Second First Date
“Sorry I missed your call before.”
I slid my head buds in and slipped my phone back into my back pocket as I walked around the store. Cleo and I were meeting up with the rest of the group later for dinner. We were going to Liam’s. He was cooking and Louis was bringing some bread he wanted us to try.
Something about tomato and Rosemary Focaccia, I think?
For now, Cleo and I were strolling around a kitschy store that was one train stop down from me. I was admiring a cat mug when Mehar called for the second time. The first time had been when I was in the shower earlier and I'd forgotten to call her back.
“It's chill,” Mehar said casually. “I just wanted to see how you're doing. See if you've had anything exciting happen. I've got a paper to do and I'm putting it off.”
“What's the paper on?” I asked.
“Noooooo,” Mehar complained. “I'm calling to get away from it. You can't ask me about it. You're supposed to distract me.”
I rolled my eyes and put the cat mug down. “I apologize. I will not ask again; I will do my distraction duties properly from here on out.”
“So…” she started. “Anything fun or exciting happen?”
Yes. “Nope.”
“Nothing?” Mehar sounded sceptical.
Under no circumstances was I telling her about my date the other night. Especially since 1. I didn’t even know it was a date until after the date was over and 2. Cleo was well within earshot of anything I could say about it. If Cleo heard the whole friend group would know and I could see that future unfold behind my eyes.
Cleo would send a message to the group--the one with Niall in it this time--and our lives as we knew them would cease to exist. I’d already had a sneak preview after the binge-watching day, and I was not looking forward to hearing the remixed version of ‘We Told You So.’
I loved my friends, admired them, but knowing how we got whenever Cleo or Liam or Louis had a date was not giving me the best vibes to tell them about my date. We were actually ravenous for each other’s embarrassing stories, thrived off of them. It was unusual for me to go on a date--I was just kind of picky, not because I’m a prude or anything. So typically, the embarrassment was saved for my three other single friends. I was not willing to throw myself into the fire just yet.
Niall and I had texted each other yesterday after the group decided on dinner tonight, and we’d decided to keep whatever was going on between us to ourselves, at least until we figured out just what it was that was going on.
It wasn’t that we thought we’d act all that different around each other, not too much had changed between us, really. We hadn’t kissed or even held hands yet. We did decide to keep the physical contact to a minimum though. We could handle that easily enough. We weren’t teenagers who couldn’t control ourselves. We were adults, we could be normal, act normally without any trouble.
I knew that just being in the same vicinity as Niall, I would feel comfortable. With five other individuals there hell-bent on getting the two of us together, individuals who knew me--and admittedly Niall--better than anyone else, it was sure to be an entertaining evening, to say the least. It would prove to be a test for Niall and me, however hard that test was would depend on the diligence of our best friends. We’d been texting back and forth all morning about how to successfully avoid each other while surrounded by the crew.
I had faith in us.
I did not have faith in Mehar though, either. She was garbage at keeping her mouth shut, and she had Cleo’s number. Even if Cleo somehow didn’t hear me tell Mehar about the date or the one we’d planned for Tuesday night, Mehar would spill the beans. Of that, I was sure.
So no, I would not be telling my sister about Niall, at least until after my friends knew.
This was different from the other secret I was keeping. That other secret was in another realm, and would forever stay locked away in that other realm. This secret was just a little one that would be told when the time was right. I didn’t feel it weighing on my conscious at all. I didn’t feel anything remotely close to guilt keeping it from my friends, nor did I feel weird or heavy about not telling Mehar.
I moved over and picked up a notebook that had pre-written greeting cards that were puns. I was a sucker for a good pun. I started flipping through the pages as Mehar started talking again when I didn’t respond to her right away.
“I find that hard to believe,” Mehar said as I tried not to giggle out loud at a pun about bread.
“You shouldn’t,” I said now.
“You are absolutely horrible as a distraction,” she groaned. I could hear a thud. If I knew my sister, and I’d like to think that I do, she had just flopped down onto either her bed or the couch in her apartment.
I laughed at her.
