#overshare o clock

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

oh am? i'm the one that's not blinking enough.

what is that called

kubrick... stare? horror movie thing?

aw man...

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

worried i have a soft spot.

wearing a headlamp made me nauseous. unless i wore it off center.

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

i feel the need to apologize for acting crazy but i don't know how to do so in a way that comes back around to neutral.

how do you say that without it also sounding wild?

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

i've just realized that my fingernails play a huge part of my handwriting and drawing. when my nails are long enough to clack on the screen while i type. i'm holding a pen and i am putting pressure onto it with my nails, not my fingertip. is my handwriting worse with short nails? i think it is??

when i was younger i kept my nails to what i called "claw length." for various reasons, the last several years i've kept them trimmed.

this is so dumb. i learned to write with nails as my default. it's like i'm removing my fingertip every time i trim.

this is goofy.

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

the way my brain processes caffeine can be inconvenient <-<-<-<-<- a man that currently requires at least a sip of dr pepper to sleep.

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

i need to print social cards that say "i'm not mad at you" for when i furrow my brow in confusion. "i'm sorry about my face—i am not mad at you."

or "i'm not mad at you—i'm trying to focus." bc when i do manage to focus all thought beams onto one point, it can be a bit much. it takes effort to pay full attention. to anything.

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

[tw disordered eating and weight loss]

couple days ago i sat out in the sun for a few hours. it was wonderful. just sat outside playing a boardgame with my love.

abruptly, the following day (yesterday), my appetite came back. seemingly out of nowhere.

i housed an entire 16in (40.6cm) sub sandwich. it had two kinds of meat and i added extra veggies. i also had a pile of watermelon chunks and possibly something else.... i forgor.

that's more than i've been able to eat in one single day for months. over a year, at this point. eating has been HARD since the wreck, between medication and world-tilting migraines.

BUT I ATE SO MUCH* YESTERDAY!

*still not enough

[loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob]

my uncle's last words to me were said at grandma's funeral. he said, "You'll always be [Deadname]." a few times. my deadname was my late grandma's middle name, so i knew where the sentiment was rooted. he was grieving and in bad shape.

he died a month later. i didn't go to his funeral.