Standing just outside the door, Borus looked down hands clutching the stupid pattern of stars and moons. It had taken almost an hour to get here, his body feeling heavier and heavier with each step. And he almost turned back once - resolve shattered, feet scrambling to go back the way he came - but he’d pressed on, something sick and twisted in his mind telling him it would be worth it. Worth whatever pain he was about to inflicted upon himself.
So that was how he found himself, opening the door to that dreaded room. He’d been prepared to see him, half the boy he used to be, laying in unfamiliar silence. But what he hadn’t been prepared for is the way his hands unconsciously gripped the bit of fleece he held, breath caught jaggedly in his throat, mind remembering all the times he’s looked at familiar faces in the same way. Remembering every time he’d been told that was the last time.
Looking away Borus took a deep breath.
“Amera told me I should bring this to you.” He said gently into the silence, as if Orry was just sleeping, waiting for the right words to wake. Standing there, it was a few moments before Borus remembered Oractous wasn’t going to respond, a thought which would have delighted him in the past, but now only made him feel a bit hollow.
Clutching the blanket in his hand Borus reached over, positioning it on the edge of the foot rest. Looking at it though, Borus bit his lips, having second thoughts about its placement. Because you know it just felt a bit impersonal hanging there, as if a nurse had forgotten it or something.
Glancing over toward Orractous though, Borus unfurled the blanket, mind now set on a new plan. Laying it over the mancer’s small frame, Borus positioned it across the bed, pulling it up to the boy’s shoulders. Orractous would probably hate to find it around him if he ever woke, a thought that only further cemented it’s placement in his mind.
“There, all better don’t you agree.” He said quietly, the corners of his mouth curling ever so slightly upward at the sight of Orractous, swarthed in the childish patterns of moons and stars.
Standing back Borus couldn’t help but to laugh at this situation. Laugh at everything that had gotten them to this point, the point where Borus was purposefully pulling a blanket over the General, and the General was in a sense letting him do it. Scrubbing a hand over his face Borus shook it all out, trying to make sense of all the shit that he was feeling at this exact moment.
“It’s funny I think I like you better in a coma.” He spoke aloud for lack of better things to say, knowing that he was only speaking to fill the silence now.
“Yea I know, ‘that was a horrible fucking joke Borus’” He joked trying to imitate the other as he sunk into the arm chair opposite the boy “Why thanks for noticing Orractous”
Shaking his head again Borus just glanced over at the other boy, wondering how he’d managed to get to this state. Putting words in his mouth, acting like Orractous would even care if he was here, putting in his time at his bed side. Because the sad truth of the matter was, the kid probably wouldn’t care. Borus’ presence was never going to be the thing that made the difference and deep down he knew it.
“I hate this.” Borus whispered voice barely audible, almost as if he didn’t even want to admit it, even if it was only to himself.
“I hate feeling like.” He paused trying to figure out the words to describe what was swirling around in his head at the moment. “I hate feeling like I cant do anything, about anything, and I just.” Stopping Borus took a deep breath, mouth teetering on the edge of so many things. Because there were so many things going on right now, with Markus, with Maia, with Orractous, and he just felt so helpless. He just felt as if the world was spinning so fast, and there was nothing he could do to catch up. Nothing he could do to get off, to take a breath, to figure out how to fix it.
Because how do you fix it? How do you wake someone from a coma, when you can barely wake yourself from your own nightmares. How do you protect a group member from potential downfall when you can barely keep your own position in tact? Scrubbing a hand down his face again Borus glance fell back on the boy in the bed.
If only Orry was a awake, things might be a little better. Because Orractous could stop all these horrible images running rampant inside Borus’ head.He could make sure they never find out. He could make people listen, more than Borus ever could. If only Orry was awake, he’d be able to help them. Help Him.
“Orry.” Borus whispered hand reaching out towards the other, not really knowing what he was doing, but knowing it just felt like the right thing to do. “Orry We need your help.”
He didn’t know why he said it, because Borus Garkow never asked anyone for help. But these were all battles he was never designed to win. And he was scared, so scared of what losing could mean.
