Jul 21, 2018
I like Frozen.
Me then:
Me now:
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Russia
I like Frozen.
Me then:
Me now:
Funny story from martial arts class.
So Covid-19 happened, and with it, far fewer face-to-face interactions with people, and hence, little opportunity for funny telepathy stories.
But I have a new one now!
I am studying martial arts, and I’ve been at this school for about six months. We have a teacher’s assistant who is something of a goofball kind of guy - he’ll say anything he can get away with saying, and think anything he can’t get away with saying aloud. He likes to make students laugh with “bodily functions” humor, picking your nose jokes, that sort of thing. It gets your mind off what you’re doing, and actually ends up improving your practice because you’ve stopped thinking about your practice and worrying about messing up.
We actually have a few “characters,” so honestly, one if the reasons I look forward to class is for the sheer unpredictability of what someone will say or think this time. There’s been a lot.
This time, I was in class, and the assistant pointed out how stressed I was and asked why, so I told him my car wouldn’t start and I had to get a ride to class. And he told me to put all that behind me now, and focus on class, but apparently I really was just so stressed out, that for whatever reason, I just couldn’t relax.
“You have to think of yourself as a big balloon, and just let all the air out,” he said, pushing down my shoulders. “Relax like a big balloon.” Then he paused. “I was actually going to say something else.”
And straight up ‘cast an image of a used condom. I mean VISUALS AND ALL, guys. (And I’m ace, so I’ve literally never seen this irl.)
So I gave him a LOOK like WHAT THE HELL and he says, “I made you laugh!”
...And if that’s how he is when I haven’t mentioned being telepathic - that’s just how his mind works anyway - imagine what will happen if I ever do.
Oops
The internet said that to “open your third eye,” you should close your eyes, look towards your nose, and focus out your forehead.
So I tried it, and I tapped my forehead gently.
Now I have a red bruise on my forehead. My mom was like, “what happened to your head?! It looks like you’re bleeding!”
I don’t know what happened.
Yoga video
The internet says that wiggling your eyebrows and flapping your arms increases telepathic abilities.
cLeArLy I hAvE tO TrY tHiS oUt BeCaUsE qUaRaNtInE
And then, in high school...
Someone: “What’s it like to be a later?”
Me:
History lesson.
Telling someone about 150 years of mundanes stripping us of social, political and legal rights. The right to hold office. The right to hold most jobs. The right to free political speech. The right to dress the same as others if we wish to. Mundanes doing this to us, not the Corps. And how often we’re violently attacked, how common that is. How it’s treated as an actual joke when it happens, too.
Mentioning also how the Corps is the largest agency in all of EarthGov, set up by mundanes back in the day to monitor and control every single aspect of the lives of telepaths - our own separate schools, police, prisons, etc. - even though we’re .1% of the population, which is why many mundanes resent the Corps so much (all the money goes to us, not to any other projects around the world that would really use that funding) -
And this guy’s like, “the real reason they resent telepaths is because you’re calling us ‘mundanes’ all the time.”
Yeah, not any of the oppression I mentioned above (or EarthGov wasting trillions on oppressing us) - the real problem is the WORDS we use that reflect our displeasure with this bullshit.
Oh, sure. If only they could take away our ability to express anger at them, too! Then no one would EVER have a reason to hate telepaths again!
Perfect.
Strangers (normals, bless their hearts) have come up to me to tell me my shoes are perfect for the Corps, my hair is perfect for the Corps, my glasses are perfect for the Corps, that I stand like I’m in Psi Corps, that I pass right up close, face to face!... you get the picture.
I told a new friend that normals sometimes harass me. She asked if they’ve told me, “your breasts are perfect for the Corps!”
No... because that would take a Certain Kind Of Person, and they’d have to be in on the joke first. :-) They’re not nearly so savvy.
Humor doesn’t translate well across cultures.
“Has anyone ever told you your breasts are perfect for the Corps?” --> a joke
/looks at my hands/ “Your hands are perfect for Psi Corps!” --> actual sexual harassment
Not quite.
“It’s almost like you’re a Psi Corps agent, trying to convince us all that you’re NOT a Psi Corps agent!”
“...That I’m not?”
And what the hell is a “Psi Corps agent,” anyway?