MISSION: 423*PROMETHEUS
TIMEFRAME: 2303 to 0005
PAGING: Agent Neo @codenameneo
It’s chaos, and not the good kind.
West still feels his heartbeat in his throat from the hissing static of lost comms and a single gunshot. The minutes that pass afterwards feel like days slipping away as they wait for updates of something, anything, to indicate just what the hell is going on. A heavy breath escapes his lips and West’s shoulder slump in obvious relief when people start talking again.
His eyes catch Briana across the room. Her fancy, bright dress catches his eyes immediately and West closes the distance between them as the Hercules make for a swift retreat. West’s fingers itch to grab the key fob out of his suit pants and go grab the car, but there is a strict voice in his head that sounds oddly like Hel barking a “not yet” at him.
“Fancy seein’ you here, huh?” West says with a laugh as bodyguards start pouring out of a side door. If it is a fight they want, West is sure as hell going to give them one.
It’d been a few days since Sam came home. A few days since Emmy’s dream came true. She still couldn’t believe that he was really there, and had to pinch herself each time she woke up to realize she wasn’t dreaming. She’d honestly thought she would never have the chance to wake up with him beside her again. There was still so much to talk about, but she didn’t want to push Sam. She knew the things that happened to him were beyond thinkable, and she couldn’t imagine having to live through that. It broke her heart to know that someone was capable of hurting anyone like that, let alone someone as kind as Sam.
But sadness was for another day, another time. For now, they had a wedding to plan. A future to discuss. Emmy was beyond thrilled that her wildest dream was coming true, and that soon, she would be able to walk down the aisle and say her vows, only to become married to the love of her life. All of the planning she’d done before Sam had gone missing went out the window. That was another time, and things had changed. There was so much to discuss and decide.
Emmy sat on her bedroom floor with a binder out in front of her - something she’d put together and kept from before. It listed every aspect that needed to be planned, and while she’d scrapped everything that had been planned before, she was ready to start new. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she wore a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt of Sam’s that she’d stolen from him. She’d give it back. ...eventually. For now, she claimed it as her own, and she loved the way it wrapped around her and smelled like him. It was like a never ending hug.
Looking up at her fiance, she tilted her head. “So...we should probably start with a date first. I feel like that’s the important part. We can have everything all planned out, but without a date, nothing’s going to happen.” She wiggled a pencil between her fingers. “Personally, I don’t want to wait. I don’t know about you, but I’ve done my waiting. Twelve years of it. In Azkaban. I’m not talking about tomorrow soon, but...I don’t know. What do you think?”
Jogging up and down the sideline to warm up before the game, Gabriel was scanning the crowd in search of a specific person. She’d told him she’d be at the game tonight, but thanks to his phone dying and not sounding off the alarm like it was supposed to, his short twenty minute power nap had turned into a two hour long one, which made him late for the game. Unfortunately that meant he didn’t have time to go see Jasmine first, instead having to jump into his gear and getting warmed up for the first quarter. Despite it being his first year here, he’d already made starter, which he was more than a little proud over. College football was a lot harder than high school, but he loved the challenge, and he still managed to do well.
“Gabriel! Get your ass out on the field, now!” Coach Brown’s voice pulled him back to reality, and giving up his search for Jasmine, he sprinted out on the field for kickoff. It didn’t take long before he forgot all about her, and everything else. When he was playing football, that was all he could concentrate on, and he absolutely loved it. There was nothing quite like the adrenaline surging through his body as his hands locked around the ball, his body moving so fast down the field that none of the other players stood a chance at catching him, the crowd and his teammates screaming in joy as he scored a touchdown. Gabriel lived for it, loved it, and today was no different. It was a rough game, though, with more tackles and dirty words thrown around than usual. There was a tension in the air, and everyone knew something was bound to go wrong sooner or later. It finally happened with just a minute left of the second quarter, and unfortunately, Gabriel was the one getting the brunt of it. They were up by one point and the other team seemed determined not to let them score before halftime, so when the football came flying for Gabriel and he reached for it, at least four of the opposing team’s defence ganged up on him, tackling him hard to the ground. He barely had time to register the sharp pain in his head before everything went black for a few long seconds, and when the defence rolled off him and got up on their feet, he didn’t move.
What: Rachel brings Quinn breakfast and things get weird
Warnings: Alcohol Abuse, Rape, Abuse, Pregnancy, Miscarriage/Loss Of Child, NSFW SEXY TIMES
Rachel is over thinking this, she knows it is too much and Quinn is not looking for over the top effort but she can’t help it. She grabs different pastries and a few bagels with different spreads and she grabs two coffee and tea before making her way to Quinn and Duke’s apartment.
She dials Quinn’s number and asks for her help with the door and waits for her to let her inside.
Quinn has barely managed to change into something more comfortable when she gets the call from Rachel to let her in. Duke definitely isn't home, which isn't all that unusual. He often goes home with men and then just showers and changes at work. Instead of trekking home and then having to hurry. Which meant that it would just be Quinn and Rachel. Which was slightly terrifying but Quinn tried not to think about it.
Heading downstairs, she's quiet, even as she pulls the door open for Rachel to let her in. The other woman has definitely gone above and beyond what was even remotely required but she wasn't surprised by it. This was Rachel, overdoing it was in her blood, Quinn was sure. She takes some of it off Rachel's hands and then leads her upstairs, still quiet as ever until they finally make it to the apartment. "Guess it's good to know you're still over the top." She teases quietly.
Rachel can’t help but blush at Quinn’s comment, closing the door behind her. “I’m not sure something like that could just change about me. Grand gestures are kind of my thing.” She winks and finds a table to set her things down.
"Grand anything is kinda your things." Quinn laughs a bit, shaking her head. "What all did you even bring?" There's so much there and she can't entirely fathom what all she's looking at. Not that she minds, it means more food for later on. It's just way more than she even remotely expected.
“I got a few croissants, bagels, muffins, I think there is a scone and a donut.” Rachel laughs. “And two large coffees.” She grabs a muffin for herself and one of the coffees. “So was the night slow?”
Quinn shook her head with a laugh. Rachel had brought a truly insane amount of food. She grabbed a couple croissants and a muffin before wandering into the kitchen to grab a mug and then filled it with milk. It was too early in the morning or late at night, really, to be drinking coffee. "Extremely."
“Are you much of a tv watcher? What do you normally do with your mornings if you’re not sleeping?”
"I watch Netflix sometimes? Watch a lot of like cooking and baking shows. But I kinda blame Duke on that." She shrugs. "Days off usually see me at the library honestly. If I can't sleep I'll maybe go bug Duke at work."
“The library? What are reading at the moment?” Rachel didn’t pay much attention to cooking shoes but she does think it would be good background noise. “We could sit on the couch and watch one of these baking shows?”
"I'm not actually reading anything. It's just a good place to work." Quinn shrugs. She was working on a graphic novel, though sometimes just spent her time drawing the people she saw around her or writing random stories. All depended on how she was feeling on any particular day. "We can, yeah. If you want. But if I fall asleep on you it's not my fault."
“It is rather quiet at libraries isn’t it?” Rachel sits on the couch and sits Indian style. “I see nothing wrong with naps Quinn. Do what you need to do. I’m happy to just be here.”
"They're a little louder in the summer cos all the kids are out of school and the library tends to have programs for the kids. But ultimately, yes." Quinn joins Rachel on the couch, knees pulled up underneath her. She laughs. "I fall asleep I'm not likely to wake until dinner, and that's if we're lucky." Truth was, if she managed to sleep in the coming days she was entirely likely to sleep through work, though Duke came home early enough to be able to call her out of work and get someone to cover her, even if it meant he worked the door so the bouncer could work the bar.
“Oh, that’s right. I did a little singing thing a couple years ago at the big public library. There were so many kids. I hope they’re all doing some reading as well as finding solace.”
Rachel’s eyes widen, “So you just don’t ever sleep?”
Quinn nodded a bit as Rachel spoke. It didn't really surprise her that Rachel had done such. "Lately, yeah. I haven't slept more than an hour or two in like a week? Maybe two? Normally I'll get home from work and lay down. If I'm lucky I'll actually sleep for a bit but the nightmares have been hell lately and sleep just hasn't worked in my favor."
“I feel like something needs to change. I don’t know what it is but I’m going to figure it out. You need to sleep eventually and it needs to be peaceful sleep.” Rachel leans over. “May I hold your hand?”
"Figure out how to get rid of the nightmares that is also affordable?" Quinn shrugged, slipping her hand into Rachel's, intertwining their fingers as she did so.
“Does your body react at all when you’re sleeping? Tossing and turning? Jaw clenching? Noises?” She softly runs her fingers over her arm with the hand not in hers.
"Duke says he hears me anytime he's here. Says he hears me crying more often than he doesn't. Says I sound like I'm in pain." Quinn flinches slightly at the feeling of Rachel's finger on her arm, almost pulls away, but doesn't. She knows she needs to learn to trust again, especially the people who have done nothing to break it.
“What does he usually do?” Rachel slows herself down, knowing she overstepped. “You are in pain.”
"He doesn't do anything. He can't. I attacked him, the first and only time he tried." Quinn sighs, looking down at her lap. "But I can't do anything about it. That's the thing. I can't, I'm not capable enough."
“Have you tried sleeping next to him? Or anyone?” She’s not sure if anything’s accurate but she’s speaking from her heart. “Like you nap right now with me and I hold you and either comfort you back to no dreams or wake you up.”
Quinn shook her head. "We've cuddled before but I can never sleep. I worry too much. I don't want to hurt anyone and... I dream about things that make being near other people dangerous, for them. I can't deliberately do that. Put other people at risk like that." It wasn't entirely true, there had been times she'd managed it, dozed off in his arms, but she woke up to him have to hold her in place until she realized it was him. She knew Rachel couldn't do that.
“Have you ever gotten stoned?” Rachel doesn’t want to push the subject but she really wanted to try cuddling her.
"No and I don't want to. I don't like the idea of not being in control. And yes, I understand I also lose some control drinking but it's a loss of control I know and am comfortable with and actually know in what ways I lose that control."
“I wasn’t going to lecture you. I actually started smoking to get some sleep. That doesn’t help everyone.” Rachel sighs, “I really want to help you. Is there anything I could do to even make you a teeny bit more relaxed?”
"I figured that, given the fact you brought it up." Quinn sighs. "I don't think there's anything you or anyone can do. I'm fucked up and I have to deal with the consequences of trying to bottle it up. Trying to pretend none of it ever happened. Trying to pretend like I shouldn't have gotten away sooner."
“But that’s really not how it has to be. It can’t be. Nobody deserves to live with this much pain. Can I play with your hair or rub your back? I’m good at painting toes and washing hair. I will try everything if it means it might help.”
Quinn sighed, she was so tired. Talking about all this wasn't helping either. "Don't I, though? I could have gotten out. I could have walked away. But instead I held on and it took him walking out to realize how fucked up I was." Quinn slumped a bit and then moved lay her head in Rachel's lap, adjusting their hands as she did so, so she didn't have to let go. "You're too sweet, y'know that?" She reached up with her free hand and bopped Rachel gently on the nose.
“That’s not how it works Quinn. Sure it feels that way but you were made to feel that. You’ve settled on that being the truth.” She can never stop talking. It’s no wonder she lost her voice.
“I’m not sweet Quinn. I just really care about you.” She feels herself getting choked up
"Please, I didn't settle on shit. That's how it is, that's how it's been. Karma's a bitch and that's all this is." She grumbles. "You are sweet. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You caring about me is far more a side effect of that than the other way round."
“You’ve never been dealt the best hand and yet you persisted and you survived. What’s been done is not a product of you and really, neither is a lot of the things you did that you deem bad.”
Rachel tries to lower her voice at least, but isn’t doing the best job. “I want to play with your hair please.”
"I literally took out my shit on everybody around me, for years. How can you tell me this isn't fucking karma?" She huffs and rolls onto her side, still not letting go of Rachel's hand, instead actually pulling it to her. "You have another hand. This one is mine."
Rachel just nods in compliance. Her free hand moves through the woman’s hair gently. Careful not to snag or scratch. It helps Rachel relax too. “Karma isn’t real Quinn.”
Quinn relaxes a little as Rachel's fingers start to move through her hair. "Says you."
“What does that even mean, says me?” She continues playing, happy to be this close to her.
"Says you. Just cos you don't believe in it doesn't mean it's not real. It's like God or ghosts or some shit like that." Her words are a little slurred, the sheer amount of exhaustion and alcohol in her system coming to the surface.
“Okay. That’s fair. Just relax. I really like playing with your hair it makes me feel really calm.” Rachel squeezes her hand.
Quinn just sighs, settling a little further. "Thought this was 'bout me."
“Well it is. It’s just s perk it helps me too. I would never do this for my own pleasure.”
Quinn hums a bit. While she's not 100% sure she believes her, she doesn't have the energy to argue it. Everything over the past few weeks has left her drained and the inability to sleep and the uptake in alcohol hadn't helped either.
“Do you trust me, even a little bit?” Rachel murmurs, squeezing her hand to the beat of her own heart. “Rest. If you can. I’m here.”
"I don't know. " Her words were quiet but sincere. She didn't know. While Rachel had done nothing to betray the trust she had, so much had happened that made it hard for Quinn to tell. The only person she knew she trusted with any certainty was Duke.
“Okay.” Rachel pulls away. She didn’t want to go back on any of the progress she feels she has made with her. “I’ll just sit here.”
Quinn huffs when Rachel pulls away. "Didn't say stop."
“It seems the easiest and safest way to not upset you.”
"I got into this position willingly, don't change my mind." She's huffy now.
“I’m just supposed to jump for you? Is that what you want?” She’s teasing, though she’d jump any time she was told to. “Come back.”
"You were doing the thing and then stopped because you thought I didn't want it." She'd just started to get up before flopping back into Rachel's lap, this time, facing in towards Rachel, nuzzling her stomach.
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” She murmurs, hands moving back into her hair. “I wish I could sing to you.”
"You understand the words, 'no' and 'stop' and I know how to use them when I need to." Quinn muttered as she relaxed against Rachel. "I wish you could too. I've missed your voice."
“I understand.” Rachel reassures. “I’ve missed you. I’m so grateful to be holding you right now.” She sniffles, just playing with Quinn’s hair.
"No crying on my couch." Quinn mumbled as she heard Rachel sniffle, placing a kiss to her thigh as she rolled over onto her stomach fully, head resting on said thigh. "Your lap is much more comfortable than Duke's."
“It’s because I’m just softer than he is.” Rachel giggles, sniffling again- though it’s to keep the tears at bay. “See, I can do as I’m told.”
"Most people are softer than he is, physically anyway. He's a big softie though." Quinn laughs a little. "You like being told what to do?"
“He has to be a big softie to deal with cranky Quinn.” She leans down to kiss the top of her head. “I do. But I’m not supposed to admit to that I don’t think.”
"Big softie with the ability to hold cranky Quinn back..." Quinn sighs, nuzzling Rachel's thigh. "Why not?"
“I’ve seen it with my own eyes even.” Rachel closes her eyes, still tangled in her hair. “Because I’m Rachel Berry and I’m not supposed to submit.”
"It's worse when I'm really angry. Or when I'm not all here." She taps the side of her head with a sigh. "Who came up with that bullshit?" She could understand it, sort of, but if it's what Rachel liked, what did it matter?
“That’s What friends are for.” Rachel explains, “to help you when your brain is malfunctioning. Kurt would tell you he helped me put a sweater down during my pen malfunctions.” Her nose scrunches up. “I guess I don’t want the wrong people to know that.”
Quinn chuckles placing another kiss to Rachel's thigh. "Kurt totally did that to save the sweater and not you." She teased. "Guess that makes sense. I used to enjoy it, being told what to do, at least in certain situations. Nowadays I think I'd choke some out for trying to tell me what to do."
“He said it was ugly and I had no reason to like it.” Rachel moves a hand to cup the girls cheek. “It depends on the situation for me too. I can say I’m a little lost without Jesse there to take the lead.”
Quinn laughed. "Oh gosh." Kurt knew his fashion, that was for sure. "So maybe he was saving you, but still." Quinn moves just enough to place a kiss to Rachel's palm. Why she was so particularly cuddly she wasn't sure, but she was comfortable so what did it matter? "I guess I liked being told what to do when I could say no and be listened to."
“I love my sweaters.” She tenses just slightly. It’s weird because she feels so relaxed. “It is supposed to be like that but some people are pigs. Think they can take what they want like they’re entitled.” She’s squeezing her eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”
"Is Rachel Berry, Rachel Berry without her sweaters?" Quinn teased. She sighed as Rachel spoke, returning to peppering kisses on Rachel's thigh to keep herself distracted. "Not your fault."
“No. No I’m not.” In fact she wishes she was wearing one. “Could we maybe move to a bed? I really want to hold you.”
Quinn smirked as Rachel gave her confirmation, however, she tensed at the question. "No. Bad idea." There was a sadness in her voice, but it really wasn't something she was comfortable with. She was getting close with Duke, but she just couldn't do it. The anxiety it always seemed to cause wasn't worth it.
“Okay.” She shifts a bit and does her best to settle comfortably.
"Sorry." She mumbles, placing yet more kisses against Rachel's thigh. Quinn knows Duke would tease her mercilessly if he saw her like this, but she was comfortable. For the first time in so long, she was comfortable.
“You’d fine. Promise.” Rachel just holds her in their own special way, eventually starting to hum.
"M'kay." Quinn isn't sure she believes her, but doesn't have the energy to mention it. Instead she continues to press kisses against Rachel's thigh every so often, but mostly she just lays there, listening at first to the silence only broken by their own breathing, and then to the sound of Rachel humming. It relaxes her and her eyes close. Content, for the first time in so long, to just be.
Rachel can’t help herself, the humming, the motion of her fingers twirling in Quinn’s hair. She sinks into the couch, really allowing herself to be in the moment.
Quinn can feel herself starting to drift. The exhaustion and alcohol catching up to her. Everything catching up to her. And she nuzzles closer to Rachel, into the crease of her hip. There is something safe about this, she'd learned that with Duke. Maybe because it was something Puck had never really done. Let her just lay like this. He'd never liked cuddling as it were. And he'd always seemed to make it sexual if she tried. But with Rachel it was different, safer. Maybe because there wasn't anything there that could remind her of Puck, maybe because she knew this was Rachel who had always been safe for her. Maybe she was just too tired to care about the what ifs. No matter the reason, Quinn could feel herself drifting off to sleep,
The abrupt silence that came from her humming having stopped; as she’d fallen asleep, is what causes her to jerk. Silence was never something she could handle. “Oh no. I’m sorry.” Rachel would have been better off sleeping- she wouldn’t be waking her up if it were the case.
The jerk had Quinn almost falling out of Rachel's lap, just barely managing to grab onto Rachel, clinging to her slightly as she tried to calm herself down. There's a faint pounding in her head and she can tell she's sobering up. But as she rolls over and re-situates herself in Rachel's lap, she sighs. "I thought I told you no crying on my couch." Her voice is a little gravely as she speaks, reaching up to bop Rachel on the nose.
