Omg yes you and owen can never get enough of each other, the boys are constantly complaining and chirping y'all for always being so touchy and making out
no yeah like they'd kinda like roll their eyes or be like "here we go again" everytime they walk into a room where you guys are. I feel like they'd always catch you making out and they're just like "we're over this"
Yeah, I didnt thought I will want more Owen screentime. But I really miss his interactions with TK from s1. It's like the writers forgot they are father and son (but if we get interactions from s2 I prefer there wont be any at all). Owen have way more screentime with Mateo than his own son (dont get me wrong, I love Mateo, but he could have more scenes with firefam). And I cant get over the fact they cut the only one Owen scene with TK in the hospital. And if they have Lisa already on the plan, they could write a scene when she came to the hospital (TK's subconsciousnes wished she came as soon as she heard about his accident...)
I completely agree with everything you've said here, Anon. I absolutely love all the Owen and Mateo scenes (their dynamic is really fun to watch) but I truly believe Owen is at his best when he is either with the team or TK. In those times I actually really like him. In my view more Firefam Owen scenes are a win-win: Fox gets its Rob Lowe screentime, we get out fun Firefam content, and the other actors get their screentime too. There is literally no losing. I will say though as much as I love Lisa/Gwyn (which is a whole lot), I did at least understand why there was no Gwyn scene in the episode. Things were super stretched timewise and storywise it made sense - I don't imagine it was particularly easy for anyone to get to Austin, given everything.
As for the rest, thank you! I definitely write those fics because I enjoy it, but it is nice to hear that other people appreciate them. It really means a lot and getting this ask really did make my day 💙
Like if they're going to have Carlos be a cop, they might as well have him do that role (things will be different when Carlos goes down the detective route perhaps). Owen just comes off as unhinged, and he's honestly a public health and safety risk skfljdlfkj
The Man in a Clown Suit: Paternal Abandonment and the Avoidance of Intimate Relationships in 9-1-1 Lone Star
S03E15 of 9-1-1 Lone Star begins a targeted exploration of Owen’s past and the ramifications of his father’s abandonment. This storyline reflects the behavioral patterns that run through the Strand generations and a cycle of hurt and insecurity shown through chronic expressions of anger. These expressions of anger are often obscured by lighthearted wit and charisma, allowing for a semblance of normalcy and a suppression of the root feelings of the anger. Anger makes it impossible to create intimate relationships because anger is a composite of other repressed emotions, which protect vulnerable parts of the self with spikey barbs. Fear glues the pieces of anger together. As a result, these angry Strand men who follow fear-driven relationship patterns hurt themselves through self-sabotage; ultimately, they become nothing more than men in clown suits, hiding their true selves—and the darkness of their pasts—behind vacuous jokes and costumes that make them unrecognizable and unknowable.
PART 1: THE MAN IN THE CLOWN SUIT
The man in the clown suit wants meaningful connections with people, and one of the most significant relationships he can have is that with his son, who is a reflection of him; this man himself is a son and is shaped by both positive and negative experiences with his father. Accordingly, in 9-1-1 Lone Star, Owen is a man in a clown suit. He has shown that he is a loving father and that he wants to be a good father, but despite his intentions, Owen often fumbles when asked to confront his own flaws as a father or connect shared behavioral patterns in his family line; likewise, Ted (Zippy the Clown) masquerades as a clown because he loves his son, Darren, and he wants to be closer to him. Both men value having a close relationship with their sons, but they struggle to be present for their sons in meaningful ways.
Much of Owen’s inability to be present is because of the past. Even before 9/11, his past, such as his relationship with his father, makes it harder for him to cope, but 9/11 likely exacerbated issues Owen already had. Owen keeps a piece of debris from the Twin Towers, a reminder of one of the worst days of his life. This item represents trauma and its isolating nature. He lost his entire crew that day, and all that’s left to keep him company is his survivor’s guilt. He carries this trauma wherever he goes, and he literally keeps the debris on a tiny pedestal on his desk, where most people would put a family photo. Owen uses 9/11 as an excuse to create distance between himself and the rest of the world. While the rest of the team finds connection and community with each other in moments of pain, Owen shoves himself into his office and stares at a reminder of his trauma. This representation highlights the obtrusive role of trauma. With each new office that Owen gets in the series, the debris follows. He looks at his trauma every day, but he never faces it, causing him to become stuck in the past.