“Mehar.” I shook my head and placed the book back down on its shelf, moving around to start looking at the rings on display. “I’ve told you before, I’m not all that interesting. I go to work, workout, sleep. Really not much to me.”
“So you’ve not given any more thoughts to dating apps then?” She asked, her voice muffled by something, probably a cushion or a pillow.
“I don’t need dating apps,” I told her, admiring a ring with a small, square green stone. “I’m fine without them.” I placed the ring on my middle finger. It looked cute.
I held it up to Cleo who looked up from the incense section and nodded her approval. I took it off but kept it in my hand. It was a decent price. I was going to get it. I liked wearing rings.
“You’re fine without them?” Mehar asked sceptically. “Ruby. When was the last time you went on a date? Or had sex? I mean, are you okay?”
“Mehar!” I whisper yelled into my phone. “I go out,” I said quietly.
“Oh yeah?” She asked. “Can you actually remember the last time you had sex?”
I love my little sister but she can be infuriating. I think that’s true for all people in your life. You even love the ridiculous things they do, like when your little sister calls you out for your lack of recent sex and you want to be mad but all you can do is blush with embarrassment and shake your head at her audacity.
“Mehar, I don’t need this from you.” I started walking around the store, looking at the posters on the far wall of various sights and attractions for Chicago. “I get enough of this from my friends.”
“Well if you truly were going out you wouldn’t be getting this from any of us,” she countered with a triumphant tone to her voice. “But you would be getting it.”
I could hear the insinuation. I bit my tongue and took a deep breath.
“You are the worst little sister,” I groaned. “The actual worst.”
“You love me.”
“I do,” I relented. “But you are annoying.”
“I’m just looking out for you, Ruby. I worry about you, big sister.” Her whole tone changed and she suddenly sounded sweet as Louis’ cherry pie. I wanted to vomit just hearing it.
“Oh no.” I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “You’re good. That was good.”
“I’ll take my Oscar now,” she chimed from the other end of the line.
“You’ll get nothing and like it,” I joked.
“Harsh.”
“Yeah, well, you did bring my sex life into this,” I said back.
“True.” She laughed. “But are you actually okay? I know we were joking before, but it really has been a long time since you’ve dated someone consistently, Ruby. I am genuinely concerned.”
“How do you know if it’s been a long time since I dated?” I asked. “I don’t always tell you everything, Mehar.”
“Excuse me?” Her voice went up in pitch. I instantly regretted my words. “You don’t always tell me everything? Does this mean that you are seeing someone? I mean, you’re saying no to dating apps and you’re being all uppity when I ask you about it. That could be because you are seeing someone and just don’t want to tell me. Your sister. Who tells you everything.”
“Some things she should probably keep to herself,” I said while looking at a backwards necklace--one of those that’s a choker in the front but hangs down your spine for when you’re wearing something backless. Which, for me is not often, but it was cute and I’m easily distracted by shiny things.
“Probably,” she said lightly, “but I don’t care all that much. Besides, we’re talking about you and these dates you’ve not been telling me about.”
“I’m not telling you because there’s nothing to tell, Me.” I rolled my eyes. “This is not some big conspiracy, I’m not keeping anything from you. I’m happy with my situation.”
“If you say so.” She gave in pretty easily. I knew she’d be thinking about it for quite a while, but at least for now she was going to let it drop. “So can I tell you about this guy in my abnormal psychology class? He is literally goals.”
“I’d love to hear,” I told her as I put her on mute and paid for my ring.
Once she’d told me the story of the guy in her class, we said our goodbyes and then Cleo and I crossed the street and went into a shoe store where our self-restraint was severely tested.
Once we’d finished there--Cleo having bought two pairs of shoes and me restraining myself to only one--we’d gone back to mine and flicked through episodes of Netflix shows to pass the time before we had to leave for Liam’s.
“Louis seems happier recently,” Cleo gave me a look as chose an episode on my laptop. It was Parenthood.
“You think?” I asked as I put my legs up over hers.
“Yeah.” She nodded, but her eyes were focused on the show. “Well, like he’s always happy, you know that. Our little Louis is literally sunshine. But it’s different now. I think it’s Niall.”
