strawberries & cigarettes
@247octavia // 2012 . classroom . university . 9:00 am
yeeun feared coming here. being in such a grand space, making her feel small. she was tired of feeling small- but here she was in an empty room with seats surrounding her from left to right, from behind and from the front. the podium seemed so far away and she wondered if the teachers were even worse here than back in high school. distant, secretive, always looking guilty for reasons yeeun doesn’t even want to think about. she knows she’s not supposed to judge so quickly, but school had never been a fun thing to look back to.
after weeks coming here, however, she’s found it less and less daunting, especially when octavia sits next to her. usually students move around, looking for new people each day or simply avoiding some the next day, but not her. already the seat next to her has a name and without words, everyone else knows it too.
yeeun felt like an outlier because she was older than most of the students in her class. she applied two years later than those her age. she assured herself it wasn’t going to be a problem even if for a while it was. it was until octavia sat next to her for the first time was when she didn’t feel much of an age gap and knowing they both went to the same high school gave a bigger incentive to keep in touch with her. but that wasn’t the only thing. oh no, there was so much more to octavia that yeeun doesn’t speak about. like the way her smile appears almost instantly when she looks at her (it’s because of me, right?), the casual skinship shared after class (of course not, we’re just friends), the way octavia pays attention to her no matter who is around (she’s a good friend then).
she holds her breath at the door opens and of course it had to be octavia. they were both always the first to arrive before anyone else, giving them enough time alone together. just them two. yeeun sends a little wave and her heart beat paces faster and faster the more the other reaches her spot. “hey.” she pulls the cushioned seat down for her and pats her hand on it with a smile. “finally- i thought i was going to die in this silence by myself.” yeeun loves silence, but the sound of her voice beats it tenfold. “it’s no fun without you.” she looks at her. she smiles, but it’s long lived once realizing how honest she’s becoming- too dangerous, so she pulls back. “i didn’t even study last night. i found this really good poetry book in the library. i’ll lend it to you when i’m done. you’ll love it.”
