watchdog.
@rkkey
( tw !! insecurities, self deprecation )
as much as he’d hyped up this day, and as much as he’d felt comfort whilst in the recording room, sitting out here with the other members watching the vocal unit record their sections made his heart race and his stomach churn with nerves. there’s a constant loop of doubts playing in his mind, that even though the staff had okayed him at the end of his session, that he isn’t good enough, that he’s going to get cut down to a one second vocal contribution and thrown to the back of the dance and entirely forgotten. ( the more he thinks about it, the more his nerves get to him and the more he thinks that probably would be ideal, but as much as he wants everyone else to shine, he also doesn’t want to hear from fans, too, that he’s a waste of space in the convex line-up. just from himself is enough. )
his fingers drum against his thigh as he listens. everyone is so talented, it feels as if they were born for this— for stardom, for music, for convex. he tries not to think about how he feels. it’s this reason that he also doesn’t really realise what’s happening around him besides what he can hear from those recording, what he can see on either side of the glass separating the staff and the idols he looks up to— will debut with. his fingers drum faster— I’m not good enough, and he sucks in a sharp breath.