Rachel helps her up, offering support behind her. “I just didn’t. I didn’t mean to cry.” She wipes at her face before rubbing the top of her head. “You were sleeping and I woke you and I’m sorry I didn’t listen.
And Quinn laughs. She can't help it. Rachel is cute and she is tired and it's the easiest reaction she has, even if it increases the pounding in her head. "You didn't do it on purpose and it's not like I was having a nightmare." She sighs. "Are you okay, though? That was one hell of a spasm or whatever."
“It just got too quiet. We’re fine. You’re fine. I think maybe you should drink some water before trying to sleep again.”
Quinn groans but sits up anyway. However, she immediately regrets her decision, holding her head in her hands. "Nope. Nope. Bad idea."
“Back down, bunny.” Rachel leads her back to her lap. “I’ll get you hydrated in a bit.”
Quinn doesn't object as she lays back down. "This is why I don't do the sobering up thing." She grumbled, rubbing her temples.
“Yeah, well. It’s happening today Quinn. Since you refused my boozy coffee.” She giggles
"Oh, I could very easily fix it." Quinn grumbles, knowing a couple swigs from a bottle in the cabinet would delay the inevitable.
“Mm, I don’t see you leaving m lap anytime soon.” She whispers. “Am I right?”
And she knows Rachel is right. If she'd been looking to not sober up she'd have done it earlier. She wouldn't have let it go this long. "Maybe. "
“I’m not surprised I’m right.” She teases
Quinn doesn't know why she thought sobering up was a good idea. Maybe she thought it would let her sleep. As if the nightmares weren't worse sober. Maybe she'd just forgotten what it felt like. She doesn't know but it's too late to stop it. "You've always liked being right."
“I have but I also like being put in my place when I am wrong. No one ever does that.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow at that. "Well that's changed since high school."
“I’ve changed since high school. We both have:” She laughs
"Have I though? Have I really?" On some level she knows she has but it doesn't feel like it some days.
“I think you have.” Rachel promises, “a lot.”
Quinn sighs, closing her eyes. Something in the way Rachel says it makes her want to believe it. Maybe it's not that she doesn't but that she doesn't want to. Still wanting to pretend like everything that happened to her hadn't changed her. Hadn't effected her to that level. Hadn't happened.
"Bunny?" The nickname is odd. Not that she's against it, but it's still odd. She hasn't had someone call her anything of the sort in ages, if she's ever honestly had someone call her it at all.
“Second time I’ve called you Bunny. Keep up.”
"I know, but my head was spinning too much the first time." She grumbled. "Why though?"
“It just sounded right. I can stop if it would make you more comfortable.”
Quinn hummed a bit, her answer coming in the form of her turning her head, nuzzling under Rachel's shirt and placing a kiss there.
“I like that.” She whispers, ruffling the woman’s hair.
Quinn hums against Rachel's stomach, placing another couple kisses before pulling away and rolling back onto her back to look up at Rachel. "You're nice to kiss."
“It’s because I’m soft.” Rachel leans down to kiss Quinn’s forehead. “You’re soft too.”
"Girls are always softer." She mumbled, blushing a bit at the kiss to her forehead. "M'not."
“You are, just not as soft as me.” Rachel giggles.
Quinn shakes her head. She doesn't feel soft. She feels broken and hard. Like something to fear getting too close to.
“I think you are.” She kisses the top of her head. “You don’t have to.”
Quinn closes her eyes at the kiss to the top of her head. "Why?"
“Besides the fact that your skin is soft?” Rachel raises her eyebrows. “You’ve been pretty soft with me. Always opening yourself a little to me. I’ve been very grateful.”
"Oh." Her voice is quiet and her face is pink at Rachel's words. It wasn't something she did knowingly. She just did. That was the kind of effect Rachel always had on her.
Rachel just stays quiet, enjoying the moment. It’s all she really could do.
For a while, Quinn just lays there. However, the pounding in her head is increasing and she's feeling sick. Even though she doesn't want to, she sits up. Almost immediately she's doubled over, trying to get the pain to settle again, to keep from making herself sick. "There's Tylenol, in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Please."
“Okay, yeah.” Rachel is quick to her feet, going into the kitchen for water and then the bathroom for the Tylenol. She just grabs the bottle and is back to Quinn’s side. “Here.”
Quinn takes the bottle from her first, dumping three into her hand before grabbing the water glass from Rachel. She takes a few long sips of water before finally taking the pills. Curling into Rachel's side, she continues to drink her water. "I hate this feeling."
“I can’t imagine it is pleasant. I could get some pedialite and Gatorade and the brats diet too. Just to help your tummy settle and hydrate you so your head stops hurting.”
Quinn groans as Rachel speaks. While she appreciates the sentiment she's more aware that being left alone for long enough would see her hit a bottle. Why did that feel bad? "I'm only nauseous because of the pain. Once it lessens I'll be fine." Or so she hopes.
“Okay. I heard laying on your left side helps nauseous. We could try that.”
"Laying down in general, helps." She mumbles, finishing the glass of water before laying back down in Rachel's lap, curling around her the best she could given they were on a couch.
“Okay. We will lie here then. You’re in charge.”
"M'kay." She nuzzles against Rachel's stomach again. Kissing Rachel is the easiest distraction from the pain she can come up with.
Rachel removes a hand from Quinn’s hair so that she can start tapping her fingers together quietly in hopes of keeping herself calm. “I’ve only had one hangover in my life.” Rachel breathes out.
"Are you telling me that hangover in high school was it? I do not believe you." They'd all been hungover after that party and looking back she still couldn't believe Artie had brought a thermos of fucking Bloody Mary to school. It'd been a hell of a time and the fact Schue hadn't just killed them on the spot was a miracle.
“That party wasn’t supposed to happen that way.” Rachel sighs. “But I liked being drunk but I made sure to be prepared when I was finished and before as well. I planned my drinking out carefully after that night.”
"How was it supposed to happen, hmm?" She placed more kisses to Rachel's stomach, accidentally nipping at it when she tried to readjust a little. "M'sorry." She mumbled, immediately pressing a kiss to the place she'd bit.
“It may have been even worse. I mean I had drink tickets but people thought that was lame and then it just got really crazy.” Her body jumps in response of the bite. “It’s okay.”
Quinn chuckled as Rachel spoke. "It is lame for a party. Not so much for like a wedding, cos you don't want drunk assholes at your wedding." Quinn places more gentle kisses on the place.
“I agree. Young Rachel would disagree.” She scrunches her nose. “I like that. I’ve already said that.”
"Young Rachel also had a thing for Mr. Schue. It's easily accepted that young Rachel had very bad judgement." Quinn mumbles quietly against Rachel's stomach. "Mmhmm, s'why I'm doing it."
“He challenged me. Which I see now was not in the right ways.” She shrugs. “Don’t stop.”
"At all." Quinn agreed, varying where and how she kissed Rachel's stomach. "Don't plan on it." This time she nipped at Rachel's stomach on purpose. It's gentle and she immediately soothes it with her tongue. "What bout that?" She doesn't know why she wants to, it just makes her a different kind of happy. An in control kind of happy.
She’s feeling really confused. Trying to think through her reactions. Rachel tenses But lets out the softest moan. “That’s fine too.”
Quinn can feel that moan and pauses. It wasn't the reaction she was expecting. But she likes it. Which has her sitting up and moving to the other end of the couch. "Lay down for me?" She doesn't want to stay upright for long but she also figures she might as well let Rachel get a little more comfortable, while giving herself more access to places to kiss.
“You want me to lie down?” Rachel looks to her, looking for any sense of insincerity. “Okay. I can do that.” She carefully lies down, looking to Quinn nervously.
Quinn nods slowly at the question asked of her and as soon as Rachel is laying down she lows herself back down to lay on top of her. She's curled in such a way that her head on Rachel's stomach, one arm draped over hips, the other holding Rachel's shirt up. And then she's back to kissing, occasionally biting and nuzzling. She still isn't sure why she's doing it, but it makes her feel a certain way and all she knows is that it's not a bad thing.
“Can I please place my hands on your back? I just need them on something.” Rachel is whispering and she’s wiggling her fingers. “Your lips are soft.”
"Mhmm," she hums her approval against Rachel's stomach before nipping at it again. "Yeah?"
Rachel relaxes when her hands finally rest on her back. “Yes. You’re giving me goose bumps.”
Quinn giggles a bit. "Oh, really?" Her kisses start to move lower, towards the waistband of Rachel's pants, the biting becoming a bit more bold and frequent.
“Yes.” Rachel whispers, a bit whiny and unsure. But having thought of this before and the fact that this is what Quinn wants. She wants to so badly accept it. “Why?”
The whiny tone in Rachel's voice is a bit exciting to her and again, she doesn't know why. The question pauses her and she looks up at Rachel. "Why what?" She thinks she knows but there's a slew of foreign feelings going on and she isn't entirely clear and just wants to be sure.
“Why are you causing me to feel like this?” She shivers just slightly. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
"What?" The explanation is very confusing for Quinn and she stops what she's doing. "I can't understand if this is good or not." And she refuses to go further without knowing.
“It’s perfect.” Rachel says after a moment. “Please.”
With that confirmation she continues, biting and kissing along Rachel's waistband. Part of of her wants to go further and it surprises her. She hadn't felt any kind of lust since she'd miscarried. Since she started drinking. She pushes the thoughts down and continues to kiss and bite up and down the expanse of Rachel's stomach before her.
Rachel’s hands settle again on her bag, slowly starting to draw small circles on the woman’s back. “Okay?” The whine is back, unable to keep it away.
Quinn chuckles against Rachel's stomach at the whine she hears in her voice. "Never known you to whine unless you wanted something" She mumbles, the hand across her hips running a nail in circles just above her waistband. "So, what do you want?"
“I just want what you’re comfortable with. It just, feels really, really nice.”
"Lower?" She mumbles, hooking a finger under Rachel's waistband. Quinn looks up at Rachel, wondering if she'll get the go ahead.
Rachel takes a deep breath, but nods her head slowly. “Yes Quinn.” She flushes, fingers stilling on her back.
And like that, Quinn is re-positioning herself, staying as low as possible to keep her head from spinning too much. She pulls Rachel's pants down, gulping a bit at the prospect. With Rachel's pants pulled out of the way she bites her hip, much harder than she had been biting her stomach.
It’s bold. Bolder than she expected and she swallows down the nervous lump. But she helps by lifting up so her pants come off easier. But then she’s bitten and she has to close her eyes as she yelps.
The yelp surprises her and she immediately lets go. Quinn presses kisses and licks gently at the place she bit. "Sorry."
“No, I liked it. I’m okay.” Rachel promises, a bit embarrassed.
Quinn smiles, nuzzling Rachel's hip as she continues to places kisses on the spot. She's partially aware that it's going to leave a mark but Rachel likes it and that makes her do the exact same thing to the other hip.
Rachel anticipates it, but finds herself biting down on her lip anyways and let’s herself appreciate that she too likes things to be even.
This bite is held longer, with just a bit of sucking before she's once again pulling away to kiss and lick the mark, with just a bit of nuzzling. Once she's satisfied with her care of it, she moves lower, biting and nipping at Rachel's thigh as she rakes her nails down the other.
Rachel’s thighs instantly press together in response, but the noise that leaves her is one of pleasure and nothing else.
Quinn chuckles. "You like that?" She mutters, dragging her teeth down the top of Rachel's thigh.
“I do.” Rachel tells her, reminding herself she needs to tell her these things. “A lot Bunny.”
Quinn grins, swapping thighs to run her teeth down the other as well. Once again she bites and licks, her hand raking her nails down the thigh she'd just left. In a bold move she bites just on the inner part of Rachel's upper thigh, oh so close to her underwear. It's still a tentative bite, wanting to gauge the reaction before doing more.
Her hips buck just slightly and she tries to close her thighs again in hopes of some relief.
Quinn bites down harder as Rachel tries to close her thigh, hand slipping to hold them open ever so slightly. It's a gentle hold, one that could very easily be overpowered if Rachel truly wanted to. "Do you want something from me?"
“I do.” Rachel relaxes again as she closes her eyes. “I’m feeling rather naughty and I need to touch...”
"Need to touch where?" Quinn purred, nudging Rachel's underwear with her nose. "Here?"
Rachel’s hand abruptly moves from Quinn’s back to cover her mouth to muffle the desperate whimpering. “Yes.” And she’s trying to keep herself from pressing against her.
Quinn looks up at Rachel from between her legs, a little too aware of just what the sound of Rachel whimpering is doing to her. It's a foreign feeling but its also so familiar to her. "Don't quiet yourself for me." It's not quite a demand but is certainly a strong suggestion. She uses her hands to pull Rachel's legs apart just a bit more, nipping at the crotch of her underwear with a grin.
It takes a moment to register but once she does her hand leaves her mouth. “Are you teasing me on purpose?”
Quinn chuckles at Rachel's question. She runs her nose up the crotch of Rachel's underwear before looking at her. "Whatever gave you that idea?" There's amusement in her voice but she almost immediately presses her tongue into the area where she guesses Rachel's clit is.
Rachel nods. She never minded begging and being teased. “It’s not very nice of you.” And she moans at the slight pressure against her clit. “Hmmph.”
"I think you like it." Quinn growls, nipping once again at Rachel's crotch. She moves back up Rachel's body until her teeth find the waistband of her underwear. Lifting her head, she pulls the waistband away from Rachel's body before letting it go, eyes on Rachel's face the entire time, wanting to see any and all reactions.
“A lot.” Rachel whimpers before she’s gasping at the sudden space between them. But then there’s s slight sting where the elastic hits her and her toes curl. “Please touch me.”
She loves the reaction she gets from Rachel and she begins to kiss and bite her way up Rachel's body. Her hand does oblige Rachel, slipping past the crotch of her underwear to tease her clit. "Like this?"
Quinn just keeps getting further away and she whines just before the hand slips passed her underwear. “Yes Quinn.”
Something about the way Rachel whines tells Quinn that she's not quite giving Rachel what she wants. And she relishes in that. Knowing she has Rachel wanting something specific but keeping it from her, for now. There's a power she hasn't felt in a very, very long time. Her fingers tease through Rachel's folds, flicking over her clit as she finds herself at Rachel's neck. "May I?" She whispers against Rachel's ear, seeking permission and sounding far smaller than the rest of her actions portrayed, nuzzling her neck gently.
“Oh Bunny.” She wiggles to get closer to her hand. “Yes please. Please, please.” And she’s practically begging. “I want you to want me.”
Her response is instead to kiss Rachel. The sudden motion upwards also lending itself to her slipping a finger into Rachel. Quinn is a little shocked by her own actions, almost immediately returning her face to the crook of Rachel's neck.
“But I’d like to keep kissing you.” Rachel numbest breathing a bit heavy. “More, like that.” She pleads with her
Quinn is surprised by Rachel's words, entirely having thought she'd done something wrong. But after nuzzling Rachel's neck a bit, more for her own sake than anything, she returns to Rachel's lips. This kiss is soft and slow and sweet. Her finger works slowly back out and the back in, teasing.
Rachel just enjoys it, trying to memorize the feel of the other woman’s lips. The taste, the feel of her heartbeat, trying to let out her own sounds of pleasure out while maintaining the kissing.
Quinn ignores the part of herself that aches a way she hasn't since she was pregnant. It won't do her any good to acknowledge it now. Though in her ignoring she realizes the ache in her head is mostly gone, even if the ache elsewhere is entirely too strong. Even still, she kisses Rachel slow and soft. When she pulls away to breathe her head once again falls into the crook of Rachel's neck, nuzzling there. It's something that makes her feel safe, some part of her realizes, and with a few kisses to Rachel's neck she's biting down, taking the opportunity to speed up the finger inside Rachel.
She’s not surprised at the urgency, the meaning, and time given in every kiss. Every nuzzle. She whines more at the bite and her body lifts again, reacting to the intensity of it all. “You’re going to.” Rachel tried to breathe, calm herself. “It feels so good.” She finally managed
Quinn grins, teeth still on Rachel's neck. As she lets go, starting to lick and soothe the bite mark, she adds a second finger. Her thumb runs over Rachel's clit and an idea pops into her head. It's a control she's not sure Rachel will let her have but it's a shot worth taking. "I'm going to what? Make you cum?" She teases out against Rachel's neck as she kisses her way up to her ear. "What if I say you can't? Hmm? Will you do as I say?"
“I can’t control it.” She whispers, wiggling as best she can to somehow get away and get closer to her at the same time. “What if I don’t?”
Quinn chuckles a bit, nuzzling the side of Rachel's neck, just below her ear. "I know, but will you try anyway? Will you try to wait for me to tell you that you can?" She kissed Rachel's neck, soft and slow. "If you don't, you don't. And it's okay."
“I’ll do what I’m told.” She promises, moving so that she can kiss the girls arm. Just something to get her closer.
"Good girl." She purrs against Rachel's ear. "Can I call you that? Can Bunny call you her good girl?" She isn't sure why she referred to herself in the third person, much less as Bunny, but she isn't against it. Some part of her knows Bunny is just between them. Her pace between Rachel's legs picks up, even as she moves to use her knees to support herself so the hand that had been helping to support her can move up under Rachel's shirt.
Rachel tried to turn her head so the blush she feels rising to her cheeks is hidden. “Only if you really think I’m a good girl.” She whispers. She’s shivering beneath her touch. “You’re going to tease me if you touch me up here.”
Quinn smiles as Rachel tries to hide her blush. "You're good at doing what you're told." She kisses her way across Rachel's throat to the other side, letting out a chuckle. "All those years of having to do things on cue have trained you well, haven't they?" She bites down on Rachel's neck, even as her hand continues to inch it's way higher under her shirt. "Haven't you figure it out? I like teasing you." She nuzzles Rachel's neck, licking and kissing the skin she'd marked. "Do you want me to taste you?"
Rachel is just trying to quiet herself, starved of touch and lust and actually feeling good. She nods at the question. “It’s like I was trained to accept commands.”
Rachel’s thighs close in on Quinn’s hand, too much pleasure running through her at that mention. “What happens if I cum without permission?” She sniffles
Quinn hums. "That you were." She let's out a chuckle at the way Rachel's thighs close. "Is that a yes? Is that where you want my mouth?" She nuzzled Rachel's neck, her hand still going between her legs as the other finds Rachel's breast and gives it a squeeze. "We try again later. Practice makes perfect, after all." That's one thing Quinn can't do, punish. It's one step too far for her.
“Yes please. Please.” And her legs are open again and Quinn doesn’t seem to get angry at her question. “Then yes please, Bunny.”
Quinn smiles, pulling her hand out of Rachel and hooking her fingers through the crotch to actually pull then down her legs and out of the way. She sits back, taking the time to lick the slick off her fingers, moaning at the taste of Rachel on her fingers. And then she was running her tongue through Rachel's folds, moaning around her clit.