“It could be.” I shrugged as I leaned my head against her shoulder. “I think they were really close in college. They lived together for four years. It’s kind of like us after we graduated,” I said. “I was still happy, still going on with my life, but when I moved here and we lived together and even now? I’m a much happier person than I was back then.”
“Yeah,” Cleo said now. “I guess the difference there is that even though we talked when we were apart I didn’t really see you, so I didn’t notice the change.”
“Exactly,” I said. “Plus, I genuinely don’t think Louis ever expected to see Niall again. He was gone for almost four years.”
“Shit. I didn’t realize it had been that long. That’s probably a big part of it.”
“Plus, this coming week is Louis’ first week only working five days. It took a lot of strong-arming from his mom---and me--but he finally caved. He’s been lighter since he made the decision.”
“Oh no way,” Cleo actually took her attention away from the show to look up at me. “We’re really going to have him for the whole weekend?”
I nodded my head. “He’s nervous, worried because neither of us will be in the store on either day of the weekend, and he usually likes to keep an eye on things as much as he can, but he’s really trying to just take it in stride. I think he’ll be better for it.”
“I’m really proud of him.”
“Me too,” I said.
“He’s going to be begging us to go out more now though, isn’t he?”
“Oh, definitely.” I laughed as we settled in and watched the episode.
It was still warm on Tuesday, so I settled for a camisole and patterned cardigan. I looked in my bathroom mirror, double checking my lipstick and my hair and glancing at the watch on my wrist. I was actually trying this time, not in denial that this was, in fact, a date, like I had been the first time.
Because Niall and I only lived two train stops away from each other, we’d decided to meet in the middle at the Belmont stop and find somewhere to grab food. It wasn’t too long of a walk for either of us so neither of us would have to take the train, and I was hoping to convince Niall to go to this poké place with me. I was mindful of Niall’s possible lactose intolerance and thought it was just the right amount of casual for what we were going for. Truth be told though if he said no and we went somewhere else, I wouldn’t care.
I was feeling really good about tonight as I stepped out of my bathroom and grabbed my phone, cards, and keys. Sunday night had gone really well with our friends. Niall and I were casual. Not that we’d been more than that, not really, not even when we’d been alone together. Just like I thought, it had been easy to act like nothing was (possibly) going on between us.
We were mostly focused on Liam and Louis though, which helped take a lot of attention off of the two of us. Liam for telling us that he found a couple that was going to buy the condo he’d shown last weekend, and Louis for telling everyone about his taking an extra day off each week.
There was also Harry, who had a school assembly he was tasked with single-handedly organising and to top it off, he was worried that his fifth-grade chorus was going to mess up their performance at said assembly. Dinner at Liam’s was the first time he’d stepped away from his laptop and planner all weekend.
He was a little bitter that none of his friends had offered to help him with the planning, but Cleo remained firm on her ‘no additional duties outside of teaching’ stance while Ana claimed she’d been too busy creating the new end-of-term project for her fourth graders, and Liam blamed it on his trying to balance writing the contract for the couple and his weekly lesson plans.
Harry wasn’t actually upset with any of them, of course, understanding that they were equally busy, but he did do an awful lot of pouting throughout the night. It was quite endearing.
I did one last look in the mirror before I locked my door behind me, jogged down the stairs, locked the front door, and was out on the sidewalk, walking in the perfect temperature evening to get food with a guy I liked.
Niall had mentioned something on the way home on Sunday evening, while we were sat side-by-side on the train, that we should probably talk about what we were doing. When he saw the almost terrified look on my face he backtracked rather quickly.
“‘M’not saying we have to know what this is,” he gestured between us, “not just yet, anyway. But, in regards to our friends, Louis in particular, I think we need to be on the same page.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief and nodded. “Right, that’s smart.”
He gave me a soft smile, one that didn’t make his dimple pop but still transformed his whole face and made a warmth spread through me at the sight. When he got off the train, after we’d listened to the song, he’d made me promise that I’d text him when I was home safely.
