owlchicken replied to your post: FUCK, I'M SUDDENLY SO GODDAMN ANGRY.
Sorry, I totally get, that you are angry at your brother for going behind your parent’s back and everything, but 20… can’t he do, what he likes with 20?
Of course he can, geez, he's a goddamn adult now, but Filipino families are more tight-knit, and besides, we all still live under the same roof. We all still live with our parents. If he wants to go off on his own to another damn country without telling his parents and his older sisters, he should do that when he's out of the house and living on his own and supporting himself without our parents' help, which none of us are doing yet at this point. Besides, he asked for permission AGES ago, and they said NO, and this is the part that's angering me so much. He doesn't get WHY they said no, all he sees is that they're keeping him from having fun or winning big money or whatever at the fucking video game tournament. He goes out every weekend to some far flung mall to participate in stuff, but geezas gawd, this is another damn country, and if it didn't have so many tight laws to break, I probably wouldn't be as worried either. It's not even the going off to do something that's pissing me off, it's that he went behind EVERYBODY'S BACK, it's the sheer audacity of the disobedience that's throwing me for a loop right now.
I have a Gormitage prompt for you :) Dean is unhappy in love with Aidan. Richard is unhappy in love with Martin, who's married. Both of them being unhappy in love find eachothers company, have meaningless sex, a lot of it, and somehow, without realizing, don't just have sex, but do all kinds of stuff together and fall in love and everything :) And please make them even, and not Dean "the younger, childish one" since they are both equal adults, I would really like that :)
A/N: GAWD I HAVE MISSED WRITING GORMITAGE. I don’t know if you’ll be able to tell with this one, teehee. I could have gone slightly smutty with this, but I’m reserving my smut ideas for my WIP, “Ut Vere Liberi Eritis,” coz an update on that is WAYYYYYYYYY overdue, but I’m not done yet with it, D:. Still, I hope you enjoy this.
( Read On AO3 )
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
There’s this story…Well, it’s not really so much of a story. Could a myth really be called a story?
There’s this myth about a guy named Icarus, who wore fake wings to be able to escape the Labyrinth. He was told not to fly too close to the sun, or else the heat would melt the wax that held everything together, and he would fall.
Icarus didn’t listen. Icarus got cocky. Icarus got too close to the sun, and his wings were destroyed. He fell. He fell hard and fast. He didn’t survive.
There’s also this other story…Well, it’s not really so much of a story either. Could someone’s relationship woes really be called a story?
There’s this story about a guy named Dean, who was warned not to get too close to Aidan. He’s a great guy, they said, all rainbow smiles and cupcake laughs, and he’s even nicer once you get to really know him, but really don’t get too close, bit of a heartbreaker that one. Too free with his affections, you never know when it stops being real, someone told Dean. So Dean promised them he wouldn’t get invested, that he’d be careful, that he wouldn’t let Aidan get to him.
Dean didn’t listen. Dean got cocky. Dean got too close to Aidan, and his wings got destroyed too. He fell. He fell hard and fast. It was heavenly for a while. But then Dean looked down once, just once, and those few seconds cost him big time. He fell again, but in a very different, and a lot more painful way. He doesn’t stop falling, and every mile down just hurts more and more, because when he looks up, he just sees Aidan drifting farther and farther.
When he finally lands, it’s in a fuckload of alcohol and smoke.
“Sorry, Dean, not tonight, I’ve got…stuff.”
“Sorry, Dean, not today, I’ve got…things.”
“Sorry, Dean, not next week, I’ve got…stuff and things.”
Dean doesn’t remember the last time he picked up a cigarette and lit it, but he’s started doing it again, despite Jed warning him it’s going to be harder to quit a second time, but fuck it, at least the cigarette isn’t going to take a raincheck on him because it’s got stuff and things.
He’s doing it again now, and it’s a Sunday afternoon, and he’s having his fifth vodka-and-tonic, so the rest of the world can go ahead and fuck off, please, because Aidan certainly has. And honestly, Dean would have put up much more of a fight, except Aidan does this thing where he exists,and how is Dean expected to defend himself against that, really.
“This seat taken?”
Dear World: This is NOT how you fuck off. Sincerely, Not Drunk Enough For Your Shit O’Gorman.
He looks up at Richard, who’s giving him a tiny smile. With a small shrug, Dean motions to the seat beside him, indicating that Richard is free to take it, which he does. Richard gets himself a beer, and Richard hardly ever drinks beer.
“You too, huh?”