Rachel lifts herself up a bit to make it easier to get her underwear off. Her eyes are locked on Quinn, biting down hard on her lip at the sound that left her lips.
Her body relaxes as Quinn moans into her and her fingers start digging into the couch.
Quinn's hand took hold of Rachel's hip, as she slowly inserts her tongue into Rachel. Her pace is slow, every once in a while pulling out all the way to flick her tongue over Rachel's clit. She's looking up at Rachel through eyelashes and pink hair. She wants to see her come undone. The hand on Rachel's chest slowly starts to rake back down towards her hip.
It’s the unpredictability. The change between fingers and tongue. Rachel really is trying to control herself, her body tense and there’s tears stinging behind her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” And she unclenches, relaxing as she tumbled over the edge. Her hand goes to cover her mouth to quiet the crying.
Quinn ignores the apology as she feels Rachel come. Instead she focuses on helping her ride it out. When she pulls away, she cleans her face off the best she can and then pulls the hand away from Rachel's mouth, giving it a squeeze. She crawls back up Rachel's body and settles herself on top of her, kissing the tears away. "Hey, c'mon now, no need to cry." She nuzzles Rachel's cheek.
The minute Quinn is back beside her and this time does the nuzzling into her body, shaking just slightly. “but I didn’t let you control it.”
Quinn just nuzzles her cheek, kissing it softly. "And I said that was okay if you couldn't."
“I really wanted to.” She hmmphs, cupping her face. “Okay. It’s okay.”
Quinn smiles as Rachel cups her face, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on her lips. "Exactly. It's okay."
“It’s okay.” She murmurs back to Quinn, for both of them. “Can you keep kissing me?”
"Of course." And that's what she does, she keeps kissing Rachel. Because kissing is an excellent distraction. Kissing keeps her mind off the ache between her legs. Keeps her mind off the fact she hasn't had a drink in hours, that she's essentially sobering up. That she isn't numb for the first time in almost a year.
Rachel just clings to her, afraid if she lets go Quinn will run away. Or she will to be in charge of the leaving. “Mm, love you bunny.” Rachel murmurs against her shoulder and places little kisses to distract.
Quinn just keeps kissing. The words surprise her and she can't say it back, so she nuzzles into Rachel's neck. It's the closest thing she has. It's affection in it's purest form. The little kisses on her shoulder make her smile and she reaches for the remote on the coffee table. She pulls up Spotify and selects her and Duke's usual playlist. She lowers the volume, just needing that background noise, before she sets the remote back down.
The music calms hers, her rapid heart beat slowing down. She’s never actually felt this relaxed before within her body and even her mind isn’t racing. “I’m sleepy.”
Quinn is comfortable and she settles to just nuzzling Rachel's neck as she hums along quietly to the music. "Sleep then." She mumbles against Rachel's skin with a kiss.
“And you’re not going to stop kissing me?” She really lets her eyes flutter closed. “And hold my hand?”
"Not on purpose, no." Quinn knows she might drift off, but she'd try her best to stay awake. "Of course." She takes Rachel's hand, pressing a kiss to her palm before entwining their fingers.
Truthfully it’s the answer she wanted. She wants Quinn to get some sleep. “Thank you Bunny.”
"You're welcome." Quinn settles down, peppering kisses on Rachel's neck and shoulder, still humming along to the music. Just happy to be there in the moment.
Rachel lets out the tiniest little sighs and whimpers until they turn to soft little snores. She really lets herself get comfortable with Quinn.
Quinn continues to kiss and nuzzle Rachel, even as the sighs and whimpers turn to snores. But soon, even Quinn starts to slip into sleep. It's not deep, but it's enough.
Around lunch time, Duke comes home. It's not entirely unusual, as he does it to check on Quinn. What he doesn't expect is walking into the living room to the sight of Quinn asleep on top of Rachel, much less a half naked Rachel. "Oh my gods." He mutters before clearing is throat. "I don't want to know what happened, nor do I care, but for fucks sake put your pants back on!"
The sudden sound of Duke's voice wakes Quinn. She's quickly sat on her knees on the couch, breathing heavy. Looking up over her shoulder at the man and then down at Rachel she swallows. The reality of what she'd done crashes into her and she isn't sure how to respond.
Rachel doesn’t know much about what is going on or how long she’d been asleep but she does know that Quinn isn’t as close as she was. “Come back, bunny.”
Duke giggles, eyeing Quinn with a devilish grin. Quinn flips him off and shakes Rachel's leg. "It's time to wake up, Rach." Quinn's voice isn't steady. Duke sighs and heads into the kitchen.
Rachel groans, sitting up. She didn’t tend to nap and she doesn’t like being woken up. “Fine.” She looks to her noticing he didn’t look as comfortable as before. “What is it?”
Quinn sighs as Rachel sits up. "I don't know how you didn't hear it, but Duke is here. And he would like you to put your pants back on." She can't look at Rachel and she feels oddly small. The reality of everything that had happened has settled on her fully and she's starting to retreat into herself.
“Oh.” Rachel pales, reaching down to grab her underwear and pants. “I didn’t. I’m sorry.” She just stares at her. “Should I leave? Are you okay?”
"Yeah..." Quinn sighs, rubbing her thighs a little. "It's not your fault, I didn't know either." She was rocking a little as sits there. "Do you want to?" Quinn doesn't want her to leave. She'd been so comfortable. She was sober and comfortable and had slept. "I don't know. I'm sober."
“I don’t want to leave you.” Rachel whispers, reaching for her hand to squeeze. “Coffee or a snack?”
"Okay." Quinn smiles at Rachel. She squeezes back, not really wanting to get up and face Duke in the kitchen. "Snack." Her voice is still quiet and a little shaky, but she's stopped retreating into herself. For now.
“Okay.” Rachel nods slowly and goes into the kitchen. She grabs her cold coffee and a few of the treats, offering some up to Duke as well.
Quinn curls up on the couch where Rachel had been. Duke is making a sandwich when Rachel walks in the kitchen and he smiles. "I don't want to know what happened, but thank you. I haven't seen her that calm, ever. It's nice to know she can still get comfortable." He accepts the offer of the pastries, never one to deny sweet things.
She’s blushing, thankful for his words. “I’m glad she finds comfort in me.” Rachel murmurs and hands him a couple of the treats she had picked up. “Thank you for taking care of her.” And with that she’s back at Quinn’s side. “Hi.”
Duke simply nods in thanks as Rachel leaves. Quinn looks up when Rachel returns but doesn't actually make a move to sit up. "Hi." Her voice is quiet and she feels a little distant. "I don't like this." She mumbles, tapping the side of her head.
Rachel sets the things down and sits beside her. She doesn’t embrace her or get too close, but tries not to be too far either. “What can I do? More medicine? Water? A hug?”
"Just hold me?" Her voice is small and quiet. She doesn't want to think. She just wants to be able to distract herself. Do anything but feel the overwhelming sadness she's used booze to ignore. Drowning her grief, and herself. And finding the surface has just brought the storm with it.
Rachel is holding her almost instantly. Breathing in her scent and rubbing her back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Quinn buries her head in the crook of Rachel's neck, immediately starting to press gentle kisses to the bruised skin. "You're gonna need some serious concealer over the next like week if you plan on going out in public." Quinn mumbles as she nuzzles her.
“I don’t have plans. Should I care that they are there?” Rachel just pulls her closer. “I don’t.”
"I don't know, some people don't like getting asked about hickies. Particularly single people." Quinn shrugs. She nuzzles in a little harder, trying to focus on the feeling. However, with the added pressure, her nose ring tickles the inside of her nose and she's having to pull away to sneeze.
“You make a cute sound when you sneeze.” Rachel giggles. “Did the nose ring hurt?”
Quinn blushes, ducking her head. "Not really, no. At least not at first. I couldn't rub my nose for ages without wincing while it was healing."
“That sounds annoying.” Rachel rubs her back. “You pull it off well.”
"No worse than the first time." Quinn shrugs a bit. She rested her head back in the crook of Rachel's neck, once again nuzzling. "You think so?"
“Right. And that crazy tattoo?” Her eyebrows raise a bit, playfully. “I do. I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, even.”
"Has been covered up. And isn't my only one." Quinn explains, nuzzling at Rachel's neck. She catches sight of Duke leaving but ignores him. "Why?"
“One day I would love the chance to see them.” Rachel says gently as she offers a wave to Duke as he leaves the apartment. “You’ve always been enchanting to me Quinn. Always so stunning and beautiful inside and out. I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking of you that way.”
"Maybe, yeah." Quinn nuzzles against Rachel's neck. She also feels the heat rise to her cheeks as Rachel speaks. Sure, she knew she fit a certain standard of beauty, but something about hearing Rachel explain it was surprising to her. She places a kiss to the side of Rachel's neck. "Thank you."
“No pressure.” Rachel says with a giggle. She shivers a bit at the kiss and just nods. “Always Bunny.”
"I really don't like being sober, but you're a very nice distraction." Quinn mumbles as she keeps kissing Rachel's neck.
“I’ll be your distraction forever if that will help.”
"You sound like you're agreeing to enable me." She mumbled, knowing she'd go from booze to Rachel and that didn't exactly sound healthy either.
“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I just like your attention.”
Quinn chuckles a bit against Rachel's neck. "To be sober is to need distractions." She clarifies. "So if you're my distraction I'd be sober but not dealing."
“I want to help you deal.” She whispers
"I don't know how to do that." She admits, resting her forehead on Rachel's shoulder. "I don't know how to talk about what happened."
“We take our time. Little by little. And I’ll just be here to hold your hand and snuggles and kisses.”
Quinn sighs. "Her name was Nora Grace." She admitted quietly with a kiss to Rachel's shoulder, feeling infinitely lighter, even as the emotion felt heavy on her chest.
Rachel just nods slowly, understanding as best she can. “That’s a beautiful name Quinn.”
"I was almost five months. She's just started being properly active." And so had Finn. They'd both been so active. Nora had been more forward, whereas Finn had been more internal. But she'd just started telling their reactions apart. And then things had fallen apart. "I'd waited to tell Puck until I was absolutely sure. He made me regret telling him."
“Because he didn’t. I mean...” Her nose scrunches up. “What did he do?” She pulls Quinn in closer.
"When?" The question fell from her lips and she sighs. "When he left? Or before? He did so much. So- so much."
“He left?” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Did he hurt you?”
"Worst part is, his leaving was the best thing he could have done for me. As much as I fucking hated the idea of going through pregnancy alone, I knew I'd be better off. And I was just trying to get back on my feet when I first ghosted. I just needed to come to terms with it all. Figured I'd take a couple months for myself." She nuzzles her face into Rachel's neck. "Yes."
Rachel is keeping herself calm but on the inside she’s absolutely raging. “You didn’t deserve that. You’re too good for him.”
"And yet I stayed with him, for years. The best parts were when he was deployed and I was alone. How fucking shitty is that?" Her breathing catches in her chest and instead of biting her lip, she bites Rachel's neck.
Rachel whines, “You wanted it to work. It’s not a flaw. You’re human.”
"I never understood how my mother could stay with Russell until I was with Puck."
“I don’t think it’s easy being in that dynamic to know how to get out or how to move on. You did what you could.”
"I had decided I might leave him anyway. Because I couldn't see myself raising a family with him but every time I'd thought about leaving, before then... It was easier to just give in and give him what he wanted."
“I’m sure it was easier. I don’t blame you, for anything that happened. Maybe one day you’ll get to a place you can see that for yourself.”
"I should have fucking left after the first time." Quinn bit down on Rachel's neck. It's not a hard bite, but she holds it, breathing heavily through her nose, trying to calm herself down.
“The first time?” Rachel just lets out the slightest whine in response to the contact. She likes it.
She let go of Rachel's neck, licking and nuzzling the bite mark. "Well, no, because the first time was in high school. But, the first time after we'd started dating." It had taken Quinn a long time to properly admit what Puck had done to her in high school had been force, but once she had, it made way too much sense.
Rachel nods, trying not to bump her. “I’m sorry that I didn’t know or if I ever made you feel like I was on his side.”
"I didn't realize it, or acknowledge it, for a very long time. I could't." Quinn's voice is quiet as she nuzzles Rachel's neck. "What I did earlier... before we fell asleep..."
“But you’re opening yourself. You’re doing everything right.” Rachel puts a hand on her back. “You regret it...”
"Am I? I don't feel like I am." Quinn sighs. "No... I just feel like I need to be sorry for it."
“I think you have so much.” Rachel whispers. “You don’t have to be sorry about it.”
"Okay." She nuzzles against Rachel's skin. "Are you sure? I mean I started doing stuff and..."
“It was perfect Quinn. I thought you were perfect.” Rachel sighs happily.
She nipped a bit at Rachel's neck. "You thought I was perfect?"
“I thought you were perfect, bunny.” Rachel repeats.
"Am I your bunny?" Quinn asks as she nuzzles Rachel's neck again, licking a bit as she does so.
“I’d like for you to be my bunny.” Rachel whimpers.
"What would that entail?" She asks quietly.
“I just always get to be nuzzled by you and hold you.”
Quinn hums in approval at that. "Yeah? What about nibbling?" She asks, doing just that against Rachel's neck.
“It’s just a bonus when you feel like nibbling.” Rachel takes a heavy breath. “And biting...”
Quinn hums against Rachel's neck, biting down as Rachel mentions that she likes it. "If anyone asks, what'll you tell them?"
“Asks me what?” Rachel’s eyes close. “Mmmph.”
"Who did all this to your neck." She drags her tongue over the forming bruises and bite marks, connecting them.
“Why is it anyone’s business? What would you like for me to tell them?”
"I'm not saying it is, but we know they're bound to ask anyway." She hums, still lazily running her tongue across the marks. "I don't know."
“I don’t care. I like it. I like that you made them. I like how it feels when you make them.”
Quinn smiles against Rachel's neck, licking her way up to Rachel's ear. "You like what I do to you?" She whispers.
“I think I’m obsessed.” Rachel bites down on her lip. “I don’t want it to ever stop.”
She chuckles, nuzzling the area around her ear. "Maybe I won't. I mean, you said you don't have plans. I could, except y'know, work." She teases, dragging her teeth down her neck.
“I’ll never tell you to stop.” Rachel admits.
Quinn pulls back at that. "You would if you needed me to, right, though?"
“Yes, Bunny.” Rachel gasps ya the loss of contact. “I know you would stop.”
"Okay." Quinn nods before leaning in and kissing Rachel. "If I asked you to touch me, would you?" She wants to know because she still aches there. It'd started creeping up on her again and the more she made her mark on Rachel, the more it'd come back. And it was getting increasingly harder to ignore.
“I would love to touch you, so long as you could tell me no of you needed.”
"I always said no." She admits quietly, resting her forehead on Rachel's.
“I will listen to that.” Rachel whispers. “I will respect you and your word.”
Quinn closes her eyes for a moment before kissing Rachel again. "Touch me. Please."
“Where?” Rachel starts with fingers running over her cheek and just teasing over her lips.
Quinn gently bites her lip. "Down." She whimpers, not entirely sure she can bring herself to say exactly where. She hasn't had any desire for sex in ages and yet she wants it now, so much more than she ever expected.
Rachel just nods, leaning down to kiss her as hand travels down and across her chest. She sneaks a hand under the fabric and kneads her breasts tenderly before swiping a thumb over her nipples. “Can you sit up for me, Bunny?”
Quinn gasps at the feeling of Rachel's hand on her breasts, moaning ever so slightly. She quickly does as is asked of her, bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“I’m going to touch you now.” She purrs, getting between her legs. “If you’ll let me. I’d like to make you come.” And she lets s finger run through her folds.
Quinn sucks in a breath at Rachel's words. A moan escapes her lips at the feeling of Rachel's finger running through her folds. "Oh God." She hasn't felt this since the last time she'd gotten herself off while pregnant and after almost a year of not feeling anything, it's almost too much.
“Should I keep going?” Rachel moves up to brush over her clit because pausing.
"Fuck," she gasped as Rachel brushes her clit, head falling back. "Please," she whines.
Rachel can’t help but smile, peppering kissing along her face and neck as she teases her finger inside her before swiping the wetness over her clit and she does that slow at first and then quickening a bit. “Can I put two fingers inside you?”
Quinn can't help but moan, hips rolling into Rachel's hand. "Fuck. Please." She doesn't reckon she'll last too incredibly long, everything feels so extreme after so long. But lord does it feel good.
Rachel feels like she’s on fire as she begins moving two fingers inside her, calculated and teasing before she’s really moving inside her, other hand moving to circle her clit. “You feel so good around my fingers.”
Even though she knows it's coming, she can't stop herself from moaning as her hips buck into Rachel's hand. One of her hands finds Rachel's hair, nails scraping across her scalp. "Been so long," she mutters.
“I wanna feel you come. You deserve it.” And Rachel is moaning at the fingers in her hair as she begins to really fuck her with her fingers. “Come for me Bunny,”
Quinn isn't sure she believes what Rachel says but that doesn't stop her from moaning and pulling at Rachel's hair. The increased pace drives her wild, rolling her hips in an almost futile attempt to keep pace, something she had done when she was with Puck just to get something out of it, but her hips still at Rachel's words. And in no time, Rachel is driving her over the edge. "Oh, oh God."
Rachel takes it all in. The way she moves. The sounds. All of the feelings that being let in like this has provided. “Thats it Bunny. Feel good. Let yourself feel good.” And she moves faster a little more intensely in hopes to give her the most pleasure she can possibly have.
Quinn almost feels like she's going to pass out because of the sheer amount of pleasure. It's been so long since someone else has put her first, made what she feels a priority. And just when she thinks she'll start to come down the increased pace takes her back up and over. She's having to remind herself to breathe through it which just seems to make her feel more. "Okay," she breathes out, unsure exactly what she means by it.
Rachel swipes her hand on Quinn’s thigh before leaning in to kiss her gently. “Was that okay? Are you okay? You feel incredible falling apart like that.”
Quinn has to catch her breath as Rachel pulls out of her. She kisses Rachel back, moving to lay down on the couch, pulling Rachel down on top of her. "You were perfect." She mutters.
Rachel just giggles, missing her face and nuzzling her. “You were.”
Quinn wraps her arms around Rachel's waist, giggling a bit as Rachel nuzzles her. "Happy bunny." She mumbles sleepily, the the overwhelming expanse of emotion and sensations having finally caught up to her.
“I like a happy bunny.” Rachel whispers, letting herself relax above her. “Lets nap.”
Quinn just hums at Rachel's words, a little surprised by how comfortable she is with Rachel on top of her. She's not sure it'll stay that way, should she fall into a deeper sleep than she had earlier, but she didn't have the energy to not risk it.
“I’m just going to hold you and be here.” Rachel murmurs.
What: Magda decides to pop by to see Rosy, learns a lot of things she didn’t know.
