As some of you may remember, I was going to get top surgery in november of 2025, but I kept fainting so the surgeons postponed it.
well: It finally happened! I got top surgery 5 days ago (as of the time writing this)!
Going to go in depth with it below the cut for anyone who wants to know. TW for discussions of surgery, needles
I'll try to be as brief as possible because I tend to overexplain everything and take forever to write posts.
I fainted when the surgeon described the surgery in moderate detail during my initial in person consultation. I then fainted again the day of surgery, as my surgeon was marking on my chest where he'd be cutting. (full on blacked out fainted, lost consciousness, the whole deal). They said "alright man we can't operate on you, you could a.) have an underlying condition or b.) we don't want you to look at your drains or scars post surgery while at home, then pass out and hit your head on your bathroom floor."
Okay. Get written referall to do a chest EKG of my heart and table tilt test with cardiologist. I didn't do the table tilt test because a.) my doctors (primary care, cardiologist, surgeon, even my therapist) didn't believe I had anything like POTs and this is likely largely psychological, and b.) it was gonna be at least $600. (The ekg was already like $200 after insurance...) My EKG came back totally fine. So my cardiologist declared I was physically fine and fit for surgery.
I dragged my feet a lot so this whole process took from November till now to happen. I could've probably gotten it done in 2-3 months but I didn't want to rush myself like I did the first time I got surgery. That was a good decision. I was a LOT more emotionally prepared and physically prepared (like in what items i bought for my recovery). I actually felt like I was ready for it.
My surgeon had to prescribe me a xanax for me to take about an hour before surgery and it worked. I was super chill and super out of it this time around.
The first two-ish days after surgery were relatively fine. I was out of it from the meds and slept a lot. I got a SEVERELY bad headache on day 2.5 that didn't go away till the middle of day 4. I think its because I had a crappy pillow and was laying down so much it strained the FUCK out of my neck. On day 4, I had to go out again to see the doctor and had a several hour long car trip home, and I focused on sitting up properly and basically keeping my head forward and still. The headache finally subsided after that.
I honestly haven't had much pain on my actual chest. Its been mostly in my back (from the super tight bandages they make you wear for the first few days) and head. My chest feels a little tight (and itchy...) but I didn't expect so little pain there.
Now, on day 5, I feel actually pretty normal. Obviously I can't lift my arms up much or anything heavy, but I was able to carefully do light house chores. There are some specific things I can't do (washing my hair is a big one, gotta wait for my fiance to get home to help with that) but I'm way more independent than I thought I'd be.
Oh, I also DID have a near-fainting episode again when i had my drains removed. It wasn't even particularly painful, just uncomfortable and weird, but it still freaked me out. So I asked my surgeon if I could get another xanex prescribed when I have to get my nipple sutures removed next week and he immediately started writing the prescription LOL. They said "its not normal we do that but yeah, for you its not worth it (to not be given xanax)".
I have been trying to do exposure therapy with my therapist to help alleviate my fainting (vasovagal syncope, to be specific) but its hard to completely overcome it. I guess its something I'll just have to deal with. I've at least gotten better with bloodwork and don't faint doing that anymore!
Okay this is super long. I had coffee and my understimulated brain soaked that shit right up. but for now I will be recovering and catching up on video games and hobbies 🛌
i was the most popular patient at the drs office today the doctor even wanted me to meet all his other doctor friends. turns out this is not a good thing
Fun fact of the day featuring Albus, because he has made my mind his home apparently.
So, when I first wrote the story, I barely had much idea of what I was doing, but one thing I kept in mind while writing him but just didn’t bother to mention it, was that he was trans. In the end I couldn’t include it and kinda miss it, but of course AUs exist and doesn’t need to be written.
It has just occurred to me that transphobic people on this site don't understand that nonbinary is not a transfem/transmasc monolith. As an agender person, that's a nonbinary identity. But I don't have to do any conventional transition to ungender my body and aesthetics. Because of this, I really am gonna go my whole life with certain people treating me as a man and operating with a queer man's level male privilege just because I'm amab and I'm agender. I'm aware of that. I acknowledge that and I'm not gonna leave the pocket or my lane. I have plenty of room to talk shit about cis gay men because if one thing about me ISN'T up for debate, it's that I'm amab and attracted to men. I'm gay!!! Lmaoo. Like bitch if biological sex is all that matters to you... I would fit the description still and you sound fucking stupid.