Richard sighs, beer held between delicately long fingers as he puts it up to his lips and takes a short sip.
“Mum always did say not to touch something that isn’t mine.”
Dean snorts, downing his drink and then taking a puff from his cig.
“At least you knew what you were getting into with Martin. I don’t even know where I stand with Aidan anymore.”
“We did warn you, Dean.”
“I know you did.”
“You didn’t listen. We told you.”
“I know you did.”
Richard pins a coin onto its edges on the table and spins it a bit.
“Did you sleep with him?”
“Aidan?”
“No, Richard, Santa Claus. Yes, fucking Aidan.”
“Of course not. He never looks my way.”
“D’you know who it is then?”
“Haven’t the foggiest.”
“Liar.”
“…It might be Adam, but I’m not sure.”
“Fuck.”
Dean takes a longer drag from his cigarette this time. Richard swigs from his beer again.
“Martin’s wife is coming down.”
“Christ, Rich.”
“Tell me about it.”
Another drink. Another puff.
“My place then?”
“Dean…”
“It’s not a pity fuck, Jesus. I don’t pity you, and I don’t really need your pity. We need something other than that.”
“Like what?”
“A friend, maybe.”
“With benefits?”
“That’s cheesy, Richard. But yeah. With benefits.”
Richard swivels in his chair and fixes Dean with a firm glance.
“Tell me something first. And be completely, brutally honest. If it was anybody else here, if it was anybody butme here right now, would you be asking for the same thing?”
Dean’s eyes narrow just slightly as he looks Richard over, amused.
“I’m surprised it matters to you.”
“Answer the question.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“…No. Probably not.”
Richard finishes the rest of his beer, and snaps the cigarette right out from between Dean’s fingers, only to finish that off himself as well. Dean chuckles, rubbing at his eyebrow with a finger. Richard puts down more than enough money to cover what he and Dean owe, and then Dean is following him out the door.
They’re barely past the threshold to Dean’s place before he’s shoving Richard up against a wall, crushing his lips to his. They tug clumsily at clothes, and when Dean’s hand closes tight around Richard’s cock, Richard lets out a delicious hiss. Dean leans in close, stroking slow and hard.
“Fuck my brains out, Rich.”
And that’s how it starts.
—- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —-
“Are you busy?”
“Aw, Richard, a phone call! How quaint.”
“Shut up, little man. Are you busy?”
Dean looks over into the living room, where Aidan is busy winning Graham over by letting him win at FIFA 2012.
“I wish. What’s up?”
“You sound like you need a walk.”
“I also need to be fed every few hours, and bathed every few days. I haven’t had my shots yet, by the way, but your mum and dad say that’s your responsibility, not theirs.”
“You’re adorable when you’re pissed off.”
“Honey, you should see me with a frown. Anything in particular I can help you with?”
“Yeah, you can help me figure out the best place to take you to for coffee.”
Dean looks into the living room again. Aidan’s giving Graham one of those lingering grins he does, the one that looks like he’s way more interested in the person he’s aiming at than his words are letting on.
“Richard Armitage, are you asking me out?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether you want to go out or not.”
Dean actually kind of giggles at that. Smooth little fucker, this Richard.
“Sure. Why the hell not? Not like he’s gonna miss me or anything.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“Tell that to the hand he’s got on Graham’s knee.”
“…Ah.”
“Yeah. It turns out it was Graham all this time. Who knew?”
“That settles it then.”
“What settles what then?”
“Meet me outside your place in 10. I’m taking you for coffee.”
“Just coffee?”
“Disappointed?”
“You fucking wish.”
Richard laughs, and Dean can’t help but smile.
“See you in 10 then, Deano.”
“Sure.”
Dean hangs up, staring at the phone in his hand for what feels like an eternity. In the living room, Aidan’s got Graham wrapped around his finger. Dean rushes to his room for a jacket and a decent pair of denims.
“I’m going out, Aidan.”
“Yeah? Where’re you off to?”
“Coffee with…a friend.”
“Oh, okay. Hey, while you’re out, d’you think you could pick me up some shampoo?”
“Uh…”
“Thanks, you’re a doll. See you later, sexy! Have fun!”
Fucking slag.
—- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —-
Dean looks back just slightly as he takes a few more steps backwards. He’s never really found himself wishing he had measuring tape or a meter stick, but now would be a good time for one.
“It’s too far, Deano!”
“No, it’s not, I swear. Just don’t throw it too hard.”
“Either way, you’re not gonna catch it.”
“Wanna bet?”
“You’re not going to catch it!”
