't work even when they add a quadruple dose:)"
Keep eye closed until evening eye drops because I'm scared to pull stitches
They take the bandage off and I CAN SEE. I'm not supposed to see and everything is warped to hell, but I SEE shapes and colours when there's just supposed to be a white haze.
Next day: "I'll start with a question. Am I supposed to only see a white haze?" "Yep" "Then why the FUCK am I seeing?" "Oh, that's a good sign. If you see a clear pocket, that's generally what the retina will send to the brain"
"So why didn't the anaesthesia work?" "Idk, I guess your daughter has a real good metabolism and doesn't drink or do drugs"
It's true - the three previous generations of my family were chemists + I don't even get drunk because alcohol filters out of my system too quickly. Generally lead a sober lifestyle because of it: what's the point of drinking when the trade off is literally ten minutes of fun vs. permanent liver damage
Not supposed to have clear vision. See bottom of my jacket with CRYSTAL CLARITY, in GREAT DETAIL when I'm being driven home. So I guess fuck the predictions too lmao
Anyway they still don't know what's wrong with me✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻 I'm a medical anomaly.
Secondly: either don't do drugs because they might not work, or do drugs so anaesthesia works on you.
