#or crack

[patfr8]

Oh no I had a cursed thought about Cole and Geo’s private moments…

How to make Cole dangerous and needy at the same time google search

[angeliclune]

“jonathan does drugs” and it’s just weed.

[atalante241]

I keep coming up with shitty founders era ideas

So konoha’s a thing already, but something went horribly wrong w/ the plumbing so that has to be fixed. It’s all going well until suddenly half of the team is in the hokage’s office bc things are somehow going even more wrong and no one knows why.

So the administration gets to play a game of rock paper scissors of who goes down into the sewers, Tobirama looses bc idfk but he does. So he joins the sewer squad and also comes to the conclusion of oh god this is horrible, we’re increasing everyone’s pay.

Meanwhile up top the village gets attacked. By what? Idk, something maybe giant killer bees.

So when the sewer squad comes back up (more annoyed bc did everyone sync their periods bc what was w/ all of that blood suddenly) only to come up to the whole village fucking flattened and the mf hokage and madara uchiha in separate comas both

[ilikeanythingwater]

soulmate AU, platonic or romantic. where one of them has passed but they're still in the mortal realm as a ghost and their soulmate doesn't know they're soulmates.

instead of moping (they do that at first, of course) they try to help them with little tasks. their (alive) soulmate wonders how everything seems to be going better than usual. the biggest help is whenever they're having panic attacks and suddenly their favorite mug is 'perfectly' in their line is sight, the printer that they thought was broken suddenly worked again or their favorite flavor of ice cream had coincidentally been available during their down days.

and it's all because of their soulmate who with the force and determination of ten thousand suns, became solid enough to move even the smallest of things on Earth.

because for them, despite being in literal different planes of existence, that's what they've wanted to do should they have been alive.

and when the day the other one also passes, they'll meet and everything clicks into place.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Listen, Coach Beard is a savvy, savvy dude (except in love) and there is no way he didn’t realize what sort of speculation so there are probably more people in this room who are gay would lead to. I see several possibilities here:

1. He had no particular predictions of his own but was interested in finding out who everyone else thought was gay. He is the last person shown to turn his head to Jamie, which may or may not support this (he might also have been playing it cool).

2. He had his suspicions about Jamie and wanted to press the issue a little… because of reasons? I can’t see Beard pushing for someone who isn’t ready to out themselves (unless he has been secretly sliding up on the Roy/Jamie train and figures a little sexuality reveal will speed things up between them, but does this seem likely?). Does he figure that Jamie maybe hasn’t quite grasped this about himself and figures a gentle nudge might get the boy to do some thinking? Does he assume that Jamie is so confident in who he is that he will happily out himself, and then potentially take the pressure of Isaac? No idea.

3. He doesn’t think Jamie is gay but he knows that everyone else does/will, and he’s just interested to see what Jamie Tartt will do when confronted with that fact. Partly because he’s just interested in human behavior, partly because Jamie’s surprised him this season, and now he’s trying to figure him out.

4. This has nothing to do with Jamie, just Beard trying to create a safe opportunity for Colin to come out if he wants to.

Yeah, I don’t know either. Maybe he didn’t realize how it would pan out - but nah, where’s the fun in that?

[teecupangel]

From your recent reblog of "Altair looks younger in his 60s than Ezio did in his 50s", I'm now convinced that Altair has an entire beauty program that he keeps RELIGIOUSLY. Malik, breaking down his door an hour after he went to bed: "Altair, get up, we have a situa- what the hell are you two doing" Altair, lounging next to Maria, both of them wearing bath robes and herbal face masks with cucumbers over the eyes: "It's called self-care." Maria, beckoning: "We've got extra, come join us" Malik: A novice is sent to fetch them all half an hour later, and finds the three of them relaxed and talking mad gossip about other people in the fortress

From this post where I left these tags:

#levantine assassin: why do you look so young?

#altaïr: (remembers the many health and beauty tips the apple gave him) ... good genes

Okay but you know what would be funny?

If Altaïr learned all his beauty programs from the Apple just showing him youtube videos of ‘alternate beauty care (ALL ORGANIC!)’ as holograms but I feel like the funnier take would be the Apple actually giving Altaïr schematics and the list of step-by-step procedures to recreate beauty cream and other products.

Malik finding some of them and wondering if they’re meant to be medicine or salves.

Only to figure out the truth behind such concoctions after seeing Altaïr and Maria having ‘me time’ together.

[chaliettesmain]

god the pizzacrust brainrot is real. now I really wanna write a fic that's past Pete (the Pete before he met Grian) speedruns and finishes a run, jumps in the portal and instead of the credits rolling, he's greeted with someone.