truly one of the universes sick jokes is that when i have a growing spiderweb of task mountains spanning out in every direction before me that i have to tackle and all i need to do is just pick literally any single one and start making some small measured meaningful amount of progress forward to chip away at it but find myself paralyzed and unable to move so i dissasociate into the void and end up doing nothing, the worst option of all
it means that actually, i am too overwhelmed and the best course of action is, surprise surprise, to do nothing but differently! its to stop trying to get myself to do any of them and purposefully walk completely away putting aside any guilt and framing "nothing" as an active action instead of a passive action and therefore actually truly rest because i am too overwhelmed to process anything and much like getting hard stuck on a level in a video game, i will make much better progress at this after coming back from having a little snack and a true rest like what do u MEAN in order to move forward sometimes i have to stop moving??? why does that work fuck you