miserable at best // treegan 2021 au1
TAGGING: Troian Bellisario, Keegan Allen @supitskeegs
LOCATION: Troian’s home. Los Angeles, CA.
TIMEFRAME: February 2021. Early evening.
NOTES: When the truth comes out about Troian’s boyfriend, her and Keegan struggle to figure out where they go next.
Troian was busy clearing the table after dinner when she heard a car pull up in the driveway. Huh - weird. Keegan had Phillip and Sophia for the night, and Richard was perched in the living room watching some game on TV. She strode over to the windows and peeked out, surprised to see Keegan holding Sophia by the hand and Phillip slinking in the background as they came up to the front door. Before they could knock, Troian had opened it and her worried gaze swept over them. She didn't see any bruises or scratches..so obviously nothing was actually physically wrong with them and she was wondering why Keegan hadn't called. "Hey," she greeted them and leaned down to pick up Sophia who wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. "Is everything..okay.." Her voice trailed off as she swept over Keegan's face. He looked /pissed/. "What happened?" She asked, her brows furrowed.
Keegan had sat down with Phillip to talk to him about the events earlier that day, wanting to get to the bottom of this. After talking for a little bit, Keegan couldn't believe what Philip had admitted to him. "Richard said that it's okay to punch people," Phillip had told him. Richard? Troian's boyfriend? No wonder Phillip had been acting out as of recently. It must have started when Troian started to see this guy who was clearly bad news. "Well he's wrong. Violence isn't the answer. You shouldn't listen to him," Keegan said. "Well Mommy listens to him about stuff," he replied, causing Keegan to roll his eyes. "Come on, we're going to pay a visit to Richard," he muttered, getting Sophia out of her room and getting them both settled in the car. Once getting to Troian's, Keegan stormed to the front door, watching as Troian answered. "Where is he? Where the hell is Richard?"
Troian widened her eyes as Keegan was practically spitting fire. "Whoa. Wait. What's happening?" Richard had apparently heard his name being called because he was now standing behind Troian and looking at Keegan. Uh-oh. The two men had never gotten along and Troian knew it extended far past ex rivalry, their personalities were just so different. She winced slightly as Richard squeezed her waist but kept still. She knew she'd probably have to be a buffer if it got too intense..and she had a feeling it was going to get intense. "Hey, can you take your sister into your room, please?" Troian asked Phillip and was grateful that he didn't argue with her, just grabbed Sophia's hand and led her up the stairs. "Keegan, what's this all about?" She asked him. "What's your problem with Richard?"
Keegan rolled his eyes and shook his head. He couldn't believe that Troian had no idea what her own boyfriend was saying to their son, ultimately causing what had happened and the reason Philip got in trouble. Once Troian told the kids to go upstairs, Keegan shut the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. "What I mean is your stupid boyfriend is telling Phililp things that are getting him in trouble! He told me that Richard told him it's okay to punch people. And if Mommy listens to Richard, why shouldn't he?" He said in an annoyed tone, shaking his head. As Richard came down the stairs, Keegan glared at him. "Oh, of course you're here. Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Is that what you like to do as a hobby?" He muttered, trying to resist the urge to punch this guy.
Troian couldn't believe the words coming out of Keegan's mouth. Not that she thought he was lying, far from it. More of the thought that this was actually happening under her roof and she had no idea. "Wait, what?" She asked him. She knew Richard and Keegan were as different as night and day, but she didn't think Richard would ever go behind her back and try to parent /their/ children. She had only been dating him for a few months, they hadn't even approached the idea of moving in together yet or anything. Troian was going as slow as possible and she knew why that was, but she wasn't going to admit it out loud. Coming back to the present, Troian turned behind her to see Richard glaring right back at Keegan. "Did you tell my son to fix his problems with violence? Why didn't you come to me about it?" Richard scoffed. "He has to solve his problems like a man. Seems somebody wasn't teaching him that." Troian shook her head and could practically feel Keegan getting ready for a fight. She pressed her hand lightly against Keegan's chest. "I'd like you to leave, Richard. Please." She couldn't even stand to look at him right now, she felt so disgusted. And hurt.
Keegan wanted to punch this guy so bad but knew it wouldn't be setting a good example for Phillip and it would only make him a hypocrite. He didn't know what Troian ever saw in this guy but he was glad that she now knew the truth and was telling him to leave. Once he did, Keegan swallowed hard and looked over at Troian who refused to look him in the eye. "Hey, it's okay. You didn't know. I'm sorry that he...ended up being a jerk. Although I'm kind of not. Never understood what you saw in that guy from the beginning," he said, pursing his lips. "Hopefully now Phillip can really get back on track with him not around. I mean...that was you breaking up with him, right?"
