22 & 31
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS: HARD MODE // accepting
What does your character like in other people?
he likes... playfulness. mischief. he likes those little snappy comebacks susannah comes up with all on her own. he likes setting jake up for a good joke and seeing the kid Deliver and Deliver Hard. he likes the little echo inside of roland that sometimes wakes up and makes him do absolutely batshit things. (shooting open a newspaper vending machine delights and terrifies him to no end).
he likes people who don’t take themselves too seriously. he likes people who read like weathered old maps and every tear and fold can be seen. he likes people who are unapologetic in who they are, who love deeply.
(he loves people who look at him like he’s someone worthy to love. that’s the main thing.)
Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.
i have a really good quote by danielewski that i wanna use for this.
“I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore except I know it feels roomy and it’s drenched in sunlight and it’s weightless and I know it’s not cheap. It’s probably not even real.”
he craves affection and love and often denies himself those things. he craves to be told that he’s good and jokes that he doesn’t matter to him. he wants emotional closeness, bonds, friends, but he’s terrified by it. he doesn’t want people to see him as he is, sometimes.
not to get too much into dysphoria but to absolutely do that: eddie feels absolutely alien in his own body. it both is and is not his own. he feels strongly about some parts, and distantly about others. like phantom limbs only the limbs are still there, they just can’t be his. because he isn’t supposed to be like this, exist in that way.
it’s not that comfort is “probably not even real”, it’s that eddie dean wants and tries not to want and makes himself sick with it.
