OPRF Bulletin, Wednesday 11/5/15
FYI
Today’s lunch is the rest of the cafeteria staff’s left over candy. All the good stuff has already been eaten, so you’ll have to make do with the banana Laffy Taffy, the black licorice, and those weird caramel things with the cream stuff in the middle.
Strange Phenomenon of the Week (because yesterday’s post was stolen by the cruel fates of life)
As you probably know, all of the clocks in OPRF are perfectly synchronized with one another. This is not the Strange Phenomenon. The Strange Phenomenon is the old grandfather clock in the back room 499, which is always exactly fifteen minutes fast. The custodial staff has tried repeatedly to set it to the correct time, but after a few hours, the clock is always back to being exactly fifteen minutes fast. One custodian even tried setting the clock back to fifteen minutes BEFORE the correct time, but the clock somehow knew and jumped ahead by thirty minutes. Elizabeth Gödel, from Mysterious Object Club, says that the clock is most likely possessed and that administration should be thankful they don’t have a clock that eats students or sets fire to things, but administration really wants everything to be just right.
Student Opinion
Each week, we ask students for their answer to a specific question. This week’s question is “Havarti?”
“I’m fine thanks!” -Nathan, a freshman
“Provolone!” -Patrice, a junior
“Are you referencing Pajama Sam: No Need To Hide When It’s Dark Outside? That’s a deep pull, man.” -Adam, a Senior
Club Corner
Mysterious Object Club meets today in room 371 to discuss Maurice Fletchley’s four dimensional Klein bottle, Destiny Nash’s self-breaking pencil, and Benjamin Lackey’s set of elemental marbles.
College Callers
D College of Art and Design, room 207, period 2
E College of Music and Rhythm, room 207, period 3
M College of Logic and Common Sense, room 207, period 4
P College of Mathematics and Literature, room 207, period 5
S College of Jokes and Silly Walks, room 207, period 6
University of You Thought That Was Going To Spell Something But It Just Said ”Demps", room 207, period 7
University of Michigan, room 207, period 8