#p:toulouse

[benji-darling-blog]

baby, I need a task

Um sure. "Make an engagement ring and propose to someone” or  “Write a song and perform it at lunch”.

[benji-darling-blog]

ftf: Benji, master...

ftf: Yeah, baby?

[benji-darling-blog]

Goodbye Isn’t Forever || Tounji

Who: @benji-darling and @touloucollar When: Sunday 1/10 What: Benji tells Toulouse that he’s leaving.

Benji was still reeling from the phone call he'd gotten. He couldn't believe this was real. This was his big shot, and he couldn't pass it up, because he knew there wouldn't be another. But his happiness was tempered with the knowledge that he'd have to leave Toulouse. He was sort of dreading this conversation, but he knew they needed to have it. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked to Toulouse's room, and knocked softly on the door.

Toulouse was glad to be back in his body. He was glad to have his thumbs more then anything. Spending all the time he had with Benji wasn't bad but it was nice to have his paints and everything. Standing in the living room, Toulouse was mid painting as he heard a knock. "Doors open." he called, running his brush over the canvas.

Benji let himself into the room, smiling softly when he saw Toulouse standing there painting. "Hi baby," he said, a lump rising in his throat.

Toulouse looked over with a smile but it faded as he looked at Benji. That look, he knew that look, it was never a good one. Putting the brush down, he twisted his face. "Whats wrong?"

Benji looked down at his hands, taking a deep breath. "I um, I have some news," he said slowly, pressing his lips together as he looked up at Toulouse again. "I got a call from a recruiter... They want me to play for a third tier team in England, and they think I might have a chance of moving up. I could play premier league someday."

Toulouse eyes grew at first. He feared the worse but with the words, he couldn't help but smile. "Benji, that is...thats amazing baby." Walking over to hug him with a grin. "Your dream, you're getting your dream. I couldn't be more happy for you. So when do they want you? After we're done here or...." His smile fell some as it semi hit him. "They want you now, don't they?"

Benji sighed. "Yeah, baby. They want me to go now." He swallowed hard. "I have to be at training on Tuesday. Have to meet with sponsors and stuff..." He hugged Toulouse back tightly, not wanting to let go of him. "I wish they'd given me more time, but I... I can't pass this up."

Toulouse held onto him. He was breaking a little but at the same time, so happy for his love. "No you can't and wouldn't let you. This is your dream and it matters more then anything else." Looking into his blue eyes, Toulouse smiled a little as he thought about how much he loved the boy and would give Benji the world if he could. "So we have til tuesday? Does this mean I can hold you captive in your room until then?" Laughing softly, trying to lighten the mood.

Benji did his best to smile, still clinging to Toulouse. "Yeah, of course Kitten," he said, reaching his hand up to run through Toulouse's hair. "Not letting you out of my sight until I have to leave for the plane, okay?"

Toulouse leaned into his touch, closing his eyes. "Good because I'm going to hold you tight until the moment you have to leave. Plus, Eloise needs her last days with her daddy too." Biting his lip though, Toulouse felt something build in him he needed to ask. "Does this mean we're breaking this off...."

Benji sucked in a shaky breath. "I don't want to, baby. I want to marry you. I want us to have a family. But.. I'm going to be away the whole time you're still in school..." he chewed his lip. "I don't want to end it, but I don't want to make you wait. It's up to you."

Toulouse chewed on his lip. "I still want to marry you too, hell I told my mama that I don't want the title, I just want to me yours...I don't want to end this either and you're not holding me back but I mean, I know how we both are with things...like sex." for the first time in a while, his cheeks reddening with a blush.

Benji cupped Toulouse's cheeks, tugging his lip away from his teeth. "Then we'll make it work. I'm yours, forever. Even if we're four thousand miles apart." He kissed Toulouse's cheek, then rested his forehead against it, kissing his jaw. He tensed a little when Toulouse brought up the thing that he knew they'd have to talk about. "It wouldn't be fair to keep you from that so... I guess we can have like, an open relationship in that sense..."

Toulouse gave into him so easily. Butter in his love's hands as he nodded. "Just means I'll have to send you four thousand more I love yous." Trying to still lighten the mood. He tensed to hear what Benji said, but he nodded anyhow. "Okay. But I'm still marrying you...no matter what." His hand finding Benji's and lacing their fingers together.

Benji nodded. "Of course," he said, lifting up Toulouse's hand that had the ring on it. "Everything's going to be just like we planned it. Just a couple years further in the future than we thought." He squeezed Toulouse's hand. "I'm going to miss you so much." He was trying his best to hold it together, but his chest was tight with all his emotions.

Toulouse nodded. "yeah, exactly. Everything will go as planned." he nodded. He was holding it all back, the tears from having to see him go as well as the tears of joy of him finally getting his dream. "I'm going to miss you too, but we'll write and maybe I can come see you in the summer for a bit..." Chewing his lip. "You have to promise me that if things get bad again, you'll call me right away."

Benji swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the tears burning in them. "Yeah, I will. I promise baby. And I'll be okay. This is like... everything I've ever dreamed of. I can't believe it's actually happening."