Tonight was some kind of wonderful in terms of temperature as I walked South. It wasn’t cold and it wasn’t hot enough that I was sweaty from my walk either. With daylight savings time two weeks away, the sun had definitely already set, but the sky was still a light blue. The trees I was passing under were almost bare, and that was the most telling part of what was to happen in the coming months. With the passing of false fall, all of the trees had shed their leaves in the cold and only served as reminders of the harsh winter that was to come our way sooner than we might realise.
St. Louis was far enough South that in the summers it would be absolutely blistering, and the winters weren’t all that miserable. We’d get some decent snow a few times a year, but all-in-all it wasn’t all that bad. Ann Arbor, on the other hand, was freezing. Sure, it was hot in the summers, but I’d never known cold like that until my first winter there Freshman year of college.
Then I’d moved to Chicago. I learned the definition of cold when I’d moved to Chicago. My first year spring here we were still getting snow storms in mid-April. Once it was May the weather was clear and warm and perfect weather for shorts and a t-shirt, almost as if two weeks before there hadn’t been a foot of snow on the ground.
No matter where I was though, October was the time of year that really grounded me. All my life, I’d never liked one season more than another, but there was something about October. I’d read a quote that was about how trees reveal their colours in October and how people have October’s as well. I really liked focusing on what people could do when they were showing their colours, being true to themselves. I’d think about what it meant to be true to myself each October.
It wasn’t long before I found myself standing underneath the North side of the Belmont station, people watching while I waited for Niall. The man in question showed up just a minute or so after me. When he looked up and his eyes met mine the smile that spread across his face warmed me to my core. It made me smile back just as big.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waitin’ long,” Niall said as he came up beside me. I was unprepared for him to wrap an arm around me and kiss my cheek, but as it was happening I couldn’t help but think about how natural it felt, how I shouldn’t have expected anything else from him.
“Not at all,” I told him, leaning into him for a moment before he pulled back. “I only just got here.”
I couldn’t help myself from looking him over, even if I’d only seen him two days ago. His beard was filling in nicely, and his hair was just as floofy and soft-looking as usual, and there weren’t any dark circles under his eyes. He had on a striped long sleeve shirt under his jean jacket that was making me think irrationally. The power of a shirt, apparently.
“Good,” he smiled again and gestured for me to lead the way. “Ready for our second first date?” he asked.
I laughed and nodded. Seeing as this was the first time we’d gone out that I’d realized it was a date--something I’d told him over the weekend--we had deemed this our second first date.
“What’re you feeling like getting to eat?”
I shrugged as we started walking toward where I knew there was a lot of good food options for us to choose from.
“I’m up for anything,” I said. “What about you?”
“I defer to your preference,” Niall said and waved his hand a bit toward the busy street around us that was swiftly coming alive as the sky darkened and the lights in the shop windows began to glow. The sounds of the train in the background, people chatting as they walked by, and the cars all served to centre me. It was weird, but I found peace on a busy Chicago street. “I’ve been gone too long and you know the area better,” he told me.
“You good with Asian food?” I asked.
Niall brightened. “I love it.”
“All kinds?” I asked.
“Whatever it is, I’m in,” he told me, and quickly before I could process what he was doing, he grabbed my right hand in his left--intertwining our fingers--and gave me a look. “Lead the way.”
So I did.
It was only a five-minute walk, if that, from the station, and when I nodded toward the front of the shop Niall lit up. I took that as an affirmative and together we went inside.
“I just can’t do anything too spicy,” he said as we got on the line together. “So you’ll have to tell me if what I pick is going to kill me or not.”
I laughed. “I can definitely do that,” I told him. “The best part is that you can always choose whatever you want, a make-your-own option, and pick whichever sauces you’d like.”
Niall rubbed his hands together in excitement as he turned from me to start studying the menu. I already knew what I was getting, so I just watched him. His eyes scanning the words, occasionally squinting, as he tried to decide.
“What’re you getting?” he asked me after a bit. We were almost up to order but I shook my head at his question.
“I’ll order first so you can see what I get,” I told him. “But! You are not allowed to get the same thing as me.”
“You’re one of those people?” His face was riddled with amusement as he let me step ahead of him so that I could order first.
“One of what people?”
