The Goo Goo Dolls started a song with “I’ll give up forever to touch you.” and frankly speaking, I will too just to see you again. To be able to catch a whiff of you, to get lost in your eyes, to share 10 minutes with you, shout “steroids” because your team won, to share a fleeting moment once more. Yes, I will give up my mortality for that.
You stood in front of me, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening in the television, cheered for your home team and fought the ever so bobbling heads of the people perched in front of you. There you were. You were just there. In front of me and I didn’t even get your name at all. You told me that Oxford can still make it through because of the bend and I shot your idea down and said that the distance was a boat away and it would be difficult. Your lips stretched with glee as if a secret wish of yours was granted. I did ask you if you support a certain team and you told me “Cambridge”. You did return the question and I said. “Oxford”. You tried to find out more by asking why and my reply was vague and in my opinion, stupid. My body was weakening already but I managed to blurt out, “I just like the school, that’s all.”.
In a sea of people where everyone just go back and forth, purpose-driven or aimlessly floating, we stumble on gems that will ground us, keep us stationary and just freeze us on our tracks. Most of us will know what to do, others are going to be like a fish out of water. I belong to the latter.
Your team was winning, feeding gushes of waves and sprays of vapour. If they were on land, they could have been shouting “eat my dust!”. A bubble was created. I introduced myself. I asked when will you go back to Cambridge and said, “Will you have coffee with me before you go and receive your education again?”. You said yes. At the end of the day, I landed a kiss on your perfectly contoured lips and said our goodbyes. I got your number and promised to each other that we will keep in touch. That was supposed to happen. Like a fish out of water, I aimlessly tried to get a grasp of what will I say to you. Instead, I wished that your team will sink and loose the race and I thought about it loudly.
A missed opportunity. You gravitated towards your group, never to return. Glances were exchanged but I was scared shitless to say something. “Alex, say something, you imbecile!’, I told myself. But then again, words just flooded in my feeble brain and I did find it hard to grab something, to even grunt was a Herculean task!
I was sure that I will be shot down but then again, what if I will have that coffee with you? To see you again and visit Cambridge? Questions that I will never know the answers for I allowed my fear to get a hold of my trachea. So here I am, writing a letter to the world, hoping that you will pick it up and read it. To give me a second chance to ask for your name.
As you walked passed me, our eyes collided. Not a word was said but it was clear that it was goodbye. Your eyes told me, “Why didn’t you ask me?” and all that I can muster was a simple smile and a nod. Probably, I was just projecting. Anyway, I did loose the moment.
As with every missed opportunity, I am leaving this all to fate for dreamers are left with their hands holding their gonads.
