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I know this is just going to be met with a small chorus of "I don't see what the problem is" but while writing the next chapter of RBS I have now twice written something much hornier than what I had intended. The first time I cut it all out and dumped into another document for later use, but now I'm like back to the same word count as before and borderline using dog imagery and I guess I simply cannot just write soft, vague sex anymore.

#can't decide whether to start again #or keep going

When Aiden woke up in a hospital his first reaction was to panic. All it did was remind him of his childhood. When he was 13 his parents sent him away to a psych ward after he got diagnosed with depression.

For some reason their first thoughts was that he was a danger to himself. How could he be a danger to himself if he couldn't even get out of bed. All this reminded him of those horrid years in that hospital. All of the workers claimed that they were only trying to help him when all they did was make everything worse. Every single day he woke up in that place he wanted nothing more for it all to end. He wasn't a stranger to a routine, he use to just stay in bed all day, only getting up to use the bathroom. But that routine, that was hell. Maybe it was the lack of control that he had in there. Being forced to do activities with people when he didn't want to. 'It'll help you' they said 'Talking to people who share the same problem with you will help' it didn't.

Did his parents get sick of him again. Was learning about the phantom realm too much. Did they decide it was too much trouble to help him or did they think he truly lost it. Why did he have to be in a fucking hospital again?

His head snapped at the door opening as he backed away in the corner. No he wasn't doing this again.