Toulouse wiped at his tears. "Don't do this now...you're going to make me tear up and I'm trying not to cry until I have to." Sniffing a little bit as he grinned. "You are going to be so famous and amazing. You will be the best damn player out there."

Benji laughed through his tears. "I'm not going to be the best, but it's okay. As long as I get to meet Becks at some point, I'll be happy," he gave a watery smile.

Toulouse grinned, letting his eyes well up more. "Hush you. You're going to be amazing and maybe he'll be asking you for advice." Laughing as well. "I really am so happy for you, Benji." Holding his hand tighter. "Could we...will you let me hold you in bed, please?"

Benji shook his head, but he was smiling. "We'll see." He rubbed his thumb over the back of Toulouse's palm. "Sure, baby."

Toulouse grinned, kissing his nose. "No matter what, you'll always be bigger then Beck to me." He brought him back to the bed, laying there and cuddling close with him, his arms around Benji as he looked into his eyes. "Did you tell Sage and Wendy yet?"

Benji snuggled into Toulouse's side, draping his arm around his waist and resting his head on his chest. "No, not yet. Sage will probably be ecstatic to get rid of me," he shrugged dissmissively.

Toulouse kissed his hair. "Well no matter what, you're following your dream and I'm proud of my fotball star." Caressing his cheek, he just was glad that he had this time. He had until the moment Benji left to just be in a bubble with his love.

Benji closed his eyes, wrapping himself tighter around Toulouse. "I love you so much."

Toulouse wrapped him even tighter in his arms. "I love you too. So so much."

[benji-darling-blog]

F2f: Toulouse read over the punishment, read over what he'd have to go through. He understood the tobacco but the other scared him. Really scared him, so climbing into Benji's bed, Toulouse whimpered and hid in his neck as he tried to let his soft sobs wake his love.

F2F: Benji slowly blinked awake, becoming aware of his surroundings. As soon as he realized Toulouse was crying, his chest clenched and he immediately wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him close and pressing a kiss into his hair. “It’s okay, baby. It’s going to be okay. Talk to me,” he murmured, rubbing Toulouse’s back softly.

[berlz-chatte-blog]

Chatte Bros || 11/26

Berlioz desperately needed to get off campus. It felt like everything was falling apart, and he was losing control of his life. He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to sub for Zeke. It was just another sign showing how fucked up everything was right now. He wanted to see Toulouse, but he really didn’t want to talk about anything, and hoped Toulouse wouldn’t push. He just wanted to get high and forget about life. When he finally managed to drag himself out of bed that morning, he trudged to Toulouse’s room and banged obnoxiously on the door.

@touloucollar

[benji-darling-blog]

Aftercare || Tounji || 10/17

The punishment was awful, honestly, Benji was pretty sure he was actually going to go insane. He’s certain he started hallucinating at some point during the night. But the biggest thing weighing on his mind was the fact that Toulouse got hurt, and he hadn’t been there to take care of his baby. He knew Toulouse would tell him it was fine, and that it wasn’t his fault, but Benji was a pro at blaming himself for things he had no control over. He wanted nothing more than to hold his kitten close for the next week and never let him go, but the assessment week started on Monday and he was going to lose him. The timing of this all really fucking sucked. 

Finally though, the punishment was over and he was free. He knew Toulouse would be waiting there for him as soon as curfew was up. He desperately needed a bath and a few hours in bed.

@touloucollar

[benji-darling-blog]

Toulouse couldn't believe they won, he couldn't believe they did it. He also couldn't believe that he had his foot in heavy wrap and walking shoe. He had broken a bone deep inside his foot during the game. Now limping out to Benji, Toulouse sighed as he knew his love would ask and would see his injury.

Benji was pissed that he had to miss the game. They’d lost the last two, but they’d been practicing hard since then, and he had been really optimistic about this game, so missing it was really upsetting. He put his frustration into digging his hole, trying not to think about the fact that he’d be buried in it all night. 

He knew Toulouse was coming to see him before curfew, but he was later than he thought he would be, and Benji started to get a little worried at the delay. He was already stuck in the hole when he finally saw Toulouse coming, but he was walking slowly and strangely, and as he got closer, Benji saw the cast. His brows furrowed. “Baby, what happened?” he asked, his worry taking his mind completely off his punishment. He couldn’t focus on the itching or the feeling of being trapped when Toulouse was hurt. Toulouse was always his first priority, and he needed him to be okay.

[benji-darling-blog]

Tounji || 10/3

Benji felt like shit after the team had lost their second game. They’d played well, but it hadn’t been enough, and he blamed himself for not training harder, for not doing more drills at practice, or working on better plays. He was beating himself up over the game, and letting his thoughts spiral into a dark place, and he needed Toulouse to distract him. Shopping hadn’t really been what he was thinking about, but it would do him good to get off campus, and hopefully sexy shopping would lead to actual sex, and that was definitely something he was interested in. He got dressed and then went to meet Toulouse at his room, tugging his beanie down further on his head, and his hoodie sleeves over his hands as he stood outside the door.

@touloucollar