Sometimes, the thing you reject the most will eventually find its way to input itself in your life. It's seems that that's what is going to happen in the following months for me. I do remember I crossed paths in different ways with the thing I have rejected, but I foolishly thought it was mere chance, pure coincidence, perhaps commonality. I thought I was merely an observer who could absolve myself of the thing in these scenarios. But now that I've made this terrifying decision, it seems it was a foreshadowing, a calling maybe. I came in contact with this thing in passing. Now that I look back in my previous experiences, it seems like it was a gentle push towards it. I won't lie to you. I'm nervous, but I also feel calm and extremely unsure. Am I making the right decision? Even if it's shown up continuously in my life? I can't tell you I know or that I will know later on when I eventually take the first step towards this thing. Somehow, it feels like stepping in a clear and calm lake that's really cold and you don't know what's it in but the view is crisps the air is a bit foggy and sprinkled with bits of water and the air is cool. I hope to go to a lake one day and take an early swim