Rather than confronting his pain and trauma, Owen tries to patch it up using humor, heroism, and a witty façade. Sometimes, he’ll talk about his issues with the crew, but in these instances, he uses humor and downplays the intensity of his feelings. He rarely addresses these feelings, and like the piece of debris, these feelings sit on his desk and weigh on his mind.
In S0202, Gwyn says, “Owen, you know what happens when you keep things bottled up,” and Owen jokes, “Well, if it’s like wine, it gets better,” and then he insists, “Nothing’s bottled up.” A classic Owen “make a joke and deny the issue” approach. Then, in season 3, after punching Billy at the end of season 2, Owen’s mental state escalates as his anger issues spiral out of control, and he continues to punch people, unable to control his anger. His anger creates shallow interactions, fight or flight. He doesn’t stop to process situations before reacting.
Clowns are known for their physical comedy, which dovetails with the idea that Owen uses outside appearances to control his relationships and reduce the chance of rejection. No one has to see what’s inside if he carefully crafts his exterior. His clown suit might mean that no one really knows him, but it also protects him from the risk of intimacy.
In another instance, in S02E07, as Gwyn unpacks her many belongings from New York, Owen comes into the room joking, “If I hit the lost Ark of the Covenant, have I gone too far?” but it’s evident he’s overwhelmed by all the stuff because he likes to keep things in a particular way. Gwyn sees through Owen’s exterior image, and she tells Owen that he’s making her feel defensive with his ”face and tone,” and Owen insists that he doesn’t have a “face” or “tone.” He tries to keep his feelings covert, but these attempts don’t make his feelings disappear. His tone becomes tenser, and the audience can see him struggling not to let his anger (fear) get the best of him because he doesn’t want to ruin things with Gwyn. He wants to be better, but he only resists this urge of self-sabotage and anger for so long. Eventually, communication starts to deteriorate between him and Gwyn, partially because of outside forces like Gwyn’s pregnancy, but also because many of the patterns that destroyed their marriage still exist because Owen hasn’t addressed his fear, shame, and anger.
This refusal to admit his true feelings is chronic and follows him to therapy. In SO3E15, Owen tries to deny his issues with his therapist. His therapist tries to get Owen to determine the root of his negative reactions to clown, and Owen comes back to the therapist insisting that nothing is wrong. He says that he has watched a clown movie, raving about it, and uses that as proof he’s okay despite the crew and his therapist all showing concern. He speaks lightheartedly, giving little away about his true self. Then, he goes on the call with Zippy the Clown, and he can’t even get close to the clown, so he stays behind. He continues his routine and insists to Tommy that he’s fine.
The show itself treats Owen’s problems as a running gag, fitting with the overall sentiment that Owen gets through life by hiding his pain under jokes. Even Gwyn’s bird, Ginsburg, calls Owen out in S03E09 by repeating phrases that represent his failed marriage— “sleep on the couch,” “bitch and moan,” and “butthead”— but these words also signify Owen’s feelings about himself. Ginsburg only repeats what she has heard, and she attaches no moral valuation to her words. Owen’s feelings when he hears these words stem primarily from his judgment of himself.
In the end, Owen has one of his most sincere moments with Ginsburg. He apologizes to Ginsburg for the past because it’s too late to apologize to Gwyn. He says he tried to bury what happened “because I was ashamed. I was mortified by my behavior.” He then processes many of his feelings related to Gwyn’s death. Ginsburg answers, “There’s a blanket. I don’t want you to get cold,” about when Owen slept on the couch. The last words Ginsburg ever says are, “Love you, honey.” These words are not only heartwarming, but they show how the people around Owen have tried to reach out to him, create connection, and warm his cold detachment, but Owen was unable to fully embrace that connection, sabotaging his chance of repairing damaged relationships. The closest he gets to intimacy is with a bird.
There are moments Owen proves to be insightful. As with Ginsburg, Owen is vulnerable sometimes, but in these moments, it’s not usually with those he most needs to be vulnerable. For instance, before Billy betrays the 126, Owen connects with him. Their relationship is rough and complicated, but they do have meaningful conversations. Owen sees himself in Billy. It’s often easier for Owen to share with people he doesn’t know as well. Owen also exhibits some awareness that his behaviors cause chaos and pain, but he also doesn’t want to fully admit the extent of his issues. As soon as any moment of introspection is over, he realizes what he’s done— sharing personal parts of himself— and puts back on his clown suit rather than letting the truth—the core parts of him—linger in the air.