“One of those people that gets upset when someone orders the same thing as them,” he said. “My brother would never let me get whatever he was getting when we’d go anywhere.”
“I’m not that bad. I just don’t want you to blame me if you get the same thing and end up hating it,” I explained.
Niall thought about that for a second before he nodded. “Fair enough.”
He studied the menu for another minute.
“Kahiki?”
“Spicy.”
“Huli Huli?”
“Sweet.”
He nodded and was about to ask something else, but our conversation was cut off when the person behind the counter asked me what I was getting and I walked them through my order. I tried not to watch Niall and focus on what I was ordering, but my eyes kept drifting over to him as he deliberated his options. He folded his arms at first, but then he’d lifted one hand up to his mouth, brushing his knuckles along his chin, scratching at his beard while he chose toppings.
When my bowl was finished and I was at the cashier, I told her we were both on the same tab and then when Niall was still ordering I handed over my card and paid. The look on his face when he came up beside me as I signed the receipt was that of mild frustration.
“Is that the real reason you ordered first?” he asked as we found a table and settled down.
“It just happened that way.” I shrugged and handed him some napkins I’d picked up.
He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. Not for the first time, but for the first time I admit it to myself, I wished it was my hand that was running through that soft looking hair.
“You paid for your own drinks last time, and now you’ve paid for our meal.” He shook his head. “You’re trying to make me feel bad, aren’t you?”
I bit my bottom lip to try and hide my smirk but he caught it anyway.
“I’m sorry. You can pay for drinks after this, or desert, or both. Whatever we decide on after this, you are absolutely going to be the one who pays for it,” I started rambling.
He just looked at me for a moment, nothing given away by his face before I noted the way his lips picked up just slightly on the left side.
“You’re somethin’ else, Ruby.”
“Good something else, or?” I asked. I had a feeling he meant it as good, what with the smile it appeared he was trying to hide, but I could never be too sure.
“Good.” He nodded. “Definitely good.”
“Then I’ll take that.”
“Would you ever get a tattoo?” I asked him as he took a bite of the chocolate cake doughnut he’s chosen, into his mouth.
After we’d finished our dinner we’d decided to get dessert, and again Niall had let me choose the place, so I chose Stan's Donuts not too far a walk from where we’d eaten dinner. He did get to pay this time, so that seemed to relax him a bit. Together we had taken our doughnuts--and Niall got himself a coffee as well--and we’d just started walking around, toward the waterfront, but as it was getting late, we didn’t really have a destination in mind, just walking a bit aimlessly.
We’d gotten onto the subject of tattoos when we’d passed a shop and I mentioned that Louis’ place wasn’t far off from here and that he’d been thinking of adding something else to his left arm’s smattering of tattoos. He’d introduced Cleo, Ana and Liam to it. Cleo had a mess of small, simple tattoos in various places all over her body. We’re talking side-boob, ankle, shoulder, back of her elbow, top of the thigh…. Each tattoo was something small and simple.
Ana had a massive flower scape on her left thigh that she’s always extending, and as a result can only wear longer skirts, dresses, and pants to work for fear of seeming unprofessional when she’s teaching twelve-year-olds. What started as a sunflower in tribute to her relationship with her mother had extended into a conglomerate of flowers all over the front of her leg. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had it wrap all the way around at some point.
Liam was different when it came to his tattoos. We’ve only seen glimpses of the tattoo scheme on the back of his neck, peeking out from the collar of his t-shirts. He said it was a massive outdoor scape. It started at his low back with evergreen trees and extended up to a massive and intricate compass that had two arrows intersecting behind it. Extending up from that were mountains and more trees that traversed the span of his shoulders. One shoulder was a daylight sky with the sun and birds and the other side is a night sky that has a crescent moon and the Virgo constellation.
It took him a ridiculous amount of sessions to get to where it was now and I don’t think any of us have seen it in its entirety. He had started it at the beginning of the year and was still getting bits done over the summer, so he was cautious about getting it sunburnt and even when we went to the beach he was always wearing a shirt to cover it up, protect it.
“No.” Niall shook his head in response to my question.
“Afraid of needles?”
“Terrified.”
