Thoughts and oppinions
((Heres the deal, I'm trying to write something that my niece and nephew can read some day, she's 4 months old, he's already 12, and started the first chapter of a book that I want to some how portray diversity, unity of friends and compassion. This is just a bit of chapter 1 so far and I want some opinions on it so far. I know the grammar is going to suck, I'm not a pro and kinda lame on writing details and scene settings too, but I am trying. That aside, leave opinions in my ask box or thoughts on the story. If you want to read more let me know, I will find a way to get you some more as I get it written. ))
It took a moment for his eyes to force their way open. The light was blinding and painful but he pushed on until everything began to come into view. His eyes stung with the glaring light of the fire around him. His ears were still ringing and his body ached all over. Letting his eyes adjust a bit more he dared to look where he had been standing when it happened. That was when panic struck him hard in the chest.
“Tichiba!?” He tried to scramble to his feet but found what strength he had moments ago was replaced with trembling limbs. He clawed at the ground under him trying to gain support with his weakened frame and get to his feet. He repeated the cry of her name as he finally stumble to a near standing position.
The room was opened up wide with flame, debris and bodies. He looked down in horror an arm beside him. He recognized the ring on the middle finger and the face came to mind. Mrs. Clarks was so fond of that ring. It was one of the only things she had left from the life she knew before all this happened. She had swallowed it before the round up . It was the only way to secure your smaller belongings.
“Tichiba!” He screamed again.
He could hear others coming to the realization of what had happened. There were screams and cries in the distance. The sound of a woman screaming bloody murder behind him caused him to turn his head. A woman he had been standing beside was pinned under part of the ceiling and looked to be in bad shape. His heart was pounding in his ears as he began his search again. He had to see her long brown hair again. She had to be alive.
He stumbled forward and felt the sharp pain of a broken leg shoot through him. He was sure that the pain would be worse if it wasn’t for the adrenaline coursing through his body at the moment. More screams and other names being called all around it, it was hard to pinpoint who was calling from where. He raised his hands again to his mouth to call when a small voice rang through the confusion.
“Marcus!” Tichiba pushed a burning chunk of wall away and walked toward him. She looked relived to see him alive until her hazel eyes drifted down to his leg. “Your hurt” she stepped forward quickly to grab him.
Marcus allowed her to catch him and sank against her smaller frame with his cockeyed smirk. “You look fine though” he teased her.
Tichiba would have normally rolled her eyes but there was too much panic and chaos in the air. “I have to get you out of here” she muttered as she began to drag him through the burning mess and over bodies.
The cool air hit Marcus’ dark skin making him a bit dizzy. He clung to Tichiba and allowed her to set him down away from the ruins of the temple.
She began to pull away but Marcus reached up and grabbed her. “Where are you going?”
“There are others still inside” Tichiba yanked her hand away from him. “I will get you to a doctor as soon as I can for your leg, but others are dyeing inside there.”
He could see the compassion in her eyes and felt it tug at his heart. “I just got you back Tichi. What if Legion arrives? I can’t run like this. “
“Then you better let me get the survivors quickly then.” Tichiba yanked away again and rushed back inside. Her white dress had been torn to ribbons and stained with dirt and ash but she still looked beautiful. Marcus looked off into the distance looking for signs of vehicles. Legion would not let them get too far away. The next question Marcus had was “what the hell happened?”
Three days earlier:
Tichiba’s eyes scanned the beaten sign that hung from rusted chains from what was once a large oak tree. “Maybe we can get a room for the night.” Ever the optimist.
Marcus groaned and set his pack on the ground. “I’ll take a barn at this point.” He lifted the pack after allowing his shoulder some time to rest and trudged on after her.
Most villages they entered were small, near desolate and they were often told to leave right off. This place was different. It was true that those with the least to give were often the most generous with what little that had and these people had seen loss. The symbols tattooed on the arms of many of the villagers told Marcus that almost everyone here had once spent time in a Legion camp. The first to approach was a tall thin woman with pale skin and white hair.
“Hello young ones” she greeted them. “You look to have traveled far.”
“We did” Tichiba smiled wide at the woman and set her bag down. “I’m Tichiba and this is my friend Marcus. We just came from the east.”
Marcus was ready to swat Tichi for giving her name so freely but so far there was no hostility.
“I’m Mrs. Clarks” the woman offered a hand. “Please come in and eat. You look starved.”
Marcus followed close behind Tichiba, his eyes scanning the other faces watching them. He then realized they were the youngest ones there. The two were lead into what he could only figure was the closest thing to diner they had. A few tables were left more or less in one piece and fewer real chairs. The rest were barrels, crates, and even the seat from an old truck was set at a table.
“Thank you” Tichiba began to peel off her poncho and set it aside. “We have a few things left to trade to thank you for your hospitality.”
“Where are all the young people at?” Marcus knew he was being rude and to the point. He caught sight of Tichiba glaring daggers at him from beside him. “There’s only old people here” he pushed on.
Mrs. Clarks forced a thin smile and clasped her withered hands together. “Legion took our young from us. We are all old and unable to rebuild or created new generations. We are as good as dead out here.”
“That’s terrible” Tichibia elbowed Marcus hard in the ribs for being so rude. “So I take it you don’t get many travelers like us then?”
Mrs. Clarks lit up a bit. “We had one. A few days ago a young man came through. Hair the color of raven wings and eyes like…”
“Emeralds” Tichibia finished. “We are looking for him.”
Mrs. Clarks nodded her head again “he said little but he was a great help while here. I have never seen anyone handle the heat like he did. He worked hard outside in the sun and never once burned. I believe him to be one of those special people the Legion is after. Is that why you are looking for him?”
Tichiba nodded this time “Pretty sure he is. I’m also sure that we are supposed to join him.”
“He headed west from here. Stay a while and rest and I will point you in the right direction when you are well enough to go.”
A man walked over and set two bowls of stew in front of them on the beaten table. Marcus wasted no time at digging in. He was starved and didn’t care what sort of meat might be in the stew, it was hot foot.
Tichiba looked a bit embarrassed of Marcus but the smell of food hit her as well and she began to dig in. Marcus took notice of a few set of eyes on them. A few of the patrons of the diner looked less than enthusiastic that they were there. There were those who trusted and even more who feared. Fear kept you alive after all.
One of the men stood from his table and made his way closer to the teens and looked down at them. He snorted in disgust at them. It wasn’t anything new to Marcus. They often ran into trouble because of their skin tones being together. Marcus was dark skinned where Tichiba was lighter in skin tone yet darker than most in this immediate region. Marcus wasn’t about to tolerate any remarks on their skin tones and looked up at the man, ready to fight.
“I see no marks on ya” the man sneered.
Marcus noticed the marks on the man’s arms. Tattoos from the Legion camp that indicated the man was a parent to a Special, but was normal himself.
“Just lucky I guess” Marcus shrugged. He turned back to his meal when the man reached down and grabbed him.
“No marks means your hiding something boy!”
“Franklin, let him go!” Mrs. Clarks scolded him from across the room.
Franklin let Marcus go and stepped back slowly. “You think your special, or blessed. Your cursed is what you are. Demons!” Franklin turned away and headed outside.
Tichiba had been called a demon before and it hurt still. She looked over at Marcus sheepishly but said nothing. She didn’t have to.
“Don’t worry Tichi” Marcus smiled at her. “He’s just mad he can’t get a tan like us” he teased.