Because of his inability to be intimate, Owen is frequently self-centered, but he does have a genuine desire to listen to and help the people he loves, and in countless episodes, he goes to heroic extremes for strangers. For much of season two, Owen’s relationships are one-sided. He goes to the crew to vent his problems, particularly Judd and Tommy, but he does little to return the favor. He encourages therapy for his crew and provides them encouragement, but he still keeps a distance from everyone. Many of his season 1 and season 2 storylines are isolated from the other characters. He connects more in Season 3, but his anger issues become more prominent, and as much as he tries to be an idealized version of himself, his issues hold him back.
Owen knows what paternal relationships should look like, and in several instances, he gives fatherly advice. Owen lends an ear to Carlos in S02E08 and offers fatherly encouragement, and Judd goes to Owen in S03E06 to talk about his son, Wyatt, and Owen helps Judd process having a teenage son. The latter example highlights Owen’s tendencies well. In this episode, Judd is looking for a fatherly connection with his son, who is opposite Judd in many ways. Judd worries that he won’t be able to connect with Wyatt. On the surface, Wyatt seems more like Owen. As Wyatt, Judd, and Owen go on an alien hunt, Wyatt does get along with Owen to the point that Judd feels more disconnected from his son than ever, creating a sense of alienation, which all three adventurers experience in some form. Yet, at the end of the episode, to Wyatt, Owen is just “your hilarious captain,” and the one Judd really wants to have a relationship with is Judd, who gave Wyatt the “best weekend of his life.” Wyatt values spending quality time with Judd more than he cares that he and Judd aren’t exactly alike. Wyatt and Judd then make plans to visit Uncle Cash, suggesting the blossoming of meaningful connection and the power of family ties.
Owen’s meaningful moments are few and far between, and his quips and signature hair can’t create intimacy. With both Catherine and Gwyn, Owen is emotionally stunted. The women admire his intelligence, looks, and humor, but those qualities can’t maintain a relationship alone. In both of these relationships, Owen self-sabotages by rejecting their attempts to get him to open up. Whenever Catherine seriously addresses Owen’s anger issues, Owen responds by making jokes about how his anger management therapy didn’t help or insists he’s fine. He offers humor when he should offer honesty.
Owen’s story as a man in a clown suit is reflected by S03E15’s Ted. Both Owen and Ted are absent during pivotal moments in their sons’ lives. Owen misses TK’s first post-9/11 birthday party, and as he fights with Gwyn as TK plays on the floor with a firetruck, it’s clear that this absence is a pattern. While Ted does attend Darren’s birthday as Zippy the Clown, until he reveals himself when the paramedics come, his true identity is unknown to his son for the bulk of the party, and Ted had no intention to reveal himself. In many ways, Ted is still absent from the birthday party. By showing up in a clown suit, he can’t be a true form of himself.
Even if they are physically in their children’s lives, can fathers ever genuinely be there if they do not show their true selves and allow vulnerability? Owen didn’t leave TK in the way that Owen’s father left him, but TK still expresses feelings of abandonment. Owen was trapped in his trauma, just as Ted the Clown was trapped in an ingenuine predicament before the paramedics forced him to identify himself. Both Owen and Ted harm themselves with their inability to act genuinely. Ted ends up physically hurt when he falls through his son’s play structure, but both men risk their personal relationships. Throughout the series, Owen sabotages his relationships and spends a significant amount of time alone and miserable.
Not only does a man in a clown suit impact his own development, but he impacts the development of his son. Both TK and Ted idealize their dads and want closeness with them, but with their fathers’ respective absences, admiration turns to hero worship. Hero worship of the father creates a tenuous relationship because hero-worship is centered around the image the “hero” creates of himself rather than a connection with the hero’s genuine self. Essentially, hero worship focuses on the fanfare of the man and not his humanity.
In a flashback during the season one finale, TK playing on the floor with his fire truck Lego set shows his hero worship of his dad. In the distance, Gwyn and Owen fight, and Owen is the source of the pain that has caused the fight, but TK still wants to be like his father, and he imagines himself becoming a firefighter. Pictures of TK as a kid show him dressing up as a firefighter, and as he grows older, becoming a firefighter becomes a way to be close to Owen because he feels that Owen has always prioritized his firehouse family. The audience can infer that TK chose to be a firefighter for a closer, genuine relationship with his dad without considering if the career was what he actually wanted. Forcing this kind of closeness doesn’t work, but when someone wants desperately to have that closeness, they’ll keep making attempts, even if those attempts do more harm than good.
