Dude i don't even care if my physical non-humanity is in my head.
I think = therefore I am
And I don't care if my eyes changing is a hallucination, or if I only shapeshift when I'm tripping balls, or if my mom nearly bleeding out while giving birth to me + the nurse saying it was the most blood she's ever seen during a birth was a coincidence, or if my bloodlust is undiagnosed anemia or a symptom of my mental illness, or if me physically & naturally being nocturnal when left to my own devices & not forced to stay up during the day & not being able to be not-nocturnal unless forced into a schedule and woken up at 9am each morning and made to stay in my room after 9pm is just a biological quirk, because nocturnalness is a weird ass biological quirk in humans, or if my magic powers are just my schizophrenia, or if my ability to see entities others don't is also that, I don't care if my aversion to holy symbols is just me being me because I just never liked religion, or if my hatred for even the slightest bit of sun on my skin is simply my pale complexion, I literally don't give a shit. Or if my birth year being 1999 upside down 666 w a 1 pointing down is simply a coincidence, or if my mom named me "Ashley Rose" without realizing how fucking vampiric that sounds like?? "ASHES ROSE"???? REFERENCE TO IMMORTALITY????? but I never got to ask her because she committed suicide and even before then when I was suspecting i was not human I didn't ask because we lived together but didn't interact bc I stayed in my room all day while she hung out with my r*ist downstairs and I just simply stopped acknowledging her and got high all day, I don't care if me surviving 100+ overdoses and 2 times nearly bleeding out from literally stabbing myself deep + the time I slashed myself open WITHOUT GETTING STITCHES EITHER TIME or all the other miscellaneous NDEs was luck or a higher power, I believe it was my immortality. I don't care if you think me looking literally 13 at 26 years old is just "good genes" I DON'T CAAAARE!!! Or if the people hissing at me on the streets was just them suffering a similar psychosis, no, that's unlikely, they recognized what I am + vamps r solitary, soooo... or if my ex who also IDed as a physical vampire told me she suspected me a vampire, too...... IDC ???? TOO MANY SIGNS
The amount of "coincidences" (as my real-life acquaintances call them.) is absolutely bonkers. Bonkers, I say. You'd have to be insane NOT to see the signs pointing to literal either 1 vampirism or 2 being a cambion. Idk which yet. But I know this shit means I'm not human. You're stupid if you see all these signs and say "coincidence".
But hey, sane humans may have some mental advantages, but they're absolutely clueless when it comes to putting 2 and 2 together. Like, sane non-schizospec humans just don't see the signs and clues right in fucking front of them. Gawddamn.
Edit: pinning this post for myself to see more frequently because I need self-validation my vampirism isn't in my head and this post lists quite a few proofs and evidences that I often forget day-to-day. Reading this post reminds me of the reality of it because I often struggle to keep in the front of my head all the truths that point to my physical nonhumanity.