Triggers: pregnancy
Notes: oh my god Colleen wasn’t supposed to be in this, this much
Magda was excited to see the new house, even if she wasn't exactly thrilled that Rosy had been working on it alone. The Kennedy women were stubborn so she supposed she wasn't all that surprised. The pick up truck with PA plates sitting outside her sister's place was a bit odd but she didn't think too much of it. Knocking on the front door she found it was unlocked. However, before she managed to call out that she was there, a figure appeared. A figure that was definitely not her sister.
"You're too white to be my sister." Right, yes, state the obvious, this solves everything. The figure before her goes bright red under Magda's gaze. And there is a lot to go visibly red, as the woman is wearing nothing more than a sports bra and a pair of sleep shorts, holding a paintbrush and, were those hickies?
"Rosy! Your sister's here!" And like that the woman was off and up the stairs, leaving Magda standing in the front hall entirely confused. Except she was pretty sure that was Breeze's older sister. Well, no, that actually just made it worse.
Rosy let out a laugh, “Very funny, Colly.” She hadn’t heard anyone at the door but the sound of footsteps rushing up the stairs had her walking out in the hallway. Sure enough, there stood her baby sister looking thoroughly confused. “If I’d know you were coming I might’ve gotten dressed,” she chuckled. In fairness, it wasn’t the first time Magda had seen her in just underwear and t-shirt. “How was France? Did you bore Cassie to death with all the museums?”
Magda blinked a bit, rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. "So that was Breeze's older sister... Good to know, I think." She muttered to herself. Not that it explained anything but she figured there were some answers she didn't want the details to. "It was wonderful and no we didn't. She enjoyed herself just as Conall and I did. And it wasn't all museums all the time. We did things she liked as well."
“I didn’t realise you’d met Colly,” Rosy commented, slightly surprised. “I can’t wait to hear all about it,” she smiled before moving to hug her sister, “I missed you guys.”
"If watching a half naked woman go bright red before running off can be considered meeting..." Magda shrugged, hugging Rosy back with a laugh. "We've missed you too. Though I'm starting to think you've had a more interesting time."
“You said I should have help with getting this place ready, you never mentioned a uniform,” Rosy replied with amusement. “If by interesting you’re referring to one of the peas now abusing my insides when the mood strikes them, then it’s being very interesting indeed.”
Magda eyed Rosy for a few moments, wondering if she truly wants to question the fact she'd seen hickies on Colleen's skin. "I was referring more to the hickey covered woman upstairs, because I didn't know about the fact they're kicking. When did that happen?!" Magda is little upset she missed it, but can't be more excited about the news.
Colleen appears at the top of the stairs. "Do you want me to get that can of paint ready you refused to let me near or? Also, do you know where I left my candy canes? They're not in my bag."
Rosy shrugged at the mention of comments, this wasn’t a conversation she was going to be having when the woman in question was in the same building. “One of them is kicking,” she gently corrected, “decided to make their presence felt on Saturday while I was at lunch,” she smiled her hands instinctively going to her bump. She was going to continue with how she thought it was her stubborn little pea that wouldn’t show their face at the 19 week scan but Colleen’s voice echoed down the stairs.
“It’s ok, Colly, I’m gonna bring Mags up to the peas room now,” she called back, nodding toward the stairs for her sister to follow her up. “Last time I saw them was when we were painting the bedroom but if not there’s a bag in the kitchen behind the lemons.” As she began to climb the stairs she threw over her shoulder to Magda, “The peas are crazy obsessed with lemons and pickles, you missed that while you were away.”
"That's awesome. Were you alone, or?" Her eyes wandered up to the stairs as Colleen called down. Magda still couldn't figure out when the pair met, much less how they'd ended up where they were now. She made a mental note to see about getting the information out of her sister later.
"Okay!" Colleen called back, retreating away from the stairs and towards the bedroom. "Thanks!"
And if Magda hadn't known any better she would have sworn she'd heard the word 'babe' follow, but pushed it out of her head. Instead she followed Rosy up the stairs. "Of all the things they could have you wanting. " She chuckled. "So, what is this about a paint can you wouldn't let her near?"
Rosy winced internally at the question, she felt so much guilt that her sister hadn’t been the first one to feel her peas kick but she’d been so excited that she got caught up in the moment. “I was at lunch with Colly,” she admitted a little sheepishly.
A soft chuckle left her lips as she uttered to herself, “I swear she’s gonna turn into a candy cane.”
Walking into the what would be the nursery, “I know. I fucking hate pickles,” She griped. “You might’ve missed one of the peas deciding to kick my insides,” she grabbed the pot with a flat head screw driver, “but I wanted your opinion on the colour for the peas room.” She offered the pot of paint and screwdriver to her sister, “Your opinion matters most, you are their aunt after all.”
"Oh?" Well that was interesting. "I'm glad you weren't alone, at the very least. And she seems to be treating you well." Magda grinned, following her sister into the nursery. Magda is surprised when she's handed a can of paint that has had the labels removed. But she takes it and the screwdriver and kneels on the floor. "Matters most, huh?" She knew it would be around this time that Rosy was given the option to know what sex the twins were and it made her curious if that's what this was. She worked to pop the lid and opened it. Flipping the lid over she was met with a lovely shade of blue paint. Grinning, Magda looked up at Rosy. "Does this mean what I think it does?"
Rosy rolled her eyes at her sisters comment about Colleen, "I'm ignoring you." She watched as Magda knelt on the floor, "I'm genuinely offended that you've questioned that." She watched on nervously as the shade of blue was revealed until her sister looked up with a huge smile on her face. "Yep," she grinned, "you're getting a couple of nephews!"
Magda chuckles when Rosy says she's ignoring her. Just proved some point. Not that Magda was entirely sure what that point was, of course. "Just don't tell mammy that or she'll have a fit." Magda retorted as she set the lid back on the can and got to her feet, pulling her sister into a hug. "Congrats, you really are going to be outnumbered." She wipes a spot of paint off her hand onto Rosy's arm, catching sight of Colleen in the doorway. The woman had a shirt on and a candy cane in her mouth, far less red than she had been before. "You know, you didn't have to get dressed on my behalf, Rosy didn't." Colleen just seemed to blush at that. "Does she always end up that color? Are you sure she's not already a candy cane?"Magda couldn't help but ask Rosy, as it seemed she wasn't likely to get an answer from the red figure slowly aiming to back out of the doorway.
"Mammy knows I love her," she laughed, "besides, I'm gonna Skype with her later." Rosy nodded, "I really, really am." Magda's words had her turning to the doorway, a small frown marring her features at the now clothed woman that stood there. "Colly, is your little sis as mean to guests as mine is?" she smirked, teasing her sister before shrugging, "red's a good colour on her." Her face turned down to her stomach, "Seriously, boy?" she beamed, she'd been waiting until she'd told Magda before referring to her sons as anything other than her little peas.
Magda chuckled a bit. And then she was rolling her eyes and sticking out her tongue, though she did feel sort of bad, as it seemed all Colleen did was turn even more red and vacate the doorway, heading down the stairs. "I'll agree, but is she okay? I don't think I've ever seen someone go that red and stay that way." There was a hint of concern in Magda's voice but she was pulled away by Rosy speaking again. "Active is he?"
Rosy shook her head with an eye roll at her sister before a worried look crossed her face. She knew that what she was about to do was just going to make her proper catch up with her sister a pain in the arse but she couldn't not make sure Colleen was ok. "I'm gonna go make sure she's ok," she replied before leaving the room.
Rosy peaked her head in the bedroom before she heard a sound in the kitchen. "Hey," she greeted softly as she entered the kitchen. She walked over to where Colleen was at the counter and gently wrapped her arms around her from behind, "You ok?"
Magda just nodded as Rosy said she was going to check on Colleen, a knot forming in the pit of her stomach. She felt bad, like really bad. It hadn't been on purpose and now she worried she'd gone too far. So, she does what any interested little sister would do, she follows Rosy, hiding just out of sight with a clear view of the pair through the doorway.
Colleen had gone down to the kitchen in attempts to calm down. She'd all but chewed through the candy cane in her mouth and was getting herself a drink, yet another candy cane in her mouth, when she felt Rosy come up behind her. For a few moments she just leaned back against Rosy. "Yeah, just feeling a little out of place. I wasn't expecting her to say what she did and on top of what she'd already seen..." Colleen sighed. "Just feeling a little exposed." Removing the candy cane from her mouth, Colleen turns, wrapping her arms around Rosy's neck and kissing her.
"You don't need to feel out of place, ok?" Rosy soothed, "I'm sorry that she caught you on the hop, but you've nothing to be embarrassed about, sweet girl. She smiled into the kiss, pulling back slightly to mumble against Colleen's lips, "Now you do taste like candy canes." She brought a hand up to Colleen's face, her thumb gently stroking a still warm cheek, "My very own candy girl."
"Okay." She says with a small nod before giggling as Rosy says she tasted like candy canes. "Eating like one in a half in a short amount of time will do that." She mumbles, leaning into the hand on her cheek. And then she's blushing again, doing her best not to duck and hide.
Magda feels entirely like she has seen something she shouldn't. Rosy isn't usually soft. Not like this. And she finds herself quietly as possible retreating back upstairs.
"That, or you really are beginning to turn into a candy cane," Rosy teased lightly. She saw the way Colleen's head dipped slightly as though she was ready to hide and Rosy pressed a sweet kiss to candy caned lips. "So I think we should get out of here for a little bit," she continued softly, "I'm going to go make arrangements to catch up with Mags properly another day and then I'm taking you out, ok?"
Colleen giggled. "Maybe she's right? Maybe I already am one." She sighs into the kiss, tilting her head a bit as Rosy speaks. "Why?" It's not that she's against it, she's not. But Magda is Rosy's sister and it's obvious they want to catch up. That Colleen is the obvious third in this. She doesn't understand why Rosy would put off catching up with Magda, for her.
"Then you're cutest candy cane there's ever been," Rosy smiled. "Because we both need to get out of this house for a bit?" She replied with fake confusion before laughing lightly, "I can catch up with Mags another time. You're only here for a few more days." She gave a little shrug, "Besides, once the Irish get to talking, there's no shutting us up. We'd start now and still be talking when it's time for you to leave."
Colleen isn't sure what to say as Rosy speaks. It makes sense but still feels weird to her. That Rosy would choose her over her sister. Sure, they had limited time, but from what she'd gathered, Rosy hadn't seen Magda in at least a month. "Are you sure? I mean, I can go check on Capaldi or even just keep working, You don't need to put off catching up with her just for me.
Rosy pressed another kiss to Colleen's lips, "I'm absolutely positive." Her mind was made up, besides she loved her sister but she knew an intense grilling was headed her way and she'd rather keep to it one grilling that a grilling now and another once Colleen had left. "Can't have people thinking I'm a slave driver that never feeds you now, can I?" she joked.
She nods a bit, laughing as she pulls away. Mostly just enough to pop her candy cane back in her mouth, carefully licking her slightly sticky fingers. "I'm a big girl, volunteering her time, aren't I?"
Rosy diverted her gaze as Colleen licked her fingers, those thoughts would not be helpful right now. "Still, it'd be rude of me not to show you how appreciative I am of you volunteering your time."
Colleen chuckles a bit. "And here I thought you were already doing that." She exposed her neck briefly for emphasis before kissing Rosy again. "I'm gonna go freshen up while you figure out the sister situation." And like that she was wiggling free of Rosy's grasp and bounding up the stairs, ignoring the blush that crept up the back of her neck when she spotted an apologetic looking Magda leaning in the doorway to the nursery.
"And I plan to keep doing that," Rosy chuckled back. The kiss was all too brief and before she knew it, Colleen had left her arms and was on her way up the stairs. 'I hate for you to go, but I love to watch you leave' Rosy thought to herself as she unabashedly eyed Colleen's ass before it completely vanished from her sight. She headed back upstairs to the nursery, spotting Magda in the doorway, "You make an excellent door."
Magda chuckles as Rosy returned. "Well I got bored, decided I'd try being something else. The door worked." She smiled. "She's alright, I take it?" Magda angled toward the door to the bedroom with her head.
"As good a door you make, I think I prefer you as Maid Marian," Rosy smiled back, silently letting her sister know that she wasn't mad at her. "Yeah, she's good. She's getting freshened up before we go get some grub," she continued, "she's been working her arse off around here so I figured the least I could do is take her for a proper meal. I was thinking maybe I could come over at the weekend?" she suggested. "We could have a proper catch up then and you can tell me all about your travels and I'll get to see Conall, I missed the boy."
Magda grinned with a chuckle. "I prefer me as myself as well."She nodded a bit as Rosy spoke. The idea Rosy was choosing to care for Colleen over a catch up was telling but exactly of what, well, Magda would find out in time, she was sure. "That'd be wonderful, I'm sure Conall has loads to tell you, just as I do. Sunday? I mean, just come over early, say after breakfast but before lunch and then just stay through dinner? Should give us enough time, yeah?"
"Sunday it is," Rosy nodded. Oh she knew she was going to get the Spanish inquisition when her sister mentioned staying through dinner but that didn't stop her from poking fun, "What'd you travel the world and not tell me about it?"
"The way Conall talks about it we might as well have. Besides it's not just what has gone on with me that we have to catch up." She stands up and moves from the doorway. Figuring it was about time she actually took her leave. "Well, I'll see you on Sunday. Yeah?"
Rosy shook her head, "You're impossible sometimes, you know that?" She wrapped her arms around her sister, "Sunday. I'll bring the lemons and pickles," she laughed.
"Only sometimes?" She laughed, hugging Rosy tight. "Good, I'll see you then. Tell Colleen I'm sorry, will you? I didn't mean to upset her or anything." She'd normally say it herself but she had a feeling it might just be better coming from Rosy.
"I was trying to be nice," Rosy shot back playfully. "I will. Don't worry, ok? You just caught her on the hop, I'll make sure she knows you were just being you and not being a bitch," she promised.
"Oh? Since when?" She teased with a laugh. "Thank you. I'll see you Sunday." And like that she was headed down the stairs, unaware that Colleen had been listening through the door.
"Maybe you were right about me and sarcasm after all." Colleen's voice was quiet as she made her presence in the hallway known. "She seems really nice, though."
Rosy was slightly relieved that her sister was more than happy to see herself out. The constant upping and downing of the stairs were beginning to take their toll.
"Just another lesson for me to teach," Rosy replied as she made her way out into the hall. "Mags is honestly amazing. I'm lucky to have her as my sister," she admitted. She made her way to Colleen and wrapped her arms her, "She wants you to know she's sorry for upsetting you. I'm sorry that she caught you off guard like that. If I'd known she was coming I would've let you know, but I guess she's used to me just being me and didn't think anyone else would be here," she offered as explanation. "For the record though," she pressed a sweet kiss to Colleen's lips, "I'm glad that you are here."
"I guess so." Colleen didn't usually have too much issue with understanding sarcasm, or so she thought. But there was definitely something difficult to track in how Rosy and Magda used it. Colleen met Rosy halfway, happily wrapping her arms around Rosy to pull her just that little bit closer. "I know, I heard. It's okay, it happens, right?" Colleen kisses her back, resting her forehead on Rosy's for a bit. "You are?"
"You're at unfair advantage," Rosy smiled softly, "British sarcasm is very different from American." It was true, she had had her fair share of misunderstandings because someone hadn't understood that she was being sarcastic and every time it'd happened it had been with an American. "It does but I'm sorry it." A soft, genuine smile graced Rosy's features at the way Colleen rest her forehead against her own, "I am."
Colleen nodded a bit. "It's a dry wit." She mumbled, pressing another kiss to Rosy's lips. "No need to be sorry." Colleen can't help but return the smile. "I should let you go put on pants if we're leaving the house, huh?"
Rosy's eyes darted downwards and she chuckled, "I suppose that would be an idea, don't want to frighten anyone."
"It's New York I can easily say they've seen worse." She chuckles. "But yes, go get dressed so we can go eat." Colleen gives Rosy's ass a squeeze before stepping away.
"I'd hope so," Rosy replied with a soft chuckle. "You know, Dr. Pep," she laughed, "I'm beginning to think you have a thing for my arse," and with that she walked to the bedroom to find the pair of pants she'd arrived with.
What: Eleanor comes to see Shea after being attacked
Warnings: none really it’s just short and fluffy
Eleanor didn’t want to go home and she didn’t want to see Shea either. Have her see what she looked like. But she wants to be near her for her sake and for Shea’s. She lets herself in and makes her way to the bedroom, just silently climbing into the bed and big spoons Shea.
Shea was going stir crazy and that was compounded by the worry she felt for Eleanor. She was a little shocked that Eleanor had asked to come over, but she wasn't about to argue it, because she needed to see how the other was for herself. Curled up, half asleep, is how Shea was when she felt the body against her back. Rolling over, she nestled into Eleanor's arms, gently tangling her legs with hers. "Princess," she mutters against Eleanor's neck. "Missed you."
“I missed you too.” And Eleanor kisses her cheek just slightly. “I don’t want to leave your bed, ever. Can you make that happen?”
Shea nuzzled against Eleanor. "I can try? I feel like someone would come looking for you, though."
“Maybe not.” And then she changes the subject. “How’s your head? Can I play with your hair without hurting you.”
"Stupid people." Shea grumbled. "Sure, it should be fine, princess."
Eleanor happily starts running her fingers through her hair. “I really missed you. Yearned for you even.”
Shea hums happily as Eleanor plays with her hair. "I missed you too, Princess. You had me scared, you know that?"
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted you so badly. To save me.”
"I wish I could have. I would have." Shea leans in and kisses her. "What can I do now?"
“Just let me lie here with you. Okay?”
"Of course, baby. For as long as you want."
Eleanor just continues playing with Shea’s hair, humming quietly. “One day we’re going to run away from here, together.”
"I hope so."
“I know so.”
"I can't wait. And if you can get away from them and just to me..." Shea sighs. "I just want to see you safe and away from them."
“I don’t feel safe anywhere.” She sighs. “Only with you.”
What: What starts as a business dinner turns into a very interesting night for Quinn and Rachel
Warnings: Eating Disorder talk, self harm, almost sexy times with BDSM elements. It’s not safe for work babes.
Quinn really wasn't sure what he was getting himself into. With every weird thing going on with Rachel, applying to work for her father was possibly the worst idea he'd ever followed through on. However, he sucked it up. He needed a day job and gay man was far less likely to care that he was trans. Unfortunately, this particular man was also Rachel's father and seemed, was shocked the right word, to be getting a job application from him. The man had been kind, inviting Quinn over for dinner. While he wasn't sure if this had anything to do with who he was or just the job, Quinn didn't know, but he got all dressed up anyway. It was the best he had, that also wasn't so formal he'd feel smothered. He'd debated not packing, but when looking at himself in the mirror without it was too much.