Dean can hardly help the smug smirk spreading across his face. He pulls his wallet out and puts out a fiver. Richard just laughs disbelievingly.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Well, you’re so adamant that I’m not gonna catch it, and I’m damn sure I will. Come on, Armitage, you know you want to.”
Richard gives him a once-over. Dean tries not to think about the way that just made him shiver quite nicely. Dean takes out his wallet and puts down double.
“…Fine. But let’s up the ante a bit. Loser buys the winner dinner.”
“Like…on a date?”
“Are you backing out now, O’Gorman?”
“Fuck no.”
Dean takes out another five and puts it down as well.
“Ready when you are, Captain.”
Smirking, Richard digs into the packet and takes out three pieces of Maltesers. He gives Dean a couple of seconds to ready himself. He throws the first one across to him, and Dean leans just a little to the left to catch it effortlessly in his mouth. He puts up a hand to tell Richard that he’s still eating it, but Richard is laughing incredulously. Once the first Malteser is gone, Dean lets Richard know, and Richard sets up again. Dean catches the second one just as easily, so Richard launches the last one too. Dean just barely gets it in his mouth, but he manages, and they’re both laughing as Dean tries to finish both pieces off.
“Well, what do you know?”
“I know you lost on purpose.”
“I did not!”
“You totally fucking did, Richard. You were totally holding back. You know if you wanted to, you could have thrown it right out of my range, but you didn’t. You pretty much fucking fed them to me.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
It almost looks like Richard’s trying so damn hard not to smile and is failing spectacularly.
“Can you blame me for wanting to spend more time with you?”
“Could be literally anybody else though, Rich.”
“Yeah, maybe. But…I don’t know, I don’t think I’d be enjoying myself if it was anybody else but you.”
Dean may or may not be blushing.
“So, about that date…”
—- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —-
“What’s wrong with us, Deano?”
Dean has to tear himself away from the movie they’ve put on. The question was so random, so out of nowhere, that he just knows he has to answer it.
“What was that?”
“What’s wrong with us?”
Richard isn’t looking at Dean, but his brows are furrowed. He looks like the movie has done him some great personal harm or something. Dean thinks about his answer, popping a few more pieces of popcorn into his mouth until he can come up with something.
“Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you and me, Rich.”
“You mean aside from the fact that you’re still with Aidan and I keep going back to Martin?”
“You think that’s wrong?”
“When was the last time you had sex with Aidan?”
“A couple of nights ago, I think.”
“…Oh.”
“…Oh, Richard.”
Richard waves him off, helping himself to some popcorn.
Richard sighs heavily, head dropping back against the backrest of the couch.
“No. I’m really not. He keeps pulling me up high, only to drop me when I least expect it. It’s frustrating. I mean…I know he’s not going to leave his wife, so what the hell am I for? I feel so fucking…used. And I’m tired of it. I’m sick and fucking tired of feeling like I’m only good when I’m needed. I don’t even know what he needs me for anymore.”
“So leave him. Fuck it, he doesn’t deserve you if he doesn’t know how to want you.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“You’re just hurting yourself, Rich. You stay any longer, you’re the one who ends up looking stupid, not him. You’ve got to let go. He was never yours to keep anyway.”
“This is supposed to make me feel better?”
“I was never good at cheering people up. I am good at trying to make people see logic though.”
“And you? What’s left for you?”
Dean draws his blankets up closer around him, turning back to the movie.
“Don’t worry about me.”
“But I do, though. Constantly. I see the way you look at Aidan when you think nobody can see you. You long for him as if you weren’t already with him. When you are with him, you’re so desperate to hold on to him that you lose your grip on everything else. You get tunnel vision when you’re with him. It’s like no one else exists, you know, the way you cling to him.”
“I’m hanging on to him by a fucking thread, Richard, but at least I’ve still got something to hang on to.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh God, Richard, don’t fucking do this.”
“No, it’s a serious question. Ask yourself, Dean: what was that supposed to mean, and what do you think it actually means?”
It’s Dean’s turn to sigh, and sigh he does. He knows Richard is right, just as he’s right about Richard. He turns to say as much, but is cut off before he can even begin to say anything when Richard kisses him. Caught off-guard, his hand finds a bit of Richard’s shirt to cling on to. The kiss deepens, and Dean is seeing stars. They’ve kissed before, they’ve fucked before, but this…This is different. This feels nice. This feels better. This feels…This feels right.
Richard draws him into his lap without breaking the kiss, and suddenly it’s even better than right.
—- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —-
Breathless and feeling absolutely boneless, Dean collapses on top of Richard, and they laugh through their exhaustion. Dean plants chaste little kisses on Richard’s chest. In return, Richard holds him a bit closer, stroking his back soothingly with his hand.
“Jesus, Rich, that was fantastic.”
“Only coz you did all the work.”
“Very true.”
That gets Dean a sharp slap to the ass, and Dean chuckles again. Richard draws him even closer, if possible, and sighs. Dean can feel it reverberating throughout his entire body.
“What now, Dean?”
“…Dunno.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Make it quick, I’m getting sleepy.”
“Fine then, I’ll get straight to the point. I had prepared something, but you’ve got no use for flowery speeches, have you?”
“Not usually, no.”
“Right, well…This is going to seem so anticlimactic, but…Dean, I’m in love with you.”
“…Yeah. I know. I’ve known since the day you kissed me on your couch out of bloody nowhere.”
“Well, I’ve been in love with you longer than that. Much, much, much longer than that.”
“I’m losing my touch then, I used to be able to tell these things.”
“And here I thought I was being painfully obvious.”
“Maybe I just wasn’t looking well enough.”
Dean hears rather than sees Richard smile. He starts tracing lazy circles on Richard’s skin.
“Tell me to leave Martin.”
“What?”
“Tell me to leave him, and I will.”
“Why don’t you just up and do it?”
“Because I’d like to know that I’m not doing it for nothing. I’d rather be with you than him, but if the feeling isn’t mutual, I don’t want to end up pressuring you into anything you don’t want to be in. I don’t want you to feel like you have to pick up the slack or something, or try to put me back together or whatever.”
“Do you want to leave him?”
“Do you want me to leave him?”
“I…want you to…be happy. Just be happy. You deserve to be.”
“We all do. And you know what, Dean, cheesy as it sounds, I’m happy when I’m with you.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“I know, isn’t it?”
They laugh together again, and Dean is pretty sure he could get used to this, if he isn’t already.
“So what is it you want, Deano?”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly.”
“Well, honestly…I want you to be with me, Rich.”
“Good. Coz I want to be with you.”
“Oh, look at how well that all works out.”
“…What about Aidan?”
Dean shrugs. He can already imagine Aidan’s face, thinks he can predict what he might say, how he might react.
“He’ll be okay, I think. I mean…He is still with Graham, so that’s something. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just…I don’t think we were really meant to last, him and me. Nah, he’ll be fine, he can take care of himself.”
“I’m sure he will. In the meantime, you, sir, need to take care of me, coz the way you’ve been squirming against me is causing me a bit of a problem. That’s deliberate, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I’m a slag, what can I say?”
Whatever else it is they have to say to each other is lost and forgotten as they kiss again, Richard’s hold on Dean tightening just ever so slightly.
—- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —- + —-
The sad thing about Icarus is that when he fell, he fell right into the sea. There was no one around to see him fall other than his father. There was no one to help. He drowned. And really, it’s not the sun’s fault. The sun is always going to be there, it’s always going to shine, and it’s always going to be hot, and it’s always going to melt wax and cause other Icaruses to fall too.
The good thing about Dean is that when he fell, someone saw. Someone caught him before it was too late. And it’s not like Richard is trying to make him a new set of wings. Richard is taking him along a different path, giving him a different option, letting him make his own choice. He doesn’t have to fly again. The thing about flying, anyway, is that everything passes by way too fast. So Dean will just walk for now. It’ll be a lot easier to appreciate everything. No pressure. No pressure at all.
6 - My favorite band is Hanson. Again, can’t tell me nothing. I’ve been a fan since 1997, which was the start of their mainstream career. And I literally can’t not love them, they’re fantastic. They’re like fine wine. I mean, I've got a favorite solo artist, and my taste in music is actually rather varied, but YEAH. HANSON.
12 - Perfect date? Pizza, movie, maybe a little bit of arcade, good conversation. The pizza can be distributed throughout the date, but the date cannot do without. >:D
18 - I think, although this hasn’t been scientifically proven yet, I have a drowning phobia. Also a phobia of slow deaths. Also - and I used to know the term for this, but I’ve forgotten - I balk at the sight of anything insanely thin going into something insanely thick, like piercing a needle into a styrofoam ball. That’s why when I need to get shots or need to have blood drawn, I can’t watch the needle going in. I’m not sure if it’s a phobia or if it’s just nausea, but it happens everytime. I can’t push thumbtacks into thick corkboards without retching. It’s weird, but there’s a term for it.
