#otbaw

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

!!

Hiiiiii Pallas!!! You got guy with the same name as one of my favorites of your guys!!

Name: Clarence Williams

Pronouns: he/him but he’s like 11 so he’s still on the defaults

From: Of Turnstike Boots and Williamses (vampires and lesbians story)

He’s just a kiiiid and life is a nightmare! No jk life is pretty good he’s staying with his favorite (don’t tell his other aunts) aunt for the summer and having generally a Grand Old Time poking around the town and befriending the neighbors (even the Turnstike/ down the block who are capital W Weird and mostly not too sociable (not you Tucker we know you’re an extrovert Tucker) and getting into trouble! Not too much trouble, usually, but the inciting incident of the novel is very much Clarence almost getting run over by Monty (Montague. Don’t call him Monty.) Turnstike’s runaway carriage (he’s fine), which leads to his aunt Ada finally introducing herself to the mechanic across the street who saved his life and jumpstarting the plot!

Overall just a sweet kid who’s Here For The Shenanigans (and boy Howdy are there many)

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

The lesbians are NOT vampires and the vampires are not lesbians but there are both lesbians and vampires in this story.

I updated the quiz and figured I’d post it at not 4am!!

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

For the alphabet soup ask game, S and C?

oooOOOOOH!

Okay for S I give you Skippy Turnstike my beloved vampire with the braincell and the backstory about which everybody is making shit up at random (the joke is that it all winds up being true). He’s Australian. He’s a doctor, technically. He’s the only one in the damn house who can keep his head on in a crisis, and he does NOT get paid enough. (Because technically he doesn’t have a job, they’re just kind of living off of one of his fake (for tax purposes) cousins’s family (unrelated to the rest of the household) fortune)

And for C I give you my guy Catalyzer robobs but most of his explanation is going under the cut because it contains extreme spoilers for Transformers comics

(Guy on the left, art by @orange-artist)(Oracle and Aster by @nosongunsung11 and @orange-artist respectively!)

SO! He’s old as hell. Was created as half of a matched offense/defense set (flamethrower/shield)(he’s the shield) for the god of transformation, got lobotomized when his flamethrower partner got promoted without him (for being able to lobotomize people) and decided that he looked bad on his resume, and was on the Big Journey to the ends of the universe to see what’s out there and find heaven. Unfortunately, they found heaven. (It’s a hospice planet that shows you what you want to see before euthanizing you) and even more unfortunately, he saw his nephew, who’d stown away on the trip so she could see the world and who he’d promised he’d keep safe, die in front of him, and after that Couldn’t buy in to what the planet showed him enough for it to get him, so he essentially spent ten million years on the euthanasia planet hallucinating and rusting in the corner, to the point that when he’s finally rescued it takes him a Long Ass Time to realize that they’re actually there this time and he’s not just finally giving in to it.

He has a big fuckoff axe and can reshape the ground of the planet he’s from and he’s a bitchass old man who is absolutely devoted to 1 2 3 2 3 4 people not counting god and everyone else can choke <3. Also he’s autistic as hell and kind of really intense about the things he believes in (affectionate but kind of off putting) and we have an au where instead of his nephew dying he winds up co-parenting her with his flamethrower partner’s ex wife and they visit her actual mom on the weekends because she also got lobotomized by the same guy and doesn’t remember that she has a daughter at all.

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

B

Getting into the deep cut blorbos tonight! The only B I can think of is a side character from the lesbians and vampires novel I started writing in high school— he’s the main character’s older brother/father of her nephew, trumpet player, and wife guy extraordinaire.

(Preemptive apology for my 17 year old ass’s writing here I. Could do it better now and this is Painful BECAUSE I could do it better now)

(Precursor to Joel oscu, for those who are aware of Joel oscu)

[peanuts-stop-time]

(This is a WHOLE different story but you know sometimes it be like that)

Here’s the (modern au) HUMANS from the thing I’ve actually like written on; left to right, top to bottom:

Ada Williams: the sweet, mild mannered caterer who doesn’t have time for any of this shit but is too polite to just ignore her neighbors. And she’s supposed to be watching Clarence, who is the reason a lot of it is happening

Rosie Boot: the mechanic/inventor across the street, newly returned to town after touring Europe, friendly, jovial, dumb as shit, and always good for a joke. Probably not a good joke, but definitely a joke!

Clarence Williams: Ada’s visiting nephew, generally well meaning but very mischievous, always in some scrape or another (usually literally), very much enjoys hanging out at Rosie’s shop with her and Milton

Milton Weatherby: everyone’s favorite local dumbass! Rosie’s assistant/the local wagoner; he has the BIGGEST crush on Rosie (he hasn’t noticed she’s hella gay), he’s very sweet, very easy to fluster, and VERY bad with words.

pls ask me about them

[ask-petya-rostov]

//Hey guys does anyone want to read this to the end of chapter 3 and give me some predictions? Also without reading the tags bc that kinda gives stuff away