Ted and Darren’s relationship shows the same warning signs. The reason Ted fell through the play structure was that he never put sealant on it like he said he would. Juliana says, “Classic Ted, all promises,” knowing that he’s unreliable, and even Ted admits that he’s screwed up so many times. He offers his son half-hearted attempts, such as building a grand play structure but failing to put sealant on it. Likewise, Ted’s relationship with his son doesn’t have any sealant, and it’s only a matter of time before there’s a collapse, and the glue of hero-worship can’t hold them together. Ted impresses his son with grand gestures, but he also fails him, and as Darren starts to grow and sees his father’s flaws, their relationship may change. Unable to see his dad’s flaws, Darren admires his dad, and Juliana expresses that all Darren wanted for his birthday was for his dad to be there. Ted’s continued behavior will determine the path his relationship with Darren takes, but they are at a critical juncture.
A brief moment in S03E15 establishes a minute but fascinating connection between Darren and TK, showing how their paths can converge or diverge. Darren asks TK if he can go with his dad to the hospital, and TK says, “It’s not up to me, little buddy,” directing Darren to ask his mother, who eventually agrees. The words also speak further to the relationship between Darren and Ted because Ted has the option to take his clown suit off and create new patterns with his son. He can choose to meaningfully show up for his son, or he can continue to not be fully present for his son, effectively emotionally abandoning his son. When TK was a kid, Owen chose to be distant by throwing himself into work and focusing on his firehouse family, but it’s not too late to change the dynamics of their relationships.
These dynamics can go back even further in Owen’s relationship with his dad. Owen’s fear of clowns reflects his insecurities because the heart of his anger is fear and shame. Owen admits that his dad’s abandonment made him feel shame, terror, and rage. In his dream S03E15, Owen’s therapist becomes a clown, but not just that; he becomes Owen’s father, the only person to call him “sonny boy.” Owen’s father is also a man in a clown suit—literally in Owen’s dream— and this revelation creates a clearer picture of why Owen struggles to have intimate relationships.
Owen compares his dream to the movie Inception, alluding to the idea of dreams within dreams, or false awakenings. His unconscious issues are waking up and melding with his conscious world. He acknowledges he has issues, but he refuses to give weight to his deepest feelings because of their association with pain, fear, and shame. Yet, he can’t escape his issues, no matter how much he wants to, because he’s unwilling to take off his clown suit. The dream of the clown also establishes the idea that Owen has internalized external problems. He has buried his fears beneath a pile of anger, but at the core, the clown in his dreams is just a man in a clown suit— good old dad.
When the crew goes on the call with Ted in the subsequent scene, Owen keeps a physical (and emotional) distance from Ted, just as he keeps his space between himself and his issues. He sees a man in a clown suit, and this image reflects the pain Owen’s dad inflicted on Owen’s family and the pain Owen inflicted on his own family. Owen’s physical panic makes it impossible for him to do his job, so he stands back, terror in his eyes, watching the rest of the crew work. Tommy tells TK, “Your dad just wants to observe from back there. You know, observe the whole picture.” If that doesn’t paint a poignant picture of the dilemma of a man in a clown suit, nothing does. As long as Owen wears his clown suit, he’ll always be distant from his life and what gives him joy. He’ll be observing but not participating. He’ll never be able to have a genuine life and intimate relationships.
The clown suit is self-protective armor, but it is destructive to both the wearer and those around him. Humor and a carefully crafted persona can only get a person so far. To heal, Owen must face his father and realize that behind the costume and face paint, there is no clown. There is just a man. He must also learn to face himself and learn that he, too, is just a man, and as Owen starts to unravel his problems, he’ll also have to unravel his own clown suit and reckon with the damage he has done— the moments he’s joked away and can never get back.
TK asking if Owen was with Gwen when she got him from the crack den just says how much he longs for his dad’s approval and to do right by him and stuff, which makes owen being a bad parent (the majority of the time) even more heartbreaking
Yeah for sure. And I think that’s an interesting thing to think about work Gwyn too because I think she’s the one who’s had to deal with TK’s rage and that darker side of him because TK feels like he has to be in his best behavior basically to please Owen. And I think his relationship with Gwyn felt more secure and unconditional, while history taught TK that Owen’s love was not unconditional. And his main parameter for his ability to function was his job, which is also linked to wanting Owen’s approval that I think it says a lot about those dynamics.
Owen power takes you to get coffee and you guys make out before
maybe it's in between classes so you guys are like making out on the couch and you're lie running his hands through his hair and he has his hands on your lips. And like both of you pull away and he's like "let's get coffee?" And you're like "sure why not" impromptu make out seshs are a reoccurring thing.