Five minutes before he'd agreed to be at the Berry residence, Quinn pulled up on his motorcycle. He took the fact he was early to calm his nerves and fix his hair before making his way up to the door. Squaring his shoulders, helmet under his arm, he knocked on the door. All he knew was that this was bound to be awkward and he really hoped his past wasn't brought up too much at dinner.
“Go answer the door for him honey.” Her dad calls out from the dining room as he set the table.
Rachel just huffs, rolling her eyes but places a smile on despite how sick she feels about all of this. How irritating her fathers think her playing hostess was the best idea considering who is behind the door.
“Welcome.” Rachel says as she opens the door, unable to stop herself from biting her lip. “It’s really nice to see you.” She admits before opening the door wider for him to step inside.
Quinn straightens up just a bit more as the door starts to open, a small smile on his face when he hears who is doing it. It spreads almost into a smirk when he sees Rachel bite her lip. "The pleasure is mine." His voice is soft and as he steps across the threshold, he leans in and places a gentle kiss to her cheek. "As requested." He whispers in her ear before pulling away. "Anywhere in particular I can put my helmet?"
Rachel shivers, there’s no gruffness to his voice but it still sounds seductive to her. “Of course it is.” She squeaks out before taking the helmet one hand holding it and the other touching at her cheek. “My dad invited some coworkers. You’re really going to get the whole performance. Consider yourself lucky.” Rachel removes her hand from her cheek and puts the helmet in the hallway closet. “I didn’t know you ride.”
Quinn laughs a bit at the way Rachel reacts, a smile still on is face. His eyebrow raised, in typical Fabray style at the mention of coworkers. "Is that so? Are we sure that's lucky?" He teases, hands sliding into his pockets as he looks around. "Last time I was in this house we got drunk in the basement." His voice was quiet, mostly to himself. "Oh, yeah. When my old car finally gave out, I got the bike."
“My dad puts on quite the show and my voice is something special. You know half of that is true.” She’s surprised it feels so easy. “That’s exactly what will happen this evening. I don’t last long.” She used to but now she had to get away from the food. “Is it fun?”
"That your voice certainly is. And I doubt you're lying about the show." He smiled and he looked at Rachel. "Getting drunk or?" Quinn did his best to limit how often he got drunk and he never touched wine. Which was typically the kind of drink served at any sort of house event, that wasn't designated as a party. Well, no, he'd been to a few house parties that were definitely on the formal side and wine was the only alcohol served. "Yeah, I enjoy it. It's not really practical for the winter months but I've got a car for that."
“Usually.” Rachel nods, not planning on elaborating. “We’ve made mojitos if those interest you. Mango, pomegranate, and regular.” She shakes her head. “I still don’t really drive. But hopefully I won’t have to soon.”
"I think I can handle a mojito or two, though should I be worried my new possible boss is possibly trying to get me drunk?"He chuckled a bit, nodding as Rachel spoke. "I hope it goes well for you. I'm sure you're itching to get out of this town for good. You deserve to."
“He May have ulterior motive. I won’t disclose them. It depends on me. But he does believe you’ll be a hard worker. I know that you will be.” Rachel smiles. “I leave for my audition next week.”
"If he's trying to get me to sing he will be sorely disappointed, Quinn Fabray does not sing anymore." Quinn chuckled as he moved further into the house, taking it in. "Well, my work ethic hasn't changed so he doesn't have to worry about whether I'll be a hard worker or not. I might be a skateboarding occasional bum. But I know how to buckle down when it's needed of me." He smiles at Rachel. "That's good, I'm sure you'll blow them away."
“I forgot I could get you sing a duet with me. Or at least try. It gets old singing with your dads all the time.” She laughs. “You skateboard too? Color me surprised. I should probably bring you out. My daddy is eager to see you again.” She laughs. “We’ll see what happens.” Rachel speaks as an after thoughts she leads him out to the back yard. “Should have told you to bring a suit.”
"The closest I get to music, outside of my shower, is behind a piano or I play guitar. But yeah, no, duets are not on the table." Quinn chuckled as he follows Rachel. "I do. Something I picked up in Cleveland." He raised an eyebrow. "He is?" A grimace crossed his face as he stepped foot in the backyard. "I, uh... don't have one. I don't feel comfortable at a tailor." He mumbled.
“You play piano? You can play for me!” Rachel grins. Hiram and LeRoy great Quinn enthusiastically. “Help yourself. I’m sure Rachel will keep you company.”
Quinn sighed with a laugh. " I do, yes. You'll have to ask nicely, but I promise nothing decent after a few drinks." The idea of playing for Rachel was... well it wasn't the worst idea in the world. However he'd never tested his ability to play after more than one Jack and Coke. Quinn smiled as he was greeted. "Thank you for inviting me. I certainly will." He eyed Rachel, not entirely sure she actually would, just given things but he wasn't about to be rude.
“I ask nicely.” She promises, with a flip of her hair.
At his look she giggle. “Don’t worry. I’ve been spoken to. I’ve promised to be on my best behavior.” It was a bit cryptic but Rachel told her daddy everything and he tells her dad everything. “Do you want to mingle or come to the basement?”
Quinn resisted the urge to snort at the hair flip and couldn't help the raise of his eyebrow at her giggle. "Uh... okay." Quinn looked around. They were the youngest there by no less than fifteen years and that was not a crowd he exactly wanted to get chummy with. "I start in with trans jokes if I get comfortable enough and that is not the kind of impression I wish to be making tonight." He knew himself. If he got a drink in him and loosened up just enough he'd start talking and he really didn't want to accidentally shoot himself in the foot.
“The basement it is. I don’t exactly get chummy either. They’re all too nosy. They know too much.” Rachel grabs too mojitos and links arms with him. “You look nice, you know.”
Quinn grimaces with a laugh. "Can't blame you there." He smiled as Rachel linked arms with him. "Thank you, so do you. But then, you always do."
“We both know that’s not true.” Rachel keeps smiling, despite the way her stomach drops. “I’m glad you showed up.” Rachel leads him to the basement. A mini stage with a piano and microphone- bedazzled of course.
"Yes it is." He smiles, an almost inaudible, "At least to me,"added in under his breath. Quinn looks over at Rachel, a bemused smirk on his face. "The way you were texting me, I thought you didn't want me to be here." He can't help but shake his head at the sight of the basement. This brought back memories. "Now this brings back memories."
“A girl can be convinced. Alcohol loosens me up and that helps.” She’s reads to word vomit but stops herself. “Yes. Quinn the angry drunk. How badly I wanted to hug you the. Despite me being weepy.”
Quinn is slightly concerned by what Rachel says. Was this just alcohol induced chill? Could it get flipped? "Quinn is still an angry drunk, but he gets that from his father." He sighs. "Well, no, only when anything with wine in the name is used to get him there." It was true. His father had been a wine based alcoholic and it seemed anytime Quinn drank wine or even wine coolers he had a higher tendency to be an angry drunk. Any other time he tended to be a flirty, and usually horny, drunk.
“I know he wasn’t a nice guy. You deserve a nice dad.” Rachel starts towards the stage, and takes a seat on the edge of it. “No wine. It’s not my families style really. I happen to like red wine, but only sometimes.”
Quinn shrugged. "C'est la vie." He joined Rachel on the edge of the stage, taking off the blazer he was wearing and rolling up the sleeves of the long sleeved shirt he was wearing. He needed to invest in nice, short sleeved shirts, that weren't button downs. He set the blazer on the stage off to his side and looked over at Rachel. "Nothing wrong with liking wine, it just doesn't agree with me."
“I’ve been thinking about you. I should say I still haven’t stopped thinking about you.” Rachel lifts her drink and takes a sip. “I wish I could give you what you’re wanting.”
Quinn's eyebrows furrowed at what Rachel said. She'd been thinking about him? "It took a long time," and a lot of sex, "before I could keep myself from thinking about you, honestly." He sighed, leaning his forearms on his elbows, looking down at his feet. "And then there you were again." Quinn took a sip of his drink, shrugging. "I made your life a living hell for three years, I should be grateful you even want to be around me."
“What did you think about?” Rachel follows his gaze to his shoes. “I figured you ran from all the bad stuff. That you wanted to get away from the girl you couldn’t stand. I want you to stand me.” She admits softly. “I’m sorry that I keep acting like I want you to go away.”
"A lot of things." He admitted quietly. "Your legs. The way you light up when you get into a song. Your smile. Your voice. All the times I made you cry, when I wish I hadn't. That slap at prom..." Quinn looked over at Rachel as she spoke, ignoring the urge to reach over and touch her. "It was never you. Everything I did, that I said... It was never really about you. It was me and miss-attributed hate." He took a sip of his drink with a chuckle. "Karma's a bitch, yeah?"
“I didn’t mind the slap.” Rachel whispers, a smirk playing at her lips as she reached for his hands. “I’ve always thought about how much your eyes say. Your fingers. How toned you are.” She rolls her eyes. “This isn’t karma. This is fate. You were the only one to see the bad in me. It feels good not to be alone.”
Quinn raised his eyebrow at her whisper, extending the hand not holding his drink out to Rachel, palm up. He can't help but flex his hand as she speaks. "I saw all of you, I just focused on the bad. If anything, I made them worse than they really were. Poked at what I knew would cause the most harm and kept going. I was manipulative, evil, even." His hand curled into a fist as he spoke, sighing.
“I forgive you. I need to because I know you didn’t mean it. My dads know you didn’t mean to.” Rachel smiles. “We’re okay, right?” Rachel lets go of his hand and jumps off the stage. “I meant what I said. I don’t think I can give you everything. I just want to find good feelings. Physical feelings. You’re looking for the internal good. My mind doesn’t want to be swayed.”
Quinn sighs, looking up at her a soft smile on his face. "And I stand by what I said, I won't make you do anything you don't want to. I just feel like one of us is going to regret it, doing this physical thing. And you'd be getting a lot more out of it than I would. I don't let people touch me, there. I don't let people get near there and as much as I'm sure you'd be a pillow princess, I don't really like non-mutual sex. I will do anything else, just not to that degree." He looked down at his shoes for a few minutes before meeting Rachel's eyes. "But, yes, we're okay. We can figure out something that works for you, for us, but... I know how to make people feel good physically."
“I’m not selfish.” She says s bit defensively. “But I’m not trying anything. I just want you to know where I am. I can’t let someone in the way you want to be. I don’t believe you don’t have ill intentions because I don’t deserve better then that. I really don’t. You thinking I’m selfish proves it. I haven’t changed. I’ll never change.”
Quinn sets down his drink and is immediately on his feet again. Closing the distance between himself and Rachel a resounding 'crack' echoed through the basement as Quinn slapped Rachel. Then his hands are at either sides of her face. "Shut up! Do not put words in my mouth!" The hand over where he slapped her his soft, rubbing her cheek, with his thumb. The other more firm, not wanting to let her go. "You deserve so much, Rachel. You deserve to love and be loved. I think you're stubborn and talented and brilliant. Being selfish can save your life and keep you safe. I am as selfish as they come, Rachel."
Rachel’s hand goes up to touch her face but just meets his hand. Her eyes are wide and she tries to shake him away. “You said it. You did. Saying I’d be a pillow princess.” She doesn’t want to hear him. She’s being selfish in an entirely different way than she was before. “You we’re doing what you needed to do to save yourself. Even if it meant to had to leave me.”
Quinn growls, one hand slipping from her cheek to behind her neck. "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant you'd make a good one, given I wouldn't let you return the favor." He sighs, forehead resting against Rachel's. Her words register but the last get stuck on repeat. Everything about them told him so much. Because she took it personally. She took his leaving to mean something more than it was. He has a feeling he knew why, just given everything, but he needed to hear her say it. "Why were you upset I ran away, Rachel? Tell me the truth and then tell me why you're fighting it now."
She feels hot, all over, and his questions just send her into a tailspin. “Because it meant is never get you to.” Rachel pauses, fists clenching. “I’d never get you to like me back.” She can’t help herself and closes the space between them to kiss him deeply.
Her words hit him but before he can do anything her lips are on his. He returns the kiss, the hand on her cheek leaving to slip around her waist and the hand on her neck held her closer, tangling in her hair. As he pulls away, he swallows hard. "Well I'm here now and I do like you. I have for so long."
She whimpers at the loss and looks to her feet. “It’s different now. I’m different now. I’m not who you like anymore.”
He uses the hand in her hair to somewhat forcefully make her look at him when she looks at her feet. "So am I. That's what time does. It changes us. So how about you stop fighting and let me decide for myself if you've changed too much."
“Fine.” She whispers, the forcefulness getting through to at least a little. “Time just didn’t change me for good. I feel that. I know that. I want you to get what you deserve.”
"I don't care. When I say I want you, I want all of you. And yes, that means the bad stuff too. Because you can't tell me I'm not part of that bad. You can't tell everything I did and said to you didn't fuck you up." He places a soft, tentative kiss to her lips. It's quick and barely there. "I can't fix the damage I caused but I'd give everything to be around to help when you do. If that's what you want."
“I just want you.” She says after a while. Choosing to ignore most of what he said. Not because his words aren’t meaningful, but she doesn’t want to admit that there is damage. That she can’t be fixed.
"But will you give me all of you? Will you give me the honor of getting to take you on dates, even if they're just foreplay for the physical? Will you give me that?" His words are quiet and he finds himself pulling away, scared of the answer she might give him. Scared of the rejection he's gotten every time from her. "Will you give me a chance to get something out of giving you the physical?"
“Okay.” She nods, slowly, unsure. But wanting to make him happy. It would make her happy. “You don’t owe me the physical. It’s okay.”
He smiles at her, surprised by her acceptance and he can't help but chuckle as he steps back into her face, a hand once again returning to the back of her neck as he pulled her into a kiss. His other hand found one of hers. "But if you want it, I will happily give it to you."
“I just need something. I need a new kind of release.” She admits softly. “It’s not something I can do for myself.” Rachel sighs, just looking him in the eyes.
"I think I can manage that." He smiles at her before kissing her again. He then begins to kiss his way to her ear. "Tell me, would you think about me when you were alone?"
“You were the only one I ever thought of.” Rachel whispers, blushing. “It was so easy to pretend when I had an audience. But alone- always puts.”You*
Quinn grins, nipping at her neck. "Will you put on a show just for me? Here and now?"
“What kind of show?” Her eyebrow raises, already beginning to slide the sleeves of her dress off her shoulders.
"Whatever kind of show you want to put on for me." At that point Quinn wasn't sure, but he wanted it. He wanted whatever Rachel would give him. He kissed her neck, tempted to bite down, to leave his mark. But he thought better of it. It wasn't in anyone's best interest to mark her. Even if he wanted to.
“You’re teasing.” Rachel mumbles, biting down on her lip hard. “I’d like to put on many shows for you. But there’s not enough time.” She whines
"Am I? What do you want me to do?" He breathed against her ear, a low chuckle escaping his lips. "So put one on for now and I'll invite you over later."
“I want more than you just...doing that. Only getting so close.” Rachel doesn’t know where her bravery has come from, but she starts inching the skirt of her dress up her legs to reveal more of herself. “Invite me over. We should probably head upstairs.”
Quinn chuckled at her words. His eyes catch the movement down her leg and grins. "If we go upstairs are you going to show me more of you?"
“Shall I show more of you now and take my turn in teasing you?” She lifts up her drink from the stage and finishes it. “I’ll do anything you want, Quinn.”
Quinn grins. "I'd love to see more of you, m'dear." He licks his lips as he grabs his own drink and takes a long drink of it. "Tease me if you can." He takes a seat on the edge of the stage, leaning back on his elbows. "Show me what I want."
Rachel swallows down the nervous lump forming in her throat and she slowly begins pushing her dress down further off her shoulders, revealing her lack of bra and just enough cleavage. “Okay?”
Quinn grins as he watches Rachel, licking his lips. His eyes travel down her form. "I thought you were trying to tease me. C'm'ere." He beckoned her closer with finger as he sat up.
“I was.” She whispers, listening to his words and going back to him. “Did I do something wrong?”
Quinn smiles at her, taking her hips in his hands, pulling her between his knees. "The key to teasing is all in the hips, dear. Pick a song with a good beat. Move to that beat. Make every movement count. It's not just about showing me, it's about making me wait. Do not be fast to please."
She can’t help but feel like she’d done something wrong, but Rachel finds it easy to fall into the negative. “Later.” She whispers, biting her lip again. “When we aren’t a floor away from my dads. When I can. When I can really dance for you.” Rachel quickly grabs his hands and pulls them from her hips, but easily placed them on her chest. “Later.” She repeats, to herself more than Quinn.
Quinn sighs. "Fine." He grumbles. He can understand why but it annoys him and not in the way teasing might. It annoys him in a way that makes him want to leave. To be angry. But its not on her. He knows that. He knows he keeps expecting too much. Sighing, he pulls his hands back from her lays back on the stage with a groan, staring at the ceiling. "This was a bad idea. I'm too sober, you're too tipsy. And they're too close." He covers his face with his hands, nails digging into his hairline.
Rachel can’t help but twist his words. But she says nothing, just nodding along to his words- thankful when her dad pokes his head down announcing dinner. “We should go.” She’s quick to her feet, hoping she could get away with divvying up everyone’s plate so she could ignore her own.
"Go up without me, I need a minute alone, please." He racked his hands through his hair, trying to keep from hissing as his nails scraped his scalp. Quinn needed to get himself under control. There was old rage rising to the surface. Rage he'd buried, mixed with newer anger. Rage he could so easily take out on Rachel, like he once had, but he wasn't that person anymore. He refused to be that again.
“What can I do? What do you need?” Rachel can’t help but hold a hand out to him. “Let me help.” She whispers. “Please.” It’s not hard to see he’s not okay.
Quinn huffs. "I need you to give me a minute alone, please." His voice was pleading. He needed her gone. He needed to be alone. Old habits died hard and he could just as easily slip down a rage fueled rabbit hole, taking everything out on Rachel but he didn't want that. He didn't want to hurt her. But he didn't want her to see what was to come. What he would choose to do to himself instead.
“But what are you going to do?” Rachel steps back, but doesn’t leave. “Let me do something Quinn. Please.”
"Leave. That's all you can do right now." His voice is steeled. He needs her to leave but he doesn't want to yell at her. "Rachel, please. You're only going to make this worse for all involved."
“Make what worse?” Rachel sits back beside him and reaches for his hand. “Let me understand, please. Let me be here.”
"I refuse to hurt you. Please. Don't force my hand on this. I don't need to backslide that far." He pulled his hand away, crossing his arms, doing his best to not dig his nails in. They were short but he knew had to cause damage and pain with them.
“But what if I want you to?” She has no idea what she’s saying. But she knows she means the words. “I love you. You’re not backsliding. You’re so much better.”
"No one will appreciate what I'd do to you. Please, don't do this to me. I need you to leave." He groans. Why won't she leave? "If you stay I will! Please, don't name me into that person again. Don't do this to me."
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Rachel stomps her foot. She didn’t understand anything right now.