“And I don’t mean we as in the world.” Borus continued words just falling out of his mouth as he tried to hold it all together “I mean we as in. As in Markus, and Denian, and Amera, and Limian. They need you, because I can’t,” he stopped words caught like jagged pieces in his throat. “I can’t protect them like you can.”
I cant protect him like you can.
Shaking his head Borus tried to just breathe, feeling the fear, and the sadness well up within him. “Thats why you have to wake up, ok” He whispered a single tear rolling down his cheek. “Thats why you have to wake up Orractous.”
Turning away Borus looked down at his feet.
“Fuck.” He let out with a sigh pushing the feeling back down into his chest again. “And here I am crying over someone wouldn’t give two shits whether I lived or died, huh. What a loser, right Orry?” Borus joked, scrubbing his hand across the back of his face. Because joking was better than anything right now. Even if, as they’d already established, they were horrible jokes.
Sitting there in silence for a few seconds Borus bit his lips wondering if he should go. Because he probably should. But then again, he didn’t really have the strength to be home right now, to comfort Markus right now.
So that is how Borus found himself, eyes falling onto the book lying next to the boy on the bed side table. Picking it up Borus turned it over in his hand. He didn’t recognize the title, but then again its wasn’t like he was a heavy reader or anything. “Alright. Lets see what these people think you like to read,” He spoke aloud trying to smile at Orractous as he opened it to the first chapter. Clearing his throat a little Borus sank back slightly into the chair before he simply started to read.
Taking a deep breath, Borus slowly climbed the rough stone steps, his legs feeling like lead underneath him. It had been a rough walk over, his feet stopping every few feet or so, every fiber of his being screaming at him to turn and run. Because if Borus had learned anything over the years, it was that processing emotions and being vulnerable was not his forte. But today, today was the day he was going to get over shit. Today was the day this stupid situation and his stupid feelings about it were going to stop haunting him, and while he might not be ready to forgive Varamadras, there was at least one person that he could try to makes amends with
Because Orractous was as much a victim of this whole, misplaced demon lord anger episode, as he was. And, well, Borus figured that after almost 70 years of running, today, today he was going to step up and be a worthy example. Even if Orractous would most likely laugh him off his front porch for this.
Shaking his head a little, and preparing himself to never be able to show his face in government meetings again Bours curled his fingers into a fist. Rapping his knuckles on the hard wood of the door him front of him, he stood waiting for the kids to open the door, jaw set in line.
This ain’t a scene; it’s a God damn arms race | Markus and Orractous
The only bad part about not being deployed for two days when of course you're usually deployed, is that 5 people can eat through what little food is in the apartment food pretty quickly. Which in most cases wouldn't have phased Markus, but today, yea he couldn't afford the time it would take for him to go buy groceries, bring them back, and then make his meal.
So that was how Markus found himself, entering the crowded mess hall, trying to keep his head down and not draw attention to himself. But like wildfire the news had obviously spread through the ranks, whispers floating in the air all around him as he grabbed his tray of food. Scanning for a spot to sit, so he consume his food as fast as humanly possible and not you know cause any more of a scene, he beelined for the one relatively empty table in the back, only four or five people sitting at it already.
Unfortunately for Markus the one person he did not want to see just happened to be sitting at it as well.
"In a perfect world, I'd be able to hit both at the same time," Marius replied. "Of course, we all have to make do within our physical limitations, so I'll gratefully settle for the face."
Slowly, carefully, he moved a bit to the right to get a better angle, knowing that in all likelihood he would only be able to get in one punch and one punch only -- he wanted to make it count. Break the insolent little pup's nose, maybe.
Just a bit more to the side, come on now-- He gave Orractous a wide grin. "Of course there's a connection! Glad to hear that you at least managed to see that. Shall I give you a round of applause?" Marius raised his hands, then, only to drop one of them back down and throw the other in the general direction of Orractous' face. Didn't matter whether he'd get reprimanded for this later; the pup had had it coming for a while now.
