#outofsuits

[ironxhero]

Me and @starforcecommander

Starforcecommander: *Tries to make illogical half sentences to express confusion*

also starforcecommander: *accidently makes full sentences that actually make sense instead*

[ironxxhero]

I have to do a little venting as I have been thinking about this all day, analyzing and all included:

Why someone approaching me in the fashion “Hey, if you want to interact, message me” bothers me so much:

You actively put yourself in a passive position. That is sending two messages (or maybe more) that can be interpreted by the other person in different ways depending on their experiences in the fandom, their insecurities and something as simple as having a good day or not.

Message 1: “Hey I want to rp with you, but I don’t dare to outright ask you to”. That in itself isn’t a bad message to relay, but here is the thing: By messaging a person alone you are overcoming a HUGE obstacle in communication: You are starting the communication! You approach a stranger! That takes COURAGE! But you see yourself as not courageous enough to ask outright for an rp? Why? Because experience taught you people can be difficult to approach? People say no sometimes?  So what? YOU had the COURAGE to approach others! Trust me there are plenty of rpers out there who usually don’t bring up that courage! Own it! You had the courage, you tried, you rocked it. You approached someone!

Message 2: And this is where your courage to approach someone might get squashed in that passive approach: “Hey, I see you, but you are not important enough for me to ask you to rp, if you really want to, you have to work for it”. I probably don’t have to tell anybody why this message is not a message you want to send. For the more insecure rpers, who will read that message this way, it will turn them away. Insecure rpers who already have trouble approaching people might not put you on the list of people they want to approach, because whether you wanted to or not, you accidentally put yourself a step above the other.

So long story short, here’s a few little something you should keep in mind:

If you want to rp with someone and approach them be active about it! You had the courage to approach someone, you ROCK! 

Keep in mind that other rpers might be insecure. Be active about your approach to them, because it opens up a conversation much more positively!

If the other person doesn’t want to rp with you, chances are they would have declined you no matter if you were active or passive about your approach. And keep in mind: Not everyone has to like you or want to rp with you, we all write our own stories, we all are the heroes of our own stories, some people just aren’t meant to be in them and that is okay.

Your way to interpret your muse is unique! Nobody else has the same version of your muse as you do! You are allowed to be proud of that and you should be!

Active writing is in itself more open and positive than passive writing. Passive writing comes with a sense of distance.

[tonystark-iamironman]

And I am going to do some threads that contain Endgame spoilers they will be tagged as Endgame spoilers, endgame, and spoilers 

[looksgoodinsuits]

Hello

I'm sorry, my blog has been on hiatus for so long. Just wanted you all to know I miss you loads and I hope someday I can write Ianto once again in the future.

[ironxhero]

» I would love for Tony to meet someone and fall in love...

[ironxhero]

I will be gone until saturday! I am off to see a concert and stay with a friend and relax from the stressful last weeks!

SEE YOU SATURDAY!!!

[ironxhero]

On banned faceclaims and why people should NOT judge people for it!!!

It is super important to read rules. I can not stress that enough. People who have sensitive issues in their past that will make them uncomfortable, will have those triggers and stuff in there. Listen to that!

Some, like me, have banned faceclaims in their rules. There is a simple reason for it: These faceclaims are associated to something that make them uncomfortable. 

I will use two examples of myself on why this is so important under the cut:

One: Katie McGrath and Lana Parilla - this one is based on the internet and shipwars. Back then me and my friends, among them @kreeborn were called exremly nasty names. Both McGrath and Parilla actively encouraged and baited that part of the fandom, giving them more power and more of a voice within the fandom. These actors added fuel to a very, very nasty fire. I associate bad shipwars with them and thus I do not want to rp with characters using their faceclaims.

Two: Ian Somerhalder

This one is personal. Now, not many of you know that I am friends with the organizer of a series of cons and with the crew of said con. I have the chance to work at the cons, but I’m usually attending as a fan. I met Ian Somerhalder THREE times during these cons. 

The first time I had the displeasure to meet him when I was working at one of the cons, because I wasn’t interested in the con itself, but just wanted to meet my friends. I was security at the backstage door. Now at the cons at that time Ian had the reputation of either very sweet or very closed off. And he was sweet, sickly sweet to his fans...not so much to staff. As he passed me, he gave me a very disgusted look and later during the party, he called me fat. Fun fact: At that time I was dancing, had dreams of becoming a dancer and I was at my fittest shape ever. I heard, later on, thanks to him talking about others and with others, that he had other choice words to say, not only about me.

The second time I met him, he was already married and his daughter was currently on the way to hatching. Ian Somerhalder had at that point adopted the ability to turn every question around into him talking about how he is the one saving the world or saving this and that. It was very noticeable. I was a guest at that con. 

Now what is special about that con is: There is a so called Geeks party. Every actor attending had it in their contract that they would have to do three things: Attend the geeks party, appear at the opening and closing ceremony unless you really have something important, appear at two photoshoots. Ian did none of them, thus violating the contract. He did try to kick another actor out of the green room. More than once. He provoked him to the point of there almost being physical violence! He made it clear he considered himself a bigger star than said other. He did make anyone who wasn’t his fan feel that, too.

Third time it was the same way: He made everyone feel like he was better than them. This time on top of provoking the other actor - an actor I adore and love and whom I can always talk to (even outside of cons) - he provoked certain other people whom he should not have provoked. 

Over all Ian Somerhalder is someone I do not wish to see, or support or pretend I am okay with seeing them around.

This is my story, and others have their own. Respect them, because unlike me here, some might not be willing to share their stories. 

Rules are being set up to protect the people behind the words of an rp blog. Be kind, not liking a faceclaim usually has nothing to do with the person behind that blog! If someone tells you kindly, that you use a faceclaim they banned: It’s not against you. Be kind about it. You’d like to have people understand if you were in the same position.

[ironxhero]

» I really want Tony to meet MJ post Far from home