Quinn clenched his teeth. "For fucks sake, Berry! Just leave me be before I do something to you I will regret!" He's seething, nails digging into his arms. "Do not turn me back into the person who took out his anger on you because I can't handle that again! I can't handle torturing other people anymore."
“Like leave me?” She gets back up and leaves him, like he’s asked. Rachel wasn’t going to watch him leave. That is the worst he could do now, it had to be what he meant.
She stands beside her daddy at the piano and sings a song with him- how they tended to start their meals with guests and she’s quick to help dish out food, the smile staying plastered on her face.
Quinn just growled at what Rachel said, letting out a sigh of relief when she made her way back upstairs. With a hiss, he racked his nails down his arms. It was stupid. He knew that. He knew that taking it out on himself wasn't productive either, but this was better than lashing out. It was better than hurting someone else.
After a while, feeling far more like himself, even with too many stinging lines down both his forearms, he rolled his sleeves back down, grabbed his blazer and the empty glasses and headed back upstairs. He made a point to apologize for his tardiness, making up some sort of excuse that didn't include clawing the shit out of his arms.
The minute Quinn comes back Rachel places his plate down and is quick to exit the dining room. She has a plate in her hands, but she has no intentions of eating it. She takes one look back before rushing up the stairs to her bedroom. She no longer wanted to do that. Act like she’s fine. Entertain the questions that we’re sure to come.
Quinn wanted to follow Rachel as she left but he was in no position to make sure someone else was okay. He was barely together himself. So, he settle in, not sure he had the stomach for actually eating but he knew how to pretend. He knew how to get away with not eating how much he should be.
The Berry men want to question the issue but instead the ignore that Rachel isn’t there- used to her absence and make small talk amongst their guests and including Quinn in when relevant.
Quinn did his best to be an attentive guest, but between the stinging in his forearms and the nagging worry about Rachel in the back of his head, he wasn't sure what kind of impression he was making. He also just didn't have much to say on most of the subjects they touched on, being too young and inexperienced to really have an opinion.
As the night started to come to a close Quinn slipped upstairs, knocking gently on Rachel's door. He wasn't sure if she'd answer but he at least wanted to try and bid her goodnight before he left.
“It’s open.” She calls out softly, curled up in her bed. She’s just assumed Quinn had left. Rachel has no intentions of going back up the stairs.
Quinn opened the door and stuck his head in. "Hey you." His voice is gentle. "Can I come in?"
“I’m not going to stop you.” She mumbles, rolling over so she isn’t facing him.
He steps into the room, closing the door softly behind him. Part of him wanted to move over to the bed but chose to keep his distance. "I just wanted to say good night." He bit his lip, looking down at the ground. "And I wanted to say I'm sorry about how I acted in the basement, especially before dinner." Quinn absentmindedly rubs his arms, biting back a hiss as the stinging starts up again.
“Just don’t. Just go. It’s what you need, you said so yourself. You don’t need to sugar coat it. We all know you didn’t before.” Her words are bitter.
"What?" He moved over to the bed, sitting on the edge. "I said nothing about needing to leave, Rachel. And I'm not sugar coating anything."
“You said you didn’t want to hurt me. The worst thing you did was leave me. That’s the only thing that would hurt me.” She still doesn’t face him.
"I meant physically. Had you'd stayed down there with me, I can't guarantee I wouldn't have left you bruised. I couldn't do that. I couldn't risk it." He looks down at his feet. "I wouldn't forgive myself if I did that. If I'd taken out what I was feeling on you."
“Can’t you just.” Her brows furrow. “I liked when you slapped me.” Rachel says after a few moments. Unsure what else she could say in the moment.
"The state I was in, I wouldn't have just slapped you, Rachel. I'd have kept going, I probably would have thrown punches. I couldn't do that. Not and feel okay. That's not me anymore. Lashing out at other people." He leans forward, forearms on his thighs, hissing at the increase in pain.
“I want you to hurt me. And stop hurting yourself.” She doesn’t even know the extent of it. “I’d let you. Just not punching and not my nose.”
"No. I promised myself, no matter what happened, I wouldn't do that to someone else, not how I had been. But especially not to you." He wasn't going to do that to her, or anyone, ever again. Even if it meant hurting himself instead.
“You can’t give me what I need.” Rachel says after a while of silence.
Quinn scoffed. "There's a difference between lashing out on someone and hurting them and getting rough with them on purpose. One is abuse, the other is consensual pain. You want the latter. What would have happened in that basement, would have been the former."
“Why did you come up here?” She turns so that she can face him. “I don’t need the difference, you know.”
"Like I said, I wanted to wish you goodnight and apologize. I guess I've done that, so I guess I can go." He stood, looking over at her for a few moments before sighing and making his way back over to the door. "Getting someone else to cause you pain is no different than causing it to yourself. Just so you know."
“I don’t hurt myself.” Rachel says with a raise of her voice. She climbs out her bed- nearly falling at her quickness but she’s quick to get between him and the door. “Don’t go.”
"But you want me to do it. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about." He sighs as she comes between him and the door. "Why not?"
“Then do it. Please.” Rachel bites down on her lip, hard. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
Quinn sighs, closing his eyes briefly. "Why? So I'm punishing us both tonight?" He leans in and presses a kiss to her cheek. "I'm just going home. That's all. I'll still just be a text and a quick ride away,"
“Yes.” Rachel breathes, not taking the weight of his words. She turns her head and kisses him, hard and bruising. “Don’t leave. Please.”
Quinn sighs into the kiss before biting her lip, pulling it back before letting go. He forces her up against the door. "Why do you need punishing, hmm?" He'd seen the plate, knowing well enough it hadn't been touched and he wondered if she'd tell him. If she'd admit to it or if there was something else.
Her eyes widen as she looks at him, shaking her head. “I just. I like it. I-I want it.” Rachel stumbles over her words. “Please.” She pleads.
Quinn takes a deep breath, rolling his neck for a few moments. "Safe word. Now."
“I don’t want to safe word.” Rachel whispers. “I don’t. I don’t want to be safe.”
"If you want this, you will give me a safe word or I'm walking out. Because a safe word isn't just for you." He moved his hand to the doorknob.
“Red.” She breathes. “Don’t leave me!” Rachel says desperately.
At her answer he smirked, pulling his hand away from the doorknob. "Now I don't have to." He leaned in and bit her neck, hard. "You're going to dance for me. Be naughty for me, and I'll punish you for it. Is that what you want?"
Rachel whimpers, nodding her head. “Yes. It’s what I want. I need it.” She takes a shaky breath. “Need you.”
"Then you'll dance for me. Do you need me to show you how?" He growls out, raking his teeth down her throat before pulling away.
Rachel just shakes her head, the minute he lets her go she moves to turn on some music, hips swaying to the beat. “Better?”
Quinn chuckles, moving over to the bed and taking a seat. His eyes move up and down her form. "Much."
She can’t help but beam. She’d rid herself of the dress the moment she’d entered her room and traded it in for silk pajamas. The shorts show off her long legs and as she continues to move her hips she begins to undo the buttons of the top- slow.
His eyes were mostly on her legs, those legs he'd watched for so long and now they moved just for him. When she started to undo the buttons on her pajama top he found his eyes rising to watch, licking his lips at how she moved. "You were holding back, earlier. How rude of you." He growled out.
“Hmmmph, I needed you to show me.” Once she has the top completely open, Rachel watches him, eager for his response as she slides it off. She hooks a thumb on each side of her shorts and turns so that her backside is facing him. Her hips continue to circle and roll as she begins to slide them down.
Quinn's eyebrow raised at her words, but the other quickly joined as she finished opening the shirt, swallowing hard. "Such a naughty girl for me." He bites his bottom lip, groaning slightly as she turns her back on him. There's the spark of something he hadn't truly felt in so long and he moans.
“I’ve always been naughty for you.” Rachel murmurs as she ride herself of the shorts, leaving her in black lace panties. Part of her wants to cover herself but the other part knows she deserves to be ridiculed this way. She easily turns back to face him, biting her lip seductively.
Quinn's jaw drops open and he inhales sharply. God she was gorgeous and she was all his. This was just for him, no one else. Some part of him is glad he's not had bottom surgery because there was no doubt in his mind he'd be sporting a raging hard on. "Look at you, so exposed for me. " He stands up as he speaks moving over to Rachel, immediately reaching around to slap her on the ass, a grin spreading across his face.
Rachel can’t help but shiver at his words, never having felt so desired before. Not with Finn or Jesse or the boys she’d met in school. “That’s not enough.” She whispers
He chuckles at her words, immediately repeating the action a few times in rapid succession, aiming to hit her harder than he had. "Such a naughty girl aren't you? Wanting me to do this to you here." He growls out, his free hand tangling in her hair and pulling it, hard, before kissing her, biting her lip.
She yelps as he pulls her hair, and is happy for the kiss. Relieved even. “Anywhere.” She whines at him. “Anywhere you want.”
He grins into the kiss before biting his way down her neck. "You like your pain, hmm? How do you do it to yourself?" He's genuinely curious if she does, and if so, how. It's so interesting how reactive she is to it all. Pulling her hair again, the hand on her ass reaching down to his nails up her thigh, knowing just how to drag his nails to cause pain.
“Yes.” Rachel purrs our, liking the way he focused on her neck. “I could show you.” She can’t help but back up into his hands, always wanting more.
Quinn grins. Some part of him is highly aware that they are in her bedroom, in her fathers' house, and he was only supposed to be wishing her goodnight. The reality that they could get caught doing this almost made it better. He bites down on her pulse point, working to leave his mark before pulling away. "Show me."
She cries out, but is quick to put her hand over mouth to stop herself from being too loud.
Rachel turns the music up and leads him to the bathroom inside her room. “Sit.” She motions for the edge of the tub.
Quinn chuckles and follows her into the bathroom. Taking a seat on the edge of the tub, he watches Rachel, curious to see just what he's about to witness.
She bends down, still covered in her under clothes, black and lace, and she opens up the bottom drawer attached to the sink. She pulls out a few items and places them on the counter. A pink flogger, a small purple paddle with a gold star painted on it, and nipple clamps. "Pick one."
Quinn watches her move, licking his lips. As the choices are presented to him he grins, impressed by the selection. Standing, he slides one of his sleeves up, making sure not to roll it up too far. He then picks up the flogger and tests it on his exposed wrist before rolling his sleeve back down. Setting the flogger down, he picks up the paddle, smacking it few times against the heel of his palm. Setting it back down he ran his fingers over the nipple clamps, thinking. The flogger could be used on multiple parts of the body far easier than the paddle. The nipple clamps, well, the had one purpose and one purpose only.
In an executive decision, he picked up the flogger and the nipple clamps. Slipping the former into his pocket he held out the nipple clamps to Rachel.
Rachel just watches him, eager to seethe choice he will make. She’s pressing her thighs together as he tests them all out and the slightest sound leaves her as the coolness of the clamps on her palm.
Rachel undoes her bra, revealing little bruises along her breasts but she doesn’t wait for a reaction and instead she applies the clamps on each nipple.
“Give me the flogger.” She begs
Quinn grins as he watches Rachel, an eyebrow quirked at the little bruises. A chuckle escapes his lips when she begs. "Oh no, dear, I'll be using that." He grinned, picking up the paddle and handing it over instead. Quinn honestly wanted to see how Rachel managed it. He also just didn't want to properly choose and he can't imagine Rachel will object. He is vaguely aware of an ache between his legs, something he hadn't particularly felt, much less indulged in ages. Hopefully he could make it through this and get home without it getting too bad, or maybe he'd just get lucky and a boner killer will come along between now and then.
Rachel’s face falls when he denied her, but she takes the paddle eagerly and slowly presses it against the chain of the clamps, for the slight pulling sensation.
But then she’s quick to bend herself over the counter, sticking her butt out. And though it’s nowhere near as good as someone else bring in control of the instrument she begins to let it crack down on her back side without warning.
Quinn can't help the moan that escapes his lips, silently cursing his decision to pack because all it did was make it worse. He pulled at the collar of his shirt, swallowing hard.
“How many does a naughty girl deserve?” Rachel looks over her shoulder at him, noticing his discomfort and unsure how to approach it.
Quinn thinks for a moment. "Ten is a good number for a naughty girl." He growls out as he moves over to her, running his hand down her back, nails digging in, leaving angry red lines in their wake.
Rachel whimpers at the feel of his nails. When his hands pull away she gives herself ten cracks with the paddle on each cheek, leaving herself a whimpering mess as she drops the paddle to the floor.
Quinn moans as he watches Rachel, oddly surprised at how much it turns him on. As she finishes and drops the paddle he steps up behind her, leaning over her, keeping her against the counter. "Such a naughty girl." He growls against her ear as one of his hands reaches around to run a finger along the front of Rachel's panties. "You imagine it's me doing it, don't you? That it's me causing you pain. Because that's what you like. You like it when I hurt you, when I punish you." It's almost like a certain switch has flipped and where Quinn would normally be unable to say those words, they simply come easy. His finger teases against her panties as his other hand tugs periodically on the chains of the nipple clamps. "Do you want more, my naughty girl?" He asks as he bites her neck.
Despite Rachel being in a constant state of turned on, she hadn’t thought this would turn sexual. Despite the being half naked part. But then he begins touching her and the growl she hears escape him sounds more primal than she’d ever thought it did before. “It’s always been you.” She admits for what has felt like the millionth time. “I want more, daddy.” She whimpers
Quinn loves the power that he seems to have being with Rachel like this. The way she reacts to him. He likes hearing her admit it. That she thinks of him. It shouldn't turn him on, but it does. And then something else he never expected happens and he moans into her neck. "Daddy's naughty girl wants more, does she?" He breathes out, still in minor shock that he likes it. Maybe it was the kick it seemed to give his dysphoria, the validation wrapped up in something so obscene. What he knew was that it was really hot and he was going to need a cold shower and maybe dildo he kept for when someone else just didn't cut it, when he got home.
"Tell daddy what you want from him."
She’s getting a taste of her own medicine, having him ask all the questions. Leaving her in a state of anticipation and wondering what it is she really wants from him.
Her slip of mouth has her tensing but hearing him say it back to her as her moaning for him. “I want you to hurt me, daddy. Make me earn my rewards.”
He relishes her moan and as he hears her speak, he pulls his hand away from where it'd been teasing her. Standing up straighter, he grabs both her wrists in one hand and pulls her up and to him, staring at her through the bathroom mirror from over her shoulder. "Such a beautiful girl. Just wait until you're so clearly mine." He drives his point home by biting her shoulder. "I'm going to let you go and you're going to go get on the bed and present yourself for me. If you have a scarf to keep yourself quiet, get it. If you don't, well, you better hope you don't get me caught." And like that, he lets her go.
She didn’t think she’d miss his hand but she cries out at the loss but it’s quickly silenced by the slightest yelp as he pulls her by her hands.
Rachel wants to yell at him for complimenting her but it would be all too telling.
So she just nods her head and makes her way to her bed, she grabs a scarf for good measure but instead of putting it in her mouth as a gag she uses her panties instead- all sprawled out and open for him.
Quinn takes a few moments once Rachel leaves the bathroom to collect himself. He feels like he's burning up and he splashes water on his face to no real avail. Drying off his face, he adjusts his packer, biting back the groan as it rubs into him. God, he hasn't been this turned on in ages and there's no current relief in sight.
When he no longer hears noise from the bedroom he leaves the bathroom, gasping at the sight before him. He pulled the flogger from his pocket, swirling it in his hand as he walks over. For a few moments he just looked at her, flogger still spinning in his hand. Then, in a quick motion, he brings it down across her upper thighs. First one way and the the other. "You've been such a naughty girl."
Rachel sits up when he spots him exiting the bathroom. Part of her wants to gasp, but instead she stays quiet just following him as he gets closer, teases her with the swing of the flogger and flick of his wrist. When it finally hits her skin her eyes close, feeling slight relief, but she realized she doesn’t want to stop how into this he is and her eyes open again.
Quinn watches Rachel react, smirking at the way she looks. He's not entirely sure what he's doing but he knows he likes it. He brings it down directly between her legs, just to see. Marveling slightly at the way the tips come away wet. Lord, he'd never imagine this would be something he was into. He liked being on the receiving end of a rough night, but there was something intoxicating about being the one dishing it out. An old power he never imagined he'd feel again, much less be okay feeling again.
Her hips arch off the bed when the pink leather hits her where it counts the most. There’s a muffled whimper that you could hear if waiting for it, but the panties closed between her teeth really do their job in keeping her quiet. Her legs press together and her eyes are just wide as she stares at him. This very scenario having run through her head for so many years.
A Cheshire grin spreads across Quinn's face at the way she reacts, the muffled whimper. It's a shot directly to his core. As her legs press together he gets an idea, grabbing the nearby scarf and using it to tie one ankle to the bed post. However, he isn't sure what else to use for the other and before he can think twice about it the flogger is between his teeth and he's pulling his shirt off. He just has to ignore the angry lines on his forearms as he finishes tying Rachel down.
Smirking behind the flogger he eyed his handiwork. And then he's back at it, striking between her legs in rapid succession.
Rachel doesn't even resist him as her ankle gets tied. Her eyes just widen and darken and she wants to say so many things, but stops herself. She just watches him rid himself of his shirt and then both ankles are held back. He's really a piece of art, all smooth skin, obvious importance in his body, but then there is the marks. Rachel is pulled out of her thoughts though as he is back striking her and she's crying against the fabric of her panties- unsure how to communicate for more.
Quinn can't get enough of the way Rachel looks at him, the sounds she's making. With a few more strikes between her legs he moves to kneel on the bed, positioning himself between her legs. He strikes her abdomen, watching the way wet streaks were left in the leather's wake. His other hand begins to rake repeatedly down her thigh.
A thought occurred to him and he changes his grip on the flogger, he struck his own palm a few times with it, grinning slightly before testing it again on his wrist. Satisfied that it's what he wants, he strikes Rachel's abdomen with the handle end, just to see how she reacts.
She doesn't know what to expect when he moves positions, but she watches, eager for it. There is no fear, no worry, she just feels ready for him. Rachel's nose crinkles as he hits himself instead of her- grabbing for the fabric to take from her mouth right as Quinn hits her with the other end. There's tears stinging behind her eyes but she just cups her mouth in hopes to muffle the loud cry that leaves her. She's never been so thankful for music before.
Quinn raises an eyebrow at the way Rachel had reacted just before he'd struck her. "Daddy isn't going to something to his little girl that he isn't sure he'd like. He has to make sure he's punishing her right." He explains as he strikes her again on the other side of her abdomen. Quinn then flips it over and strikes her between the breasts.
Rachel just nods slowly. She believes she understands his intentions- that he’s just giving her what she so badly wanted and making her wait for the things she didn’t believe she could@be patient for. Her chest heaves at the strike and her hands reach out for him, nails digging into his lower arms. “Please.”