I nodded and took a bite of my own doughnut--a peanut butter pocket. I might have to get to the gym early tomorrow and do a bit of a workout before class with all the food I’ve eaten tonight. I felt like I was going to burst.
“What about when you lived with Louis? I mean, he’s covered. You never thought about it even then?”
“I mean…” he paused a bit for suspense. “No.”
I laughed just a little at his clear discomfort at even the thought of getting a tattoo.
“What about you?” he asked after a minute. “Would you get one?”
“I’ve got one,” I said.
He whipped his head toward me so fast I thought he might’ve gotten whiplash. The shock on his face was clear. I gave him an amused look as I ate another bite of my doughnut.
We stopped at a light, waiting to cross, and he shook himself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was judging you.” His face crinkled as he backtracked a bit.
“I understood what you were trying to get across,” I assured him. “I didn’t take offence.”
“So what is it?” he asked.
“It’s a lotus flower,” I said. “It’s on my upper back if you’d like to see it.”
He nodded as the light changed, and so we just kept walking.
“Does it have a meaning?” he asked as we arrived at the harbour and started on the LakeFront Trail, a bit out of the way of the traffic behind us.
I nodded. “Cleo was getting her third tattoo our junior year and has asked me to go with her so that we could get dinner afterwards. It was a small tattoo but I had to wait a couple of minutes as she was filling out her forms and I started talking to one of the other tattoo artists. Eventually, he started drawing up designs for what I was talking about. I scheduled with him to go back the next week and get it inked.”
We passed under a light so I paused my story and stopped under the light. I shrugged my cardigan down and it fell low enough on my back to show the flower on my spine right between my shoulder blades.
While Niall looked at it, I continued on.
“Lotus flowers are a symbol for the human condition,” I said and I felt him bring one hand up and start tracing it lightly with his fingers. I could feel myself get goosebumps at his touch, and fought off the shiver that threatened to go through me.
“Even in the dirtiest waters they still bloom some of the most beautiful, vibrant flowers,” I explained. “It’s just a reminder that even though I may sometimes feel like I’m in dirty water I can still bloom and grow. It’s on my spine so that I remember to keep my back straight and my head up.”
Niall’s fingers dropped from my back, but I still felt the ghost of them even after the loss of contact. He lifted my cardigan back up to its proper place for me, and he was looking at me with what I could only describe as a wistful look.
“I sometimes wish that I wasn’t scared of needles,” he said, his voice soft as we continued on walking. He'd finished his doughnut but took a sip of his coffee.
“I know a lot of Louis’ tattoos are stupid ones that he just got because they seemed cool, but he has quite a few that are really meaningful to him, and yours is so meaningful to you… I admire that you have these reminders of such important things etched to your skin to constantly remind you to be who you want to be. Your tattoo is beautiful, by the way.”
“Sometimes our will and our want overpower our fear,” I shrugged. “Maybe someday something will happen or come up that will make you feel so strongly about wanting a reminder that you’ll put your fear aside. But then again, tattoos aren't for everybody, even if they're not afraid of needles. And thank you.”
Niall was quiet for a while after I’d said that, just walking in silence next to me. It wasn’t awkward. I could tell he was thinking through what I’d said. He was contemplating something as we kept going. Eventually, we both finished our dessert and when Niall finished his coffee he threw out his cup. Niall turned us around, back toward the city, away from the lake and when he did so, he took my hand in his.
“We should probably talk about this, huh?” he asked, squeezing my hand gently.
“Probably.” I took a deep breath.
“I guess I’ll start by saying that I very much like you,” his voice was quiet but I definitely heard that, and I felt my cheeks warm. “I also know that this could get tricky if, well if, y’know…” he trailed off and then cleared his throat. “But, I would like to continue seeing you, like this, despite all of that.”
I took a deep breath and steadied myself against the swarm of emotions that was filling my mind. I was anchored by the feeling of Niall’s hand in mine. That feeling he gave me, that comfort, emanating from where we touched to every cell in my body. His presence beside me both scared and excited me. I wanted to keep him there, beside me.