Troian was waiting for Richard to argue back with her but maybe he could sense something in her tone because he didn't. Troian watched as he gathered up his stuff and stormed out, her eyes on his back the entire time. One more failed relationship down the drain. She chewed on her bottom lip and didn't turn back around to look at Keegan. She was humiliated. Here she was, trying so hard to have her shit together without him, and he was still witnessing her fuck up her life. How had things gotten this messed up? How had she gone from the top to the bottom so fast? "I don't know," she answered him softly. Because the sad truth was she didn't. She didn't want to be alone. Richard wasn't perfect, and they argued a good percent of the time, and he had a tendency to get pushy but still - nobody wanted to sleep alone at night. Sometimes Troian had to settle for what she could get. "You want something to drink?" She asked him. "Your hands are still shaking." Shutting the door behind him, Troian walked into the kitchen.
Keegan felt a pang in his chest when Troian said she didn't know. She didn't know if she was going to stay with this guy? She could do so much better and the thought of Troian thinking she couldn't or staying with him even after everything made him feel even more upset. "Sure, I'll take water," he replied quietly, sticking his hands in his pockets when she noted that they were shaking. Following her in there, Keegan leaned against the counter and bit down on his bottom lip, trying to think of something to say. "So you really don't know if you're gonna stay with this guy? Why /would/ you stay with him, T?"
Troian heard Keegan follow her into the kitchen but didn't turn around to face him just yet as she filled a glass with his water. She didn't want him to see the display of emotions on her face just yet. It was always really hard hiding how she was feeling from him and even after years apart, that hadn't changed. Turning off the sink, she turned around to hand him his glass and watched as he stared at her. She chewed the inside of her cheek, tasting the slick flesh, and then swallowed. "Because what else do I have?" She asked tiredly. "I don't want to be alone, Keegan. He's..he's the only one I've got looking at me that way and no, maybe he's not perfect, but he still wants me and I don't see anyone else lining up for that. It's hard being lonely." She stared straight into his eyes, knowing he understood how she felt. "No, he's not you and no one will ever /be/ you, but -" Troian had said more than she wanted to say and she flushed, wiping her hands with a rag. "Whatever. It's my life. My business. I'll..I'll figure it out. Okay?"
Keegan listened as Troian spoke, staying quiet and realizing that he felt the same way as her. It sucked to be lonely and she was telling him this as if he didn't know what it felt like, not really dating anyone since her. There were a few people here and there but it had never been anything serious and now here he was, alone and single at his age and feeling awful about it. "Tell me about it," he muttered as she said it was hard being lonely. "I mean I'm just saying...you can do way better than that guy and if you're with him just because you think you can't do any better or you're better off with him than being alone, you're wrong," he said. "But yeah, your business. You can figure it out. If that's what you want," he said, nodding slightly. "I should go. I only came here to tell you what Phillip told me and well, straighten it all out."
Troian continued chewing on the inside of her cheek as she listened to Keegan. "Maybe I can't," she challenged him. "Maybe I had the best thing I could get and I fucked it up." Her eyes didn't leave his as she spoke and then she sighed. This was pointless. No matter how many hints she dropped to Keegan that she missed him, that she couldn't do better than him, he either chose to ignore it or he was completely oblivious about it. They just weren't on the same page anymore. She didn't know what had happened between them but the damage had been done and it was still being fixed. She pressed her lips together as he said he should go and resisted the urge to beg him to stay, to just /not/ be logical and smart for one night but simply nodded her head. "Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry it happened - it won't happen again."
Keegan pursed his lips while staring into her eyes. "You didn't fuck it up, we both messed up," he said quietly, sticking his hands in his pockets. Years later and he hated the fact that he and Troian were never able to fix things but then she had moved on, started dating this guy and it felt more hopeless than it ever did. Nodding as she thanked him for telling her, Keegan pushed off the counter and started walking towards the door. "Not your fault, it's all good. I'll see you soon. When you come to pick the kids up," he said, making his way to the bottom of the stairs to call them. "Phillip, Sophia, time to go!" He said, smiling slightly as they both came downstairs. "Say bye to your Mom, time to head home."
Troian tried not to feel hurt at how quickly Keegan wanted to get away from her - then again, she couldn't really blame him. She didn't want to be around herself ninety nine percent of the time either. "Yeah," she agreed softly. Her heart ached all of a sudden - the way it always did when thinking about Keegan, and what they used to be, and how painfully obvious it was that he didn't want her like that anymore. The worst day of Troian's life was definitely when her father had passed, but the day she realized Keegan had fallen out of love with her was a close second. Or, at least, that's what it seemed like to her - too trapped in her own feelings of self-pity and insecurities. Watching as the kids came down the stairs, Troian gathered Phillip into a hug and pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love you," she whispered. "I'm sorry." He seemed to know what she was apologizing for because he just nodded and hugged her a little tighter. When he moved away, Troian pulled Sophia in for a hug too and smoothed back her blonde curls. "I love you too, munchkin number two," she tapped her nose and then straightened up. "Mommy? Aren't you coming home with us?" Sophia asked innocently and Troian swallowed. "Mommy's gonna stay right here," she answered her and then locked eyes with Keegan. "Night, Keegs," she told him and gave him a small smile.