Quinn hisses at the nails in his lower arm, demeanor faltering at the pain registered in his brain. He pulled his arms away, having to catch his breath to sink back into character. "Please, what?" His tone isn't quite back to where it had been before, still working to block the pain out of his mind.
“I didn’t mean to...” she breathes out, trying to sit herself up without use of her legs.” His voice had changed, the hiss didn’t seem to be one of pleasure. “I just need more. Everything. Anything. I don’t know. Whatever you can give me. I can give you.” She’s not making the most sense but she just felt tired.
Quinn has to stand up from the bed when she starts talking. Between her not entirely making sense and the pain in his arms, he can't focus. Running his fingers through his hair he tries to refocus. Anger is bubbling back up and something snaps. He gets back on the bed, letting the rage take over, going at Rachel with the flogger hard and fast. "You and those skirts, teasing me day in and day out. Acting like nothing effected you. You were the real little miss high and mighty, weren't you? You and your gold stars. Doing anything and everything you could to be special. But you never saw it. You never saw the way I watch you walk away. The way my eyes would follow you as you stormed off. Just pissing me off more. Running through my head for years. And still you didn't know how special to me you were." He isn't sure when he started talking but it'd tumbled out of his mouth in the same manner he'd used the flogger against Rachel and as he stopped, it fell out of his hand. "Is that enough for you?"
Rachel’s not there, the words that leave him are spinning through her mind but she’s not present anymore. Instead she’s listening to the flogger hit her skin. She’s focusing on the ache. But at his question Rachel really begins to cry, legs kicking to get out of the restraints. “Yes daddy.”
That word does it and he's leaning in to kiss her. "Has daddy's girl learned her lesson?" He asks against her lips. "Is she ready for that release she was wanting?"
“No.” Rachel shakes her head. “No, just, just undo my ankles and hold me. Please.” She begs, holding out for him.
"Okay." He kisses her gently again and then straightens back up, actually moving to undo the nipple clamps first. "Do you have cream for those?" He asks as he moves off the bed to properly untie her ankles, making sure to inspect each one for marks and give them a gentle rub before setting them back on the bed. He makes a point to clear off the bed and kicking out of his shoes, realizing he hadn't earlier, before settling onto the bed, arms out for Rachel to make herself comfortable.
Rachel kisses back just slightly, needing to be able to move. Needing to get her hands on him. She sniffles at the feel of the clamps coming off and shakes her head at his question.
He’s so gentle with her and when she’s finally free Rachel lunges for his arms, hiding her face in his side. “Your arms.” She whimpers
"Get some, please. Anything that works for runner's nipple will work. I need you to have some by the next time the clamps are used. No excuses." He explains, voice somewhere finishing it's transition back to normal.
When she lunges into his arms, he wraps her tight, burying his face in her hair. He hears her speak and he sighs. "They're okay, baby. They just look worse than they are."
His voice is so serious and she can’t help but nod quickly. “Okay. I promise.” And she’s so relieved when he accepts her into his arms. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you. I’m sorry.”
Quinn kisses the top of her head. "Shh, this isn't your fault. I was too in my own head, got angry when I shouldn't have. And old habits die hard, but at least these won't scar." His voice is quiet as he explains, hands gently rubbing Rachel's back. Quinn's not entirely sure why he's telling her so much, except that he feels like he needs to. "I'm glad you left me alone, because this, now, wouldn't have happened. And I would have regretted anything I did to you. I do not regret this."
Rachel kisses his side, trying to be reassuring but not leave her spot nuzzled into him. “I don’t regret this either.” She whispers. “Just don’t stop holding me, please.”
Quinn giggles a little at the kiss to his side. "M'sensative." He mumbles into her hair, still rubbing her back. "Good, I'm glad. Even if I will never be able to look at your father in the face again." He laughs a little bit, but just holds her closer. "I won't let go until you want me to, I promise."
“They’re not scary. They like you.” She mumbles, bringing a hand to his back right as her teeth start clattering. “It’s cold.” Rachel snuggles into him closer. “Please don’t.”
"I'm not afraid of them, dear. I just can't face the man you also call daddy." He pressed a kiss to her head and did his best to shuffle the covers down and then pull them up over them. "I won't, baby."
“I’m sorry.” Rachel flushes, letting her eyes closed. “Okay, daddy. I believe you.”
"Don't be sorry, I like it." He pressed another kiss to Rachel's head, humming quietly. "Good." He liked being able to just hold her, to be close to her like this.
It didn’t take long for Rachel to fall asleep against his side, hand still on his back, and still shivering slightly.
Quinn just held her close, humming quietly into her hair. He wishes he'd got her to get dressed with how she's shivering. He could remember the days of not eating and being more effected by the cold. But there wasn't more he could, he just pulled the covers tighter around them, hoping he could trap the heat around her and get the shivering to stop. Some part of him was aware that at one point in time Rachel's dads always wished her goodnight and that, should they still do so, they'd find him. It wasn't an embarrassing thing, except that their daughter was naked in his arms, his arms that were scratched to hell. But he wasn't going to leave her, even in her sleep. He'd made a promise and he wasn't about to break it. So, he just made himself comfortable and would cross that bridge if/when he came to it.
When Rachel’s eyes flutter open, she feels confused at first. Her lack of clothes, the body she’s pressed against. But she relaxes as the memories flood her mind. She kisses against his side again, in the shape of a heart and she can’t help but giggle at herself.
Quinn wakes up squirming, the feeling of something repeatedly against his side. Then he hears a giggle, registers the body still in his arms and he smiles. "G'morning." He mutters into Rachel's hair. "Sleep well?"
“I don’t remember falling asleep.” She grins, “Did you sleep well?” She cups his face with her palm. “You stayed.”
"You were out pretty fast after." He kisses her forehead. "I did, yeah. One of your dads makes a killer cup of tea." He smiled, nodding. "Of course. I made a promise to not let go til you told me to. I wasn't about to break it." He leaned in and kissed her. "You feeling okay? You were really cold before you fell asleep."
“You got my tea?” Rachel pouts, before it registers. “Are they mad? Are you okay?” She hugs him closer, feeling really grateful. “I’m fine, daddy.” And she raises her eyebrows up with another giggle.
Quinn chuckles. "Yes, yes I did." He smiles. "No, they're not. And yes, I'm fine. Though, they seemed a little worried about my forearms, but I assured them I was fine and thanked them for the tea and not forcing me to leave." He tightens his grip on her, just a little more. A smirk crosses his face. "Good." And then he sighed. "When was the last time you ate something and kept it down? And please, be honest with me."
“I’m worried about your forearms.” Rachel whispers, feeling herself pull away at his question. Rachel sits up, a bit achy, and covers her chest with the sheet. “Why are you asking me that?”
"They're fine." He sits up next to her, exposing his forearms to her. The scratches had faded, for the most part. A few were still raised but no longer red. He looks over at her with a sigh. "Because I care about you and I'm worried you haven't been eating." Quinn looks down at his hands. "Because I've been there and I know the signs."
"I care and worry about you too. You hurt yourself. On purpose. That's not safe behavior." As if she wasn't doing the same sort of things. "I ate dinner last night."
"Not often. It's rare these days. I'm getting better with it." He traced along one of the raised marks. "It's part of why I don't really like letting people see me below the waist. My thighs are just... covered. All healed but still." Quinn sighs, looking at Rachel, eyebrow raised. "I said don't lie to me, Rachel. Now, tell me the truth. When did you eat last?"
"I believe you." Rachel nods again. "You can trust me." And she means that, despite him catching her in her lie. "I don't want to talk about this." Rachel says seriously. "Okay?"
Quinn is quiet for a bit, looking down at his hands. "I know." He smiles slightly but then it falls. "I know you don't, but I need you to. I need to know because if you want it to happen again, I need to know you're not going to pass out on me. And I would love to do it again, but I need you healthy, baby."
"You don't need to know anything." Rachel is quick to climb out of the bed, standing too fast. She fumbles just slightly but catches herself. "Should I even bother looking in the mirror to see if I'm marked up?"
Quinn sighs as Rachel stands up, almost reaching for her when she fumbles but stopping. "Do you want to see my handiwork or?" He's moving from the bed and grabbing his shirt and belt from where he'd left them the night before, having taken off his belt while laying in bed after she'd fallen asleep. Putting both on, he sighed. "Should I just go? I feel as if I've overstayed my welcome."
Rachel just turns her back to him, going to the closet to find something else to change into. Something comfortable, something that would hide her. On her way she kicks the untouched food at the wall. "If that's how you feel, then by all means. I won't make you stay."
Quinn sighed, looking down at the plate she kicked. "I know I overstepped, Rachel, but I am worried about you. The way you got last night, it honestly kinda scared me."
"What are you saying? I didn't try and scare you. I was just...I just. That's what I wanted."
"No, not about that. That didn't scare me. You stopped making sense, around the time you scratched me. Right there before the end. And then after, how cold you got. You didn't stop shivering for ages. I didn't sleep until after you'd stopped." He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. "It scares me because I've been there."
"Please go." She whispers. "I just need to be alone right now. I'm sorry." Rachel feels her lips start to quiver and she just sinks herself onto the ground unable to stop the crying, "Please go."
Quinn stood from the bed but didn't leave, instead he sunk to the ground next to her. "No. I'm not going to leave you crying on your floor. Your fathers would never forgive me, but more importantly, neither would I." He doesn't touch her, but he offers his hands to her. "If you want, I will go sit on the other side of the room, or in the bathroom, but I will not leave you."
"I just want you to stop telling me what to do. " But she takes his hand. "Everyone keeps telling me what to do and I just want it to stop. I can't control anything. Nothing is good but you and I can't just put that on you. It's not your job." She easily moves so that her head is in his lap.
He squeezes her hand gently when she takes it, listening to her speak. When she puts her head in his lap, he starts to run his free hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, baby. I just wanted to look out for you. And I know it's not my job, but I care and I want to be here for you." He leans down and places a kiss on her head. "I want to take care of you, however you'll let me."
“I know. I know. I’m sorry I do appreciate that. But I’m a big girl and I can make my own decisions.” Rachel sniffles, hands moving to swipe at her eyes. “I like how you cared for me last night, daddy.”
"Yes, but you're exhibiting unsafe behavior and while I have very little room to talk, as I exhibit both similar and other unsafe behavior, I do have some. And I just want to be here to help, however I can." He smiles at her, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. "Yeah? Does my little girl want that to happen again?"
“But I’m not asking for help. The same way that you’re not.” Rachel looks up at him, lip beginning to quiver again. “I do, yes. Please.” There’s a slight whine behind her voice. “I’ve never felt like that in my life. It was so powerful and it was all because of you, daddy.”
"I'm in therapy, I asked for my help. Or, more accurately, it was thrust upon me when I was getting medical clearance to start my transition." He corrected. "I never imagined I'd like that, if you can believe it. I'm usually on the receiving end of it." He chuckles a bit. "There's a certain kind of validation as a trans man, being called daddy. And I really liked watching the way you reacted to everything I did." He smiled at her.
“I think there’s our difference. I’m not asking for help.” Should she be? Could she even handle it? On her worst days the smell of food makes her nauseous and on the best she could eat alone in her room and gives up when she can’t throw up on the first try.
“You made me feel good. And you are daddy. Mine.”
"When I say I asked, I was given conditions. If I wanted to transition, I had to be at a healthy weight or I wouldn't be allowed to start. If I wanted it, I had to get help and I decided I wanted it. Maybe daddy could give you that incentive? If you wanted it, of course." Quinn wasn't about to stop what he and Rachel had stumbled into, but he could give her more incentive to get better, extra things to make getting better worth it. "Daddy is glad he could help his little girl." He kisses her again. "I like sitting with you like this."
“What does that mean?” Rachel stands so she can actually get dressed now that she a bit calmer. She slips on a pair of cotton panties with a little bow and a T-shirt that she drowns in. “Like, you don’t give me what I want unless I give you what you want?” She easily comes back to him and touched slightly at his knees. “I’d like it better, sitting on your lap.”
He watches her get dressed, smiling gently as he eyes her. "No. I'd give you more. I'd buy better toys. New things for us to use." He explains, adjusting to sit with his back against the edge of the bed as she returns to him. Quinn smiles, patting his lap. "Then sit, baby girl."
She easily sits, cautious at first of placing all her weight. “ But you need to save your money, daddy. For your surgery and so you can stop.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “Stop doing dangerous jobs.” She sighs softly. “I like rewards.” Rachel adds as an afterthought
Quinn takes her weight easy, holding her close. "But I want my baby girl to get better too." He kisses the side of her head. "And if that means daddy has to put off his surgery to take care of his baby girl, he will." Quinn smiles at her. "Besides, I do have a new job and I might be able to talk to my boss about insurance or something that could help fund said surgery. So I can put more money towards rewarding my baby girl."
Rachel’s head hurts, whether it’s the overload of everything or the gnawing feeling that she needs to eat, she is not sure. “What would I have to do to be a good girl for daddy?”
Quinn smiles, nuzzling her hair a little. "For now, I need to know how long you've gone without eating. Then, I just want you to try and eat something of substance every other day. Starting today. Okay? It doesn't have to be a lot, but it has to be something. I'm not going to tell you what, when, nor how much, I just want you to eat. If you want to come over to my place on those days and let me cook for you, and then take care of you after, we can do that. I just want to see you try, for right now. Until you're a little more comfortable. Okay? You think you can do that? You think you can try for daddy?"
Rachel takes a breath, shaky, filled with nerves. "I think I ate without..." It's Thursday now and she had dinner with Finn's mom on Sunday and she'd not been able to get away to throw it up and thinking about it had exhausted her to the point she'd gone straight to bed. "Sunday." She hides her face in his chest. "I'll try for daddy." Rachel whispers after a long while sitting in silence. "As long as you take care of me."
"Oh, baby." He holds her close, kissing the top of her head, rubbing her back a little. "I will always take care of you, I promise." Quinn kissed her head again. "You ready to go get some breakfast? Or do you want to sit here with me a little longer?"
"I want to take care of you too." Rachel whispers, nodding her head. "We can go get breakfast. I won't go if we wait."
"I know you do, baby." He smiles at her and nods as she speaks. "Okay, let's go get some."
Rachel puts on a pair of leggings and throws her hair up. "Let's go, daddy."
Characters: Charlie Cox & Katie McGrath
Setting: Midnight @ Katie’s NYC apartment
Warnings: N/A
Plot: After getting the DNA results, Charlie torns them apart without opening them, realizing that Kian was in fact his child. Charlie shows up drunk at Katie’s apartment, where they engage in an honest conversation that leads to them agreeing on finding a way to co-parent together.
Tagging: @charliethomascoxx
Charlie: Life sometimes threw things at you that you weren't sure you could survive. Many handled them with turning to someone - to talk or just to be held. Some turned to church and their faith. But Charlie? He turned to the bottles stacked up behind the counter of the bar he was sitting in. It wasn't healthy, he knew that better than most, but he didn't want to lay his troubles at anyone else's feet. So he turned to Jack Daniels. That was the only person he wanted to bring his problems to. Not that having a child was a problem, most people thought it was a gift. Something that made you a better person, something that gave you strength and courage to face the next day. Charlie, however, had never thought about having a child. And maybe if Katie had told him about Kian when he was born, he could have grown into it. The older male could have now been a father, maybe not the best, but better than what he was thinking he'd be now. But she hadn't. So now he was here, in a dark bar, drinking away the resentment he felt towards her. Someone he claimed as his best friend, but also now seeing that she was also his worst enemy - at least in this case. Lifting his glass to take another sip, he stopped himself. What the fuck was he doing? Instead of sitting here, feeling sorry for himself, he should be knocking her door down and getting the answers that he wanted. The results had come in the day before and he had tore them up, tossing them in the trash without a second thought. Charlie knew that Kian was his, had seen it from the moment he had looked into his old photo albums and saw the resemblance between the two of them. Now, he had to see her. Had to see the young boy. So standing up, he reached in his pocket and grabbed a handful of bills and tossed them down onto the bar before striding with purpose out of the bar and down the street to where Katie's apartment was. Yes, he had been that close the whole time. He had just needed liquid courage to show his face there after the ass he had been the few nights before. Now, as he walked drunkenly to her door, he propped himself against the door frame and knocked hard so that no matter where she was inside, she'd hear.
Katie: Sometimes you see things happening to other people, things that make you feel empathy for them. But yet, those were things that you thought they would never happen to you. Because right now, Katie was finding herself in a position that never in a million years she'd imagined she'd be in. And it all had started with a drunken night after one of Katie's failed dates. And as always she had gone to her best friend, who always had the right answer to every problem? Booze. She remember that night as if it were tomorrow, between laughs, jokes, and staring into each other's eyes.. the unthinkable happened. One night, that's all it took for her to get pregnant. And god how she remembered the constant battles between herself, deciding what to do. Whether she would tell him or not.. but how could she change his life so drastically? Now that Daredevil was out, and his career was going up, and especially since she would be moving to Vancouver to start a new life. She thought that her heart was in the right place... but honestly? What she was more afraid of? Was rejection, the rejection she had seen in his very eyes the night he found out about Kian. So there she was, by the fireplace with a glass of wine in hand, kid asleep in bed, and trying to read.. but she had been in the same page for the last half hour. That's when the relentless banging on her door pulled her out of her reverie of thought. She immediately went to get it, without bothering to ask who it was. The image of a very drunk Charlie surprised her to no end, making her raise her brows and allow for a breath to leave her lips. "Do you have any idea of what time it is? What are you doing here, Charlie?"
Charlie: "Nope," was the first reply that slipped from his lips while looking down at the floor. His world was spinning, or maybe it was just his vision, he had drank a lot more than he wanted to admit to himself. Normally he'd have a few then stop, Charlie knew his limits and when not to push them. Tonight, however, he hadn't wanted to stop and so he hadn't. "What am I doing here?" he repeated her question with a sneer in his voice. That was a stupid question. Why else would he be there? Katie was a smart woman, she should have known he'd eventually show up again and want answers. "I'm here because you owe me answers. I want to know about everything." His eyes finally rose to look into her's and he was caught for a moment in them. How was he going to survive this when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms, like he always had, and hug her tightly to him. Shaking his head, he straightened himself out but stumbled slightly so he leaned against te wall again. "I think I deserve that, don't you?" Katie could close the door in his face, which he probably deserved as well, but he'd make camp right there outside her door and become a statue. "Please.." his voice came out low, now a little softer than before. The man didn't want to fight. He didn't want to cause her any more problems. But he did want to hear what she had to say.
Katie: The actress had to close her eyes for a brief moment, as she ran her hair through her long and dark locks. She didn't know if she could do this.. face him, face the past, face her mistakes. Because she had fucked up.. so incredibly, and she was now very aware of that. She owed him answers, she did. But in this state? And with her sleeping child in the other room? But at least she had to try, she owed him that much. "Fine." Was all she was able to answer, her voice shaky and barely audible, as she helped him inside the apartment. Once they were inside the apartment she ushered him to the couch, where Oisin sat from across the room almost with a disapproving look -- yes, he might be a dog but she always knew he was incredibly smart. "Can you please try to to be quiet? I don't want Kian to listen to any of this.. and just.. " Another exhale came out, and she looked up at the ceiling. How the hell was she supposed to start? "I'll bring you a coffee.. and don't argue, I don't think I can talk to you while you're in this state." The actress explained before she disappeared inside the kitchen.