At that moment, it was easy to keep thinking about all of the bad that could happen from this. We could permanently damage relationships with our best friends, we could isolate ourselves if things went awry. It was terrifying. I was reeling thinking of Louis and the rest of my friends.
If something happened and things between Niall and I went poorly, we’d have to struggle through what had once been our easiest and closest of relationships until our wounds healed or one of us decided to bow out gracefully so that the other could keep their friends. The second option was less than ideal given that one of us would have to lose everyone we cared about. Then we’d forever be bitter about the situation.
But I had to admit, that despite all of this, being with Niall felt easy, felt natural. Hearing his laugh and seeing his smile, watching his eyes as he thought through something before speaking, getting acquainted with the way he fidgeted when he was watching a scary show and the way he sang softly to himself now that he knew the words to Somewhere on Fullerton.
It was the way he made me feel, safe, that I didn’t want to give up, more than anything. More than the fear of us not being right for each other, more than the fear of failure.
It had been a minute since Niall finished talking and I could feel his anxiety starting to roll off of him as we walked. He wasn’t saying anything though, which I found myself appreciating. He wasn’t going to keep talking just to ease his anxiety, he was letting me think and weigh my options and choose my words. I felt myself smiling.
“Okay,” I nodded. “So we’re doing this.” He looked up at me, his eyes wide under the streetlights and neon lights. “Dating,” I clarified. “I like you too, Niall. I say we go for it.”
He let out a breath and visibly looked relieved, I saw the tension leave his shoulders as he practically shook under the weight of his exhale.
“Wait, really?” he asked, his voice breathless as he stopped in his place on the sidewalk, our joined hands forcing me to stop as well.
“Really.” I smiled at him as I pulled his hand a little bit to guide him out of the way of foot traffic.
“You are somethin’ else, Ruby.” He smiled as he stepped close to me.
“Good something else, or?” I repeated our interaction from earlier. He clearly remembered too, because he let out a small laugh and shook his head before meeting my brown eyes with his blue ones.
“Good.” He smiled. “Definitely good.”
“I’ll take that.”
“C’mon,” he said now, tugging my hand in his and pulling me back into the sidewalk flow. We continued walking toward the station.
“So are we telling our friends or no?” I asked.
“Oh Jesus,” he groaned. His head fell back as he looked up to the sky and I bit my cheek to keep from laughing because honestly, that was my reaction as well to the thought of telling them.
“Fuck.”
I laughed at the exclamation that came out of his mouth.
“We’re gonna have to at some point, aren’t we?” he asked.
“We are.”
“Louis will be relentless,” he groaned again.
“Louis won’t be the only one.” I shuddered, thinking about literally all of them. Plus my sister. Maybe my sister could wait it out a while before I told her. She’d never forgive me for waiting, but the thought of her response compounded with the simultaneous response of my friends was giving me an ulcer just thinking about it. Yeah, Mehar could wait to find out I was seeing someone.
“You’re right.” Niall shuddered. “We’ll never hear the end of this.”
“Never,” I agreed.
“And you’re still okay with us dating? Even knowin’ that?”
“I am.”
“What did I do to deserve this?” He asked as we came up to the station, where we would be parting ways. We paused underneath it, our faces with crisscrossing shadows from the platform above making it hard to tell features clearly, but we were very aware of each other at this moment.
“I don’t know what you did, but you sure do look cute in a jean jacket with your hair all mussed up,” I told him and reached my free hand up to run through said hair. It is just as soft as I’d thought it would be.
He blushed a vibrant shade of red and looked down at his feet, embarrassed.
“Why thank you,” he said, looking up. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
I shrugged. “I mean, I don’t even try,” I teased with false modesty.
He laughed, his head falling back and the sound echoing in the framework around us.
“Let me know when you get home safe?” he asked.
“You too.” I nodded at him. “And I’ll probably spill the beans to Louis tomorrow, so brace yourself.”
“I am thoroughly braced.” He nodded and tried to give me a smile, but he looked like he’d just gotten the news he would have to go in for a root canal.
Just like last time we’d finished a date, Niall kissed my cheek quickly and with one last squeeze of my hand, we parted each other’s company.