Charlie: didn't say anything as she helped inside and he all but collapsed on her sofa. His head swam a little so he laid it back against the cushion, his eyes closing while he listened to her in the kitchen. This was how things used to be, he thought to himself. Easy. Simple. No secrets between them. With that thought, his head turned towards the door where he knew his son slept and he opened his eyes warily. Getting to his feet, he went to the door and put his hand on the knob, not sure if he wanted to open it or not. For him, it was like Pandora's Box - just not filled with bad things. This box, this room, was filled with everything he could not see his life being filled with. Laughter, love, joy. That was what he had always wanted, wasn't it? A family. At least now that he was thinking about it, he was letting himself feel, it was something he could admit he wanted. So quietly he turned the knob and opened the door slightly, looking in on the sleeping child in the bed. For now that's all he wanted to do, look at him. See how he slept snuggled up in his bed, his head resting against the pillow and his small hand tucked up under his chin. "Kian," the name came from lips that he hadn't even known were forming the word. With a sigh, Charlie pulled the door closed again and went in search of Katie in the kitchen. His feet dragged the floor but he knew that he couldn't sit around and wait for her to get to it. He had to ask the questions in his head. "When did you find out you were pregnant?" tumbled from lips that he had to lick because they felt suddenly dry.
Katie: The moment she reached the kitchen, Katie leaned back against the cold wall, wrapping her arms around herself. As if she were trying to keep herself together, afraid that if she would let go an inch she would fall apart. This was not how she had imagined things, and the worst part was that she was the villain in this story. "Get yourself together." She breathed out to herself, as she took a deep breath and turned on the coffee machine, knowing that she would get at least 5 minutes alone in the kitchen until the coffee was made. Maybe she could use those five minutes to think about what she would actually say? But how can you rehearse such thing? God.. what had she done to her son? .. to her best friend. "Fuck.." Another breath escaped from her lips, and before realizing it, Charlie was now in the room with her, which immediately made her look up. Straightforward as always, at least some thing didn't change. "Six weeks after you and I slept together." She responded straight away, trying to keep an impassive tone in her voice. "I was already in Vancouver."
Charlie: stood there across the room from Katie, his hands stuffed into the pockets of the khaki pants that he was wearing. Six weeks.. The thought of that made him angry all over again, had him biting into his lip so that he didn't rage at her the way he wanted to. Finally when he felt he could talk without yelling at her, he let go of his lip and tasted the blood on his tongue from just now hard he had bitten into his own flesh. "And what - you thought it would be better to do it on your own?" Shaking his head, Charlie stumbled to the table and sat on the edge of one of the chairs once he had pulled it out. "You thought moving to Vancouver and having /our/ child alone was better than telling me?" He put emphasis on the word our, so that she heard how the anger but also the pain mingled together. "That I'd never know? That I'd never want to.. be a part of his life? That eventually your secret wouldn't come to light?" If Charlie had gotten anything from Daredevil, it was that what was in the shadows always came to light. No matter how hard you tried to shove them aside, how much you tried to hide them away in a corner where you could ignore them. They came out. And you had to deal with the consequences of what you'd done.
Katie: "This right there was the reason why I didn't want to do this while you're... drunk!" Katie exclaimed taking yet another deep breath, and trying to calm herself down and lowering her voice so she wouldn't wake Kian up. "Didn't you hear what I just said? Six weeks AFTER we slept together. I was ALREADY in Vancouver when I found out I was pregnant..." She began to explain but the emphasis on the word 'our' caused a humorless laugh to leave from her lips. "Oh, so now he is your kid? After you ask for a patertinity test? After you didn't believe what I said??" She took a small pause gathering her thoughts together, trying to stop fighting but right now it seemed like a lost cause. "I thought about telling you.. so many times, sometimes I didn't even sleep because the thoughts kept me up at night. There were so many what ifs in my head. You were just starting with Daredevil, it was becoming huge, you didn't anything else on your plate.. I had just become a regular on Supergirl, and I was finally having some stability. And most of all? I was afraid that you were going to act exactly like you did a few days ago, that you wouldn't believe me, that you wouldn't want my child. Because I never heard you talking about wanting a family.. and god.. it was only one night.-- I.. I don't know.. I'm-- sorry."
Charlie: "I heard exactly what you said, Katie. I might be inebriated but I'm not deaf." His eyes narrowed into a glare as he looked at her, hearing how her voice was raising and he couldn't help the slight smirk that now appeared on his face. She hadn't changed, there was still that spark of temper than came over her, one that had always annoyed him but.. for some reason it was a little hot to him now. "Just because you were in Vancouver didn't mean you couldn't reach out to me. I would have listened, I would have been there." With a sigh, he climbed to his feet and walked towards her slowly. "How would you have reacted if you were in my place? Would you have automatically accepted it as fact without needing concrete proof? Would you have not wondered why - if Kian was truly your child, with your /best friend/ - the other person didn't tell you right when they found out." Once he was standing in front of her, Charlie reached out to take her hand into his and really looked at her face. He saw the strain, the struggle going on within her, and he felt horrible. "Putting aside the excuse of how work was starting up for both of us, if they weren't in the equation, would you have told me then?" That was the question that really was eating at him. Yes, he was starting Daredevil and no, he had never thought about a family - but he wouldn't have neglected his responsibility to not only Katie but to their son.
Katie began to think about the possible reversed scenario that Charlie had laid out for her. It only took her a moment to respond, and as she looked up up at him she firmly said, "I would've believed you." She stopped to make a pause and rearrange her words. "Because of that exact reason, because you're my best friend, so I would've known you, I woul've known your heart and know that you wouldn't lie about something this big.. and I would've been horribly mad at you.. so bloody much." She closed her eyes and bit on her lower lip. Opening her eyes the moment he felt how he grabbed his hand, that simple touch causing her to shiver. She wanted to look away when he asked her /that/ question, but she couldn't. It was as if her eyes were glued to his, as if she were in some kind of trance she wasn't able to get out from. "Yes." Katie responded. "You had worked so hard for that role, I remember being incredibly proud of you when you got the call. How could I mess that up.. how could I? And I guess, in a way I was afraid that you wouldn't want him." She admitted, looking down for a slight second.
Charlie: "The thing is that I would have believed you if you had told me then, I wouldn't have had a single doubt about what you were saying. Because it's you, because it's us." Shaking his head, he let go of her hand and turned away from her so that he could get his thoughts in order before going on with what he wanted to say. "But when someone keeps something so big from you, it makes you wonder things. It makes you not want to see things in a certain way. Like you had said a few moments ago, it was one time. This wasn't something that was planned, it happened at a time that was huge for both of us." Once more he turned to her, his eyes trying to say the things that his mouth wouldn't. "That doesn't change that I wouldn't have rejected you or Kian. I would have stood by you, I would have stepped up and been the man and father that he needed. That you needed." A small smile came onto his lips. "You keep saying that you don't need anything from me, Kate, but it isn't about you anymore. It's about that child sleeping soundly in that bedroom." His hand rose and waved in the direction of Kian's bedroom, wonder now coming into his eyes. "You may not need me, but he's going to. He's going to need a father, someone to look up to. Someone who is going to fight his battles right along with him. I know you can do it, you're one of the strongest women I know, but you don't have to do it alone. I'm not offering you anything that I wouldn't anyone else if it was someone else standing here with me, talking about a child they created together. But it isn't someone else, it's my best friend. Someone I care for more than anyone else." His eyes had gone back to looking at the floor up now they rose again, looking at her face, but not directly into her eyes. "So please.. Don't keep him from me, don't.. I don't want to have to go through courts and lawyers. I don't want this to be cold and something that turns into a huge fight. He doesn't deserve that, he deserves to have both of his parents in his life."
Katie couldn't believe that this was actually happening. The plethora of emotions that was washing over her was nearly overwhelming he was right, of course he was. And she had to be woman enough to admit it. This was her child's life now -- their child -- and hearing the words coming out of Charlie's lips was starting to be a little too much for her, so she turned around to give him her back while she wipped away the tears that had now managed to escape from her eyes. She should've known better. He /wanted/ to be part of Kian's life.. he wanted her son, their son. And she should've known better, but as always she let her insecurities get the best of her and convince her that this wasn't something he needed back them. But oh boy how wrong she had been. "Don't you think I know that?" Katie said, still with her back to him. "Don't you think I know my son needs his father, that's the reason why I've been working my ass off and trying to juggle everything so he doesn't notice an absence and I know, okay? I know that was my own doing.. but I was afraid, Charlie!" She finally turned around and closed the small distance between them, standing in front of him. "A part of me also thought that you would want to be there because you felt forced to be.. and I know the kind of man you are, you play by the book, so i wouldn't have been surprised if you had thrown marriage into the picture or something like that-- when you had never wanted me that way and it would've been because you felt like you had to. It was so hard for me, you have no idea...." Katie exhaled and looked up at the ceiling. "You want to be part of his life? Fine, but you have to be there on every birthday, every football game, every Christmas, New Years, Easter, stay up when gets sick, everytime he wants to go the movies, save ants and cockroaches, because 'that's what superheroes do' and just be there.. do you think you can handle that? Do you have /time/ for that?" She sniffed and ran a hand through her hair, clearing her throat composing herself.
Last message was written 30 minutes ago
Charlie: stood there, a little in shock of everything she was saying, but mostly because for a moment he didn't know how to answer her. He was letting all the little things that was being a parent sink in, letting it flow through him and trying to come to terms with everything that was happening in his life now. Was he afraid? Yes, definitely. Was he going to let it ruin what was going to happen with them? No. That wasn't something that he'd allow. As she stood in front of him, he smiled at her, nodding his head along with everything she laid out in front of him. "I promise that I will be there for all of that and everything else that comes up. I promise that I am going to stand beside you and Kian, I'm going to put everything aside so that I am here for it all." Was he saying the right things? He didn't know but he knew that he was going to never let her down, never let Kian down. "I will make time because this is important. You and our son are important. That's what matters to me." He could take some time off if he needed to, so that he could get to know Kian. He would do that as soon as he could. "So.. how are we going to do this?" He asked, not sure how things were going to work now. "And.. I wouldn't have brought marriage up. Not if that's not something you aren't wanting in your life. Two people can co-parent without being in a relationship, without signing papers to say who they are or what they mean to each other." Though now that he thought about it, was marriage a better choice? Would she allow Kian to take his last name now that the news was out? Or would she rather he keep her name? Either way, it didn't matter. Kian was his. What his last name was didn't change that fact.
Katie: For the first time during that night a small smile began to appear on Katie's face, even if her eyes were somehow still filled with unshed tears. She was too damn emotional for her own good sometimes. Hearing all of those promises immediately made her heart flutter, maybe this would work out. Maybe her child could have a father after all. "I really hope you mean that, because this isn't something you can decide you don't want to do anymore once it gets hectic and hard... because it /will/ become hard. You will have to make sacrifices, you will have to make changes in your life and you need to think about and figure out if that's something you can do.." Katie said, walking over to the counter where the coffee was already done. She began to retrieve two cups, as she listened to Charlie's comments about co-parenting but she wasn't able to give him an answer when suddenly she heard a door closed, and right in cue Kian was entering the kitchen in his Captain America onesie, hair all messed up, while rubbing his eyes with his chubby little hand. "mama" he called after Katie in a groggy voice, and she immediately stopped what she was doing to pick him up in her arms, followed by Kian resting his head on her shoulder. "I'm here my love, what's wrong?" She was looking at Charlie now, while she rubbed her child's back. "We'll figure out a way." Was the only thing she could respond.
Charlie: was about to tell her to have more faith in him, that he wouldn't make this choice lightly. That he was going to be there whether she liked it or not. There wasn't anything more important than making this work for him. When Kian came into the kitchen, Charlie took a step back from Katie so that she couldn't lift their son into her arms. Seeing him up close again, he quickly straightened up and tried to seem less drunk. "Hello, Kian" Charlie said softly, a small nervous smile coming over his features. "Do you remember me?" he asked softly while reaching out to run his fingers through the young boys hair. This was going to be easy, he told himself. He could do this. They could all do it, if they put their minds to it. "My name is Charlie," he said as he took a step back and went to the coffee pot where he filled up two mugs with the dark substance. "I'm.. a friend of your mum's." How were they going to tell him the truth now that it's been two years? What had Katie told Kian about his father? Did she ever mention him? His eyes swiftly flew up to her's, not knowing what more to say or do. So he set the mugs down on the table and stuffed his hands back into the pockets of his pants. And then again, maybe this would be harder than he had thought it would be.
Katie: "Mommy, there's a monster in the closet." Kian whispered to Katie's ear and pulled back a little. "We need the tools!" He said excitedly, it seems like any hint of sleepiness was gone. After hearing his name Kian, turned to look at Charlie and immediately gave him a wide smile. "Are you my daddy?" He asked, innocently. To which Katie only sighed, and purse her lips. His question wasn't a shocker to her at all. Kian always seemed to ask that same question to every friend of Katie's he'd meet. Rami, Oliver, Josh. She had told him a story about how his dad was one of her best friends but was too busy saving the world. So now, the little boy would search for his father in every friend she had. "Baby, what have we said about asking people that?" She asked, and Kian crossed his arms, pouting. "We don't ask people that because it makes them uncom-- umcom-- umcomtable." He sighed dramatically. Fuck. How the hell where they going to tell him now. "Do you want to help him with the tools?" Katie turned to Charlie, searching to see if he had sobered up enough.
Charlie: wasn't sure how to handle the question that was just asked to him. So instead, he listened to Kian talk about a monster in his closet and he chuckled softly, nodding his head when Katie asked him if he wanted to help their son with the tools. He wasn't sure what tools they were talking about but this was something that he could help out with. Something he knew about. "Monsters are more scared of you, than you are of them." He told the boy, looking at Katie in askance of what tools they were needing. "Show me your tools and lets to monster hunting." clapping his hands together, Charlie walked up to Katie hesitantly before holding his arms out to take Kian if he would come with him. He was still a little shocked about the question asked earlier but he wasn't going to make a big deal of it. Obviously the boy had asked other men before him but he would be the last man he'd ever ask. One of these days they would have to sit him down and talk to him about who he was, that he was his real father. But for now, Charlie was happy to go monster hunting with him.
Katie was a little hesitant when Charlie reached for Kian, even though she shouldn't have been. She knew that this was new for all of them, and getting used to it would take time. But at least she was willing to try, they both were. So, without another thought, the actress handed her son to him and began leading them to the playroom. "Kian, will you show Charlie your tools?" Katie asked, and in cue the little boy whispered in Charlie's ear, "t's superhero tools! a mammer, shield, arrows." The little boy uttered and pointed to a big brown toy box that was in the far east of his playroom. "We have-- " Kian began to yawn, and rubbed his eyes. "We have to.. defeat the monster." He yawn again and before the battle even took place he got comfortable in Charlie's shoulder and fell asleep. Just like that. Which made Katie purse her lips to supress a laugh. "Does he remind you of someone? Falling asleep literally everywhere?" The actress wandered.
Charlie: "A hammer, shield and arrows. All the tools of the coolest superheros for sure," Charlie whispered bad to Kian then said a little more softly into his ear. "But do they have devil horns? Daredevil is my favorite of all the heroes." He winked at Katie before following her into the bedroom and going over to the box that was pointed out. Before he could set the boy down on his feet, little arms had wrapped around his neck and a tiny head was settled onto his shoulder. For a moment Charlie actually became still, as still as any statue could be. What was he supposed to do? Should be lay him down? He could but he didn't want to. Not yet. Instead he sat down on the bed and held on tighter, not hearing Katie's words but enjoying the feel of Kian in his arms. This was something he had never thought he'd miss. Something that he had never thought would catch his heart but it was. His heart was already caught and he knew that it would never be the same again. His eyes now rose and searched for Katie's in the darkened room. "Does it.. does it always feel this way?"
Katie was watching the entire exchange, Kian had always been a very outgoing kid. Completely different than how she was, but it was different with Charlie. It seemed like he was more at ease.. more comfortable even. Because even if she tried to remember, she didn't recall her son actually falling asleep in someone's arms that wasn't hers before. She also noticed how it took Charlie a little while to embrace what he was feeling, and if she could be honest with herself, it warmed her heart and the imagine of them was something that she would never want to erase from her memory. "Like you have the entire world in your arms?" Katie responded, with a tilting of her head. "Yes -- yes, it does, and it's a feeling I wouldn't change for anything."
Charlie: Holding the entire world in his arms - yes, that was exactly how it felt. "How did you do it, Kate?" he asked softly, laying his head on top of Kian's as he watched her, not taking his eyes off of her. Charlie knew that women were stronger than men, he might tease her and say that men were stronger but he didn't truly believe that. Women would always be the stronger of the two genders in his eyes. They went through so much that men had no idea about. How did Katie go so long doing it on her own? He was sure that her family helped her out but knowing her the way that he did, she would want to do it on her own. Taking help when she needed it most but never asking for it. "I wish you would have told me.. I wish I could have been there.. I wish.." There was no use in wishing on things in the past, you couldn't change what had been. Only what could be and that was what he was going to do. "Can I.. Can I stay here a little bit longer?" He had noticed there was a chair in the corner and he'd sit there, for hours if she'd let him, just watching their son sleep.
Katie: Upon hearing his question, the actress exhaled and ran a hand through her now messy hair as she leaned back against the nearest wall. How had she done it? The question itself caused a chuckle to escape from her lips. "I have no fucking clue." She said honestly, in a soft tone of voice not wanting to wake up her sleeping child. "I went through many stages, the freaking out one, the hopelessness one, and when I felt him kick for the first time, I knew that it was going to be okay. I had and still have a great support system, I have the best nanny in Vancouver.. my mom as good Irish woman wasn't that accepting of me doing this by myself so she hasn't met Kian yet, but my dad has and he adores him." Her eyes went back to Charlie. "I'm sorry." She said once again, her voice even softer than before. Katie nodded before responding, "Of course.. you can also stay in the guest bedroom -- if you want." She offered, as she began to head to the door, stopping midway. "Goodnight."
Charlie: heard everything that she said and every single point she made had him wincing but if anyone could make it through all of the things she named, it was Katie. Like he had thought before, she was strong. "Thank you.." was all the could say to her as he stood and placed Kian's sleeping body back into his bed, making sure to pull his blanket up around him so that he wouldn't get cold through the night. "Goodnight, Kate.. Sleep well." he murmured while walking to the chair and sitting down, his eyes moving from her face back to Kian. He wasn't able to keep his eyes from him for very long.
